Chapter Six
“Stone’s already talked this subject into the ground, Ridge, don’t you start too,” Cade growled when his brother asked about Jocelyn. He had been on his way to town to get a part for one of the tractors when Ridge had invited himself. Lately it seemed like whenever he’d found some time to himself, one of his brothers managed to bring up the subject of Jocelyn.
Ridge’s brows shot up and he threw his hands up in mock innocence. “I was only inquiring if you’ve had a chance to talk to her. Can’t a man ask his brother a simple question without getting his head bit off?”
Cade rolled his eyes heavenward. “Nothing is ever simple about you.”
“I was just wondering, is all. Sorry, I brought it up. Seems you get testy with every little thing lately.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t be this way if people got off my damn back. I know what a jerk I was at dinner the other night but give me a f*cking break. Do you think I need to hear about it every hour of the day? It’s bad enough I could barely look Jack in the eye when we were talking about that new Arabian foal.”
“You only have yourself to blame for that. Stone told me what you said to him
and—”
“Of course he did. Why else would you volunteer to ride along with me when I’m on my way to pick up a tractor part—that was small enough for me to not require assistance lifting?”
Ridge grinned sheepishly. “Thought you might have needed the company?”
Cade clenched and unclenched his jaw. His brother was more transparent than a cotton tee in a wet T-shirt contest. “That’s funny considering you mentioned you’d be helping Decker most of the day.”
“Well…uh.” He adjusted his Stetson. “He can do without me for an hour or two. Besides, is it a crime for a man to want to spend time with his little brother?”
“If I believed your bullshit for a second, I’d say no, but we both know you had an ulterior motive for riding along with me. I’ve had to endure your small talk on the way to Walt’s when all I really wanted was a little time to myself.” Cade was relieved to see the entrance to the ranch coming up. He wouldn’t have to put up with his brother’s meddling questions much longer.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t a deterrent for Ridge. “Okay, maybe I did tag along for reasons other than what I’ve given but I wouldn’t have, if I wasn’t concerned.”
It was a phase he was getting mighty sick of. If one more person told him they were “concerned,” he’d be fit to be tied. Cade pulled up by the barn and brought the truck to a halt. “While I appreciate said concern, I’m really not interested in anything you have to say that involves my personal life. I know you mean well, but please leave it alone.”
“If I could, you know I would.”
“Try.” Cade spoke through gritted teeth, sliding out of the driver’s seat and slamming the door behind him. He lifted the tractor part from the cab and strode toward the barn, completely ignoring his brother.
Ridge placed his hand on his shoulder, halting Cade in mid-stride. “Don’t walk away from me.”
Cade shrugged off the hand and continued to his destination. Once inside, he wished he would have listened to his brother because standing inside was Jocelyn, laughing at something Stone was saying. Her eyes were crinkled in at the corners and her cheeks tinted with a becoming shade of pink in her mirth. Her hair surrounded her face in a riot of loose waves that caressed her shoulders. Her yellow sundress complemented her lightly sun-kissed skin and skimmed her curves lovingly, and Cade felt his body tightening in response to how good she looked.
Jocelyn looked more animated than she had at dinner and for reasons beyond him, it annoyed Cade to see her laughing with his brother. It shouldn’t have bothered him and the knowledge pissed him off more. But hell if he could tear his gaze away from her. Damn her black heart.
He remembered the many nights they would sneak away to the pond, bathed by the moonlight, too wrapped up in each other to care if someone happened along. God, she was just as lovely as he remembered, more beautiful even. And the fact that she could still make him feel this way after all this time set his blood pressure rising, but not in a good way.
What the hell was she doing here?
He threw a glance over his shoulder at Ridge’s face to gauge his reaction. Ridge wouldn’t meet his eyes. As a matter of fact, he was bright red. Cade turned to face him then. “Did you know she’d be here?” he hissed.
“Uh, I have to run. I promised Jack I’d help him fix the hole in the bull pen.” Ridge took off before Cade could utter another word.
