I hated hospitals. I’d learned the hard way that nothing good ever happened in a hospital, and being there made me nervous. It brought me right back to the day that my mother died, when I’d gotten the phone call telling me that she’d been in a car accident and I needed to get to the hospital right away. When I’d arrived there, no one would tell me anything. All I’d wanted to do was see my mom, but no one would let me, and I couldn’t understand why. One of the nurses kept patting my arm and telling me that everything would be okay, and for a short time I actually started to believe her. Until a somber-looking doctor wearing blue scrubs walked up to me with a look on his face that told me everything I needed to know—that my mother was gone, and I was alone. I’d barely heard a word he said after that, but I continued to stand there, frozen in place, pretending to listen. When the truth hit my stomach, I ran out of there as fast as I could, emptying the contents of it behind a bush near the entrance. I didn’t bother going back inside, because what was the point? My mom was gone, and there was nothing that anyone in there could do to change it.
Dex kept insisting that his injury was minor, but I didn’t relax until I heard the doctor confirm that he was going to be fine. It hadn’t been easy to get him into the examination room because he was more worried about me than himself, even though he was the one bleeding all over the place. Despite my concern, the doctor told us that the wound looked a lot worse than it actually was, and after a few stitches he would be able to leave.
I’d never been so relieved. The fear I felt when I saw Dex’s shirt covered in blood was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. It had completely consumed me… terrifying me and breaking my heart at the same time. In the moment when I thought I might lose him, everything that I’d been afraid of and all my reasons for holding back became irrelevant. The only thing that mattered was how much I loved him. I realized then, that the only thing worse than losing him, would be losing him without ever telling him how I felt.
Cringing, I watched as the doctor began stitching up the wound. Dex only smiled at me, completely unfazed by the pain as he held my hand in his, gently running his fingers over mine as if to remind us that we were both okay. He hadn’t let go of my hand since we left the apartment. When the doctors tried to keep me from going into the exam room with him because I wasn’t family, Dex had made it very clear that he wasn’t leaving my side, even if it meant going home without any treatment. Fortunately, they had decided to make an exception for us, given the circumstances.
Two police officers had shown up at the hospital shortly after we arrived, and while Dex was filling out paperwork, one of them approached me.
“Hello, Ma’am, I’m Officer Bishop. Would you mind giving me your statement and answering a couple of questions?” He smiled gently, “I know you’ve had a rough night but I promise it won’t take up much of your time.”
I nodded. He led me over to the seating area and brought me a cup of coffee, which I was incredibly grateful for considering that it was nearly three o’clock in the morning.
On autopilot, I went through the whole night, unable to stop the quiver in my voice and the slight shake of my hands as I described Steven’s harsh grip on my throat, the frightening look in his eyes and the fear I had when I thought I might die.
“This Steven Chambers… you said he’s your ex-boyfriend, correct?” I nodded, and he jotted my answer down on his report. “When was the last time you had any contact with him?”
“Not since May,” I said. “I haven’t seen or heard anything from him since I left New York. Well, not that I was aware of, anyway. He called from a blocked number a couple of times, but I didn’t know it was him until tonight when he told me.”
“Anything suspicious or unusual other than the phone calls?”
“Sometimes I felt like there was someone watching me… following me… maybe taking pictures? I thought I was being paranoid, though. I had no idea Steven would try and track me down.”
“Has he ever shown this kind of aggressive behavior before?” he asked. “Or demonstrated violence toward you or anyone else?”
I thought about it for a minute and shook my head. “Not that I ever saw. I mean, he’s a spoiled rich kid who’s used to getting what he wants, but in all the years we were together, he was never violent. I never thought he was capable of something like this…”
A short time later, he finished with his questions. “I think that’s all for now, Ms. Mason. If we need anything else from you, we’ll call you down to the station, but for now you should go on home and get some rest. They’re probably still collecting evidence at your apartment, and it might be a little overwhelming. Is there somewhere else you could stay for the night?”
