“Hey man, it’s Porter… Dex Porter. I know this is out of the blue, but I was hoping I could come by today.”
The voice I heard on the other end of the phone was a familiar one; one that I heard every night when I fell asleep. Hearing that voice shook me and made me want to turn around, but I pressed on.
A three-hour drive into Wilmington, North Carolina wasn’t exactly what I’d planned on doing today, but after having another nightmare last night, I knew I had to do something. Olivia had very successfully distracted me in the shower, but I knew I couldn’t keep burying my problems. As soon as she left for work, I’d hopped in my truck and started driving.
My directions led me to a quiet street lined with houses on each side. It was a nice neighborhood, full of family homes with white picket fences and children playing in the yard. I thought I might have gotten the street wrong until I pulled up to the house and saw a truck in the driveway with a “USMC” bumper sticker. I took a deep breath and climbed out, stuffing my hands in my pockets as I walked to the front door.
Before I could knock, the door swung open.
“Holy shit, Porter… it’s good to see you,” Chase said, pulling me in for a hug. “After more than a dozen unanswered phone calls, I’d given up on hearing from you, until you called me this morning.”
I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “I know, I’m sorry. I just…”
“It’s okay,” he stopped me. “I know how it is. I’m glad you’re here now. Come on in.”
After grabbing two beers and cracking them open, he led me into the living room. He walked with a slight limp, but I doubted if it was noticeable to anyone else. When we sat down, I took a long pull from the beer he handed me. It was still early afternoon, but this kind of situation required one.
“How’s the leg?” I asked.
“Pretty damn good, actually.” He pulled up his pant leg to reveal the prosthetic leg he had underneath. “It’s incredible what they’ve done with these things. It hardly bothers me at all anymore. Obviously it took some getting used to at first, but it’s a small price to pay. I’ll take losing a leg any day if it means getting away with my life.”
I wondered what was wrong with me. My friend lost half his leg and still found a way to move on with his life and be positive about it. Me? Aside from a slight loss of hearing, I’d escaped in one piece, and yet I couldn’t seem to move past it.
“It’s because of you that I got out of there at all,” Chase said. “If you hadn’t dragged me out, I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have had a second chance.” A huge smile formed on his mouth. “I wouldn’t be a daddy.”
My head snapped up. “You have a kid? Are you f*cking with me?”
“Not quite yet, but in another couple weeks, yeah.”
“Wow, congratulations. That’s… incredible,” I smiled, shaking my head. “Didn’t waste any time, did you?”
“Hell no!” he laughed. “As soon as I got out of the hospital, I asked Lila to marry me, and we went down to city hall. We decided we didn’t want to wait to start a family, and now… here we are.”
“Here you are,” I echoed. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve it.”
“You wanna know what we decided to name him?”
“It’s a boy?”
“Yup,” he replied with a nod. “Austin Porter Scott.”
“What?” My throat tightened, and I looked at him, “Why?”
“You saved my life, Porter. You saved all our asses out there. More than once. I can only hope my son turns out half as brave as you.”
“I’m not brave,” I mumbled, focusing on a spot on the floor. “I’m a f*cking mess, man. Sometimes I feel like a part of me is still over there. I wake up from a nightmare, and all I want to do is throw on my gear and go hurt someone. I’m constantly looking around for threats, like any minute an enemy combatant is gonna sneak up behind me and take me out. I can’t get my shit together and my head… God, my head is so f*cked up. I don’t think I’m ever gonna get past it.”
“Yes, you will,” he told me. “I’ve been where you are, and it sucks. The nightmares, the guilt, the paranoia… it’s enough to f*ck anyone’s head up. You can’t live through what we lived through, see what we saw, and expect anything to be normal after. That shit wasn’t normal, and we’re all probably going to carry it with us for the rest of our lives. We all left a part of us over there.”
“Not me, I didn’t just leave a part of myself… I left my best f*cking friend over there to die. I failed and I don’t deserve to move on.”
“How did you fail?” he questioned me. “By running out into the smoke even though you couldn’t hear shit, and your brain had just gotten rattled to shit inside your skull? By dragging half our goddamn unit to safety so we could return to our families? That doesn’t sound like failure to me, Dex.”
“I failed Teddy!” I screamed, no longer able to keep it inside. “He was dying, he called out for me, and I couldn’t f*cking find him! I couldn’t save him!”
