A Life More Complete

---Chapter 16---

I wake a few hours later feeling much better. I climb out of bed and hear Tyler on the phone with someone. I listen for a few minutes before he notices me. He walks over and pulls me into a one armed hug and kisses the top of my head. He is talking to another lawyer, I assume. He’s talking about someone possibly not getting probation and how this really f*cks up the case. It gets too wordy for me and wiggle out of his grasp. I do a little strip tease for him in the doorway to my bedroom and he shakes his head at me and narrows his eyes. At one point he mouths the words “stop it” but when I do he puts his hand out indicating that I should continue. I shake my head as I stand in a red bra and underwear. He grits his teeth and moves back toward the kitchen to finish his call.

I shower and stand in my closet in a black and white bra and matching underwear when Tyler comes up behind me. He kisses my neck making me tremble just a little.

“If you were trying to distract me, it worked,” he says.

“I’m always trying to distract you. A work call?” I ask.

“Yep. Our little princess got herself into a heap of trouble. This is gonna be a train wreck.”

“Trini?” I ask and my voice is full of worry. “What happened?” This is the first time she has come up besides our meeting on Friday.

“She stole a car from the valet last night and crashed it. So in addition to her drug felony, DUIs and battery case, I have this shit to clean up. She’s not going to get off easy. I’m guessing jail time.” He can see the look of panic in my eyes. “But in L.A. that means she’ll be placed in holding for a few hours and released. As long as she can stay out of trouble she should be fine.”

“I’m not sure she can. I think you should clear your schedule for a while. That is until you quit. She’s a pain in the ass. I’ve been with her for a long time now. Seven years and it just keeps getting worse. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“It’s a job Krissy. Nothing personal, but you need to remember that. I couldn’t give a shit about my clients. Just do your job and move on. Being a criminal defense attorney, I’ve seen it all. They’re all asses. Since I’m not a public defender, I get the worst of the worst. I get the paying clients, the ones with money. They think they can buy their way out of everything and sometimes they can. She’s just another screw up with money.”

“She’s a friend,” I say. But maybe that’s been my problem all along. She should’ve never become my friend. It would have put me in a much better situation when she went off the deep end. I could have washed my hands of her and moved on. But no, I jumped right in along with her. “Have you actually met her?” I ask.

“No. I don’t really care to, but I’ll have to eventually,” he says casually.

“She’s not what you think. You’ll like her, trust me.”

“Oh, I believe you, it’s just that I don’t care. I don’t become friends with my clients, nice or not, it doesn’t matter.”

As much of a pain in the ass that she is I can’t seem to shake the feeling that Tyler’s who-gives-a-shit attitude bothers me. I want him to like her. She’s been a huge part of my life and I really hate to see her struggle so tragically. My relationship with Trini has always been like mother and daughter, or like sisters, and it follows the path that makes it okay for me to criticize her, but I’m the first to defend her if anyone else dares to speak ill of her.

“Will you be nice to her? Please? For me?” I beg, pouting just slightly. I push my bottom lip out and glance at him sideways. “She and I have been through a lot together. I’ve been her publicist since she was twelve.”

“Which “nice” would you like?” He pulls me against him and he begins to kiss his way down my neck to my breasts. He pulls the cup of my bra down just slightly as he kisses me softly in just the right spot. My lips part and I moan just a bit. “There’s this kind of nice,” he mumbles into my breasts, then he suddenly steps back. “Or there’s this nice.” He extends a hand to me and smiles sharply.

“Tyler, you are such a tease. I want you to be the appropriate nice.” I glare at him and wrinkle my nose. I pull him back to me and kiss him. “I have to get dressed and now you’re distracting me. Don’t you have a flight to catch?” He laughs at me and walks into the other room.

I step into the living room as Tyler is packing up his laptop. He stops dead and stares at me.

“Baby, you look amazing, but there is no way in hell you are leaving the house wearing that, especially without me.” He shakes his head and walks over to me. “I don’t think you realize this but that,” he pauses and looks me up and down, “is not a dress. It’s a top and you’re missing your pants.”

“Funny, Ty, but I’m wearing it. Bossy boyfriends are not cool, just so you know. Enjoy the view while it last, because it’s walking out the door in two minutes.” I know the dress is short, but it’s not that short. Plus I look good. It’s a black, sequin embellished minidress that I borrowed from Melinda. If he thinks it’s short on me he should see it on her. She’s got at least two inches on my five foot six frame.