Cade was tempted to chase after him and beat the hell out of his brother for participating in this fraud but realized, by the gasp that met his ears, that Jocelyn was now aware of his presence. Taking a breath to calm his frazzled nerves, he slowly turned to face the wide-eyed beauty. It was apparent by the shock radiating from her and the stiffening of her body; she was just as surprised as he was by this ambush.
Stone grinned, not bothering to hide his duplicity. “I think I need to go check on Magic and see how she’s doing. I’ll catch you later, Jossy. I’m sure you two kids have a lot to talk about.” At least the bastard could have tried to make it less obvious.
Cade was tempted to trip his brother as he walked past him, but suppressed the urge—just barely. Smug sonofabitch.
This was a confrontation he’d wanted to put off for as long as he possibly could, but now that it was here, there was no backing down. Besides, he wanted to show Jocelyn he didn’t give a damn about her or anything concerning her.
She wrung her hands in front of her, eyeing the exit. “I-I think I should leave. You probably have something to do,” she murmured before sidestepping him. As she was about to walk away, he caught a whiff of her sweet perfume. It was the same scent that used to drive him wild years ago.
It surprised him that it was still her scent of choice. After all, she’d chosen a different life. Why wasn’t she wearing some designer French concoction? She had no right to wear that particular brand of fragrance and she had no right to look so good he wanted to throw her on the ground and f*ck her bowlegged. It angered him. Furthermore, why was she acting so skittish around him when she was the one who’d done him wrong?
“What’s the rush, Jos Song? Looks like Stone and Ridge did a great deal of plotting to set up this meeting, we may as well get this over with.”
She stiffened and ran her tongue over her lips. Cade knew she’d done it more from nerves than to entice him, but the subtle motion still created a hornet’s nest of desire, and he didn’t like it one single bit. Why after all this time was he so affected by her? It would be a testament to his will to get through this conversation without making a fool of himself.
The flash of red tinting her cheeks told him she wasn’t so indifferent to him either. Perhaps he was no longer good enough for her, but the chemistry flowing between the two of them was stronger than ever.
“I-I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” she denied, yanking her arm from his grasp.
He quirked his lips to a half smile. “I realize you don’t. Seems like we’re the victims of a rather nasty prank.”
She frowned, still looking over his shoulder toward the door. “What do you mean?”
“My brothers have been trying to get me to talk to you since you’ve been back. Looks like they’re willing to resort to trickery to make that happen.”
Jocelyn wouldn’t meet his gaze. She bowed her head as though whatever was on the ground that she was looking at was fascinating. “Why would they do that?”
He scratched the back of his head, his gaze never leaving her face. Whoever said the hardest words to say were “I’m sorry” wasn’t kidding. “They seem to think I owe you an apology.”
Her head shot up then. Large eyes searched his face as though trying to gauge his sincerity. She nibbled her bottom lip, giving herself a look of vulnerability that tempted him to wrap his arms around her and make things better. But then he remembered her callousness and the moment passed.
After what seemed like a long moment, she lowered her head again and kicked at a lump of dirt resting beneath her feet. “You don’t owe me anything, Cade.” She sighed. “I have to go. I promised Aunt Earlene I’d stop by later.”
He grabbed her wrist, preventing her from going past him. If he didn’t get the words out now, he never would. “I’m sorry, Jocelyn,” he blurted out before she could walk away from him.
The look of astonishment dwelling in those lovely almond-shaped eyes of hers was evident. He’d even shocked himself, but the words needed saying. She shook her head with fierce vehemence. “No, Cade. Don’t apologize.”
“Why shouldn’t I? I ruined a perfectly good dinner because of my big mouth. It’s the least I could do. And…you didn’t deserve that treatment. No matter what happened between us, I shouldn’t have embarrassed you the way I did.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your apology. But you can let go of my arm now.” She tugged it out of his grip.
“Don’t walk away. Please.” Cade didn’t know what compelled him to say those words but he knew he wanted her close to him a little while longer.
“Was there anything else you wanted?”
“No, I don’t want you to think there will be a repeat performance of what I did.”