“No one could’ve saved him!” Chase yelled, standing from his seat and staring me down. “He never called your name, Dex. I know you thought you heard him, but you didn’t. His injuries were too extreme, and there’s nothing that you or anyone else could have done to save him. You’ve got to understand that.”
I dragged my hands over my face in frustration. “I understand what you’re trying to say, I do. My logic tells me one thing, but I just… can’t feel that way.”
“It’s all part of the PTSD. It’s like all your wires get crossed, and even though you want to feel one way, you just can’t. It gets better, though.”
“How?” I asked. “How do I get better?”
“You talk about it. Talk, talk, and talk until the mess in your head starts to unravel. We internalize all this shit, and it eats us alive. They have counseling and therapy and all that shit to help us sort it out and give us the tools we need to move on.”
“It doesn’t feel fair, somehow. Why should I get to live a happy, normal life when Teddy can’t?”
“You really think Teddy wants you to punish yourself for the rest of your life? Just because his life had to end doesn’t mean yours does, too. He wouldn’t want that for you.” A small smile formed on his lips. “That kid would have your ass if he knew you weren’t out there living life to the fullest.”
He was right about that. “Are you happy?”
“F*ck yeah, I’m happy. I’m not sure I’ll ever truly get past it, and I’ll probably struggle with it for the rest of my life, but I’ve learned to deal with it and move forward. I keep up with the therapy, I’ve got a good woman who’s always there for me, and every day is a little bit easier than the last.” He looked at me with a sideways glance, “You got a good girl, Porter?”
I was quiet for a moment before a smile tilted my lips and I nodded. “Yeah, I do.”
“You’ll work it out, I know you will. If anyone can get through this, it’s you.”
I spent the rest of the day there and got to meet his very-pregnant wife, Lila, who invited me to stay for dinner. We kept the conversation light, catching up and exchanging embarrassing stories about each other while Lila laughed so hard I thought the baby was going to pop out right there in the dining room.
Before I left, Chase handed me a card for the veteran support program that had referred him to his therapist, who specialized in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and told me that they could refer me to someone as well.
“Thank you… for everything,” I said as I took the card.
“No thanks necessary. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“I won’t,” I said. “I want to meet that little boy of yours when he gets here.”
“You better. Stay safe, brother. Semper fi.”
“Semper fi.”
***
“Have you decided what you’re going to do about Rose?” Dex asked.
It had been a little over a week since the “grandmother” incident, and I’d been avoiding the topic. I knew that Dex thought I should go see her, but aside from a few hints here and there, he had left it alone. Until now.
“Not yet.” I really hoped that he would drop it, but the look on his face said otherwise.
“I know it’s a lot to think about, Liv… but aren’t you curious? She might be able to answer some of the questions you have and fill in the gaps from your childhood.”
“Of course, I’m curious,” I snapped. My tone came out harsher than I intended but I couldn’t help it. “But it’s not like she’s filling me in on last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy… we’re talking about my life here! It’s a big deal.”
“I know it is,” he acknowledged. “I’m not trying to push you, I just… I’m worried that you’ll regret it if you don’t. She’s not going to be around forever and I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life wondering.”
Since when did everyone else think they knew what was best for me?
“This coming from a guy who has an unopened letter from his best friend’s parents that’s been sitting on his coffee table for months now. Why don’t you take your own advice, Dex?” I blurted it out without thinking and immediately regretted it when I saw the pain flash across his face. He was trying to help me and I was getting defensive. I was frustrated and confused, and I was taking it out on him.
Dex quietly walked out of the room, and I felt like the worst person on the planet. I was about to jump up and go after him when he came back in.
“I’m sorry, Dex. I’m being such a bitch. I didn’t mean that, I know it’s not the same thing. I’m confused, and I’m taking it out on you when you’re only trying to help. I’m so, so sorry.”
“No, you’re right.” He sat down on the couch next to me, gripping the letter in his hand. “I’ve been avoiding this letter because I’m afraid of what’s inside, but it’s time to face it. Good or bad, we can’t hide from the past forever. It has a way of catching up with us whether we like it or not.”
He was far more understanding than I deserved.
“So I was thinking,” he continued. “What if we did it together? You can sit with me while I open this letter, and then we’ll go over to your grandmother’s house. Let’s just rip off the band-aids and get it over with.”
“You would really do that for me?” I asked.
“I would do anything for you.”
