She shrugged. “I do but not as much as I used to. A girl’s night will be good, especially after everything that’s been going on.”
“Yeah, you deserve some time away from the tension.” There was still a lot of tension; Jonathan and Marissa tiptoed around her, and she barely spoke to them. She still had a lot of questions and still didn’t know who Evelyn was, but she could barely look at them to ask.
I wanted to tell her but of course I couldn’t. Even if I could, I wouldn’t. After everything, she deserved the truth when she asked for it. When she was ready.
“Think one weekend I can come with you to visit your family? I want to see where you grew up?” she asked.
“You want to see my tiny, technology neglected island or my aunt’s in Dublin? Both are home.” I couldn’t show her the island, I’d never even been there and only knew enough to answer any general questions. Ireland, where I grew up from the age of seven, she would see soon enough.
“I’d love to see both.”
I would love to show her around, too. I would love for us to be normal and be able to live out a life I’d started to fantasize about. She deserved that. I deserved that.
“Do you think your parents would let you go away with me? They look like they want to run away with you when you mention leaving the house to go in the garden,” I said.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. They can’t stop me from doing everything. It’s so weird, a part of me wants to meet my biological parents, even after everything they’ve done. I don’t know how to speak to my parents anymore, I still have so many questions, and I’m pretty sure I’m either still in shock or dead inside. How stupid is that?”
“It’s not stupid. It’s going to take a while to get your head around everything – it would for anyone. You’re not dead inside for needing time to process what you’ve been told or for not being ready to have another conversation with your parents about it. And it’s natural to want to know where you come from, Scarlett. But how would you even find them?”
“I’ve no idea. I wouldn’t actually do it. Believe me, I now understand the danger of being near them, and I’d be lying if I hadn’t considered running far away from here, too.”
That was news to me. “You have?”
“At first, yeah. When they told me who they are I was so scared. But we’ve moved around a lot, and they obviously have no idea where I am. And, you know, if they ever tried to contact us we’d call the police.”
“You’re going to be fine here.”
“I know. Besides, I don’t want to have to start all over again, and I don’t want to leave you.”
“What do your parents think?”
“They don’t think I’m in any danger just because I know the truth. In fact, they agree that it’s safer I do so I can be more cautious. We love where we live and the friends we’ve made and don’t want some crazy cult to ruin that. I need the familiarity of here and my friends when everything else has changed so much.”
I swallowed hard, an uneasy feeling settling down. I still felt loyal and didn’t like her calling my family crazy. But I could see it from her point of view. A point of view I was leaning more and more towards sharing. I’d never needed to go home so much before. I had to be back in my community so I could hopefully set everything straight in my head.
“Look, I’ve got to go or my parents are going to be angry. I’ll try calling but if I can’t, I’ll see you in two days.” I kissed her, cupping her cheeks in my hands. When I was with her like this nothing else but her made sense. If she was the only thing that gave me clarity after this weekend, I would know Eternal Light was wrong and everything I’d been led to believe my whole life was built on poor judgement and twisted truths.
I was petrified.
Noah
WE ARRIVED AT the commune hours later, and I felt like I could breathe again. Everything was right here. I didn’t have so many difficult choices. We had a clear path and followed clear rules.
We were immediately jumped on by the community and led to the communal table, which I’d helped to carve from fallen trees in the forest. They had so many dishes laid out I couldn’t count them. It was real food that I knew exactly where it’d come from and what it was going to – or not going to – do to my body.
I couldn’t keep the elation off my face as I sat on the wooden bench and tucked into Bernadette’s famous asparagus fettuccini. I sat at the end of the table with Finn and a couple friends, Skye, Zeke and Willow. They were the only ones around my age, with Skye and Willow the closest. I wished they were guys so one of them could’ve gone to betray Scarlett instead.