She crossed her arms over her body. “Okay. Was that all?”
Why was she acting like a skittish colt taking its first steps? “I have a hellava temper sometimes. And I just want you to know I’ll be on my best behavior when you’re around. Maybe we can even say hello in passing.” Damn she smelled good. He tried to ignore the temperature rising inside of him. Her nearness did the damndest things to his equilibrium.
“But I understand why you did it, and it’s no more than I deserve. I should have let you down easier.”
Cade narrowed his eyes. “But the result would have been the same. You wanted things to be over between us.”
“True. But I thought you’d prefer the more direct approach than me beating around the bush. It might have been easier to swallow.”
“You think?”
She took a step backward. “I could have worded things a little differently.”
“So you didn’t think I was some backwoods hick who wouldn’t fit into your new life?”
“I didn’t say that, Cade.”
“You might as well have. It’s what you said in so many words anyway, isn’t it? You believed I wasn’t good enough for you.”
Jocelyn broke eye contract. Her lower lip trembled. “It was the right thing to do. You wouldn’t have fit in and I wanted to be someone. I didn’t think that was possible if I came back to the ranch. I was probably harsher than I should have been. You still deserved better.”
All the old hurts came rearing up again at her reminder. He twisted his lips in irony. “Damn right about that, but the past is exactly that: the past. I’m not here to dredge up what happened seven years ago, I care about what I did to you the other night, and that’s what I’m apologizing for. But just because I’m sorry, don’t think I’ve forgotten what you’ve done—what you’ve said, because as far as I’m concerned the Jocelyn I once knew is dead to me.” She flinched at his words, almost as if she cared, but Cade didn’t buy it for a minute. “I figure since you’re going to be here until your dad’s wedding, chances are we’ll cross paths again. I reckon we can at least be cordial to one another.”
She nodded silently. Her shoulders sagged and she still wouldn’t look at him. Why was she acting like the injured party when she was the one to tear his heart to tiny shreds? “For what it’s worth, Cade, what happened all that time ago, wasn’t a reflection on you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Her eyes met his finally with a suspicious sheen of moisture in them. “I know I hurt you, but the things I said, they weren’t personal. It was more to do with me and not you.”
Cade snorted. “Weren’t personal? You just confirmed what you’d meant all those years ago from your own pretty little lips. Telling me I wasn’t good enough for you, and you’d outgrown me wasn’t personal? Saying you couldn’t see yourself wasting your life away at this ‘dull as dishwater’ ranch. You knew how much this place means to me. It’s my life and my livelihood and it was a slap in my face to hear you say that. It was like you shit on everything that was important to me—this ranch, and our love. How could I not take it personal? If you’ve suddenly developed a conscience about what you said and how you basically turned your back on all of your family and friends, then forget about it. We were doing just fine without you and will continue to do so when you’ve gone back to living the glamorous life with all of your fancy friends. And don’t think I didn’t recognize that friend of yours. I may be from a podunk town, as you put it, but I’m not so oblivious to the world around me that I can’t recognize a famous celebrity when I see one. Just tell your friend not to pull any of her antics here, or guest of yours or not, she’s out of here.”
Jocelyn’s face turned a bright shade of red as she balled her fists at her side. “You don’t even know her to judge her. Most of that stuff in the news is false,” she said through clenched teeth.
“Like the wild parties and the infamous temper tantrums? How about how she tossed her poor mother aside and then later did the same to her husband—oh wait, I doubt someone like you would see anything wrong with that because people are disposable to you, aren’t they?”
Jocelyn briefly tightened her lips. “So much for being cordial.”
She had a point but his temper had gotten the better of him. Again. “Oh, give me a f*cking break. There you go acting like the innocent again. You bat those eyes and think I’ll fall at your feet again.”
“That isn’t true!”
“Oh?” He took a step closer to her. “Then you expect me to simply smile when you pretend what you said didn’t hurt me? I think you did want me to suffer or you wouldn’t have said the things you did. I can deal with you being here for however long you decide to stick around this time, but let there be no pretence between us. Admit what a selfish scheming bitch you are and we’ll call it a day.”
