Falling for the Lawyer

chapter Four


“Alex, hold the door!”

Swinging around in the lift she’d just entered, Alex spotted Sophie weaving through the bustling morning crowd of office workers. She pressed the button to keep the door open and held it there until Sophie could burst inside breathlessly.

“Thanks Al, I’m late for a meeting so you’re a life saver.” She was panting breathlessly but was still able to take in Alex’s outfit. “You’ve done it again!” she announced with a bright smile as the lift began to sweep the two girls up to the twenty-fourth floor.

“What do you mean?”

“Your outfit!”

“Oh, you mean this?” Alex looked down at the powder-blue suit she was wearing and ran her hand over the skirt self-consciously.

“Yes I mean that,” Sophie mocked. “What else would I mean? Why are you suddenly strutting around like something out of Vogue?”

“I’ve had this hanging in the cupboard for months,” Alex explained as they wandered out of the lift and into the firm’s smartly decorated foyer. “I wore it to my cousin’s wedding, remember? It seems a waste not to get some wear out of it.”

But Alex knew she was dancing around the truth with Sophie. The truth was that JP’s words from the day before had been singing in her ears as she’d stood in front of her wardrobe that morning. ‘You should dress up every day and walk tall,’ he’d told her. And so her hand had reached for the powder-blue suit. Other than the peppermint suit it was the only thing she owned which wasn’t dowdy.

“It’s not too dressed up?”

“No way!” Sophie protested vigorously. “I know you wore it to a wedding but it’s really just a business suit—it’s perfect for this place.”

“Can I ask you something Sophie, as a friend?”

“Sure.”

“You have to promise to tell me the truth, even if you think you’ll hurt my feelings.”

Sophie nodded in response. “What’s up?”

“What do you think about the way I dress? I need to know.”

“Ahh,” Sophie responded portentously and bit down on her bottom lip.

“Please, Soph.”

Sophie then pressed her lips together thoughtfully before replying. “Well, if you really want the truth, I think the outfits you wear are absolutely sensational … for a fifty year old.”

Alex winced yet felt no surprise. “I thought so.”

“You’re a gorgeous girl,” Sophie hurried on. “There’s no reason you can’t change your style.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m hopeless. Even when you and I go shopping in the same boutique I come out looking like Laura Ingalls and you come out looking like Carrie Bradshaw. How on earth do you know what to buy?”

“Okay Laura Ingalls,” Sophie declared. “When’s your lunch hour?”

“Twelve-thirty.”

“Meet me here at twelve-thirty then. You and I are going shopping.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Are you kidding? I’ll be Trinny and Susannah. I can’t wait!”

But as Alex wandered through the office towards her desk just moments later she was wondering whether she should be concerned about the fact that the way she dressed suddenly mattered when it never had before? Yet in her heart she already knew the answer: it had something to do with the way JP had treated her the night before.

The bottom line was that she couldn’t forget his reaction when she’d shown him the legal documents she’d prepared. And as she’d lain in bed that morning she’d begun to wonder whether there might be other things she could do that she’d never dreamed herself capable of. Self-belief was bubbling up within her and for some reason it felt important that she looked and dressed like someone who believed in herself too.

As she approached her workstation she expected to see a pile of files, left there by JP from the night before as he’d promised. Strangely though, her desk was bare.

She stopped dead, confused. She wandered into JP’s empty office and checked his desk but no, nothing had been left there either.

Alex was puzzled. Had she misunderstood him about the work he would leave for her that morning? Weren’t there several matters needing her urgent attention? It just didn’t make sense.

“Looking for something?” A woman’s voice literally boomed at her from behind, making her jump and swing around.

“Vera! You’re back! We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“Evidently.” Vera Boyd’s cold, grey eyes were flashing and Alex was sure she could hear a snaky undercurrent to her tone.

Vera was a frightening woman. Alex had always been terrified of her—everyone was.

With David Griffen’s approval, his Senior PA had ruled his litigation department at Griffen Murphy Lawyers for years. Alex had even heard of staff members mysteriously shifted out of litigation if Vera took a dislike to them.

“How was your break?” Alex asked, trying to invest their meeting with some normal social niceties.

Vera’s grey haired bob bounced around her face as she replied, “The break was fine but perhaps I’ve been away too long.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Well it seems that in just one day you’ve managed to elevate yourself to Senior PA.”

