chapter 28
I wake with a gasp and try to sit up, but hands on my shoulders push me back down. I open my eyes, but it’s too dark to see. I try to yell, but my voice won’t obey. I manage a weak rasp.
“Shh. Shh,” a woman’s voices soothes. Her face comes into focus. Long silver braids hang down in front of my face. Her eyes are endless pools of worry looking down on me. “Rest,” she whispers and pushes my shoulders back against the bed.
“Where am I?” I croak.
“You’re in the wilderness.”
Her words make my head spin. I have no memory of the last several days, but somehow, against all odds, I’ve made it. I nearly cry with joy. “Who are you?” I ask, my voice unsteady.
“My name is Sage.”
She hums as she works, and peels my stiff, dirty clothes from my body. She doesn’t even bother pulling my shirt over my head; instead I feel her cutting it off me. She brings a steaming cloth to my face and scrubs at my cheeks with steady pressure. When she wipes down the rest of me, I can’t muster the energy to feel embarrassed that a complete stranger is bathing me.
After I’m clean, she anoints my many insect bites with salve, and my heart clenches with memories of Will. Now that I’ve made it – I know he can, too. He is much stronger, much more experienced than me. I remember the smell of mint medication, the taste of chestnuts, the feel of his hand in mine and drift into sleep.
***
It’s three days before I can sit up in bed and look at the room around me. It’s a small one-room cabin with a wood stove in the corner, a table with two mismatched chairs and one bed – the bed I’ve been sleeping in. I notice a mound of blankets on the floor and feel guilty for taking Sage’s bed, especially given her generosity.
She notices I’m up and comes to my side. She looks over the bandage on my wrist. I can tell I make her nervous, with my tattoo and my sliced open arm, but she doesn’t ask any questions, which is good, because I’m not ready to answer them yet.
The next time I wake up, it’s dark out again. Sage is sitting by the fire knitting. It’s her humming that woke me, I realize.
“What are you making?” I ask.
She startles at my voice. “Heavens – I thought you were out cold.” She stands and walks to the side of the bed. She dangles a half-made stocking cap from the end of her knitting needle for me to see. “Are you feeling up for something to eat?”
My stomach groans at the mention of food. I nod.
She goes to the fire and ladles a cup full of steaming broth into a mug. My mouth waters in anticipation of something warm to fill my stomach.
She sets it on the table beside the bed. “Let it cool,” she says, reading the disappointment on my face. “So what brings you here, Eve?”
I flinch. I don’t remember telling her my name.
“You were talking in your sleep,” she explains at my reaction. It seems unlikely that I’d said my own name, but I let it go. “You had to be pretty desperate to do this to yourself.” She lifts my hand, inspecting my wrist. After looking the bandage over, she lays it carefully back by my side.
I don’t explain that I didn’t do it to myself, but my mind flashes back to the supply closet, the look of concentration on Will’s face and passing out when I saw all the blood.
Sage distracts me from the memory. “It was quite infected when you got here. We seem to have gotten it under control. Kai’s been here nearly every day to tend to you.”
I’m not sure who Kai is, but I mumble a thank you. Rena was right about them being friendly here, but still, I’m not sure what to tell her – how honest to be. She helps me sit up and hands me the cup of broth. For several minutes, I savor the feel of the warm mug in my hands and the salty burn of the watery broth sliding down my throat. I decide she can probably be trusted since she’s already harboring a Defect in her house. I drink the mugful of broth, and Sage refills it. Then I tell her my story.
I tell her about my mindscan result, and that I quickly became a target inside the compound. I don’t tell her about the capital’s interest in me, or the movement that was starting there, or that I escaped the night before they planned to kill me. It seems like too much to lead in with.
Her eyes are a mix of concern and confusion. “You came all that way by yourself?”
I nod. She’s speechless. Either because I’m stupid or amazing, I can’t tell. Maybe a little of both?
“My …” I don’t know what to call him. “Friend,” I decide. “He’s coming, too. He’ll be a few days behind me.” As soon as I say it, I realize I’ve already been here a few days. And suddenly, I don’t like the way she’s looking at me. It’s a mix of pity and sadness. She breaks eye contact, ducking her head to pull at a loose thread on the blanket. “Sage?” She doesn’t respond. “If Will said he would come for me, he’ll come,” I say, more to convince myself than her.
“Of course he will,” she says softly, her voice full of knowing sadness. “Of course.” She pats the top of my hand.
My whole being aches, not just my body, but also my heart, my very soul. They have taken everything I am. They’ve found a way to use every emotion I have against me. I remember my mother’s words: They can only take what you give them. I search for a way to make her advice apply to this situation, just like it had for all the others. I knew what I’d never let them take – what I wouldn’t part with. My love for Will.
I lie back against the pillow, my stomach full of the warm broth and close my eyes. I drift to sleep with the memory of Will’s lips pressed to mine.
***
End of Part 1
Part II
Lips that taste of tears are the best for kissing.
- Unknown
His lips hover over mine, tentatively, carefully like he’s unsure and waiting to see what I think. My mind, even in its numb state, registers something’s wrong. His mouth seals over mine calmly, carefully. The fire I’m used to is missing. Completely gone. Taken from me. Everything has changed. And I fear it will never be the same again.