Looking into his eyes, I was totally overcome by the amazing, kind, wonderful man in front of me. The fact that, for me, he was willing to open himself up to the pain that would come with reading that letter… it blew me away. In that moment, I finally admitted something to myself that I’d probably known for quite a while but had been too scared to acknowledge. I was totally and completely in love with Dex.
Of course, it was one thing to admit it to myself and entirely another to actually say it out loud. Dex had said it once on the night he admitted his feelings for me, but he hadn’t said it since then. I knew how he felt about me—he had proved that to me—but I couldn’t risk putting it out there if we weren’t ready.
Still, that realization made me realize something else – that I couldn’t let him rush into opening that letter. He needed to do it on his own time, when he was ready. As sweet as it was that he was willing to do it for me, I loved him too much to let him.
“Actually, Dex… if it’s okay with you, could we rip my band-aid off first?” I said. “I’m afraid I’ll chicken out if I wait too long.”
“Sure thing, babe. Whatever you want.”
His relief was obvious, and I knew I made the right decision. I had no doubt that he would find the courage to do it soon, but I couldn’t let him do it for me. He needed to do it for himself.
The old station wagon was sitting in the driveway when we pulled up to the house, so I knew Rose was home. It was hard to believe that I’d ever lived here as a kid. All the places that my mom and I lived were tiny, cramped apartments in busy neighborhoods, but this place was completely different. It had a huge yard to run around in, trees to climb, and there was only one other house close by. It sat on the edge of the river, and there was a small dock that led to a little raft. There were rocking chairs on the front porch and a carefully tended garden bursting with colorful flowers. It was the kind of place that every child dreams of growing up in. I only wished I could have remembered my time here.
“Do you want me to come in with you or stay out here?” Dex asked, helping me out of the truck.
I looked at him nervously. “Could you come in with me?”
“Of course I will.” He took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We’re in this together, remember?”
I nodded and took a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”
We climbed up the brick steps, and I hesitantly knocked on the big wooden door. When there was no answer, I knocked again, this time a little louder.
“I’m coming, I’m coming. Hold your horses!” called a voice from inside.
Rose opened the door, a smile appearing on her face when she saw me. “I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come by and see me.” After a few seconds of awkward silence, she took a step to the side, ushering us in the house. “Well, come on in, honey.”
All of a sudden, I had no idea what to say or do. Thankfully, Dex held his hand out to her. “Hi, ma’am. I’m Olivia’s boyfriend, Dex Porter.”
“Rose Evans,” she smiled, shaking his outstretched hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Dex.”
“Sorry, I’m a little nervous,” I admitted shakily.
“That’s perfectly all right. I’m a little nervous myself,” said Rose. “I’m just glad you came. Why don’t you have a seat in the living room, and I’ll go fetch us some lemonade?”
She led is into a cozy room with a couch and two chairs situated in front of a stone fireplace. There were French doors that opened up to the porch, letting in a cool breeze from outside. As I looked around, I was flooded with hazy memories and glimpses into a childhood that I didn’t recognize.
There was a cluster of framed photos displayed on a bookshelf, and when I stepped forward to take a closer look, my eyes fell on one in the center. In a round, antique silver frame was a picture of Rose and me. I was probably about three years old, so it must have been taken right around the time we left. We wore matching smiles and my little arms were wrapped tightly around her like I was holding on for dear life. It was easy to see how much those two people loved each other.
“You were a cute kid,” Dex said.
“How do I not remember?”
Rose came up behind us, “It was a long time ago, Olive. You were so young when your mama left. Let’s sit down so we can talk.” She handed us our glasses of lemonade and sat down in one of the chairs.
“I don’t even know where to begin…” I said, taking a seat next to Dex on the couch.
“How about we start at the beginning?” she suggested, taking a sip from her glass. “As you may already know, your parents—Laura and Tom—were high school sweethearts. Laura lost her mother when she was young and was being raised by her daddy, who didn’t know a damn thing about raising a daughter on his own. When Laura found out she was pregnant shortly after graduating high school… boy, was he was furious. He had big plans for her to go off to college and make something of herself, and since being a mother didn’t fit into that plan, he gave her an ultimatum – give up the baby or get out.”
I inhaled a sharp breath. My mom had never told me any of this. She didn’t talk much about her parents, but she always made it sound like both her parents died at the same time. I was beginning to realize that I didn’t know as much about my mom as I thought I did.