Blood turned to ice in Alex’s veins as she absorbed Vera’s barely contained resentment. Alex wished she could face Vera with nerves of steel but the older woman was just too intimidating.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Vera snapped. “I saw the little love letters he left all over the files on your desk this morning. What kind of fool is he if he leaves that kind of responsibility to a sprat like you? He’ll soon learn the way this place works. As for you, you’ve got tickets on yourself, haven’t you? Who do you think you are, doing a lawyer’s work?”

“There was no one available to do it yesterday … it was all urgent.”

“I’m no fool, Alex,” Vera retorted. “We all know the rumour that the firm will only allow one PA per lawyer. If you think I’m going to sit back and let you flirt your way into Jonathan McKenzie’s good books and freeze me out, you can think again.”

Vera ran her eyes over her uncharacteristic but flattering outfit with obvious contempt and outrage rose within Alex as she’d never felt before. How dare Vera remove the work JP had left for her on her desk that morning? And how dare she hint that her dress choice and the work she’d done the day before had anything to do with freezing Vera out as a PA?

“I’ve never believed my job as Jonathan McKenzie’s PA is secure,” Alex grated out coldly. “But until I’m sacked or moved on I will do my job. That includes doing whatever he asks me to do.”

“That’s fine, Alex,” Vera replied, spitting her name as though it sizzled on her tongue. “But you should be aware I’m on to you. I know you think you can bat those big brown eyes and wiggle that cute little backside and the boss will be like putty in your hands but he’ll soon learn it takes more than a pretty face and a pert figure to run an office like this. He’ll soon learn I’ve been around for a few years and know what I’m doing …”

“That’s enough,” Alex interrupted. “I’m not going to stand here while you insult me. I’d like those files back thanks—I’ve got work to do this morning.”

“I’ve already taken care of them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what Jonathan was thinking; a baby PA like you with work like that. It should be with lawyers. That’s where it’s gone.”

“Do you mean you’ve handed on work to others that he asked me to do this morning?” Alex whispered in disbelief. “Who’ve you given the files to?”

“Yes, I’ve handed them on and no, I won’t be telling you who has them.”

“So what am I supposed to say to Jonathan when he asks me whether I’ve done the work?”

“You can tell him I’ve taken care of it, of course,” Vera replied casually before turning on her heel and marching out of JP’s office.

Alex could hardly breathe. For two years she’d had an impersonal but manageable working relationship with Vera Boyd—no more.

Somehow David Griffen’s departure and Jonathan McKenzie’s arrival had changed everything. As far as Vera was concerned the gloves were off. She was not going to risk losing her position as dominatrix of the litigation section over a little pip-squeak like Alex Farrer.

Alex wandered back to her desk, her hands shaking and her heart racing. Vera’s vicious suggestions had left her breathless but was she right? Had she dressed up that day to impress JP and try to keep her job? Was everyone in litigation looking at her and thinking the same thing?

A warm rush of self-conscious embarrassment filled Alex’s cheeks as she fought to overcome an almost overwhelming urge to run out of the building, into the first dress shop she could find and buy the saddest and most unflattering outfit available. Yet changing outfits part way through the day would only make everyone think she was crazy as well as ambitiously cunning.

Oh God, what a morning. To think she’d been looking forward to coming into work and all of a sudden her day was turning into a bigger nightmare than the one before. Perhaps Simon was right. Perhaps she was wasting her time trying to build her career in a legal office when marriage and motherhood were just around the corner anyway.

Alex slumped desolately into her chair. Having absolutely no work to do she spent some more time on the precedents but was completely unproductive. She was far too distracted by the nervous dread with which she waited for JP to arrive and find that not only was she idle but she hadn’t done the things he’d asked her to do.

It was nearly lunchtime before Alex’s phone rang for the first time that day. She’d guessed earlier that Vera had organised for JP’s calls to be diverted to her own phone so when it finally rang it startled her out of her thoughts with a jump. Trying desperately to focus she swallowed and answered it with an efficient sounding ‘hello’.

“Alex, it’s me.”

Alex’s heart leapt. He didn’t have to say who it was. She would have known that voice anywhere. “I’ve just stepped out of a meeting for a minute so I haven’t got long. Has the brief gone out and the other work been done?”

Alex couldn’t reply and silence reigned over the phone. How could she even begin to explain what had happened with Vera that morning and yet JP needed an answer and fast.

“Alex, are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here,” she answered, the blood pounding in her ears.

“Can you answer me then? I don’t have much time.”

“I haven’t done it,” Alex blurted.

“You haven’t done it!”

“No.” Alex knew she should be trying to explain things but couldn’t find the words to do it.

