Destined to Change

chapter 4



Loralei



A few weeks passed and I saw Jaxon almost every day. We would discuss farm business over coffee in the barn office every morning. I would sometimes eat lunch with the farmhands, and Jaxon and I would always sit close to each other. Once in awhile, our legs would touch under the table. That would send a shiver up my spine. It was like we couldn’t get close enough.

We flirted innocently, well mostly, and I really thought about what my mom had said. He may not be my forever, but he could be perfect for my right now.

The other farmhands and Jake were always teasing Jaxon about his “fancy-pants”, heavy metal t-shirts, and of course his piercings and tattoos. He took it all in stride, but I could tell that some of the things they would say to him would embarrass him. They called him “Stud” because of his many piercings, and I really think they were kinda jealous of all the attention he was getting around town. Women were definitely taking notice of Jaxon. We didn’t see many guys like him in this little town.

We were all sitting around the table in the barn office eating lunch on that Wednesday afternoon. Jaxon just kept staring at his plate. He looked like he was scared to eat what was on it.

I leaned over. “What do you mean you don’t know what greens are? How is that possible?” I was trying not to laugh my ass off at him.

“Woman, I have never even heard of greens. What exactly are they? Looks like spinach, and I’m definitely not Popeye.” He continued to stare at his plate.

I couldn’t control my laughter. He finally took a bite of the collard greens fried with bacon and onions, and he smiled. Shoveling a huge forkful in his mouth, he said, “These are awesome!”

I realized it was going to be fun introducing Jaxon to my country ways. He grew up in the city and he was definitely a “city boy”. He had only been on the farm a little over a month. He hadn’t really been able to experience much since he’d been here.

After lunch, Jaxon followed me back to my office and he looked really nervous. He was wringing his hands and I could tell he was sweating. He walked in behind me and shut the door behind us. I wasn’t sure what was going on, and I was a little nervous now too. I tried to stifle a chuckle at him, but I didn’t know what was coming next. I finally broke the silence, “Jaxon, can I help you with something?”

“Um, I have a question to ask you, Loralei. I was wondering, would you like to go out with me Friday night?” He finally made eye contact when he said, “Friday night”.

Oh my God! Jaxon was asking me out. On a date? Whoa! I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t want to say yes, because if I was being honest with myself, my feelings for him kinda scared me. But I didn't want to say no either, because my lady parts needed to be happy and Jaxon sure could make them dance just by looking at me with those gorgeous brown eyes. I had also promised my mom I would take a chance on him.

I had to answer him. I had been standing there staring into his eyes while I was having this conversation in my head. “Yes, Jaxon, I would love to go out with you on Friday. I’ll just need to make sure my parents can watch the twins.” Yeah, right, like that would be a problem. My mom would be jumping for joy when I told her.

Jaxon finally took a breath. I couldn’t believe how nervous he was and how relieved he seemed now that I had said yes. He then placed a light kiss on my cheek as he left my office. I felt like one of those silly love sick teenagers who say, “I’ll never wash this cheek again.” I felt silly for feeling that way, but it was kinda true.

Thank goodness it was already Wednesday when he asked me out. I don’t think I could’ve survived having to wait any longer; my nerves were about to overtake me. My mom had of course jumped on the opportunity to babysit.

When Friday finally rolled around, Emma came over to help me get ready for my big date.

“What are you planning on wearing tonight, Lor?” Emma asked as she held up my old Hank Jr. t-shirt between her fingers like it was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen.

“I’m not sure. That’s why I asked you to come over. Now, help me pick something out,” I said, sounding a little annoyed with her hatred of most of my clothes.

She gave me that devilish smirk. I’m not gonna lie, that smirk had always scared me. I saw that smirk right before she almost got us kicked out of school in the seventh grade for filling Mrs. Edgeller’s desk drawer with shaving cream. “Well, luckily, I anticipated this problem and brought you some options from my closet.”

That meant she had brought something that I probably wouldn’t be caught dead in. She pulled out a bright red dress that was so short it would have left nothing to the imagination. “Uh, that’s a no. Next.” I looked at her annoyed. Then she pulled out a little black dress that I swear to God was cut all the way down to the navel. I didn’t even have to say anything on that one. She could tell by my stance and expression that she better just put that right back in her magic skank bag!