“Yes, I can stay at my boyfriend’s. He should be finishing up any minute now.” I took a deep breath, needing to know one more thing before I could leave. “Um, Officer… what kind of condition is Steven in?”
“When we arrived at the scene, he was unconscious, but still breathing. He was beaten up badly, but from what I understand, he’s likely to make a full recovery.”
I was relieved that he wasn’t dead, but most of that relief was for Dex. I didn’t want him to face any kind of trouble for protecting me. I’d seen the pure rage on his face while he was hitting Steven, and there had been a moment when I wasn’t sure if he would stop. Thankfully, I’d been able to pull him back. “What happens next?”
“He’ll be charged with assault with a deadly weapon, criminal trespassing and harassment. As soon as the doctors discharge him, he’ll appear in front of a judge for arraignment. Likely, he’ll be released on bail until the hearing, but there’s already a restraining order in place to keep him away from both you and Mr. Porter.”
I wasn’t too worried about Steven coming after me again. I knew that as soon as his father found out what he’d done, he would do more to keep him in line than any criminal justice system ever could. Not to mention, I had Dex, who would always protect me and keep me safe.
Officer Bishop handed me a card with his information. “If you need anything at all or have any questions, don’t hesitate to call.”
I thanked him, and a few minutes later Dex walked through the hospital doors, shirtless with a white bandage covering the wound on his abdomen. He had a small cut above his eyebrow and few bruises forming on his ribs, but was still as gloriously beautiful as ever. I ran over to him, burying my face in his chest as he pulled me close and said, “What do you say we get the hell out of here?”
When we got to Dex’s house, he led me straight into his bedroom, helping me out of my clothes before slipping one of his soft tee shirts over my head. After tucking me under the covers, he dropped a kiss to my forehead. “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be right in.”
As tired as I was, I didn’t fall asleep, and after a while I got up and went in search of Dex. I found him out on the balcony with his elbows resting on the railing and his head hung low. There was a glass of whiskey next to him and it was obvious that something was troubling him.
I walked out into the cool night air and came up behind him. He shifted his head slightly, but didn’t turn around. Stepping closer, I wrapped my arms around his waist and began trailing kisses along the hard muscles of his back.
“I almost lost you tonight,” he said with a deep sigh. “If anything had happened to you… God, if he’d hurt you… I would have killed him. I still want to f*cking kill him.”
“But you didn’t lose me,” I pointed out. “I’m fine, thanks to you.”
“If I hadn’t come back… F*ck, Liv… I never would have been able to forgive myself if I let something happen to you.”
“You saved me, Dex.” I rested my forehead on his back, pressing my body against his and absorbing his heat. “I was so scared I was going to lose you. I—I can’t lose you, too. I need you… I love you.”
He turned around and pulled me into his arms. “I love you, too. With every piece of my heart. I’m never going to let anything happen to you. Ever.”
His eyes were full of fire, but not angry. They were heated with desire, and I knew he needed me just as badly as I needed him. I needed to feel every part of him, needed to reassure myself that he was there and was okay. Everything that happened earlier drifted away, and the only thing on my mind was getting wrapped up in him.
Crushing his lips against mine, he kissed me fiercely, protectively, possessively. With one kiss, he communicated everything he’d ever said to me, and all the feelings that couldn’t be put into words.
He spun us around, setting me on top of the railing and guiding my legs around his waist. His hands wandered up my thighs, underneath the hem of my oversize tee shirt and up my back, leaving a trail of heat on my skin that resonated all the way into my core. Leaning down, I pressed my lips to each of his bruises, wishing that my touch could take away his pain and heal him. I kissed along his rippled stomach, over his hard chest, up his neck to his jaw, and finally back to his mouth.