“Stop it.” The words flowed from her lips no louder than a whisper, but it was as if a devil had gotten into Cade and was riding him. All the anger and pain he’d never been allowed to express until now came tumbling out in full force and there was no holding back.
“Why the hell should I? You were all about telling it like it was seven years ago? What’s the matter, babe, don’t like to hear about the damage you wrought?”
“Stop it!” she said more forcefully this time.
“No!”
Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh I don’t? Did I imagine it when you said all those things to me?”
“I don’t have to listen to this.” Jocelyn attempted to sidestep him, but Cade was too quick for her. Grabbing her by the forearm, he hauled Jocelyn against his body.
“There’s where you’re wrong goddammit! You’re going to stand there and listen to me. You at least owe me that, after all, you had your say and never gave me mine.”
“You said you wanted us to be cordial,” she squeaked. A desperate gleam entered her eyes and Jocelyn began to shake as she looked from left to right as if she was looking for someone to come to her rescue.
“Scared, Jocelyn? You should be. There was a time when I wouldn’t have dreamed of harming one hair on that gorgeous head of yours but lately I’ve been having fantasies about wringing your pretty little neck.”
A large tear drop tumbled from the corner of her eye, ran down her cheek and plopped onto her collar bone. There was a time when seeing her cry would have tore at his heart and it annoyed the hell out of him that nothing had changed. He was sure she was doing it on purpose to manipulate him. “Save your tears for one of the other saps willing to fall for your tricks.”
“Cade,” she croaked. “I’m sorry, I…I…hurt you…but you…have to let me go,” Jocelyn gasped the words out as if she was having trouble breathing.
He was beyond caring about her obvious panic. “What’s the matter, darling? Can dish it out but can’t take it? So tell me, what kind of man does a sophisticated lady like yourself go for? Do those other men fulfill you better than I did? Can they make you come with just their fingers and tongue the way I could? Do they know the spots to touch or how to get your p-ssy so wet you gush?”
“Stop!” she screamed.
“Perhaps you’ve acquired some skills in the city you could teach a country boy like me,” he went on as if she hadn’t spoken.
Jocelyn began to struggle in earnest, but Cade was beyond the point of caring. All he could focus on was his desire to hurt her like she had hurt him.
Cade lowered his head and smashed his lips against hers. He wanted to punish her for every single night he’d lain awake wondering what he could have done differently to make her stay, or how he’d compared every woman he’d had to her. To transfer to her, the gut-wrenching ache he still lived with. Though he’d tried to deny this woman didn’t affect him, he was lying to himself.
Jocelyn still had the power to bring him to his knees with a simple blink of an eyelash. What started as his need to punish her became so much more. His cock jumped to life and he ground his hardness against her thigh. Shoving his tongue past her slightly parted lips, he nearly exploded right then and there to be reacquainted with the sweet taste of her.
His hands slid down her back to cup the soft swell of her bottom, bringing his pelvis against hers. He was on fire for her, yet, something wasn’t quite right. Something was different. What was it? She still smelled like sweet jasmine, and tasted like wild honey and a unique flavor all her own. Her body was as soft as he remembered, a little thinner but basically the same.
Suddenly, it hit him. She wasn’t responding. Instead, she stood frozen within the circle of his arms. His dick went limp in an instant and he broke away from her with a shove, sending her stumbling back.
Jocelyn barely avoided landing on her butt. Instead of yelling at or hitting him as he surely deserved, she stared at him wide-eyed and open mouthed, her fists clenched tightly against her chest and her body trembling.
Cade felt lower than a snake’s belly. He’d never in his life manhandled a woman. Raised to protect those weaker and smaller than himself, a wave of disgust tore through him the likes of nothing he’d ever experienced. Jocelyn didn’t deserve this, despite the suffering he believed she’d caused.
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Too ashamed to even look her in the eye, he turned on his heel and got the hell out of the barn. Fixing the tractor was long forgotten.