“I need to go,” I murmur. She looks at me perplexed. “I can’t watch the plane leave. There’s no way I can.”
Reanell nods in understanding. It’s one thing for me to be here to see him off, but watching his plane take off, that goes beyond my limit. I’ve tried in the last hour to put myself back to what I used to be. The military wife in me is rusty, and I know I need to dig deeper. I need to be the strong, silent partner and keep his mind as free as I can. It’s one of the parts I loathed. Being angry or upset, but needing to be happy and cheery when they call.
I learned very quickly how to mask my feelings and all the things that went wrong when Aaron was gone. I had to be a somewhat less creepy version of a Stepford wife.
I smile as I unlock the door to Robin. I sit in the driver’s seat and find myself grinning. He drove her here, so I get to drive her home. My eyes close as I inhale deeply. It smells of Liam, and if I try hard enough, I can almost feel him here.
“Okay, Robin . . . let’s see why he’s so protective of you,” I say to the car and decide I need therapy.
I look over at the passenger seat and there’s a note with a rose. I smile and try not to break down in tears.
Sweetheart,
You have my heart and now you have my car. Take care of both until I get home.
Love,
Liam
A small laugh escapes me as I start the car. The drive back to my house is a blur. I try to focus on the joy that awaits me. I haven’t seen Aarabelle in seventy-two hours, and I missed her desperately.
I open the door and she looks up. “Mamama!” she calls out and my heart swells with love.
“Hi, baby girl!” I call out and rush toward her. I scoop her in to my arms and nestle her close. “I missed you so much.”
“Hey,” Aaron’s voice is low and gruff. “You okay?”
I turn, wondering if he’s being serious or sarcastic. I decide serious. “I’m okay, thanks.” The small act of kindness means a lot to me. This is the Aaron I always tried to remember.
“The team get off okay?”
“Yeah,” I smile.
Aaron shifts his weight as Aarabelle pushes against me to get down. “Good. I’m glad.” He looks away awkwardly, and my chest hurts. This is hard for him, and I wish it didn’t have to be. It’s hard for me too if I’m being honest.
None of these issues are easy for anyone. It really sucks being an adult.
“How was she?” I ask, looking at her as she runs over to her toys.
He smiles and gazes at her. “She was great. Your parents left about an hour ago. They said they needed to get on the road. She’s amazing, Lee. You did such a good job with her.”
I try to fight the tears, but they come flooding forward. Between Liam’s farewell and then this . . . it’s too much. “I’m sorry,” I say trying to gain control.
Aaron’s arms are around me in a heartbeat. “It’ll be okay,” he comforts me, and I push back gently.
“Aaron,” I pause, “You don’t have to comfort me. This isn’t fair to you. I’m so sorry.”
I shouldn’t be crying in his arms. I won’t be that girl. This is no place for the weak. My emotions need to be better managed.
“I did a lot of thinking this weekend,” Aaron says as we move toward the couch. Aarabelle lifts her block and then shows me the other ones.
“Yeah?” I ask, watching my daughter in admiration.
“I realized how bad I fucked up. Lying to you, cheating on you, it isn’t the way it was supposed to be.”
This isn’t exactly the conversation I feel like we’ve been having lately. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I get it. I sat here this weekend knowing you were with him, and it fucked with my head. But if I didn’t know and thought you were on some girls’ weekend or something and found out, I’d kill someone.”
I sigh and wish this could’ve waited a little, but it’s the first time I feel he’s being sincerely honest. “The issue was the lies. You lied about Brittany. You lied about the baby, and then you went so far as to tell me it was a one-time thing. That’s not the man I loved. You and I had issues, big issues . . . but they weren’t something we couldn’t have tackled. We didn’t talk though, and it cost us everything.”
Aaron looks at Aara. “She’s the best thing we ever did.”
My lips turn up as I look at the reason for my existence. “Yeah, she is.” My eyes prick in sorrow. “It’s hard for me to know you were willing to throw it all away.” I look over at him and see him nod.
“You and I fought so much. It wasn’t a good time for either of us. Do you remember how much you hated me?”
Both of our guards are down, and we owe each other the honesty. “I didn’t hate you, I just didn’t like you. You were so angry all the time. Everything I did or said turned into an argument. Right now, you love Aarabelle and for that I’m so happy, but when I found out I was pregnant with her . . . you walked out.”