Finally, she pulled out a light pink ruffle skirt. It was so cute, a little short, but definitely something I would wear. “Okay, this I might be able to work with. What should I wear with it?”

“I would wear it with a white tank and this.” She pulled out a gorgeous short hot pink denim jacket with some rhinestones on the breast pockets. So country, and so definitely me. Ems had always known me so well. She knew I would never wear her first two picks.

After she helped me get ready, she headed home, and I almost wore a dent in the floor pacing in front of the door as I waited for Jaxon to arrive. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this nervous. Jaxon and I had been flirting and spending time together on the farm, so this was the logical next step. But what if he expected more? What if he thought we would have sex tonight? I definitely wasn’t ready for that.

When he finally got to my house I didn’t even wait for the doorbell to ring. I heard his truck pull up and I opened the door. He hopped out of the truck and my heart skipped a beat. He looked absolutely gorgeous. He had on dark stonewashed jeans, and a dark grey button up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up - just enough for me to see some of his tattoos - and black motorcycle boots. His hair looked like he had run his hands through it a few times. About the time I had that thought he reached up and did it.

I giggled to myself.

“What’s so funny, babe?” He asked.

Oh my goodness, he just called me babe. The butterflies were going crazy in my stomach.

“Nothing. You’re just really hot - uh, I mean here - really here.” I had totally just stuck my foot in my mouth.

He just chuckled and reached his hand out for me, “Ready to go?”

“Sure. Where are we heading to?”

“It’s a surprise. By the way, uh, you look really, really hot tonight,” he said as he looked me up and down and then smiled when he reached my eyes.

A blush crept up my cheeks. And my lady parts were definitely dancing. I didn’t know how I was going to survive the night. We headed out of town toward the city. It was about a forty-five minute drive into Springfield.

For the first thirty minutes of the trip, we didn’t speak. Jaxon held onto the wheel and didn’t take his eyes off of the road. I was really enjoying his taste in music though. He was playing lots of classic rock.

I was staring out the window, taking in the scenery when I heard it. The sexiest voice was singing - in the car - it wasn’t coming from the radio - it was Jaxon. The song playing was Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton, and he was hitting all the right notes. His voice was so sultry and low. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his lips.

All I wanted to do was kiss those beautiful lips. When the song was over he glanced over at me. Our eyes met, he licked his lips, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was.

I took a deep breath and said, “Wow, you can really sing.”

“Well, don’t sound so surprised. You know there is more to me than tattoos and piercings. I’m not a complete badass, just about half.” He smirked, and damn it was sexy.

“Just half, huh? You’re voice did surprise me, it’s kinda beautiful...oh, and super sexy.” I added my own sexy little smirk. I didn’t know what had come over me. I didn’t say things like that. And a smirk? I was seriously losing my mind.

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. When we got into town he drove toward downtown and pulled up to a valet at RELICS a new dance club. I had seen an article in the local paper about it, but I didn’t think it would be on my list of places to go anytime in the near future. Jaxon took my hand in his, and we started walking toward the club.

Downtown Springfield was such a pretty place. There were all these little bars, restaurants, and quaint shops. I didn’t come here often, but I when I did I always ate at Luisa’s Italian Bistro. The fettuccini there was literally to die for. Like, I seriously could die happy after eating a bowl of it. I was surprised when we walked right past the entrance to RELICS.

“Weren’t we supposed to get in that line?” I asked while pointing to the line in front of RELICS.

“I thought we could grab something to eat before we go dancing. Your mom recommended a place for us. I have reservations at seven o’clock, so we better hurry.” I was so excited when I saw where we were going - Luisa’s Italian Bistro. My mom really was an awesome lady.

We walked in and Jaxon strutted up to the hostess desk to let them know we were there. The hostess seated us near the back of the restaurant in a secluded little corner booth. I slid in on one side and Jaxon slid in on the other. We immediately met in the middle. It was like we were drawn to each other with some sort of magnet. I couldn’t sit there and not be close enough to smell him, to feel him, to touch him.