“I’m not being bossy. I’m just not sure I want my girlfriend parading around in a dress that’s fit for a hooker. Albeit a high priced one, but still.”

I’m sure the look on my face tells him exactly what I’m thinking, but I still say it. “Wrong choice of words, sweetie.” I purse my lips and head to the garage door. “I gotta go. Have a good flight. See you tomorrow.” I leave without kissing him good-bye because right now, I’m mad. I’m not used to being told what to do, let alone what to wear. I look down at the enormous ring on my finger and just as I’m about to slip it off Tyler appears next to my car. I step out into his arms. He pulls me tightly against him and any thought of being angry with him disperses.

With his head buried in my hair, he tells me I look amazing. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to feeling this way about someone. Jealously doesn’t suit me.”

“Ty, I’m yours. No worries. They may look, but no one will touch. Ever. Have a safe flight. Text me as soon as you land. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’m sorry,” he whispers, almost embarrassed by his behavior. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.” He says he loves me again as I climb into the car. I can’t help but have a stupid grin on my face. Just when I’m beginning to think I’ve made a huge mistake he pulls me back.

When I arrive at the event I’m just glad to see Melinda and Bob waiting for me near the entrance to the country club. Any event is better with the two of them nearby. We do what we do best and sell the shit out of our client to every media outlet that is there. Champagne in hand, project the image of having a good time, yet not too drunk, and make our client look stunning in the process. It’s a boring night, so Melinda suggests we hit the bars for old time’s sake. Bob says he’ll join us for one, but he has to get home to Jon. Melinda mocks him with an “Awe, it’s so cute.”

We sit down at a bar table and Bob grabs drinks for us. I avoid anything with tequila...just for tonight though. I know we’ll be best friends again by tomorrow.

“Eww, I had the worst hangover this morning,” I tell Melinda. “I woke up feeling like I sucked on a cotton ball and my headache was awful.”

“Me, too. No more margaritas. Well, unless they have them on special. Who can pass up a deal?”

“Speaking of waking up...whose bed did you wake up in this morning?” I ask, teasingly.

“My own, for your information. But I’m going on a date with him tomorrow. A real date, not a fake one where we eat Taco Bell after we have sex.”

Bob walks up and asks, “Who’s eating Taco Bell after sex? You Mel?”

“She’s not. She has a real date, with a bartender. Can you believe it?” I say.

“No way. Oh, Mel you’re finally growing up.” Bob continues to tease her until she finally gets pissed and he gives up. We talk about work and that’s when Bob drops the bomb that neither of us saw coming.

“I want to tell you guys something and please don’t be mad.” He stops for a minute and looks down at the table. “Today is my last event with Ellie Regan. I quit.” He stops again and neither Melinda nor I say anything. “I took a job working for Jon. It’s serious, not the job, but the relationship. I want it to work and I know if I stay it’ll ruin everything.”

I look at Melinda and her eyes mirror mine, both filled with tears. I notice I’m more hesitant to cry over this than Melinda. The tears begin to fall quickly down her cheeks. I recognize that I’ve become almost immune to leaving. It’s easy for me to separate feelings when I watch something disband. This scenario has played out in my life so many times that watching someone walk away is a known fact. Bob and Melinda are my family and now I’m losing that, too. As much as I want to feel something more, I can only feel happiness for Bob. He’s getting out and will hopefully see what it’s like to have a normal, healthy relationship that isn’t dominated by an overpowering job and countless hours of thankless work.

“I’m glad,” I say with a huge smile on my face. The remnants of tears drying in my eyes as I stand up and hug him. “I want you to be happy, so do what you need to do. Of course, professionally I want you to stay, but for you personally, go, get as far away from here as you can. Be normal, love Jon and be happy.”

When I look at Melinda she is still sniffling into her beer, wiping her eyes with a cocktail napkin as she stands to hug Bob, too. He whispers something in her ear and she giggles a little. I knew Melinda would take this harder than me. She’s always been far needier of Bob’s attention and I’ve always let her seek what she felt was hers. Given my history, I’ve always had a harder time letting people in, so Mel bonded with Bob instantly. I think she viewed him as neutral, someone she wouldn’t ever be able to sleep with, someone who would love her no matter what. She’ll struggle with losing him, but she’ll be okay. We both will. Bob likes Melinda, but he loves me. There’s a difference and eventually their friendship may fade, I can’t say for certain, but I do know that Melinda is far more fickle and self-absorbed. I’ve watched many of her friendships fade. I, on the other hand will always have Bob. It takes far too long for me to develop close lasting relationships, so when I do they remain intact.

