Chapter Two
Cade brushed Sugar’s chestnut coat with steady strokes, trying hard to maintain focus on his task. Frustration ate at him with each passing second but there wasn’t a damn thing to do about it. Somehow he’d have to figure out how to get through these next several weeks without going crazy.
When the mare whinnied, tossing her dark mane from side to side to signal her displeasure, he realized he was being too rough. Rubbing her nose in an appeasing gesture, he attempted to soothe her. “I’m sorry, girl. I guess I have a lot on my mind. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
Sugar snorted as if to say there was no excuse. Cade grinned. She was a true diva. At least the animals never changed. “I guess you’re not going to let me off so easily, huh?” He reached into his pocket and produced a sugar cube, which she quickly gobbled from his hand. She nudged him slightly with the tip of her nose.
Cade chuckled. “So all’s forgiven?”
The horse snorted. Good ole’ Sugar. She never let him down.
“Bribing the animals again I see? It’s no wonder they give anyone else who wants to groom them a hard time.”
Cade didn’t bother turning to greet his brother when he entered the stable. He knew what was coming and didn’t have the patience to be bothered. He’d been avoiding Stone like the plague these past several days. “Don’t you have anything better to do than stalk me?”
“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t hightail it out of a room whenever I enter it.”
“Maybe there’s a reason for that.”
“I never figured you for a coward, little brother.”
“When I want a personal assessment of the kind of man I am, I’ll visit a shrink.”
Stone moved closer. “You can’t hang out in here for the rest of her visit, you know.”
Cade clenched and unclenched his jaw as he resumed brushing Sugar. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Stone, and frankly I don’t have time for guessing games.”
“Bullshit. Jocelyn has been home three days now, and you’ve been hiding out in the stables, and running errands that take you off the ranch for long stretches.”
“It’s called doing my damn job. You’re making mountains out of molehills.”
“Let’s be honest here, Cade. You could easily have sent one of the men on those runs and you probably would have in most circumstances. You’re delaying the inevitable, you know. It’s only a matter of time before you two have to face each other again.”
Cade’s nostrils flared and lips tightened. What he really wanted to do was deck Stone for his interference, but he just managed to keep his temper in check. He was tired of the sympathetic looks his brothers had been shooting him since Jocelyn’s arrival. Knowing what they were thinking annoyed the hell out of him. Why were they making a big production about him seeing someone he could care less about? “Yeah, I know. What’s it to you?”
“You’ve been ornerier than a rattlesnake in a chicken coop and I for one am getting tired of walking around this place on egg shells. I talked to Decker and Ridge and they both agree with me—”
“Hold it. If I wanted to hear what the three of you were saying behind my back, I’d have asked, but as you can see I’m not interested. Why don’t you go bug someone else? As you can see I’m busy.”
“So busy you’ve been brushing that same spot. At the rate you’re going, you’re about to brush a hole into Sugar’s coat.”
Cade moved to another spot on the horse. “Satisfied?”
Stone grasped his shoulder. “We’re concerned, Cade.”
Cade shrugged off the hand and tossed the brush aside, giving up all pretense of grooming the mare. “I don’t have to stand here and listen to this shit.” When he attempted to walk away, Stone moved in front of him, blocking his way. “Move before I knock you on your ass.”
“Try it, little brother, and you just might get the whuppin’ you sorely deserve. Now would you hold up for a minute and give me a chance to speak before you storm away in a huff?”
Cade leaned against a rail in defeat. “Do I have much of a choice?”
“Nope.”
“Then get it over with,” Cade growled.
“Like I said before, we’re worried. You can’t go around pretending she’s not here. Sooner or later your paths will cross.”
There was something in the way Stone said that last statement that made Cade straighten up. Why did he get the distinct impression his brother wasn’t telling him something? “Is there something you’re not telling me that I should be aware of?”
Stone scratched the back of his head, breaking eye contact. Now Cade knew something was up. “Spill it, Stone.”
“Uh, actually, it’ll be much sooner rather than later.”
“Meaning?”
“Aunt Earlene is throwing a little dinner party in Jocelyn’s honor.”
Cade folded his arms across his chest, clenching his teeth together. He knew what was coming and he was having none of it. “Good for Aunt Earlene. So what does that have to do with me?”
Stone rolled his eyes heavenward. It was obvious he was annoyed, but Cade didn’t give a damn. So was he. He didn’t initiate this conversation nor did he want to have it. “She wants all of us there.”
“Then I’ll send my regrets. Is that all?” He made another attempt to leave, but Stone stood in his way. Cade debated on giving his brother a shove, but knew the other man wouldn’t budge without a fight. Tussling with one of his brothers never inspired much fear in him, but he wasn’t in the mood to be bothered. Besides, if he gave reign to his temper, it would only give his brothers something else to be “concerned” about. Jocelyn wasn’t worth fighting for as far as he was concerned.