“But your mama… she was a tough cookie, that one,” Rose continued. “Fierce as a lion, but with a heart of gold. She loved you from the moment she found out you were in her belly, and she fought for you. Packed her bags, held her head high, and never looked back. I took her in here in a heartbeat. I loved that girl so much, and she was already like a daughter to me.
“Tom knew he needed more than a high school diploma if he was going to provide for a family, so he went off to college in the fall. He was only a few hours away, so he came home for weekends here and there to see you and your mom, but for the most part, it was just the three of us. As time wore on, he started coming home less and less, telling us he had to study or was busy with this and that. I knew it bothered your mom, but she never spoke up. He was the one person she could never stand up to, because she loved him so much and was afraid of losing him. She would make excuses for him and say that it was okay that he spent all that time away because he was working hard at school to make a better life for them. She thought that once he was done with school, he would come back, and you would be a happy family.
“Then, one weekend after months of him not returning home, Laura went up there to confront him. What she found out was that, while she had been at home raising you all on her own, my scumbag son had been seeing someone else for over a year. Laura was devastated, and the worst part was that Tom didn’t even seem remorseful. He said that they had been growing apart for years, and he wasn’t ready to be a family. It was all total bull, of course, but that’s just the way Tom was… selfish beyond belief, with no regard for the feelings of those around him. Don’t know where he got it from, because his father—God rest his soul—was nothing like that. As awful as it sounds, I always knew that Laura was too good for him, but I guess I hoped that he would turn out to be something other than what he was and prove me wrong.”
My mom’s story was remarkably similar to my own, and yet so much worse because she had a child with the man who betrayed her. It broke my heart to think about how much pain he caused her. She carried that pain with her for the rest of her life, never truly moving on or letting go.
Rose took a deep breath before continuing. “Laura came back completely heartbroken and determined to get as far away from him as possible. I begged her to stay with me, telling her I would do whatever it took to keep her here – even if it meant cutting ties with my own son. I would have done it too, and perhaps that makes me an awful mother, but what Tom did was unforgivable and all I cared about was protecting you and your mom. You two were my family.”
“It sounds like you really loved her,” I said softly.
“Oh, honey, I did.” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “I truly did.”
“Then why didn’t she stay with you?”
“She said that it wouldn’t be fair to Tom or me if I chose her over him,” Rose said tearfully. “Truthfully though, I think it was simply too hard for her to be here. Everything about this place, and me, made her think of Tom, and she no longer wanted anything to do with him or this life. So she took you, and she left.” She pulled out a handkerchief to dab her eyes. “It broke my heart, but I knew how much she was hurting so I tried to understand. When weeks and then months went by and I didn’t hear from her, I realized that I probably never would. She felt she needed to cut ties completely, and I’m guessing that’s the reason she never told you about any of this. I still regret letting her walk away, and I want you to know that not a single day has gone by when I didn’t think about you and your mom. I’ve missed you every day.”
My eyes welled with tears, and Dex reached for my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “How did you find out about my mom… about her accident?” I asked.
Rose stood up and walked over to the bookshelf, pulling something out from behind the frames and handing it to me. It was a photo taken of my mom and me at my high school graduation, only a few weeks before she died. It wasn’t in a frame and it was worn, the edges ragged, like it had been handled often. I flipped it over and saw that there was a message written on the back in my mom’s handwriting.
I miss you. I’m sorry.
“She mailed that to me before it happened. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened it. After all those years, she was finally reaching out to me. There was nothing else inside, but there was a return address on the envelope, so I wrote her a letter begging her to contact me. When she didn’t respond, I wrote another, and another, until one day they were all returned to me, unopened. I called the Postmaster in New York, and they were the ones who told me she passed. It destroyed me, and all I could think about was you, Olive. I didn’t know if your mom had moved on and there was someone in your life to take care of you, or if you were out there all alone. I tried to find out, but no one could ever tell me anything.”
“We moved around a lot,” I explained, trying not to choke on my own words. “We were never in one place long enough to get to know anyone. My mom never moved on… there was never anyone else. It was… it was just us.”
“Oh, Olive…” she cried, tears racing down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that all on your own. I should have been there for you… I should have tried harder to find you. I just didn’t know how.”
“It’s not your fault,” I assured her. “When I first met you, I was angry that my mom kept you a secret from me, but I think she wanted to tell me… she just had to do it in her own time. Unfortunately, she never got the chance. I’m sure things probably would have been a lot different for me if she’d reached out to you sooner, or told me about you from the beginning, but I did all right on my own, and I’m stronger because of it.”
