What if she wasn’t The Light, the key to the next life, to eternal life?
But what if she was and I could spend an eternity with her?
I wanted to ask Finn if he’d ever have doubts, but I didn’t know who to trust anymore. If he told anyone that I was questioning it, I could get sent back to the others and where would that leave Scarlett?
Finn held his hands up. “Alright, just asking. What crawled up your arse and died?”
“Nothing. I’m tired, that’s all.”
“Is she keeping you up?”
I ground my teeth. “Nothing’s happened between us.”
“Whoa, Noah, calm down. I know it hasn’t.”
I turned back around, scared that he’d see the guilt in my eyes. Kissing was as far as I was supposed to go, our relationship had to look real, and Scarlett had to believe it.
I’d built a wall around myself the first day we’d met, but she used a sledgehammer to smash it down and made me care for her.
“You know exactly when Donald and Fiona want to do this thing?” I asked. ‘Do this thing’. It was a crappy way to say ‘sacrifice Scarlett’. I knew six weeks but not a specific date.
“When they’re ready,” he replied “Are you ready?” I used to be. We’d been working towards this forever. Everything we did was in preparation of the ritual. Now I wasn’t so sure. They’d chosen me because they said I was strong and could keep the poison of the outside world out of my mind. The outside world I could do. What I couldn’t do was keep a sixteen-year-old girl out.
I was either the weakest member of Eternal Light or the strongest.
“I’m ready,” I replied.
“Good. Me, too.” He slapped my shoulder. “I can’t wait.”
Smiling, I tried to dig through my mind to a time when I thought the same as Finn. When everything was easier, and my life was clear. I didn’t like how clouded it had become.
“I’m going to Scarlett’s, I’ll see you later.”
He nodded, already engrossed in the contents of the fridge.
Walking to Scarlett’s at a faster pace than I usually did, I contemplated what she would do when she found out. Would she believe Eternal Light like Fiona and Donald said? She was their daughter after all. Or would she hate us all, especially me?
Marissa answered the door and sent me up to Scarlett’s room, telling me yet again to leave the door open. We always did, but she insisted on relaying the rule every time.
Her door was open, and she was lying on her stomach on her bed, facing away reading a new book. Her chin was resting on her hands, and her legs were in the air. Her hair was still damp from a shower, but she’d not even taken the time to dry it before delving into another fictional land.
I watched her for a minute, carefree with everything ahead of her. Was eternal life worth sacrificing this girl for? Even if we waited another four years, give her one more cycle, to perform the sacrifice it still wasn’t enough time for her to properly live this life.
I sighed, and she looked over her shoulder, smiling as her eyes landed on mine. “Hey,” she said, sitting up. “I didn’t think you were coming until later or at all.”
Walking in, I sat on the bed and replied, “Couldn’t wait and of course I was coming. I’m sorry.”
She smiled. “I’m sorry, too.”
“Did you get done what you wanted?”
“No. Can we just relax, please?”
“That sounds perfect. I don’t want to argue, I just want to spend time with the girl I love.”
“That’s sweet,” she replied, leaning over for a kiss. “I’ll put a movie on.”
We got into our usual film watching position – me lying against the pillows and cushions and her lying against my chest with her legs between mine. It was sitting like this that had started the doubt.
Scarlett
THERE WAS NOTHING left to try. What else could I do? It was so hurtful knowing that my parents had the answers.
I could hear them talking in the kitchen, Jeremy was telling them something about extra football practice now he’d made the university team. Jer taught me to kick a ball before I could walk, apparently. Was that a lie, too?
Then I heard Noah laugh. No one had told me he was here. I walked in, and he immediately looked up and smiled. I didn’t return it. How could Mum and Dad carry on as normal, laughing and joking around when they were so obviously lying to me? I didn’t understand how they could look me in the eye but they did every single day, and that hurt more than anything.
Neither of them cared that I was having a hard time dealing with my flashbacks…or dreams…or whatever they were. They didn’t put aside how difficult it was to help me. Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do for your child?
Something inside me snapped and boiled over. I couldn’t stand pretending anymore. They were telling me now, or I was getting on the first bus to my grandparent’s house.