Destined to Change

chapter 2



I hopped on a four-wheeler and headed out to the back edge of the property to check on Jake who was mending fence. The ride out there was invigorating. I always loved riding across the property and surveying our land. It brought me great joy.

Our property was huge. This time of year it was always so pretty and green with the rolling hills and the beautiful red maple trees decorating the property. Autumn on the farm was my favorite time of the year. When the leaves started to change colors, it made our property look like a picture perfect postcard.

When I got closer to where Jake was working, I noticed there was another man out there working with him. I was still pretty far away, but I could already tell he was built, and when I say “built” I mean, he was huge. He had muscles on his muscles. As I got closer, I also noticed his ass, his gorgeous “you could bounce a quarter off of that” ass.

When he heard me riding up, he turned toward me. My lady parts did a little dance they hadn’t done in ten long years. This man was gorgeous, really beautiful. He had kinda shaggy dark brown hair, huge deep brown eyes. He was wearing skin tight blue jeans, not Wranglers, but “fancy pants”, which is what my dad called any jeans that weren’t Wranglers, and a black Metallica t-shirt. His arms were covered in tattoos and his eyebrow was pierced. I had to chuckle, because he looked so out of place standing out there in the middle of the herd mending fence with Jake.

I climbed off of the four-wheeler and walked up to Jake and this sexy stranger. He couldn’t take his eyes off of me. He just kept staring. I mean what the hell, I knew I looked a little rough after my night out with Emma, but it wasn’t like I was gross or anything. His eyes seemed to be glued to me. It actually weirded me out a little bit.

“Loralei, come here. I want to introduce you to my nephew, Jaxon Daniels. He just got into town from California.” Jake said. Jaxon made a grunting sound and then turned around and walked back toward the fence. “He’s having a hard time right now kid, sorry, about that.”

I wasn’t sure what to think of this guy, so I asked curiously, “What’s he doing here, Jake? Is he staying with you?”

“It’s a long story hon, but he’s gonna be working with me for a bit. Your dad said it was okay as long as he stayed out of trouble.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “If it’s fine with ya’ll, I guess it’s fine with me too.”



Jaxon



Shoveling shit at six o’clock in the morning had not been my idea of getting away from everything, but apparently, Uncle Jake had other ideas.

“I got no problem with ya staying here, son. But you gotta earn your keep.”

“Sorry, sir. I shouldn’t be complaining. I really appreciate you letting me stay here. I needed to get my ass out of Richmond.”

“You can stay as long as you need. But we’ll work some of that city right outta ya.” He laughed, and then threw me a pair of gloves. “These will help with the blisters.”

I sure never thought my life would come to this. Living in podunk Missouri on a f*cking farm. This wasn’t part of my plan. But my plan had been totally screwed.

I had just finished my shoveling when Uncle Jake yelled at me from outside. I walked out and he threw me the keys to a four-wheeler. “Let’s go. I’ll take ya on a tour.”

We started riding out through the field. Harper Farms was huge. I didn’t realize how big twenty-thousand acres really was. I mean it sounded big, but this was crazy. And, so many cows. I had never seen this many cows in my entire life. I didn’t think the entire state of California had as many cows as the Harper’s had. They had a ton of horses too, but they were mostly up by the horse barn.

I had to admit it, this place was beautiful. It was so serene. Didn’t I need that now? After everything that happened before I left home. Yes - the answer was yes. This was exactly what I needed. I needed to get away and not think about anything for a while.

Uncle Jake stopped and motioned for me to come over his way. “We’re gonna have to fix this up. The herd could get out.” He was pointing at a piece of fence that had been knocked down.

“Just tell me what I need to do,” I told him as he grabbed some tools and wire and we started fixing it up.

Soon, I heard another four-wheeler coming up behind us. I figured it was one of the farmhands, so I didn’t turn around. Uncle Jake turned to me and said, “Be on your best behavior. The boss is here.”