“No, and you damn well know it. Would you stop being such a stubborn cuss? You frustrate the hell out of me sometimes.”
Cade snorted. “If you find me so difficult, then why not leave me alone and go nag someone else? Actually, I’d prefer it.”
“Because the good Lord decided to play a prank on me and made you my little brother. And whether you want to hear it or not, I’m nagging you, as you put it, because I love you.”
“Look, I appreciate the kind words, but I don’t care to participate in this Hallmark moment. So if you expect me to break down or share my feelings because it’s supposed to make me feel better then forget it. I have a lot of work to do which you’re preventing me from doing.”
Stone didn’t reply right away. Instead he gave him an impenetrable stare that made most people quake in their boots. Stone could outstare a mountain lion when he set his mind to it, but Cade wouldn’t back down. Returning the determined stare with one of his own Cade entered a silent battle of wills with his brother.
After the quiet stretched to an eerie amount of time, Stone finally sighed, breaking eye contact. “This is f*cking ridiculous. You’re eventually going to have to let go of all that anger you’re carrying. Maybe once you see Jocelyn, you’ll be able to get over her.”
Cade resented the hell out of that statement. Did Stone honestly think he was still pining for a woman who was probably never worthy of his love in the first place? Someone who could take a young man’s heart and crush it without a thought. “Who says I’m not already? You’re reading more into this than there is. I just don’t feel like sitting down to break bread and talk about old times that are probably best forgotten.” Cade yanked out a pack of gum from his pocket and popped a piece into his mouth, more so for something to do than wanting it.
“Doesn’t sound like you’re over her to me.”
Cade narrowed his eyes, contemplating that punch again. Just one square shot to Stone’s jaw and he’d be out of here. “Do I look like I’m concerned about what you think?”
“Would you stop being such an ass! If you’re over her as you claim, then you shouldn’t have a problem coming to dinner tonight.”
“Maybe I have better things to do with my time than fawn over Queen Jocelyn. Magic is expecting her foal any day now and I should be around when that happens. I can’t stop everything at the drop of a hat because of that woman.”
Stone raised a dark brow. “That woman’s name is Jocelyn. Remember? She used to live on this ranch and she was like family. No, she was family, so don’t pretend otherwise.”
Cade’s lips tightened as he balled his hands into tight fists at his sides. Deep down he knew his brother meant well, but the more they dwelled on this topic the shorter his patience became. “I know what the hell her name is.” He barely managed to get the words out through gritted teeth.
“Then use it. Look, I don’t know exactly what happened between the two of you and why it ended, but avoiding her won’t help matters.”
It would certainly help his peace of mind. Cade rubbed his temples to soothe the coming headache. Stone wasn’t going away unless he opened up and Cade didn’t want to, but he had to say something to get his brother off his back. “There’s not really much to tell that I haven’t already told you. When I went to Dallas to see her, she told me in not so many words she’d outgrown me and I didn’t fit into the lifestyle she wanted for herself.” He didn’t dare go into further detail because that familiar tightening of chest seized him from within.
Stone scratched his head, frowning. “Yeah, you told us that already, but hell if I’m not confused. That doesn’t sound like our Jos. There has to be more to it. Maybe you misunderstood her.”
“Oh, I heard her loud and clear. I wasn’t good enough for her anymore. Why the hell are you defending her anyway? She stayed away from the ranch all this time, basically ignoring her own father’s existence. If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is. If she can treat blood like that, do you think she gave a shit about me or any of us? You’re remembering the kid she used to be, not the she-demon she turned into. If you’re willing to sit around the table talking about the good old days with her as if everything is okay, then be my guest. I’ll pass.”
“Cade—”
“Don’t Cade me. You know I’m right. When she left the way she did, she basically shit on us all. We treated her like family. Aunt Earlene watched out for Jocelyn when her mother died. You, Ridge and Decker treated her like a sister and I lo—” He broke off, nearly choking on the words. Goddamn her! Why the hell did she have to come back and ruin the life he’d carved for himself?
“And you loved her,” Stone said softly. “I know, little bro. We all did.”
Cade shook his head. “But not like I did. She was everything to me: my heart, my soul, and my reason for getting up in the morning. She owned my heart. Fool that I was, I never thought she’d stomp on it and laugh while she was doing it. Like you, I was in denial, thinking perhaps there was more to it, but when she never came back, I finally accepted she meant it. And maybe you should too because once she gets bored with you, she’ll discard you like garbage. It’s was a hard lesson but, I’m over it now and her.”
“Then prove it. Join us for dinner tonight.”
Cade flared his nostrils. “You’re really going to push this thing until I give in, aren’t you?”
“If you’re over her like you say you are, I don’t see why you can’t spare a couple hours of your time to have a meal with the family. If not for yourself, do it for Aunt Earlene. This dinner means a whole lot to her. Besides, she’s been on us about getting together for dinner. You’ll be killing two birds with one stone.”
Cade knew he was fighting a losing battle. “You’re a pain in the ass, do you know that?”