He growled, the sound vibrating through his chest as he took my mouth and rocked his hardness against me. I moaned, dampness pooling between my legs as I clambered to bring him closer, anxious to feel him inside me. His hands gripped my bottom and he lifted me up, effortlessly carrying me inside and setting me on the edge of the bed. I reached forward and popped open the button on his jeans, my fingers grazing his arousal as I lowered the zipper. Grabbing his waistband, I slid his pants and boxers down, letting his thick erection spring free. It stood perfectly at my eye level and I couldn’t resist pressing my lips to the tip, and when I took him into my mouth, he groaned loudly, cradling my head in his hands. I let my tongue slide along his length, tasting his smooth skin as my lips moved over him. My eyes remained locked on his, watching as his face twisted in pleasure and listening to the guttural sounds that escaped from his throat. Seeing what I did to him only turned me on even more, and I loved knowing how good I made him feel.
When I sensed that he was getting close, he drew back, dropping to his knees and pressing my back against the mattress. “Nothing, not even your sexy mouth, is going to keep me from coming inside you tonight.”
His hands moved up my stomach, lifting my shirt as he worshipped me with his gentle touch, gliding over my hardened nipples as he stared down at me hungrily. Peeling my shirt off, his lips caressed my skin, teasing my breasts as his mouth moved down my body, retracing the path of his hands. When he reached my panties, he hooked his thumbs in the sides, dragging them down my legs and tossing them aside.
Kneeling in front of me, he ran his large palms up the inside of my legs, spreading them open. When his eyes met mine, they were ravenous. By the time his tongue pressed against my center, I was desperate for his touch, clinging to the sheets as I squirmed beneath him. His lips moved slowly, coaxing me with gentle pressure until I was right on the edge. Clutching his short hair in my hands, I tugged his mouth away from me and pulled him on top me.
“Nothing is going to keep me from having you inside me when I come,” I whispered.
He grinned, letting his hips drop between my legs as he settled his body over mine. “Why didn’t you just say so?”
In one movement, he thrust into me, hard and deep, halting when he was all the way inside. I cried out loudly, wrapping my legs around his waist as he slowly drew himself out and gradually pressed back inside. His movements were slow and unhurried, and every feeling was magnified. He was taking his time making love to me, whispering sweet things in my ear with each slow thrust, our bodies moving familiarly together, making me feel more connected to him than ever before.
His breaths became heavier as his pace began to increase and he lowered his forehead to my chest. “You feel so damn good, baby. I want to stay inside you forever.”
Clutching him against me, I lifted my hips to meet his and grabbed his perfectly toned behind, pulling him deeper inside me, making me feel full and complete. I toppled over the edge, calling out his name with my release, and Dex soon followed, his warmth pouring into me as he swept his lips against mine. Our chests rose and fell against each other as we fought to catch our breath, our foreheads pressed together and our bodies still intimately connected.
It wasn’t until Dex rolled to his side that we realized his wound was bleeding through the bandage. I quickly ran into the bathroom for a fresh one before cleaning the area around his stitches and applying new gauze.
“Oops… I’m guessing we didn’t quite follow doctor’s orders,” I said, putting the finishing touches on my handiwork.
“F*ck the doctor’s orders. Nothing could have kept me from you tonight.” He grinned cleverly, “Besides, I like it when you play nurse for me.”
Once his bandage was taken care of, we climbed into bed and curled up under the covers. His hard chest was pressed against my back and I could feel his warm breath tickle my ear. Outside, the sun was just beginning to rise with the start of a new day. Together we watched the colors of the sky change until we both drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
We didn’t wake up until well past noon the next day, and we took our sweet time getting out of bed, lazily making love until our stomachs were growling with the need to be fed. We ate breakfast with Olivia perched on my lap, neither of us wanting to separate from one another, even for a short amount of time. Being close to each other helped remind us that we were together and we were safe. I was already plotting to figure out the best way to keep her here, because I had no intention of letting her go.