I grab my beer and take the last drink in one big gulp. Bob gets another round and we sit and talk for over an hour. He tells us that he is moving in with Jon and feels it’s the right move. They’re buying a house in Newport Beach to be closer to Jon’s office, which will now be Bob’s, too. This statement makes Melinda cry again. She says that it’s too far and she’ll never see him again. I reach across the small bar table and cover her hand with mine. She swings her head around and grabs my hand.

“Holy shit! You’re engaged?” That better be fake,” she screams in a shrill voice. She shoves my hand in Bob’s face. “Can you believe this shit?” she says staring down at the diamond on my finger.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” I’m really not sure what to say. As much as I love Tyler, I don’t want the judgment that my choice will bring. All my life, I’ve never felt the need to explain my actions, but right now I do. “Tyler asked last night, after we got back from dinner and I said yes. It’s really soon, I know, but it really isn’t. We’ve been together...” Melinda cuts me off abruptly.

“You don’t have to defend your choice to me,” Melinda says. “I saw you two together. It was so perfectly adorable.” She turns to Bob. “They are so cute. And oh my God, Bob, he’s totally gorgeous.” Melinda carries on for several more minutes filling Bob in on Tyler and how we met, she makes it sound like a movie. She leaves out all the bad parts, fails to mention what an a*shole he used to be and I guess when displayed in her light of perfectionism, it does sound quite amazing. “Soon, yep, but who cares. Do what makes you happy. Yours and Tyler’s story is so perfectly cute that it can’t end any other way but with you two getting married. Why put off the inevitable?”

Bob is quiet and I know that his reaction isn’t going to be as stellar as Melinda’s. He is far more controlled than Melinda and I can tell by the look on his face that he isn’t as thrilled with my spontaneous decision. When he eyes me, I look away quickly. I feel like he can sense my uncertainty, but he won’t say it with Melinda around. “If this is what you want then go for it.” He shrugs his shoulders and pulls me into a hug, quietly whispering in my ear before he pulling away, “I love you, but are you sure?” I nod slightly and smile, but his words replay in my head over and over.

After multiple hugs from Melinda, they ooh and ahh over my insane ring as we finish our drinks and go our separate ways. As I’m driving home my phone rings. It’s Tyler.

“Hi baby,” I say.

“Hey kid. How was your night? Any comments about your dress?” he asks casually.

“Uneventful,” I say and tell him no one cared to notice the dress and if they did they didn’t comment. “I miss you. I wish I wasn’t going home to an empty bed.” My voice has a sad quality to it that is rarely present.

“I miss you terribly. I really need this to be over so I can get home to you. Where are you?” he asks.

“I’m about five minutes from home. Why?”

“Stay on the phone with me until you get home. I need to know you’re safe. You going home alone makes me uneasy.”

“Tyler, I’ve lived by myself...” I trail off stopping short of completing that sentence. “It’s sweet that you worry about me.”

“How can I not? You’re the most important person in my world. I don’t know how I spent so long without you.” His words make me smile and feel lonely all at the same time. I want him next to me, holding me, making me feel safe and comforted, but I will come home to an empty house. Something that never bothered me until this moment, but here I am dwelling on the fact that my house will be empty.

“I’m home,” I say walking up the stairs from the garage. My feet ache and my whole body is exhausted. My bed is calling my name and I hope sleep doesn’t elude me. Sleeping alone now has become hard. First Ben left my bed empty and now Tyler.

“I left you a surprise on your bed,” Tyler says. I know his smile is massive. The one thing Tyler loved was to shower me with gifts. Some things never change.

“You didn’t have to get me anything. Although if the surprise is you in my bed, then I retract my original statement.”

“Sorry, it’s not me. And I didn’t buy you anything, either. I have to go, ‘cause it’s really late here and I have to be up early. I’ll see you tomorrow night. I love you. Enjoy your present.”

“I love you, too, but I feel like you’re rushing me off the phone.” I toss my purse on the counter and pull off my shoes as I make my way to my bedroom.

