I shrugged. “It’s not your fault.”
“Still,” he said, “I hate that you’re upset. Is there anything I can do?”
“You can tell me about visiting your family and how your aunt is doing.”
“Come on, you don’t want to be talking about that stuff right now.”
“No, I really do, Noah. Please.” I would’ve talked about football if it meant it would stop me watching my memories of my childhood rip apart. None of it was real.
“Okay. They’re all good. My aunt overfed us all, and my cousins are going through a pirate phase. They spent the two days running around with patches on their eye. Lottie had both on for a while, and I had to guide her around the house for an hour.”
A face flashed through my mind, giving me an instant headache. I rubbed my forehead, trying to get the fog in my mind to lift.
You will guide us.
I scrunched my eyes closed and shook my head. What did that mean and who had said it? I felt familiarity, comfort and fear at the same time.
Noah’s voice pierced through the haze and pulled me back to reality. He was sitting on his knees right in front of me, eyes wide with worry.
“I. Um.” Licking my lips, I slouched forwards and into his arms. “I think I remembered something else.”
“What was it?”
“A face of a lady, she was pretty and had long, light brown hair. She said ‘you will guide us’ and…” I closed my eyes again, trying to go back there, repeating the phrase over and over to try to get my brain to latch onto the memory and give me more. I hated that it was so out of my control. Why couldn’t I just get my brain to work properly?
“Who do you think she was?” he asked.
“I don’t know, could be anyone. I don’t recognise her at all.”
“Do you remember her eye colour? Think you could try to draw her? That might help.”
I shook my head. “She would just look like a stick person. I don’t remember her eye colour. She had a kind face, though, and she was smiling as she spoke.”
“Do you think it could be…”
My biological mother. That was what he couldn’t finish saying.
I shrugged, and he immediately wrapped his arms around me. “I don’t know. She didn’t look like me but then maybe I look like him… My dad. Anyway, I’m tired of this. Can we do something else? Why don’t you put a DVD on while I go and get some snacks?”
His face lit up. “Alright.” Before he got up he added, “Hey, you know I love you, right?”
“I do know. I love you, too.”
“It’ll be alright, you’ll see,” he said and kissed my forehead before going to find something for us to watch. I hoped it would be alright because I missed feeling close to my family. If I could fast-forward to a time when we were past this and had healed, I would.
Noah
“IS SHE OKAY?” Marissa asked, wiping her eyes as I got downstairs. Scarlett had fallen asleep, and I didn’t want to wake her so I left a note telling her I loved her and would see her in the morning. I wasn’t sure where Jonathan and Jeremy were, but I couldn’t hear them in the house.
“She will be,” I replied.
“This is such a mess. I never wanted her to find out. We only ever wanted to protect her.”
“She’ll understand that. She just needs time to process everything and adjust. I mean, that was some confession.”
This was the first time since she found out the truth that I was talking to them about it. But everything they’d said was exactly what Donald told me they’d say. Jonathan and Marissa had completely lost sight of what our community was trying to achieve. They’d let their doubt grow into something toxic that clouded their judgement and caused them to make snap decisions that affected everyone. In their heads, they’d turned Eternal Light into something it wasn’t.
When I finally got my chance, Scarlett would see the truth behind her parents’ tale.
Marissa managed a smile. “Yes, it was. We had to get her out of there and when she woke up and couldn’t remember a thing it was so easy. It was as if fate had given us this chance to start over and make it up to her. What we almost sat back and allowed happen….” She paused, shaking her head. “Finally we could give Scarlett and Jeremy a normal, safe childhood, so we took it.”
“Did you ever worry about her remembering?”
“At first, yes. As time went on we assumed it wasn’t going to happen. Perhaps we shouldn’t have been so complacent.”
“Do you think you should have told her?”
“No,” she replied. “We had to protect her and this was the best way to do it. Those people were going to murder her, Noah.”