“I think it’s about time you gave me a drawer or something,” Olivia suggested, glancing down at the huge tee shirt she wore that was swallowing her up. “As much as I love wearing your clothes and going commando, it might be nice to have a few of my own clothes here.”
“Hmmm…” I scratched my chin, pretending to think about it. “I was going to offer you an entire closet, but now that you mentioned going commando and reminded me how incredibly sexy you look in my clothes, I might have to rethink it…”
She laughed. “I don’t need a whole closet! Just one teenie, tiny little drawer… pleaseee?” Wrapping her arms around my waist, she looked up at me with a smile that made my knees weak.
“Okay, fine. But it’s going to be really hard to fit all your stuff in one drawer.”
“Why would I need all my stuff?”
“So that you can move in with me,” I said casually.
“Are you serious?” Her hands dropped to her sides, and her lips curled up in amusement. “Is this because of last night? Because I don’t want to rush into anything just because—”
“That’s not why,” I interrupted, grabbing her hips and hauling her body against mine. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and after what happened, I don’t want to wait any longer. I don’t want you to be alone in that apartment anymore, and I don’t want to be alone in my house anymore. I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning. What do you say?”
She didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity, and her expression was unreadable. I was sure that she was going to tell me no, and then her face broke into a smile.
“Let’s do it,” she said.
“I f*cking love you,” I shouted happily, lifting her up off the ground. I nearly had her shirt over her head, ready to ravage her yet again, when I heard someone pounding on the front door. We looked at each other quizzically, and when I rushed over to open it, Rose barged inside.
“Oh my goodness, Olive!” She rushed past me toward Olivia and threw her arms around her, hugging her tight. “I heard what happened, and I’ve been worried sick about you. I had to see for myself that you were all right.”
“Rose?” Olivia looked at her with surprise. “How did you already find out what happened?”
“It’s a small town. That kind of news spreads like wildfire. And for crying out loud, enough with the ‘Rose’ crap already,” she said, taking a seat on the sofa and pulling Olivia down next to her. “I am your grandmother. You may call me ‘Grandma,’ ‘Grammy,’ ‘Nana,’ ‘Gram,’ or whatever grannie name suits you, but Rose is off the table. Got it?”
Olivia smiled. “Fair enough, Gram.”
While Olivia was in the kitchen brewing a pot of coffee, Rose turned to me. “Thank you for keeping my girl safe. That poor thing has gone through so much in her life. After fighting on her own all this time, I’m grateful to know that she has someone to fight with her. You’re a good man, Dex.”
I really liked Rose. She had a way of drawing people in and making them feel at ease around her. It was the same quality that Olivia had. “She’s been saving me since the day we met, and I intend to protect her for the rest of my life,” I told her.
“Is she going back to her place?” Rose asked with concern. “I’m not sure how I feel about her living there all by herself…”
“Well, we, uh… we kind of just decided that she would move in here with me.” I really hoped that Rose wasn’t the kind of grandmother that frowned upon living together before marriage. After all this bonding we were doing, I’d hate for her to smack me around.
“Good boy,” she said. “I’ll sleep easy at night knowing she’s in good hands. Now that I finally got her back, I’ll do anything to make sure I don’t lose her again.”
“You and me both,” I nodded.
When Olivia returned with the coffee, I excused myself to give them some time alone to talk while I took a shower and got dressed. I wanted to stop by her place and make sure it was cleared of any and all reminders of last night. The last thing I wanted was for Olivia to be scared walking in there. I also wanted to check in on Amy and Sadie. They weren’t there when Steven broke in last night, but they could have been. I would have to talk to Nate about adding a few extra safety measures at the house to make sure that nothing like this ever happened again.
I dropped a quick kiss to Olivia’s cheek before heading out. “Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving for a bit?” I asked. “I can do this another time if you want me to stay.”
“I’m totally fine, I promise,” she assured me.
“Go on now,” Rose said, urging me out the door. “If any little punk tries to come anywhere near her, I’ll take him out myself.”