“I am. I want you to find your present while you’re not on the phone with me. Now hang up. I love you.”

“Good night, Tyler. Dream about me.”

“Always,” he says as he hangs up.

Excited, I happily run into my bedroom and find a large rectangular box on my bed. It’s wrapped in silver paper and has a red satin ribbon tied around it. A small card slipped neatly under the ribbon bears my name and I rip it open.

Krissy,

I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

I didn’t think they’d arrive in time, but I lucked out

just like I did when I met you.

I love you,

Tyler

I rip the bow off and toss it on my bed and quickly to peel the paper away. My mind is racing as to what could possibly be in the box. I can’t even begin to speculate so I remove the lid quickly. The box is filled with what looks to be about fifty sheets of paper stacked on top of each other, but as I reach in to pull them out I recognize something I haven’t seen in years. The logo embossed on the back of the first sheet that bears the brand name Kodak. My fingers trail across it and I pull the stack out. I lay each sheet out on the bed and turn them over one by one and the tears begin to fall from my eyes, silently and rapidly. My mind races to Tyler and then to his best friend and our old roommate, Micah. The black and white pictures are amazing and beautiful and they tell a story of best friends and family and lovers in a way that only a person who truly understood could. I remember all those times Micah spent in the bathroom of our tiny beach cottage developing film and all those nights he spent in silence as he focused his lens and took pictures of us. Somehow he managed to capture all the love Tyler felt for me but could never express.

There are pictures of the three of us, Micah, Tyler and me, with genuine smiles, all of us together on the beach and in front of our house. I recall him setting the timer on the camera and running to join us. But the pictures that make my heart ache are the ones showing Tyler and me. Micah took pictures I never knew existed. Pictures showing Tyler’s arms around my waist, my head on his chest, with him kissing my hair, another one depicting the two of us asleep in our bed with Tyler pressed close against my body, my curly hair laid out over the pillow. And one of my favorites, the one that makes me cry harder than I ever thought possible. When I turn the picture over there is a note jotted on the back from one of Micah’s professors, it says, “I have never seen someone capture love and anguish the way you did in this picture.” I was on the verge of tears in the picture with Tyler standing in front of me. His hand on one side of my face and his lips pressed gently against my forehead. My mouth was turned down and my eyes closed, my arms down at my side. I looked lonely, but Tyler looked so deeply hurt I could almost see his heartbreaking. The picture spoke volumes about our relationship. Micah was able to tell our tale without using a single word.

I grab my phone and call Tyler. It’s late, but there is no way I can wait to talk to him. When he answers all I can do is sob into the phone. I can hear myself sucking in a breath and the ragged way I exhale as the tears fall. Any doubts I had about marrying Tyler vanish instantly. I know from this moment on I will never be able to live without him. I need him in a way that is obsessive and needy.

“Shh, baby. Don’t cry.” I hear Tyler say in a voice that’s hoarse and choked. “I kept those for seven years. I moved them everywhere with me. I never thought I’d see the day when I could share them with you.”

“Ty... I need you.” I manage to choke out through sobs. “I love you.”

“I know, baby. I love you, too. So much it hurts. Is your laptop on?” he asks. I grab it from the bag and turn it on. “Skype me, I need to see your beautiful face.”

By the time we connect up I’ve stopped crying. We talk about the pictures and I show him my favorites. He can recall the details of almost every picture, which brings him to admit he looked at them so frequently, even on the night before he married Charlotte.

“I miss you. It’s two in the morning here and I can’t sleep. How about you strip for me? I think it’ll help me sleep.” He smiles suggestively.

“Sorry, but you’ll just have to wait for the live version tomorrow night and not the live for television version you have right now. I’m exhausted, so I’m going to bed...in just my underwear.” I wink at him and he falls back onto the bed covered in marshmallow white, fluffy pillows.

“You’re a tease and you know it. I love you. Good night, kid.”

“Good night, Tyler. I love you, too. Oh wait,” I say and he stares directly at me and I flash him my boobs and close the computer with a huge grin on my face.

There is no turning back now. I feel for Tyler what I always did, I dream of our life together, our wedding, our kids, and our beautiful home. I’ve hurt him before and he has hurt me, we wronged each other, we were broken and humiliated, angry and devastated, but it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s changed; time has a way of rearranging things and I, too have changed. I will simply live and be grateful for what we have together.