The waitress came over to our table and took our drink orders. Then Jaxon ordered for us. He ordered me my favorite meal of fettuccini alfredo with extra sauce. Apparently, my mom had given him some pretty strong “date” suggestions.

We chatted while we waited for our food. It was so nice to have a totally adult conversation. I love my kids with all my heart, but sometimes it’s nice to talk about grown-up things with another grown-up. It also didn’t hurt that this grown-up was amazingly sexy and really trying to get on my good side. He didn’t need to try quite so hard. He was pretty much there.

“You know I’m not a good dancer. Why would you want to take me to a dance club?”

“Well, first of all, I know you can dance. Everybody can dance. Secondly, I can’t wait to get you on the dance floor and hold you tight. And last but not least, did I mention I can’t wait to hold you tight and sway your body with the music?” There was that “melt your panties” look of his. Holy hell - I was blushing, again.

“Will you sing to me?”

“You wanna do some karaoke? I’d never turn that down.” He said with a grin.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Your voice is amazing. Are you in a band? Or do you sing professionally?”

He let out a big belly laugh. “Uh, no honey, I am nowhere near good enough for that. I just like to sing. Always have. My mom used to sing Elvis songs to me all the time. She was literally obsessed with that man. I swear my first words were ‘thank you, thank you very much’,” he said that last part with his best Elvis impersonation. It really wasn’t half bad - he even had the lip curl down.

The waitress appeared at our table and delivered our food. Jaxon had ordered lasagna, but I think he ate more of my fettuccini than his own food.

“Um, excuse me. Are you going to eat your own food or would you just like to finish mine?” I chuckled.

His mouth was full of my fettuccini as he mumbled, “Oh, sorry. Yours is just so damn good. You never should have let me taste it. I can order you some more if you're still hungry.”

I pushed my plate over to him and moved his lasagna to the side. “No, that’s okay. Go ahead and finish mine. I’m full.”

“Thanks for sharing. It’s really delicious.” He said.

I looked over and he had alfredo sauce on his chin. I wasn’t sure what to do. I tried to kinda rub my chin, to show him that he needed to do the same. But he wasn’t picking up on my hints. Finally, I said, “Uh, you have a little somethin’ on your chin.” I leaned over and used my napkin to wipe his chin off. Our eyes met and there was that weird electric thing again. His eyes were smoldering and I realized we had both leaned in to each other. We were so close and I had kinda forgot about wiping his chin, and was just holding the napkin in place. He licked his lips, and I just about lost it. I wanted him to kiss me again. It had scared me to death at Dave’s Place, but this was different. I wanted him to kiss me – now. He grabbed my hand and placed it on the table.

“I probably better finish this…uh, don’t wanna let it go to waste.” He scooted over away from me and we didn’t talk much after that. Jaxon was too busy shoveling food down his throat. That man definitely had a healthy appetite.

When we were done at the restaurant we started to head back toward the club. As we were walking out of the restaurant Jaxon reached over and laced his fingers through mine. It felt so nice to walk down the street holding his hand. His hand was so warm, and comforting. These small things he was doing were melting my heart. I felt sad when he had to use his hand to take his wallet out and pay our cover for RELICS.

This place was huge and so bright. A strobe light was spinning around the dance floor, making everything shine. There was a huge bar all along the right side of the club. The bar was made out of ice. It was literally and figuratively cool.

The place was packed, wall-to-wall people. I always kinda felt like I was still young and I tried to be hip, but being here made me feel old and outdated. The dance floor was huge, and the tiles were all different colors. It looked like a spazzed out version of a checkers board. I honestly wondered if any of these kids had been carded. They all looked like they had several years to go before they turned twenty-one. And the way they were dancing – they were practically having sex on the dance floor. It was like a traffic accident I didn’t want to watch, but I couldn’t look away. It reminded me of an orgy, not that I had ever been to an orgy, but it’s what I assumed one would look like.

Since there were no seats available at the bar, Jaxon ordered us a couple of drinks and we headed for a group of small tables nestled along the back wall. Jaxon placed his hand on the small of my back and led me to an empty table. His touch sent shivers up my spine.