“How was it?” Nate asked as we drove back from my first group therapy session a few days later.
“It was nothing like I thought it would be… but in a good way,” I said. “They really understood what I was going through, and a lot of them were going through the same thing. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one and that I’m not, you know, crazy.”
The group had completely surprised me. I’d been expecting a bunch of injured and broken old war veterans, but most of them had been around the same age as me. Some of them had obvious injuries, while others were hidden, like mine. I thought that being in a room surrounded by military men and women would be daunting, but instead I felt accepted. There was a bond between all of us; a common thread in our pasts that linked us to one another. I hadn’t planned on talking or sharing anything at that first session. I thought I’d simply sit back and listen, but for the first time ever, I actually wanted to talk about it, so I did. They had all listened, nodding along in understanding because they’d been where I was. It was reassuring to know that I wasn’t alone in my torment and that there was hope to be had for someone like me.
Normally, when I was forced to talk about my time overseas, I felt like I couldn’t be completely honest about the things that I’d seen and done, because “ordinary” people couldn’t handle it or wouldn’t understand. But with people who had seen and experienced the same horrifying things that I had, I didn’t have to sugarcoat it or wash over the details. I’d been burying all that stuff deep inside me, giving it a permanent home where it played in my head over and over again, tormenting me day after day. Saying those things out loud had severed the hold that those memories had on me, helping me to regain control and release me from the demons that had been haunting me since my first tour overseas. I felt free.
I wasn’t stupid enough to think that I was cured—I was far from it—but for the first time I felt like I was on the right track and was beginning to heal. I would continue attending group meetings and maybe even some individual sessions, and hopefully, someday the darkness inside me would fade.
We were nearly home, when Nate turned into downtown Charleston instead of crossing the bridge to Folly Beach.
“Mind if we make a quick stop?” he asked, parking the Camaro on the side of the street near a cluster of stores. “I put something aside for Amy’s birthday next week, and I wanted to get your opinion before I buy it. It’s my first time getting her a gift, and I don’t want to mess it up.”
“Okay, but I’m not exactly an expert on shopping for woman, so if she hates it, that’s your problem.”
I followed him into a small jewelry store and let out a whistle when I glanced around at the glass cases filled with sparkling stones and polished metal. Nate was not messing around with this gift.
“It’s my birthday, too, ya know… Amy and me being twins and all… so, uh, what are getting me?” I teased.
He rolled his eyes dismissively and gestured me over. “Just shut up and come look at this, would ya?”
The necklace he’d picked out was a small diamond pendant on a silver chain. It was simple and beautiful, and I knew my sister would love it.
“Damn, that’s actually nice. I was expecting something in the shape of a car or like some cheesy locket with your face inside, but you have surprisingly good taste. I’m impressed.”
“You think she’ll like it?” he asked nervously.
“Yeah, man. She’s gonna love it.”
While I waited for him to pay for the necklace and have the clerk gift-wrap it, I began strolling around the store and nonchalantly browsing the cases. I wasn’t paying much attention to anything that I was looking at until a ring in one of the displays caught my eye. It had an old, antique look to it that made it stand out from all the big, shiny baubles that all seemed identical to one another. This one had a single gleaming diamond in the center and intricate detail on the sides, mounted on a delicate platinum band. It reminded me of the earrings that Olivia often wore, the ones she said belonged to her mother and had been passed down in the family. I couldn’t help but think about how perfect that ring would look on her tiny little finger.
“Stunning, isn’t it?” One of the clerks appeared on the other side of the case and pulled out the ring. “It’s an antique from the 1920s, with a one and a half carat single cut diamond accentuated by exquisite filigree detail along the sides. Truly one of a kind and positively stunning.”
She handed it to me, and I held it up, admiring the way the diamond reflected in the light. There was only one place this ring belonged.
“I’ll take it.”
