Awake

“Are you alright?” Mum asked.

I shook my head. “No. What’s going on? I’m sick of not knowing what happened, and I’m sick of you lying to me. I know that Evelyn isn’t a bloody doll, so tell me the truth.” Mum gripped Dad’s hand, her face ashen as if she’d seen a ghost. Fear gripped me. “Stop hiding things and tell me what’s going on.”

“Sweetheart…” Mum said.

“No! Don’t do that anymore. I deserve the truth and you know I do. This isn’t fair.”

“She’s right,” Dad said, eyes glazed with tears. “It’s time she knew the truth. We can’t continue doing this, Marissa. We always said if she remembered we would help her through, it shouldn’t be different for part memories. Sit down, Scarlett.”

I did as he said and carried myself to a chair with shaking legs. Noah sat, too, his face filled with concern. Mum and Jeremy looked downright terrified.

“Before we tell you this I need you to know we did what we did to protect you.”

Gulping, I replied, “Okay.”

“Your dreams are memories; you’re right. You’re remembering what you repressed after the fire,” Dad said and sat forward in his seat.

The fire was true?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mum and Jeremy exchange a worrying glance. Did Jeremy know everything? Of course, he does.

I shook my head, trying to put everything together, but it was like trying to complete a puzzle with pieces missing. “Tell me,” I demanded.

Mum pursed her lips, blinking back tears.

“Sweetheart,” Dad started, “Twenty years ago we were involved with a cult, although at the time we didn’t see that.”

My head hurt more. Was he joking? It didn’t make sense. A cult. “What…?”

“Eternal Light was a group of people that believed in inner wellbeing, living off the land and harmony. Our faith was put in nature and its ability to regenerate and adapt. We believed in an after life, one with no pain or loss, just peace and happiness. One night there was a fire in the old warehouse building we used for our weekly meetings. A few made it out, and we scattered, to later meet up back at the commune. It wasn’t long until we realised how misplaced our faith had been.”

That wasn’t it. They could’ve told me that. “You’re holding something back. You said you kept it secret to protect me. Where’s the danger in what you just old me?”

“Honey, I don’t think–”

“No, Dad, tell me everything.” How dare he still try to cover things up?

His knuckles and Mum’s turned white around each other. “The leaders, Donald and Fiona Mapel, convinced us that the only way we would all find eternal peace in the beyond is by human sacrifice.”

My pulse roared in my ears. I stood up, steadying myself on the arm of the chair. Noah was up with me, checking I was okay but Mum, Dad and Jeremy sat dead still.

“Human sacrifice?” Noah said, his complexion paling in front of my face.

“Please sit down, love,” Mum said.

Noah helped me sit. But I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear more. Did they actually murder someone? Were my parents murderers?

“I don’t understand. You killed someone? You were all going to kill yourselves?”

“No, that’s not it,” Dad said.

“Than what is it?”

He took a deep breath and licked his bottom lip. “That night was the night we were supposed to perform the sacrifice. For the months previous your mum and I had been having severe doubts. How could you find peace after murdering someone? Things Donald and Fiona said stopped making sense to us. We told no one of our doubt, of course. We feared being thrown out and left unable to intervene.”

“What happened that night? That’s what I was remembering, right? I remember candles. It was hot. And white, everyone was in white.”

“The sacrifice was going ahead and we knew then and there that Donald and Fiona were off their bloody rocker. They were going to go through with it. I stepped in,” Dad said.

“An argument,” I said, suddenly seeing an image of Dad shouting and wrestling with someone. It made my head pound, but I didn’t care because it was another memory. Was he fighting with Donald? People joined in, limbs flailing around as they tried to throw Mum and Dad out of the door.

“Yes,” he said. “In the scuffle candles were knocked, and the room was quickly engulfed in flames.”

“I remember the heat.”

Mum nodded. “I grabbed Jeremy’s arm, and Dad picked you up. We made a run for it. One-half of the building was already falling down so we knew it wouldn’t be long before the room buckled under the pressure.”

“I barely remember anything. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

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