“You’re so much like her, you know that?” Rose smiled. “Laura had a way of putting everyone around her at ease. Simply being around her could brighten my day, and even as a little girl you were the same way.”
“I’m starting to remember certain things,” I said. “Nothing specific, mostly foggy images here and there of you and my mom, but nothing about my dad. He and I weren’t close, were we?”
She shook her head, “No, not really. Like I said, he was hardly around, and frankly, he didn’t know how to be a father at all, let alone a good one. Most of the time, he was watching from the sidelines, preoccupied with his own life. It got to the point where you stopped asking for him and didn’t even really notice him when he was around.”
“Did he ever try to find me? Or even talk about me?” The question fell from my lips before I had a chance to stop it. Deep down, I knew the answer but I couldn’t help but ask it anyway.
Rose bowed her head sadly. “I can’t be sure whether he did or not, but if you want the truth… I would be surprised if he did. He did love you, though, Olivia. I know it sounds strange, given the circumstances, but in his own twisted, selfish way, he loved you.”
I nodded, ignoring the ball in the pit of my stomach, trying not to let it bother me. “Where is he now?”
“He’s a few hours away in Columbia, but he does a lot of traveling for work, so he’s rarely home.”
“Does he have a family?”
She nodded slowly. “He married the woman he met in college, and they have a daughter. Now, don’t start thinking that he turned into some great family man… because he didn’t. He’s still the same man that he was before, but this time, when he got the girl pregnant, her rich daddy threatened to kill him if he didn’t marry her. He’s absent from his daughter’s life, and his wife is no better. They send her off to boarding schools and sleep-away camps, and up until this year, she spent every summer here with me. If you ask me, you were better off without him, Olive. I really mean that.”
“I have a sister?” I’d never considered the possibility, and the idea made my head spin. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about it. I would’ve thought that I might feel some kind of bitterness or jealousy toward her for getting the perfect family I never had, but from what Rose was saying, her life was far from perfect. I may have grown up without a dad, but at least I always had a mother who was there for me and loved me.
“Yup, you sure do,” Rose answered. “Her name is Harper. She’s nineteen, and she’s an absolute sweetheart, probably because her parents never spent enough time with her to tarnish her. She’s the only reason that Tom is a part of my life. I resented him for what he did to your mother, but when Harper was born, I knew that she needed to have someone in her life to love her and take care of her.”
I already hated my father for what he had done to my mom and me, but now I hated him even more for what he was doing to this poor girl. I didn’t even know Harper, and yet somehow I felt strangely protective. “Does she know about me?” I asked.
“Yes, she does. She doesn’t know that you’re here, but she’s known for a long time that she had a half-sister out there somewhere. She always wanted a sibling growing up, and she never quite understood why she couldn’t meet you.” Rose looked over at me tentatively. “I’m sure that you’re going to need some time to process all this, but when you’re ready… if you’re open to it… I know that she would love to meet you.”
It was all so overwhelming and I hesitated for a moment, mulling it over in my head. “I would like that,” I told her. “I’m not quite ready for it yet, and I might need some time to get used to the idea, but eventually… I would really like to get to know her.”
“You take all the time you need, darlin’. She’ll be there whenever you’re ready.”
After a while, Dex and I got up to leave. I promised Rose that I would come back again soon. She walked us to the door and pulled me in for a hug, holding me close for a long time.
“Olivia Rose Mason.” I recited my full name out loud, finally understanding the meaning behind it. “I remember once asking my mom where my middle name came from and she told me that it was a family name. She said that it came from the most important person in her life, and someday she would tell me all about her. I’m so glad that I found you, Rose.”
She smiled, her eyes pooling with tears. “Me too, Olive. More than you’ll ever know.”
I glanced over at Olivia after we pulled out of Rose’s driveway. She seemed a little shell-shocked, but after everything that Rose just told her, how could she not be? There were times during that conversation that I had to ball my hands into fists just to contain my anger. Olivia’s dad sounded like the most worthless piece of shit on the planet, and I hated him for not giving her the childhood she deserved.
“Are you okay?” I asked her. It was a stupid question because, of course, she wasn’t, but I didn’t know what else to say. I was afraid that if she had too much time to think about it, she would end up torturing herself.