***
“This can’t be all you have,” Dex said curiously, eying the few measly boxes of my belongings that I’d packed up to bring to his place. “Where’s the rest?”
“That’s it,” I shrugged. “I only grabbed a few things when I left Steven’s, and the rest is in a storage unit in New York.”
He scowled at the mention of Steven’s name, crushing his fists angrily at his sides. “I still can’t believe they just let that bastard go. He could have f*cking killed you.”
“But he didn’t,” I said, wrapping my arms around him reassuringly. “We knew he would likely get released on bail, and the important thing is that he won’t bother us ever again.”
Steven’s father had bailed him out and hired some big shot attorney to represent him. I knew that there was a good chance he would get off easy—money had a way of making things disappear, and Steven’s family had plenty of it. Dex was furious about the whole thing, but I was surprisingly okay with it. A few days after it happened I got a call from Mr. Chambers, Steven’s father, who apologized for “the incident,” and assured me that Steven was being “dealt with,” and I wouldn’t have to worry about him ever again. He’d also offered me compensation—in the form of $50,000—for the “pain and suffering” his son had caused me. I politely responded that he could keep his money, and all I wanted was for Steven to stay away from me.
“Yeah, well if I ever see his face again, he’ll wish he was behind bars,” Dex scoffed. “I let him get away once, but I damn sure won’t give him another opportunity.”
“I know you’ll keep me safe, babe.” I stood on my tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his lips. As his mouth moved against mine, I could feel his tension slowly begin to ease. When his body was relaxed against mine, I pulled back and looked up at him. “Now let’s get these boxes in the truck so we can go home.”
“I like the sound of that,” he smiled, smacking my ass playfully as he moved to pick up one of the boxes.
It took all of ten minutes to load my stuff into the truck. As I was locking the front door of the apartment for the last time, Nate pulled into the driveway with his Camero, stuffed to the brim with bags and boxes.
“What’s going on?” I asked him.
“Didn’t Amy tell you?” he grinned. “I’m moving in.”
I glanced at Dex, expecting him to be furious, but he didn’t even seem surprised. “You knew about this?”
“Of course I did,” Dex said. “It was my idea. I wanted to make sure that Amy and Sadie were safe here.”
“Actually, I believe your genius idea was to install an alarm system,” Nate corrected him. “I’m the one who suggested that I move in with them.”
“But I’m the one who came up with the plan to re-connect the two apartments and make more space for you guys,” Dex replied smugly.
“Enough!” I laughed, shaking my head at them. “I’m just glad it all worked out.” As excited as I was to move in with Dex, the one thing that held me back was leaving Amy and Sadie behind. Now that I knew Nate was moving in with them, I felt a million times better about everything.
As promised, Dex had cleared out space in his closet for me, and even bought a new dresser for me to use. Of course, my sparse collection of clothing barely took up any space at all.
“I’m going to take you shopping,” Dex told me as he lay on the bed and watched me unpack. “You deserve to have a closet overflowing with nice stuff. Beautiful things for a beautiful girl.”
I smiled, “You don’t have to do that.” I hung up the last of my clothes, crawling over to him on the mattress and straddling his hips. Lowering my mouth to his neck, I trailed my lips over his skin and tasted him with my tongue. “I have everything I need right here.”
Immediately I felt him harden beneath me, and heat pooled between my legs as he reached for my hips, pulling me against him. “I want to take care of you,” he said.
“You already do.” I dragged my tongue over his earlobe, breathing a soft moan that caused him to shudder beneath me.
“I want you to feel at home here,” he choked out, slipping his hand underneath my shirt and sweeping his warm palm up my spine.
“I’ll feel at home as long as you’re here.”
“What if I—”
I sat up, rocking my hips along his length, sending desire shooting through my veins. “What if you… what?” I teased, completely aware of what I was doing to him.
“Aw, f*ck…” he groaned, clenching my body against his rock-hard arousal. “What if I… arranged to have the rest of your stuff sent down here from New York?”