We sat across from each other and tried to talk, but it was so loud that we couldn’t hear ourselves think. We sat there for quite a while just watching everything going on out on the dance floor. There was this blonde skank rubbing all over some guy right in front of us. She had on a super short, strapless black leather dress that zipped up the side. The guy’s eyes were literally bugging out of his head. She was falling out of that dress and he was enjoying it. I couldn’t quit staring. I finally tore my gaze away and looked over to Jaxon. He was staring at me. He licked his lower lip, and I had to wonder what he was thinking. Had he seen the show I had been watching? Did he expect me to dance with him like that? Uh, that wasn’t going to happen.

I had a couple glasses of wine with dinner, and I wasn’t sure what these drinks were that Jaxon got us, but wow! They were yummy. I was on my third yummy drink, when Jaxon stood up, leaned down and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Wanna dance?”

I shook my head, furrowing my eyebrows. I really didn’t want to get out there with all those...those...kids. Of course they probably weren’t really that much younger than me, but they were really making me feel ancient. And I was a little buzzed. I couldn’t dance when I was sober, let alone when I’d been drinking.

“Sorry, but I won’t take no for an answer.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the dance floor. It was a good thing he had a good grip on me, because my knees were wobbly.

We were packed in like sardines. The song that was playing was so sexy. The beat was slow, but the rhythm was intoxicating. I had never heard it before, but all of the people dancing were just rubbing against each other.

Jaxon put his hands on my hips and spun me until my back was against his chest. He started to move and I decided to just let the music take over. I enjoyed pressing up against him. I reached up and put my arms around his neck. This felt so good. I found myself hoping that the song would never end. But eventually it did. When it ended we didn’t stop dancing, but Jaxon did turn me around so that I was facing him. His eyes, wow, he had the most amazing eyes. I could look into them all day. They were brown with the most beautiful flecks of gold through them. The gold made them sparkle. I could see in his eyes that he was a little buzzed too.

When he pressed me against him, I could feel him against my thigh. He was excited - and to be honest, I was too. I was silently begging him to kiss me. He leaned down and was so close to my lips that I could feel his breath, and then he stopped. He kinda shook his head, placed his hand in mine, and led me back to our table.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. We made small talk. He even talked about the weather....the weather. I didn’t understand what had happened. I knew he was excited so I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t kiss me. Twice…he had two openings to kiss me and he didn’t do it either time.

When he took me home, he walked me to the door and didn’t say anything but “goodnight” and “I’ll see ya tomorrow.” Talk about mixed signals - even with my very limited experience with men I could see them.

I didn’t hear a word from Jaxon all day Saturday. It’s not like I sat at home waiting for him to call, but I did stay home all day, just in case. He was at church on Sunday, and he came to my parents’ house for lunch. He didn’t have much to say to me. We mostly just made small talk. He even mentioned the weather again. I started to think that maybe I had imagined it. Maybe there weren’t any sparks there.

The kids fell asleep after lunch, so I decided I would take a ride out through the property and check on the most recent shipment of cattle. It was a strong rule in our family that we didn’t work on Sunday’s, but to me this didn’t count as work.

I went home and changed clothes, and then I jumped on one of the four-wheelers and headed out. I was riding along, looking out over our vast property and feeling lucky that it was all ours. Knowing one day Sammy and Mags would inherit it. I couldn’t help but be proud of the accomplishments I had made since taking over the management of the farm. I had handled the acquisition of most of the acreage and cattle. I couldn’t even imagine all of the amazing things Sammy and Mags would be able to do when they took it over. I also couldn’t help but be happy that the property was vast and they could live on opposite sides.

As I was enjoying my daydream about the future, I hit a huge rock, veered off and hit a tree. Just my luck. I wasn’t hurt, but the front of the four-wheeler was caved in a little and there was smoke coming out of it, which I could only assume was not a good sign.

While I was saying a few choice words to the tree and the four-wheeler I heard someone say, “Need some help?”

Jaxon, of course, my pierced, tattooed, knight in shining armor. He had on an old pair of jeans that were worn at the knees and a wife-beater, his tattoos were prominently displayed. It was a pretty warm day and he had been working, which we weren’t supposed to be doing on Sunday, so he was sweating just enough to sparkle. Oh my god the man was actually sparkling!

Realizing I sounded like a damsel in distress, I said, “It seems as though I do.”

