“Good,” I replied, standing up. “I’m going to get ready to go over Noah’s.”
I didn’t look back but I knew they were watching me as I left the living room. I hadn’t let it go but they needed to believe I had. They weren’t going to tell me anything if there was even anything else to tell.
Whatever happened before my fourth birthday, it was up to me to unlock. No one else was going to tell me the bloody truth.
Scarlett
I WALKED ALONG the back streets of town towards the industrial areas after not going to Noah’s. It was stupid and irrational, but the disappointment of my failed conversations with Mum and Dad left me desperate and determined.
So here I was, trawling the nearest industrial estate, looking for anything familiar to what I’d seen in my dreams. I wasn’t even in the same town that I knew for sure, but I hoped that something would look similar. How different were warehouses anyway?
I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked. The cold wind nipped at my skin, and I wished I brought a bigger coat. It was supposed to be warming up in May, but the weather had turned again. Going back wasn’t an option. As crazy as I was right now at least I was doing something.
Images of what I’d seen when I was coming around plagued me 24/7. They were more than dreams and my family weren’t talking. I had to know what was going on – or what had gone on. I still didn’t understand how the information could just get lost. It didn’t make any sense.
My mobile phone rang in my jeans pocket. I answered the call to Noah and took shelter in a doorway to a UPS warehouse. “Hey,” I said.
“Hey. Where are you?”
“At home,” I replied, wincing as I lied to him. I’d hoped he wouldn’t have called until after I’d got back. Noah was the only person I could actually talk to about it. Imogen thought I was just being a drama queen and told me there were things that she didn’t remember, but it didn’t stress her out. It was different; mine was four years and not just a few occasions.
“Right,” he said, obviously upset by his tone. “Shall we try that again, Scarlett?”
“What?”
“You’re lying, you’re not at home.”
Blood rushed to my face. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re lucky I called before I came over. Your parents told me you were on your way to my house but when you didn’t show…. What’s going on?”
“I’ll come home now,” I said.
“Where are you? Who’re you with.”
“No one. I’m just walking.”
“You’re just walking,” he repeated, sounding like the least convinced person in the world.
I started making my way home, walking with long strides so I’d make it back quickly.
“Yeah. Things have been crazy recently, you know they have. I feel like my head’s going to explode, the stress is too much. You think I’m obsessing for no reason because I’ll remember eventually, and my family refuse to talk about it. No one stops to think about what I need. I just wanted some fresh air and to think for a while.”
“Without telling anyone where you are?”
“Yes!” I stopped walking. He was irritating me, and I knew it was only because he was worried, but I was tired of not doing what I needed because of other people’s opinions.
“I’m not coming back yet. I need time.”
“Scarlett–”
“I’ll speak to you tomorrow. Bye, Noah.”
Hanging up and turning around, I headed back to the industrial park. I didn’t want to sneak around and lie to my parents and Noah, but none of them understood how badly I needed to figure out what was going on in my head. Every time I thought about it, ice settled in my stomach. I couldn’t help feeling that something was very, very wrong.
My phone rang in my pocket and as soon as it rang off it started again. Noah was persistent. I switched it to silent.
Back at UPS where I’d answered the call to Noah, I looked around. Warehouses all looked the same, right? Big and grey. I took it all in and nothing. Closing my eyes, I tried to put myself back there. To walking into the building with someone holding my hand. There was mud and rubble under my feet. The warehouse was abandoned. My white dress skimmed the ground as I walked.
I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the top of my nose, feeling a banging headache coming on.
Remember.
It shouldn’t be that hard. I’d lived through those four years; I should be able to remember them. My head constantly hurt where I desperately tried to fix the broken link in my mind.
Remember.
Evelyn. Focus on her. She was the only name I knew of the strange faces I saw. I wished I knew who she was. I didn’t see much of her face, but she was pretty and had light brown hair that fell to her waist and curled at the ends. That was all I knew about her but it was still a lot more than the others.
She was running with Jeremy. Where? What were they doing?