I pursed my lips and nodded. That wasn’t right. I don’t think. Going home hadn’t given me the clarity I hoped for. I was still just as confused and kept going back and forth.
“I’m terrified she’s going to hate us and I’m even more terrified that she’ll try looking for them. If they knew where she was…” Scrunching her eyes closed, she took a deep breath. “She may not have my blood running through her veins, but she is my daughter and I love her. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe.”
“You mean leaving town?” I asked. The thought of not seeing her hurt but at the same time I wanted to tell them to take her and get as far away as possible.
“I don’t know what I mean. I don’t believe there’s any danger to her here. If they knew where she was, they would have tried to take her already. We’re safe here; I’m more concerned about Scarlett right now.”
“She’ll be alright.”
“I hope so,” she replied.
“I’ve got to head home for a bit, but I’ll be back tonight if that’s okay?”
“Of course,” she said. “It helps her you being here.”
“I won’t be long. See you later.”
I had to get out of there. I couldn’t think straight. The walls were closing in, air thinning to the point where I could barely take a breath. My mind hurt, and I was mentally exhausted from trying to work out what I believed and what I was going to do.
This was exactly what they talked about. They said that the outside world could get to you, make you believe whatever they wanted you to. The government fed you little pieces of information that made you think things were okay.
I didn’t want to be one of them. I wanted to think for myself but what if Donald and Fiona were the equivalent of a government? The tug of war between Eternal Light and Scarlett was going to ruin me.
Home wasn’t even a break from it. The second I got in, Dad told me I needed to call Donald. I just wanted a break from everything, some time where I could be left alone to think independently.
Scarlett occupied ninety per cent of my thoughts, but that could just be because of the attraction I felt towards her. I liked her, loved her, fancied her like crazy, but I shouldn’t let that come between what I’d known my whole life. Everyone back home was family and family came first.
I went to my room to call him, knowing my dad would allow me privacy to speak to Donald. We held trust very highly, something that made me feel even worse about doubting Eternal Light.
“Noah,” Donald said. His smooth voice calmed me, made me remember what I was part of. I wanted it to be over already; I wanted to be home again, where everything was simple, and I didn’t have to constantly struggle and fight to find my way.
“Hello, Donald. How is everyone?”
“We are doing just fine. And you, I trust the journey home was pleasant?”
“Yes, it was alright,” I replied, rubbing vigorously between my eyebrows. Headaches were coming all too often now. I never got ill back home where we had little to stress about.
“Noah, I am going to have to call you back another time, tomorrow perhaps. Fiona needs assistance with something rather urgently.”
I opened my mouth to protest. I should tell him about Scarlett knowing the truth, nothing was more urgent than that, but nothing came out. I’d spent two days pretending everything was alright with her, and I still couldn’t tell him what was really going on.
I should’ve told him. It should’ve been the first thing out of my mouth when we arrived home.
“Alright, was there something you wanted me for, though?”
“No, it was just to check in and see how everything is this morning. But we will talk later, I have to get back.”
“Speak to you soon,” I said, and he hung up.
I put my phone down and looked up to the ceiling. What am I going to do?
“Everything alright?” Finn asked. I snapped back to reality to see my brother leaning up against the doorframe.
“Yes, why?”
He shrugged. “You look tired.”
That was an understatement.
“I am. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t cure.”
“Alright.” He pushed away, and I was left with my obsessive thoughts again.
Scarlett or Eternal Light? It shouldn’t even be a choice.
Before I could think anymore, I dialled Donald’s number back. Family first. My community had to stay my number one priority. Please don’t let him be far enough back to the commune to not get signal.
My heart was in my throat as I called. Part of me wanted to take Scarlett to the other side of the world away from her family who broke her heart and Eternal Light, who valued their eternal life over her human one. Either way, someone would suffer. And either way, I would suffer.
I understood why they wanted to do it – Scarlett was our salvation – and we’d be reunited with her afterwards.
“Noah,” Donald said. “Is everything alright?”
Closing my eyes, I replied, “No. Sorry, you didn’t give me chance before but Scarlett knows. Jonathan and Marissa told her everything.”