I froze, looking down at him. “Really? You would do that?”
“Of course, baby.” He brushed my messy hair out of my face. “But only if you want me to.”
I smiled, nodding. I’d never had a permanent place to keep all my mother’s things and the stuff from my childhood. I liked that I finally did, and that what we had was permanent.
“Good,” he said. “Now that we’ve settled that…” He flipped me onto my back, grinding his hips into me as he pressed me into the mattress. “I’ve got other plans for you.”
My shift that night at the Seaside ran late, thanks to a rowdy bachelorette party that kept us busy behind the bar, and it was well past one o’clock in the morning when I finally got back to Dex’s. I hated coming home so late. Even though Dex had been doing a lot better lately with his nightmares, I still worried about him sleeping on his own and not being there to pull him out of it. All I could think about on my way home was finding him flailing and screaming in bed, a look of terror on his face.
Unlocking the front door, I quietly slipped inside and put my purse on the counter. I didn’t hear any noise coming from the bedroom, but sometimes he suffered through them in silence, barely making any noise. Tiptoeing through the house, I slowly opened the bedroom door and crept inside.
I let out a sigh of relief when I found him sleeping soundly. His handsome face so peaceful, his powerful body relaxed and still. My heart swelled with happiness. I was so proud of him. For few minutes I just stood there, watching him. Admiring the beautiful, amazing man in front of me. Sometimes it was hard to believe that he was mine.
“Quit watching me sleep and get your sexy ass into bed,” he grumbled sleepily. His eyes were still closed but he stretched his arm to the side, leaving a space for me to climb into.
I undressed quickly, crawling under the covers and tucking myself into him. I realized in that moment that there was nowhere else I would rather be, and nowhere else I would ever want to be.
“Surprise!”
I stood frozen in the doorway of my house, completely stunned to find all my family and friends waiting for me inside.
I glanced at Olivia next to me. “Did you do this?”
She just smiled. “Happy Birthday, babe.”
The house was decorated in streamers and balloons, with a huge “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” banner strung up from the ceiling. Platters of food covered the dining room table, and the outside deck was set up with tables and chairs.
Amy was the first one to run over to me, flinging her arms around me in a big hug. “Happy Birthday, bro!”
“You too, sis,” I said. “Were you in on this? Shouldn’t you be getting surprised along with me?”
“I was supposed to be, but Nate spilled the beans a few days ago,” Amy said. “So, I decided to get in on it with them.”
“Some people just can’t keep a secret,” Olivia teased Nate, who had walked over with Sadie.
“I can’t keep secrets from my girl,” Nate said, pulling Amy close. She beamed up at him, looking happier than I’d ever seen her.
“I helped with the decorations!” Sadie announced proudly.
I lifted her up into my arms, laying a kiss on her chubby cheek before putting her back down. “You did an awesome job, Sadie girl. I love it!” Leaning over to Olivia, I dropped my lips to her ear, tickling her skin and making her shiver. “Thanks for this, baby. You’re amazing.”
“You deserve it,” she told me. “But I can’t take all the credit, your parents helped me out. Nate and Amy, too. We wanted you to have a really great birthday.”
I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her against me. “Now that I have you, it’s already the best birthday I’ve ever had.”
She blushed slightly. “You’re pretty sweet, Dex Porter. You know that?”
“Shhh… don’t tell anyone,” I whispered. “That’s our little secret. Besides, I’m only sweet for you.”
“I hope you’re not getting all soft on me…”
“Hell no! Soft is the last thing you make me,” I winked, squeezing her ass and making her flush even more. “I’d be more than happy to prove that to you later. Or, right now…”
Her eyes twinkled deviously. “As much as I’d like that, we should probably go enjoy your party. You have all night to do whatever you want with me.”
“Oh, I plan to,” I promised.