“Yeah, I am,” she said. “It was just strange to hear some of that stuff. There’s so much that I didn’t know about and it was… different than I expected. After hearing the whole story and realizing how difficult things were for my mom, I don’t blame her keeping that stuff from me. I thought I’d be angry, but instead I feel strangely relieved. My mom is still the person I always thought she was. There’s no way she could have predicted that she would die before having the chance to tell me about my past… sometimes these things just happen.”
“You got here eventually, that’s all that matters.”
“It’s crazy, isn’t it?” she let out a laugh. “Of all the places that I could have ended up, I happened to end up here, where I started. When I first visited with Nora, I felt an immediate connection to this place. I knew part of it was because my mom was born here, but it went deeper than that. Now I know why. It’s… home.”
“So, about your dad…” I began, trying to pose the question in a way that wouldn’t upset her. “Do you think you’ll ever reach out to him?”
She turned to stare out her window without saying a word. I thought I may have crossed a line, but after a while, she finally answered. “No, I don’t want anything to do with him. It’s not that I hate him, or resent him… I just don’t feel anything toward him. He wasn’t a big part of my life even when he was around, and he never tried to find me or be a part of my life after that. He let me go and now I’m letting him go. I’m better off without him.”
I couldn’t blame her. I was relieved that she didn’t have any plans to open herself up to someone who didn’t deserve her and would probably hurt her. Some people were inherently bad and weren’t capable of changing or worthy of a second chance.
One of my worst fears was that I was one of those people.
“You know what I do want?” Olivia took a deep breath and turned toward me. “I want to get my mind off all this serious crap. Even if it’s just for a little while.”
“Done,” I grinned, knowing exactly what to do.
The narrow dirt road was so overgrown that I was afraid my truck might not make it to the end. There were huge potholes that made it nearly impossible to navigate unless you were in a lifted truck like mine. The area was remote, to say the least, and not many people knew of the spot I was taking her to. We used to light a huge bonfire and party out there when I was in high school, because it was so deep in the woods that no one would ever stumble upon us. I hadn’t been there since before I went overseas for my last tour, but if it was anything like I remembered, then it was ideal for what I had in mind.
“Where are you taking me, exactly?” Olivia asked.
“You’ll see,” I evaded.
Finally the road opened up to a big clearing in the middle of the woods. It was perfect. Last night’s rainstorm had left enormous puddles in the dirt and practically the entire area was all mud.
“I really hope this isn’t your idea of romantic,” she mused, eyeing me suspiciously as I rolled up all the windows.
My grin got wider. “Buckle up, baby.”
She tossed me a confused look, and I hit the gas. The tires spun, fighting for traction as mud flew up and spattered the windows, painting the outside of the truck. Olivia screamed, bracing herself against the dashboard as we sped over a steep bump and splashed into the puddle at the bottom.
“Are you crazy?” she laughed, unable to contain the smile on her face.
“What, you’ve never been mudding before?” I glanced over at her. “If you’re gonna be a southern girl, then it’s something you gotta do!”
My entire truck was coated in brown mud, and we could barely see through the windows, but all that mattered to me was Olivia’s carefree laughter echoing through the cab. If anything could make her forget about all that complicated shit, it was this. There was something liberating about whipping through the mud in a truck, flying into the air over a bump, and that lofty feeling you got in the pit of your stomach on the way down. It was exhilarating in the best way and made you let go of all the other bullshit. It brought me back to when I was a kid and the most fun happened when I was doing things that involved getting dirty. Adults are always going out of their way to avoid messes and stay clean, but sometimes you need it.
Being messy is a part of life. A fun part.
Every once in a while, when I hit a steep trench or sped up, Olivia would let out a little scream, but the huge smile hadn’t left her face since we started. I loved that smile. I would do anything for that smile.
We kept going until the sun started to set and the sound of our growling stomachs alerted us to the fact that we hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. We stopped for dinner on the way home and when we passed the beach, Olivia told me to pull over.
“What is it?” I asked, concerned that she was going to be sick or that the day had finally gotten to her, and she was about to have some kind of emotional breakdown.
Her eyes twinkled mischievously. “There’s another carefree, reckless thing that I want to do.”
She hopped out of the truck, scampering over the sand and into the darkness. I jumped out to follow, scanning the beach futilely for any sign of her. It was pitch black and the only light came from the pale glow of the moon in the sky. My eyes began adjusting to the dark as I moved further down the beach and I nearly tripped over a pair of shoes in the sand. Olivia’s shoes.