When I turned around, and saw her, I immediately thought, Oh shit! This couldn’t be happening. I was trying to get away from stuff. I couldn’t be starting anything up, but damn, she was beautiful. Long blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail, tight blue jeans, and a red Waylon Jennings t-shirt. Shit.

Uncle Jake tried to introduce me to her, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. I walked over to her. She said something to me and I grunted at her, and then headed back to the fence. I knew I was rude. I came off as a total ass. But that was the way it had to be. A hot ass country woman was the last thing I needed right now.



Loralei



After my run-in with Jaxon and Jake, I headed back to my parent’s house. All I could think about was the way Jaxon had looked at me. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I had never had thoughts about another man like that. All I could think about were those tattoos on Jaxon’s arms. I blushed and bit my lower lip, holding back my smile, as I thought about bouncing a quarter of his ass.

What in the world had come over me? I was becoming one of those sex crazed women. That was so unlike me. There was just something about Jaxon that made me well, want to lick his face. Oh my god! I wanted to lick his face. Something was definitely not right with me.

Thank goodness, I wouldn’t have to spend much time with him. I didn’t think I could stand being close to him, when I was having all of these thoughts about him. The only other man I had ever thought about like that was Declan. Sigh, Declan. How could I think about another man like that?

Yep, something wasn’t right. I needed to talk to Emma about this.

I picked up the phone and dialed her number. “Ems, something’s wrong with me.”

“What’s going on, Lor?”

“I just met Jake’s nephew, Jaxon. He’s going to be working here for a bit.” I described him to her, and then said, “I want to lick his face.” I immediately regretted saying those words. That was Emma’s catch phrase.

Every time she saw a hot guy, she would scream, “I wanna lick his face!” I didn’t say things like that, though. Jaxon was making me think and say all kinds of things I didn’t normally do. There was just something about him that made me feel tingly. His tattoos and piercings were so different to me. We didn’t see things like that in Kipton. And those muscles - wow!

Emma started screaming at the top of her lungs, “Oh my god, finally! I have never been so happy, Lor! You’re having feelings for a man! Finally, you wanna lick someone’s face and hopefully other body parts too.”

That last statement embarrassed me to death. I could feel my cheeks warming up and I knew they were turning a dark crimson. “Ems, I do, but I’m not going to do anything about it. You know I can’t be with someone like that.” Or someone at all.

Emma spent the next fifteen minutes explaining the benefits of sex to me. She informed me that I didn’t have to marry him; I could just have a fling and get it out of my system. Then, I could marry some nice, safe local guy. She was sure there were tons of men around who wanted to marry me. I was pretty sure she was crazy, but I let her keep her delusions.

Of course, I had been asked out before, but every time I went out with someone, it always ended the same way, with me thinking about Declan. My feelings for him were so strong, that I wasn’t able to move past them.

I hadn’t really even kissed any other man, but Declan. Honestly, I never thought I could. Now that I had met Jaxon maybe I could. Something about him made me want to know what his lips would feel like against mine.

I couldn’t think about him anymore. I just wanted to enjoy my afternoon in peace. It was so nice to have the house to myself. Uncle Max and Aunt Louise had taken the kids into town for their weekly movie and ice cream outing, so I had the whole afternoon to myself. What to do? A bath...that sounded heavenly.

I started the water and decided to add a little of the lilac scented bubble bath Ems gave me for my birthday. The water was warm and causing the mirror to steam up. The entire room smelled of lilacs...heavenly.

I took off my clothes and slid down into the warm water. It felt so good. I could feel the tension slipping out of my shoulders. I was becoming so relaxed. I really needed this, especially after my run-in with Jaxon today. I also needed the large glass of wine I had brought with me. Not to mention the glass I had before I had the wonderful idea to take this bath.