He walked around to the front of the four-wheeler. He tinkered with something under the hood and told me he would bring a trailer down to pick it up later. Then he climbed onto his four-wheeler and motioned to me. “Hop on.”

I climbed on behind him and I had to hold on, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tight. I told myself that, in order to be safe, I had to hold on tight; it made perfect sense.

We rode all around the property. Stopping a few times to fix some fence and help a few cattle get back with the rest of the herd. Before I knew it, it was getting dark and then I felt it – one lone raindrop. We raced back to the barn, but we were too late. The skies opened up and that one raindrop turned into sheets of rain falling down on us.

We were soaking wet. Jaxon tried to get us back as fast as possible, but in his haste he ran into a huge puddle and the four-wheeler sank in. He climbed off and asked me to try to gun it while he pushed so we could get it unstuck.

He stepped behind the four-wheeler and started to push while I accelerated. About that time mud flew all over him! He was covered in it, the four-wheeler was beyond stuck, and I couldn’t quit laughing.

“You think this is funny, huh? I don’t like it when you laugh at me. Come here, babe.” Jaxon grabbed me, pressing his body to mine as he covered me in mud. The mud didn’t bother me though, because it meant that Jaxon was pressed firmly against me. And then the sparks flew. I definitely hadn’t imagined that spark.

He looked down at me as we stood in the middle of a rainstorm, and I heard him whisper to himself, “F*ck it.” Then he took my mouth with such force that we fell into the mud. We both laughed until we couldn’t anymore because our tongues were too busy dancing. His hands were under my t-shirt and on my breasts before I even knew what was happening. Wow, he could kiss and he felt amazing. He pulled my wet shirt over my head, and I helped him get his off. He pulled the cups of my bra down under my breasts. His lips trailed down my neck, and then he took my nipple into his mouth. I almost had an orgasm right then. I hadn’t been touched like that in ten years. Ten very, very long years. I couldn’t get enough of him.

He sucked and then he bit me. Wow! I liked it. It felt amazing. I couldn’t help it though when I cried out as he leaned over and bit my other nipple.

“Shit, did I hurt you?” Jaxon panicked.

“No, it feels so good - please don’t stop.”

He looked up at me, gave me that sexy ass smirk and nipped one nipple, while he squeezed the other between his fingertips.

With one hand I started rubbing his chest and with the other I was pulling at his jeans. I really didn’t know what came over me. I didn’t know if it was the rain or the way Jaxon was kissing a trail down further and further until he found the one place that really needed his attention, but I was a freaking hot mess.

He looked up at me through those gorgeous long eyelashes, silently asking me if it was okay. I nodded and he pulled my wet jeans off and then my panties were gone. He kissed my inner thigh and then trailed kisses down to my sex. He started tracing circles on my * with his tongue. I was so close, I was moaning as I arched my back. Jaxon inserted his finger and then two fingers, in and out, over and over again until I exploded with a loud scream, “Jaxon – Oh my god - Jaxon!”

He climbed up and kissed me, it was so soft and loving. I knew at that moment that I was falling for this guy, and not just because of the mind blowing orgasm he just gave me, there was just something about him. I really wanted to make him feel as great as he made me feel, but when I started to unzip his jeans, he stopped me. “This was for you. I just wanted to make you feel like I've felt every time I’ve looked at you.” With those words, my heart melted.

Sometime during the last few minutes the rain had stopped and the sun was shining. I had to ask him, “Why didn’t you kiss me on our date?”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. “You have no idea how much I wanted to. But you had been drinking, and I didn’t want our first real kiss to happen when you were tipsy.” I leaned toward him and kissed him softly. “Thanks for that. This first kiss was pretty amazing.” Uh-oh, I was definitely falling for this guy.



Jaxon



Our date had been perfect. It was actually the best date I had ever been on. I had two opportunities to kiss her. And I wasted both of them. I told myself that it was because she had been drinking and I didn’t want our first real kiss to be when she was buzzed. But the real reason why I didn’t kiss her was because I knew I shouldn’t kiss her. Uncle Jake had warned me away from her. He told me she had heartbreak in her past and then she confirmed it when she told me about Declan. I should’ve stayed away from her. I shouldn’t have asked her out. But I wanted to. There was just something different about her. She was so sweet and just, I don’t know, different than anyone I had ever known.

