chapter 26
A little while later, we’re bumping around inside the Jeep. I open my eyes. Rena is driving, and it takes me a second to figure out I’m sitting in the passenger seat, curled up in Will’s lap.
“You okay?” he asks. He strokes my hair, smoothing it back from my face. The worried look in his eyes scares me.
I manage a nod. My throat is still tight, and if I try to talk, I know I’ll cry.
I take stock of my body. I’m completely drained and tired and I start to realize how crazy this plan is. I’ve trained all day, and now it’s the middle of the night. Somehow after blood loss and a fresh injury, I’m supposed to run for ten days to reach safety. Scratch that, not even safety – an outpost where Rena’s heard people are friendly. There is no way I can do this. I open my mouth to tell Will to turn around and take me back to the dorm, but the Jeep rolls to a stop. We’re parked under the tree Will brought me to on our recon mission.
I remember that day; the way the late afternoon sun was streaming through the leaves, the way Will carefully explained his plan for my escape, and the way he looked at me with complete trust in my ability to do this.
I can’t let him down. Not now. Not after he’s put this plan together, endangered himself, performed surgery on me … I can’t back down now. I have to follow through. Besides, how could I explain the gash in my arm and my missing chip? I swallow down my doubts and pick my head up to look around.
The moon is brilliant blue and full tonight, and I realize even in the darkness, I can see everything with perfect clarity. It feels like a sign – there’s a beacon of light to guide me through the darkness. I hope my mother is at the window watching the moon tonight, thinking of me. I know thoughts of her will help me get through the night.
At first I thought it was completely insane that she and Dr. Elway, my dad, had fallen in love. I didn’t see how anyone could have a relationship in this environment. But after Will, it’s easier than I ever realized. When people are thrust into life or death situations together, the strong learn how to survive, how to flourish despite their surroundings. This was never more evident than in the case of my mom and dad, Sam and Jake, and Will and me. I hope Sam and Jake are together, wherever they are.
It’s so warm and safe in Will’s arms; I don’t want to move, but I know they’re both getting anxious with me out here in the night. We need to get moving. I make a move to get up, but Will’s arms hold me in place against him. “Rena.” He nods, and she climbs down from the Jeep, giving us a moment of privacy. I curl my body even tighter into his, making myself small, letting myself feel tiny and weak once more before I need to summon every ounce of strength I have. His arms are locked tight around me – my cocoon – and I’d give anything not to leave it.
Will presses a single kiss to my temple, then pulls back and looks at me. “You have to go, Eve.”
I nod and look away from him so he won’t see my tear-filled eyes. I climb down from the Jeep and meet Rena where she’s crouched by the trunk of the tree, concealing herself in the shadows.
Will brings my backpack over and helps me into it. It’s heavier than I expected and when I remember my wrist and the blood loss, my knees feel weak. I push the thought away. The sooner I go, the sooner Will and I can be reunited. I have no choice but to believe this is true.
Rena scans the stretch of fence, her eyes squinting to see in the distance. She points to the boulder at the edge of the fence. “There’s a dug out trench under the fence, just over there. Keep going west, day and night until you reach them.”
I swallow. Will stands by my side and finds my hand in the darkness. He gives it a squeeze. “And you’ll come for me in a few days?”
“I will do everything in my power to come for you,” he says. He cradles my face in his large, warm hands and kisses my forehead. But both of us know very little is within our control at this place. I hate the uncertainty that hangs between us, but I take a step back from him and Rena.
Then I remember Rena in all of this and pull her into a hug. “Thank you for helping me. You didn’t have to do this, any of this.” I know she’s also risked her life, and suddenly I have no idea why. She hardly even knows me. I’m nobody to her.
“It’s not just for you, it’s for all of us, Eve. If you get away, and I know you will …” She smiles. “Then we are winning. We are still free.”
I don’t know how in the course of a few weeks I’ve become someone I don’t even recognize – a soldier taking on the corrupt government, but I can’t find the words to argue with her. I understand what I must do. I nod solemnly and step away from her.
When I meet Will’s eyes again, my body moves toward him of its own accord. He crushes me against him, backpack and all, and kisses me deeply. It sends my senses spinning. His mouth is hard against mine, yet his tongue is soft and exploring. My heart clenches and though I don’t want to leave him, I know I have no other choice.
A few seconds later, Rena clears her throat, and Will breaks the kiss. My lips are still tingling and damp, and I press them together. I savor one last look at Will, his stormy, grey-blue eyes and without another word, I jog for the fence.
The entire run to the fence, I’m convinced gun fire will rain down on me any second, and my back tingles with anticipation of feeling the first blows. But it’s startlingly quiet. The only sounds are my feet, tramping through the dry grass, the backpack bumping against my back and my breath that comes in deliberate puffs.
I reach the black boulder and have the urge to look back, but I don’t. I scramble to my hands and knees and crawl toward the opening at the bottom of the fence that’s been dug away. It’s a tiny opening, barely big enough for me to get through. I stop and remove the backpack and stuff it under the opening. Then I lower myself onto my belly and shimmy and kick my way under the fence.
I feel the metal tines rake across my back, and bite my lip to keep from crying out. My back stings where the fence has clawed at my skin. I wrench myself forward and can’t go any farther. I’m stuck. I back up a few inches and then thrust myself forward again. The fence isn’t going to let me go so easy. What kind of cruel world is this, that I could survive the most brutal of attacks, yet I couldn’t make it through the one obstacle we were never meant to get through? I grip my fingers into the earth in front of me, my nails raking into the dirt, and I pull with all my strength. My shirt gives away with a tear. I pull myself the rest of the way through the fence and stand on the other side.
It is completely disorienting looking at Will and Rena from this side of the fence. It doesn’t feel free or liberating. It just feels wrong. Very wrong. My stomach recoils at what I’ve done. Surely I will be struck down any moment, taken away and made to pay for my crimes. But the night is utterly silent. The moon glows as bright as ever. I swear I see the hint of smile on Will’s face. I turn away from them and run.