As I was soaking my mind started wandering. I started thinking about Declan. Thinking about that night we spent together. How it felt when he made love to me. I closed my eyes and gently caressed my breasts. I could feel him touching me. I could feel his lips kissing my neck. His fingers were massaging my breasts. He was kissing me lower and lower...this was new. Declan hadn’t done this when we made love.

In my fantasy I could hear Declan whisper, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I love you.” I was touching myself, imagining Declan. My breathing was labored, little moans were escaping my lips, and just as I was about to explode with pleasure, the face in my fantasy changed. It was no longer Declan, it was Jaxon. He was touching me. His mouth was kissing me. His fingers were on my breasts. I screamed and jumped up so fast that I slipped and just barely caught myself before I fell out of the tub.

I wrapped myself in a towel and ran into my bedroom. I sat down on the bed and tried to figure out why that happened. What was wrong with me? Why was I thinking about him like that? I had always only thought of Declan in that way. I didn’t even know this man. He was making me feel something. Something that I hadn’t even thought about feeling in years. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew that I needed to stay away from Jaxon.

---------

On Sundays, my whole family attended the First Baptist Church of Kipton. Church day was the day we dressed up in our Sunday best and listened to the pastor preach. Afterwards, we would eat a big hearty lunch made by mom and Aunt Louise, while the kids played outside, weather permitting of course. Sunday was also a day of rest. That was a big rule in our family and we always abided by it.

When the kids and I walked into church, I was immediately drawn to the back pew on the left side. Jaxon and Jake were sitting there whispering when Jaxon looked over at me. Our eyes met and he quickly looked down. He looked agitated. He was fidgeting with his tie. With his white dress shirt on, all of his tattoos were covered - damn it. I shouldn’t be thinking about this man’s tattoos, especially not while I was at church. I had never even liked tattoos. I didn’t understand why his were turning my mind to mush.

I kept telling myself that I could do this. I just couldn’t look back at him. I couldn’t turn around. I suddenly started having flashbacks to the incident in the tub. I should not be thinking about stuff like that in church. I told myself. I could feel the red creep up my cheeks.

We took our place on the second row with my and Declan’s parents. I swore I could feel his eyes on me. My body was reacting to his stare. My cheeks were flushed and I started sweating. I had to fan myself with the church bulletin.

My plan was a solid one. I would stay away from Jaxon. I needed to keep enough distance between us so that I wouldn’t feel the need to lick his face or any other parts of his body. I slid down in the pew. I was so embarrassed. Oh my God - I was going to go to hell. I was having thoughts of licking a man while sitting in church sandwiched between my kids and their grandparents - yep, definitely going to hell.



Jaxon



I hadn’t been to church in years. Uncle Jake insisted that not only I go, but I wear a damn tie. I felt like a freak. I had on my black jeans, a white dress shirt, and the f*cking tie I borrowed from Uncle Jake. We walked in the church and I shuddered. Half the shit I’d done, I was surprised it didn’t burst into flames when I walked in. But I was working on that. I didn’t want to be a bad ass anymore. I wanted to be normal, or as normal as a f*cked up guy like me could be.

“Mornin’ Jake, this must be your nephew, Jaxon was it?” an older gentlemen asked Uncle Jake, while reaching his hand out to mine.

“Jaxon Daniels, nice to meet you,” I said, as I shook his hand.

“Sam Harper, and this is my wife Maggie.” He said as he gestured to a beautiful, blond woman standing next to him.

“Pleasure to meet you, Jaxon. What brings you to our little town?” Maggie asked.

I started to answer, but Uncle Jake interrupted, “Just needed to get this boy out of the big city for a little while. Ain’t that right, son?” I nodded.

“Well, Jake, I expect you and Jaxon to come over for lunch after church.” Uncle Jake started to say something and Maggie stopped him, “I won’t take no for an answer. We’ll see ya’ll right after church.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Uncle Jake said as he motioned for me to sit down on the back row with him.