I decided after our date, that I had to keep my ass away from her. She deserved so much better than me. We didn’t speak on the way home much. I didn’t dream of offering her a kiss goodnight, and I didn’t call her the next day. I knew I was being an ass, but I felt like that was the way it needed to be. When she found out about my history, she would run away screaming. This way we would just avoid all that.

Uncle Jake asked me to take one of the four-wheelers out and do a field check. Just to see if anything was going on with any of the cattle or anything. I was coming up over one of the hills when I saw her. Loralei. She was so damn sexy. She was cussing and screaming at her four-wheeler that had smoke barreling out of it. I drove down the hill to see if I could help her out.

“Need some help?” I asked.

She responded, “It seems as though I do.”

I walked to the front of the four-wheeler and quickly assessed the damage. She had literally blown a gasket. Poor thing…it was gonna take a lot to get it back in working order.

“I’ll have to bring a trailer down to pick it up later.”

Then I climbed on my four-wheeler, motioned to her, and said, “Hop on.”

She climbed on behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Holy shit! She felt so damn good and she was holding on so tight. No Jaxon, this is not a good idea. You are screwed in the head and you will hurt her. I told myself this, but I had a strong tendency to not listen to myself.

We rode around the property, stopping a couple of times to fix some fence. It started to get dark, so I was trying to get us back to the barn fast. All of a sudden it started raining. I sped up and just as I did I drove right into a huge puddle and the damn four-wheeler sank in. The rain was falling in sheets, and we were soaking wet. I was pissed. I jumped off of the four-wheeler and got behind it to push it out of the puddle. “Loralei, I need you to gun it when I say the word.” I was pushing and I yelled at her, “Now.”

Mud flew up all over me. I was f*cking covered in it. And what was she doing? Laughing her ass off. God, she was so cute when she laughed at me. I told her I didn’t like it, but secretly it was becoming one of my favorite things.

I grabbed her and pressed my body to hers. Damn, it felt good to rub all over her. There was that damn electricity again. I knew what I needed to do, but in that moment all that mattered was what I wanted to do. “F*ck it.”

I slammed my mouth to hers and knocked us both to the ground. We were lying in the mud, laughing, and kissing. I slid my hands under her shirt, up to her breasts. They were so damn perfect. I had dreamed about touching them. It was amazing. I pulled her soaking wet shirt off and I had to see them, so I pulled her bra down under her breasts. They had to be kissed. I started at her neck and worked my way down. She was shuddering and I thought she was going to come right then.

I took her nipple in my mouth and sucked. I couldn’t help myself, I nipped her. She cried out when I made my way to her other nipple and did the same thing.

I was freaked out, afraid I hurt her. “Shit, did I hurt you?”

She said, “No, it feels so good - please don’t stop.”

That was all I needed to hear. I went back to work on her nipples. They were so beautiful and they just needed to be nibbled on.

She was rubbing my chest and pulling at my jeans. I was kissing her neck, chest, stomach, I needed to taste her. She was about to come unraveled under me. She was so responsive. She wanted me, just as much as I wanted her.

I looked up at her, wanting to make sure it was okay for me to go further. Her nod was all I needed. I pulled off her jeans and panties. I kissed her thigh and then started heading for the one place I really wanted to be. I needed to taste her, so I did. I was using my tongue to draw circles on her *. She was loving it. She arched her back and that’s when I slid a finger in and then another. Watching her come undone was beautiful. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. When she screamed, “Jaxon – Oh my god - Jaxon!” I about lost it.

I wanted to kiss her - a sweet kiss to let her know how much I cared. I was falling for this woman. I couldn’t stay away another minute. There were things about me that I was going to have to tell her, but not today. Right now I just wanted to be with her.

She reached down and started to unbutton my jeans. I wanted that more than anything, what man wouldn’t? But this was for her. This was about me showing her how much I cared. I said, “This was for you. I just wanted to make you feel like I've felt every time I’ve looked at you.”

While we were having this mind blowing experience the rain had stopped and the sun was now shining. She asked, “Why didn’t you kiss me on our date?”