I picked them up and kept walking. When I came across the pale pink tee shirt that she’d been wearing, my face broke into a grin, and I started moving faster. I followed her trail of clothes, finding her denim shorts, bra, and finally her panties. I looked up, and when my eyes fell on her, wading into the water without a scrap of clothing on, I damn near swallowed my tongue.
Her soft skin was radiant in the moonlight, illuminating the sloping lines of her gentle curves against the dark ocean. Her blonde hair cascaded down her back, billowing in the soft breeze and caressing her slender shoulders.
I’d never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life.
She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes twinkling as they found mine. “Well, aren’t you going to join me?”
I couldn’t get undressed fast enough.
Throwing my clothes in the sand, I waded in behind her. The water felt amazing and refreshing, warmed by the hot summer sun during the day.
Coming up behind her, I aligned my body with hers and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her tightly against me. I dropped my lips to her ear and whispered, “You take my breath away, Liv.”
She trembled slightly and curved her body into mine, pushing her round, perfect ass against my firm cock in the most tempting way. I moved my hand down her stomach, dipping it between her legs and running my fingers over her slick heat. She moaned, her head falling back against my shoulder as I took her breast in one hand and continued rubbing her p-ssy with the other.
I pulled her into the deeper water. The ocean was calm and relatively still, lapping against our shoulders as I turned her around to face me.
“Thank you for today,” she said softly, wrapping her arms and legs around me. Her lips brushed softly against mine, but I needed more. I wove my hands in her hair, deepening the kiss and gently nipping her soft bottom lip. She parted her mouth and let me inside, winding her tongue with mine as sweet, sexy sounds escaped from her throat and vibrated in my mouth.
She was pressed perfectly against me, and it would have been easy to slide inside her, but this was too incredible to rush. I wanted to take my time and enjoy the way her wet, sexy body was slipping against mine. The way her nipples pebbled in the cool night air and grazed against my chest. The way the ocean water swirled between us, warming every inch of our already heated skin.
I began kissing my way down her neck, along her collarbone and over her cleavage. She bowed her back and I took her breast in my mouth, licking and sucking her nipple as she writhed her body into mine. Her skin was salty from the ocean and the taste on my lips was driving me wild. I hauled her against me, dragging her along the hard length of my cock until neither of us could take it anymore. Shifting my hips I sank inside her and a loud growl escaped my lips. Nothing felt better than this. She was tight and f*cking perfect, our bodies fitting together like two pieces of the same puzzle.
Her hands clasped my shoulders as she rocked her hips into me. “Oh my God, Dex… you feel so good baby, just like that.” Gripping her ass in my hands I began thrusting into her, no longer able to slow down or hold back.
“Shit, Liv, I don’t have a f*cking condom,” I choked out, finally realizing that the reason she felt so incredible was because there was no barrier between us.
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”
I knew she was close, and I was too far gone to stop now. Clenching my jaw, I began pounding into her, hard and fast until I felt her tighten around me. I pulled out just as my own release tore through me and reached between her legs, drawing out the rest of her orgasm with my fingers.
Once she caught her breath, she looked at me questioningly. “You didn’t have to pull out,” she said with a slight pout. “I’m on the pill, Dex. I thought you knew that.”
“I didn’t know if you were… cool with that… or whatever,” I stammered.
She laughed. “You know that I trust you.” Pressing her lips against my ear, she swiped her tongue along the spot that she knew drove me crazy. “Don’t do it again… I want to feel you explode inside me when you call out my name.”
My cock immediately got hard against her and she giggled softly while I groaned. “If I don’t get you home now, I’m going to f*ck you until our skin is pruned and wrinkled from being in the water too long.”
“Mmmm,” she murmured against my lips. “It might be worth it.”
“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” I drew her close, pressing my mouth to hers and slowly coaxing it open with my tongue. I was fully prepared to stay in the water for another round, no matter how wrinkly we got, when I felt her tense in my arms and pull away from me. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I just saw something in the dunes over there… like a flash of light or something,” she said worriedly. “Are you sure there’s no one around?”
I turned toward the beach, looking for any sign of light or movement, but all I saw was darkness. “I doubt it, but I’ll go check it out just in case.”
She grabbed my arm to stop me. “No, let’s just get out of here.”
“Okay,” I agreed. She seemed nervous, and I didn’t want her to be. “I’m sure it was nothing, probably just a headlight or a weird reflection. It’s way too dark for anyone to see anything anyway. Don’t worry, babe.”
***