The f*cking tie was still driving me crazy. “Leave it alone, son. You’re in the house of the Lord. You can take it off in a few minutes,” Uncle Jake whispered.

I nodded, but I couldn’t quit messing with it. That’s when I saw her walk in. Damn, she looked amazing. Our eyes met for just a minute. She was blushing and I smiled, thinking, I did that. I watched her and her kids walk up and sit down with her parents and another older couple. I wasn’t sure who they were, but they were spoiling the hell out of those kids, so I assumed they were they’re grandparents too.

I couldn’t quit staring at her. If I wasn’t going to hell before, I sure was now. I shouldn’t be thinking about the things I was thinking about doing to her, while we were in church. I noticed she was sweating a little and still blushing. I thought maybe she was having some of the same thoughts about me.

She finally kinda slid down in the pew. Wasn’t she cute? She actually thought she could hide from me. When I wanted something, I got it. I could see right now that I was in trouble.

After church, we went to the Harper’s house for lunch. I was pretty excited about it. I had been really nervous this morning. I had never been much of a people person. So, the thought of spending an afternoon with a bunch of people I didn’t really know, had not appealed to me until…well, it wouldn’t be so bad to spend the afternoon around Loralei.

Trying really hard not to make eye contact with anyone, I walked through the front door. She was standing in the kitchen looking even sexier than she had earlier. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her.

I started at her toes, which were painted light pink, and headed up, and up, until I got to her breasts. Then my eyes stopped. Wow! I was in so much trouble with this one. Finally, I made it to her eyes. Shit! She’d caught me staring. She blushed again. I was beginning to really love that blush.

Uncle Jake grabbed me by the arm and started walking me toward the living room. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, son.” He whispered, once we were out of earshot.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I couldn’t even look him in the eye. He knew, that I knew, exactly what he meant.

“That girl’s had a hell of a time. She don’t need any shit. If you ain’t serious, you stay away, kay?”

That was that. I needed to stop this shit right now. I had enough baggage without taking on someone else’s.



Loralei



Sunday dinner at my parent’s house after church was our weekly tradition. Their home was the largest and oldest on the property. The house was a two-story farmhouse. They had completely remodeled it a few years ago. It was similar to mine, only much bigger. It was painted a beautiful buttercup yellow with white shutters. Each window had a flower box filled with bright flowers, mostly purple tulips, because that was mine and my mom’s favorite color. The long winding drive was lined with apple trees. The kids loved to pick those apples, and the trees always smelled so good. I had many amazing memories of this house. It would always be my home.

I didn’t know why I was surprised when Jake and Jaxon walked in today. Of course my mom invited them. She was too nice sometimes. She couldn’t have Jaxon and Jake sitting at home while we were eating a good ole home-cooked meal.

Jaxon had removed his tie and rolled his sleeves up, and I finally got a closer look at his tattoos. They were so intricate; all I could think about was running my hands over his arms. I wanted to look at them up close and personal, but I could never do that. So, I decided I would just admire them from across the room.

I was standing in the kitchen when I caught Jaxon as his eyes looked me up and down, lingering just a little bit longer than they should have on my breasts. When our eyes met, the stare lingered, before I broke it by looking away. I may not have been the most beautiful woman, but I had to admit my body wasn’t bad.

Jaxon’s eyes lingered on my DD’s, and it took me back to the night Declan died. The way he was so enamored with them when we made love. I chuckled out loud as I remembered him lying beside me and just staring at them. My chuckle was quickly followed by a tear. I still couldn’t think about that night without crying. I hoped no one noticed, but I saw Jaxon’s face, and I knew he did. He must’ve thought I was crazy. Maybe he only thought I was a normal hormonal crazy woman. I could only hope.

We had sat down at the table when Sammy walked over to Jaxon and said, “Mister, what’s that thing on your face?” He pointed at his eyebrow piercing. I immediately cringed. Why, oh why, did my little man always feel the need to play twenty questions with strangers? I would never forget the time he asked the gentleman selling Shih Tzu puppies on the square downtown if their name meant they “shit” all the time. I tried so hard not to laugh at that one. He definitely had inherited his dad’s sense of humor.