I didn’t want to tell her the truth. I didn’t want to tell her that I didn’t think I was good enough for her. So, I told her a partial truth, “You have no idea how much I wanted to. But you had been drinking, and I didn’t want our first real kiss to happen when you were tipsy.”

She gave me a sweet kiss, and said, “Thanks for that. This first kiss was pretty amazing.” I was in trouble. I was falling hard for this woman.



Loralei



I asked Jaxon if he would like to have dinner with me and the kids tonight. After he agreed we walked back to my house and Jaxon told me he wanted to go home and shower and change. We were pretty dirty after our tryst in the mud.

He said he would be back soon. When I got inside the house I found a note from my mom:

Honey,

Jake saw you and Jaxon riding around the property and I thought you might want some “alone” time so I will keep the twins overnight. Have fun and don’t think too much!

Love, Mom

My mom was a piece of work, but she was right - an entire evening with Jaxon sounded perfect. I was a little worried about what Jake might have seen, but I decided not to think about that right now. I could be embarrassed about that later.

For dinner, I made a pan of my famous goulash. And after I got the rolls ready to put in the oven, I still had time to shower. I decided to just wear jeans and a t-shirt. About the time I got my shirt on and my hair pulled up in a ponytail, I heard someone knocking on the door. When I opened the door, he took my breath away. Jaxon was standing there with faded jeans and a black AC/DC t-shirt on, holding out a yellow daisy. And those eyes, those amazing, big deep brown sparkling eyes.

“Hi, can I come in?”

I didn’t realize it, but apparently I had been staring at him for a while and hadn’t let him in the house or taken the flower from him.

I took the flower. “Sorry, yes, please, uh, come in.”

He looked all around the house. My house was not nearly as large as my parents’, but it was plenty big enough for me and the kids. He was standing in front of the fireplace, looking at my family pictures on the mantle. He turned to me, “Where are the kids?” I told him they were eating dinner at my parents’ house.

We went into the kitchen and sat down on opposite sides of the table. I placed the pan of goulash I had made for dinner in front of him.

“Uh, what’s that?” Jaxon said while wrinkling his nose at me. “I mean it smells pretty good, but what exactly is it?”

I really am a horrible cook. This was actually the only thing I made that the kids would willingly eat. I usually had to bribe them to force down my horrible concoctions. And we had to keep a fire extinguisher under the sink, just in case.

“It’s like spaghetti, but it’s made with macaroni and I added some zucchini and mushrooms. I promise it won’t kill you.”

He placed a large ladle full on his plate and when he took the first bite he smiled. “It’s delicious, Loralei.”

In my snarkiest voice I smiled and said, “I told you so.”

After we finished dinner, I got up and walked over to the freezer to get out some ice cream for dessert, when I felt Jaxon come up behind me. He was so close that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. He reached across me and grabbed some ice to put in his tea. He dropped a cube on the floor and when I bent down to pick it up, he did too, and we bumped foreheads.

“Ow,” he whined.

“Really? My little head, hurt your big hard head?” I said with a giggle.

“Are you laughing at me?” he asked.

“Um, maybe?”

He leaned down over me. We were almost nose-to-nose, when he said, “I really don’t like it when you laugh at me.”

Well, that was that. That man was making my panties melt. He backed me up against the counter and placed his arms behind me on the cabinet. Then I felt it. He put the ice cube down the back of my shirt. I screamed. He jumped back and was cracking up.

“What’s the matter, babe? You cold?”

I shimmied the ice cube out of my shirt and chased after him. “You know what they say about payback?”

“Nope. Don’t believe I do. What is it they say?”

“You know…”

“Maybe? But I would really like to hear you say it.” He smirked at me.

I had him backed up against the dining room table. I had one hand on his chest and the other, with the ice cube, beside him on the table. I pressed forward and while looking into his eyes, said, “It’s a bitch.” Right as I raised my hand from the table and put the ice cube down the front of his jeans. He was so busy looking in my eyes, that he missed what I was planning. He screamed and jumped up.

While shaking and shimmying to get the ice out of his pants, he said, “Are you laughing at me, again?”