I made my way around, greeting everyone that had taken the time to come and celebrate with me. Olivia had gone all out. In addition to my family, she had invited Nora and Jake, Rose, and even a few of my high school friends that I’d stayed in touch with over the years. I thought I’d seen everyone when Chase appeared in front of me, grinning widely.
“Happy Birthday, Porter,” he said, shaking my hand and patting me on the back. “Your girl called me last week to tell me about the party she was throwing for you, and I couldn’t resist stopping by.”
“Thanks for being here, man. It means a lot that you came all this way, especially when you’re wife is getting ready to pop.”
“Actually, she already popped. The little guy decided he couldn’t wait any longer.” Smiling proudly, he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of his newborn son. “He’s impatient, but healthy.”
“Congratulations!” I said, examining the photo. “You did good, brother. He’s beautiful.”
“Maybe one of these days, you and that wonderful girl of yours will give him a little friend to play with, eh?” Chase teased.
“One thing at a time,” I said, forcing a laugh as my heart rate sped up. The idea of being a father, of being responsible for another human being, made me panic. I’d never considered it a possibility before, so I hadn’t given it much thought. With all my issues, and with all the terrible, cruel things I’d seen… I wasn’t sure if someone like me should ever be a father. But when I looked at Olivia… when I thought about her stomach swollen from something we created, and pictured a little boy or girl with her blonde hair and blue eyes… I felt something different. It made me nervous, mostly, but deep down there was a fragment of excitement. Longing. There was a part of me that wanted that someday.
“I wish I could stay, but I should get back to Lila and relieve her of diaper duty,” Chase said. “But maybe you and Olivia could come over for dinner sometime soon, meet the baby and all that.”
“Absolutely,” I said. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
Shortly after Chase left, everyone gathered out on the deck for cake, singing “Happy Birthday” while Amy and I worked together to blow out the candles. There was really only one thing left for me to wish for. I already had almost everything I could ever want.
After the sun had set and the sky went dark, we lit a fire on the beach and roasted marshmallows. Olivia sat on the other side of the fire, talking and laughing with Nora and Jake. I watched her across the bright orange flames, captivated by her carefree smile and bright blue eyes.
“Mind if I sit?” my dad asked, breaking me out of my trance.
“Not at all.” I gestured to the seat next to me, encouraging him to join me. “Thanks again for doing all this. It’s been a really great day.”
“It was mostly Olivia,” he said. “She’s an great girl, that one. Anyone who can make you as happy as you’ve been lately is definitely a keeper.”
I smiled, “You don’t have to tell me that. I have every intention of keeping her for as long as she lets me.”
“Atta boy,” he said with a grin.
We were quiet for a few moments, but the silence was was plaguing me. He didn’t ask me the usual questions, and for the first time I actually wanted him to. I needed to finally let him in.
“I uh, started going to counseling,” I said, fidgeting uncomfortably in my seat. “Mostly group therapy, but I’ll do some individual sessions, too. You were right about me needing to get some help, I just never knew how.”
“How’s it going?” he asked, not seeming too surprised, or maybe he just masked it well.
“It’s been good… it’s been really good. Sometimes it can be tough, but it helps to talk it through.” I glanced over at him, regretting that I’d ever pushed him away when all he’d ever wanted was to be there for me. “I’m sorry that it took me so long to be honest with you about all this. I didn’t know how to handle it, and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
He turned to me, his face serious. “You could never disappoint me, Dex. Never. Not once, in twenty-six years, have I ever felt anything less than pride to have you as my son. I’m proud of you for all you’ve done for your country, for our family, and for yourself… for being brave enough to get help when you knew you needed it. That’s not easy. But you’re strong, and there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll get through this.”
“I hope so,” I choked out, my throat tightening from his words. “For a while I think I just… gave up. I stopped fighting for my own life.”
He glanced at Olivia on the other side of the bonfire. “Sometimes, all it takes is finding something to fight for.”
“I’ll fight for her for the rest of my life.”