Stone chuckled. “So I’ve been told. This dinner won’t be so bad. You’ll see.”
Cade shrugged. “I’m only doing this because I know if I don’t, you’ll send Decker and Ridge my way for a talk. I don’t think I can handle another round of the Spanish Inquisition. What the hell are you so chipper about anyway? You actually sound like you’re looking forward to this. Are you that eager to see her?”
Stone looked away and kicked dirt beneath his feet. “Well, uh, of course. It’s been a long time.”
Why did his brother get shifty all of a sudden? Was there something he wasn’t telling him about? “Really? It’s funny, because I thought you’d already seen her. Or at least you told me you did the other day.” Cade raised a brow. “Come on. Spill it. What’s going on?”
Blood rushed to Stone’s face turning it bright red. The last time he’d seen his thirty-six-year-old brother blush was twenty years ago when he and his other brothers watched Stone feeling up his girlfriend Mandy Carmichael in the barn. Did this have anything to do with a woman? Jocelyn? The thought bothered Cade more than he cared to admit. He flared his nostrils momentarily. “Did anything happen between you two?”
“Us two? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Between you and her I mean.”
“Jocelyn? Are you serious? She’s like a kid sister to me.”
“Oh.” Not wanting to dwell on the brief feeling of relief, Cade continued his interrogation. “So why are you acting so giddy? Got laid recently?”
“Hardly. Been too busy for that lately.”
“So what is it then?”
Stone frowned. “What is this, twenty questions?”
Cade chuckled. “Don’t like it when the shoe is on the other foot, do you?”
“Fine. If you must know, Jocelyn didn’t come alone.”
“Ah.” It made sense to Cade now. “I assume her traveling companion is a gorgeous female.”
“Perhaps.” What Stone didn’t say told Cade more than what he actually said. But he decided not to press the issue. Stone had demons of his own to fight and if he was finally showing interest in other females since his disastrous first marriage, then who was Cade to judge? He only hoped for his brother’s sake, the mysterious traveling companion didn’t turn out to be a total bitch like Jocelyn.
“I see.”
“Well, I’ve got to run some errands before I head home to wash up. I’ll see you tonight at six. Don’t be late.”
Nodding, he released the pent-up breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “All right.”
Once he was alone again, Cade rested his head on the railing. It was definitely going to be a long night. He’d known about Jocelyn’s imminent visit for weeks and had debated on whether to take a vacation during her stay, but decided if he left it would be obvious why. He wasn’t a coward and he’d be damned if he allowed her to dictate his movements. This was his home and he was the one who belonged here. She was the outsider.
Despite the years that had gone by, the women who’d flitted in and out of his life, and his attempt to push her memory to the furthest corners of his mind, Cade still couldn’t forget her. How could he when he’d loved Jocelyn Winters since he was thirteen years old?
It had been the tail end of summer with the kind of heat that made your clothes stick to your skin and people retreat for shade the minute they stepped outdoors. Jocelyn was sixteen. She’d always been pretty, but in her mid-teens she was breathtaking, or maybe that’s when he’d really taken a good look at her.
With long, silky black hair that cascaded down to her waist and sherry-colored, almond-shaped eyes that gave away her Chinese heritage, she was Cade’s wet dreams come true. He’d spent hours thinking about her pouty red lips and dreaming of the day when he could finally kiss them. And that body. Hot damn, that body! She was short, but curvy in all the right places, reminding him of one of the girls in Stone’s dirty magazines. Cade and his brothers were taking a swim in the pond to cool off when Jocelyn came along. She had been like a big sister to him, but seeing her that day in a one piece clinging so tightly to her body, as the sun glinted through her hair like black gold, he’d grown uncomfortably stiff and made an excuse to leave before anyone else noticed.
From that moment on, he’d made a point of being wherever she was. Cade was sure she only saw him as a friend in the beginning, but on her eighteenth birthday, he’d made his move. He’d kissed her square on the lips and told her how he felt.. Jocelyn had laughed off the encounter, but the way her lips had briefly clung to his had given his teenage heart hope.
The time hadn’t been right for them then, but three years later, realizing he couldn’t go another day without making her his, Cade tried again. To his surprise and delight, she admitted to her feelings for him. He’d walked around the ranch with his chest puffed out, confident in the fact he’d finally secured Jocelyn’s love. They’d shared something special, or so he thought, until the promise of bright lights and city living seduced Jocelyn away from the ranch and away from him.
Cade might have dealt with the break-up better had it not been for the way she’d done it. In all the years he’d known her, he would never have believed she could be so cruel. But she was: ending all his dreams of spending the rest of his life with her. And for that, he could never forgive her. While he’d loved her with everything he had, she’d been laughing behind his back. She’d used him as her own personal boy toy and the humiliation of it still burned in his gut. He might have to sit through dinner with her tonight but if she expected him to pretend as if everything was fine and dandy, she could forget it.