I couldn’t stop laughing. It was hilarious trying to watch this big, bad guy trying to shake an ice cube out of his pants. “Yes, I am. I really am. Because you’re freaking hilarious.”

He helped me clear the table and we went into the living room. I asked him if he would like to watch a movie.

“Depends, it’s not a chick flick, is it?” he said with a grin.

“We can watch whatever you like. Just check out the movies and I’m gonna call my mom to check on the twins and tell them goodnight.” I didn’t even think about what I was saying.

“So the kids are spending the whole night away?”

Wow, I must have looked like a total slut after what happened this afternoon and then it looked like I sent my kids away for the night to be with him. I was so embarrassed I could literally hide under the couch. I could feel the blush creep into my face.

“Um, yeah. Mom wanted to keep them overnight.”

And that’s when the entire atmosphere changed. Before I got to the phone Jaxon was behind me whispering, “Make it a quick phone call, we have grown-up things to take care of.”

Grown-up things? Holy hell!

I was on the phone a while. I had to describe to Mags all the reasons why she shouldn’t suffocate her brother in his sleep. Apparently, he had once again hidden her iPod from her. When I talked her down and told the kids goodnight, I hung up the phone. I walked toward the living room and found Jaxon sitting on the couch. His eyes met mine.

Before I could get into the room, I don’t know how he did it, but he was off of the couch and standing in front of me. His lips were on mine and he had me pressed against the wall. He lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. It felt so good to be in his arms and to feel how much he wanted me. I hadn’t felt wanted like that in a long time. It was nice to know that I excited him as much as he did me.

Before I knew it he had carried me to the couch and I was straddling him. His lips never left mine and I ran my hand down his muscular chest, then his stomach, finally I stopped at the waist of his jeans.

He pulled his shirt over his head and started to do the same with mine. My mind was racing. I was feeling so many different emotions. I wanted him. He wanted me. I could feel him pressing against me. His kisses were so intense. I kept thinking about this afternoon, and how he had made me feel. I wanted to be with him like this. But that didn’t lessen the wave of fear that suddenly hit me. I didn’t know how to do this. I’d only been with one man. Declan. Oh my god, Declan. I pulled away from Jaxon. He looked up at me, he was breathing so heavy, “Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?”

I decided I should be honest. “Jaxon, I haven’t done anything like this in a while.”

“How long is a while, Loralei,” he asked.

“I haven’t been with anyone, well besides what we did this afternoon, since Declan. And we, uh, we only did it once.”

I had never been so embarrassed in my life, there was no way that he would want to be with me now. I expected him to run for the door screaming, but when I looked up he looked scared or sad, I couldn’t really tell.

“Did I hurt you today, Lor? I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”

Could this man be any more perfect? He was worried about hurting me, when all he did was give me the most amazing sexual experience I had had since I was sixteen years old.

I placed my hand on his cheek. “No Jaxon, you didn’t hurt me. I just don’t want to disappoint you. I’m a little naïve when it comes to this stuff, and I don’t want you to take my shyness as me not wanting to be with you, because I want that more than anything.”

“Loralei, I want to do this right. Our first time should be special and not a quickie on the couch, not that I am opposed to quickies on the couch, just for future reference.” God, that smirk would get me every time.

He reached out and pressed his hand into mine and asked me to lead him to my room. When we got there he laid down on my bed and motioned for me to lay down beside him. I crawled into bed and snuggled into his chest.

Bravely, I started to kiss his chest and trace the tattoo there and then when I nibbled on his nipple he moaned the deepest, sexiest moan I had ever heard. He placed his finger under my chin and tilted my head up to look at him. He pressed his lips to mine and when he slid his tongue into my mouth I returned the moan I had received from him earlier.

I ran my hand down his chest, his stomach, and my hands were shaking as I started to unzip his jeans. Jaxon grabbed my hand, whispering, “Slow down honey, there’s plenty of time for that. Tonight, let’s just, well - cuddle? Women love that, right?”

I giggled, “Yeah, I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.”

“Then it’s settled. I’m going to sleep with you tonight and I’m going to cuddle the shit out of you.”

“Well, when you put it like that, how can I turn you down?”

“I would never push you into anything, Lor. We have all the time in the world. I’m not going anywhere.”