Jaxon looked a little startled by my son. “It’s a ring. I have my eyebrow pierced.”

Sammy countered with, “Why would you do a thing like that?”

“Because I wanted to have my eyebrow pierced, kid.”

Sammy looked like he was really thinking hard about something. “Do you have your penis pierced too?” Holy hell, my son had not just asked that question. I was just praying that someone would wake me up from this horrible nightmare, but no, no they didn’t. It happened, and I needed to fix it, but all I really wanted to do was crawl under the dining room table and die of embarrassment. I was trying really hard to pick my jaw up off of the floor.

All of the conversations around the room ended. Everyone was staring at me as if to say “do something now.”

Jaxon looked over at me with a sexy grin. He winked and told my son, “I don’t really think we should talk about penises at the dinner table, little man.”

That wasn’t really an answer, but it was good enough to make Sammy move over to my mom, “Do we have any chocolate pie, Granny?”

My mom grabbed him and took him into the kitchen to get a piece of pie. I couldn’t look up. I could feel Jaxon staring at me again. My cheeks were on fire. I really thought I would die of embarrassment right there at the dinner table. I looked over at Jaxon, who was still grinning, and said, “Sorry about that. He’s kinda inquisitive.”

“No problem. I probably look a little a different than the guys he’s used to seeing.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just shrugged my shoulders and got up to go see what Sammy was getting into in the kitchen. After that embarrassing ordeal, the rest of lunch was pretty uneventful.

After lunch, we headed out to the pond and fished for a bit. It had always been one of my favorite places to be. Going there always brought my stress level down several notches. I loved to go to the pond in the evening. To see the moonlight glistening on the water, hear the crickets chirp, and see the fireflies sparkling. It was so soothing and serene. It was a rather large pond with a little white dock that my dad and Uncle Max built for the kids to fish off of.

The kids had a blast, and I think Jaxon did too. Nobody caught anything, but that didn’t matter, we always just threw them back anyway. Everyone was standing around, chatting, and having fun.

Jaxon helped Mags when her line got stuck in a tree. She looked like she was scared of him. I didn’t know if it was the tattoos or the piercings or just the fact that he was a stranger. Finally, he leaned over and whispered something in her ear and she smiled. Then she didn’t look so scared of him anymore. She smiled every time she looked at him.

When she came over to get a drink of iced tea from me, I asked, “Honey, you looked like you were a little scared of Jaxon. Do you think he’s scary?”

“I did, mommy, but he’s really not. He told me that Jake was his uncle, you know, like Uncle Eric is my uncle? Then he told me he was really glad he was here to help me get my line out of the tree. He’s so tall, mommy. He didn’t even hardly have to jump! Jaxon said he was sorry if his tattoos scared me.” She leaned in and whispered, “They really aren’t scary at all, mommy, they’re kinda cool. Oh, and he told me I was really pretty just like you mommy.” Then Mags looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes sparkling and said, “I think he likes you, mommy.”

Holy hell. He told my daughter I was pretty, and now she thinks he likes me. There was no way that was true. I was sure he just told Mags that so she wouldn’t be scared of him. There was no way he thought I was pretty, but he did stare at me a lot.

Watching Jaxon play with my kids was not making my thoughts about him go away. Even Sammy really liked him. And it was hard to get into Sammy’s good graces sometimes. He had a huge heart, but he loved to give people grief.

I thought I might be starting to like him a little bit too. But I couldn’t stop the feeling of guilt from rearing up. Sammy and Mags were Declan’s kids. How could I enjoy watching them have a good time with Jaxon? It felt like I was betraying Declan just by thinking about Jaxon. But to think about him being around the kids felt like I was completely betraying him.