“I thought I could rely on you.” JP’s voice was rising in anger and disbelief on the other end of the line.

“You can, JP …”

But he was too furious to wait for the end of her sentences. “Clearly I can’t. I had a good feeling about you Alex, about how we could work together, but I must be losing my instincts.”

“JP please, let me explain …” Alex begged, but he was too riled with her.

“I haven’t got time to hear your excuses. Anyway, what possible excuse could you have to let me down on this when the notes I left on your desk made it clear you were to deal with these matters first thing this morning. Have you got the files with you?”

“No.”

“Then who does?”

“Vera knows where …”

“Vera? Is she back? Thank goodness. Put me on to her straight away.”

“JP …” Alex began again.

“Now!” he demanded down the phone.

Alex had no choice. With the touch of a couple of buttons she directed his call to Vera’s extension and then dropped her head into her hands and moaned.

She could just imagine the conversation JP was having with his Senior PA right then. Vera would be putting a favourable spin on things so that she came out of the incident looking like the PA of the century and Alex like a walking disaster area—her fate as an unemployed Assistant PA had to be sealed!

“Alex, what are you doing lolling all over the desk when you were supposed to meet me at the lift ten minutes ago?” Sophie was at her side and looking down at her, her hands resting on her hips in irritation.

“Soph, I’m so sorry! I completely forgot about the shopping arrangement.”

“Did you skip your swim this morning? You know how flaky you get when you do.”

“No, I didn’t miss my swim. And I’m fine Sophie, I’ve just had a run in with Vera and Jonathan, that’s all. Do you mind if we take a rain check on our shopping?”

“Yes, I do mind,” Sophie replied without hesitation. “If you’ve had a run in with Vera and the boss then the last thing you should do is mope around here all lunch time. Come on. Let’s go.”

“But I’m not in the right frame of mind for choosing clothing.”

“Don’t worry about that. I am. I’ll choose everything for you. All you have to do is dress up.”

Sophie grabbed Alex’s bag off the back of her chair and strung it over her friend’s shoulder. And it wasn’t long before Alex was admitting to herself that she did feel a lot better for escaping the office for a while.

She spent an hour trying on outfits as Sophie draped her in clothing and accessories. Before long she had a pile of gear on the shop counter and her credit card was running through the machine.

“I just hope I have a job next week to pay for it all,” Alex said to Sophie as the two of them wandered back into the foyer of the building amongst the lunchtime throng. But when Alex saw JP emerge from the lift and unknowingly begin to walk straight towards her she stopped dead in her tracks.

Her next set of instincts told her to turn and run but she was unable to move. A confusing cocktail of anxiety about the outcome of that morning, irritation with him for not allowing her to explain herself and a deeply disturbing desire to be in his company again was coursing its way through to every nerve ending in her body.

Unaware her friend had stopped behind her, Sophie had continued on into the lift, chatting cheerily to the now empty space beside her. Behind her in the crowd, Alex remained rooted to the ground.

JP’s eyes swept over her and then back again, his lips pressing together as his gaze drifted over her figure in the powder-blue suit. And as he approached she waited for the rebuke, yet JP didn’t seem to have any particular interest in launching into a tirade of chastisement. He stood close to her as the crowd jostled them a little, his hands deep in his pockets in his characteristic stance.

Alex lifted her chin to face him. There was no way she would apologise. She’d done nothing wrong. If he wasn’t prepared to listen to her side of the story then that was just too bad.

“Well?” he began finally when she maintained her stony silence.

“Well what?” she grated.

“You owe me an explanation.”

“It’s a bit late now. I’m sure you’ve already had Vera’s take on what happened.”

JP smirked humourlessly as he absorbed the hostility in Alex’s voice. “As a matter of fact, I have. Now I’d like your take.”

“What would be the point? I’m just Vera’s assistant. Why would you take my word over hers? I suppose she’s blamed me for everything that happened this morning.”

“She has.”

Fury and indignation coursed through Alex like floodwaters. “How dare she! Short of going around to every lawyer in the office to beg for the files back there was nothing I could do to get your work done. I wasn’t about to humiliate myself like that just because Vera pulled rank and took them all away from me.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes, it is.”

“So why are you so angry with me?” he queried, raising his eyebrows.

“Because you didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“Perhaps you should look at this from my point of view. I leave an important meeting to find out whether or not my PA’s done the things I asked her to do, only to hear her blabbering unintelligible monosyllables.”

“I was getting to the point when you cut me off!”

“I didn’t have time to wait for you to get to the point!” he dismissed her hotly.

“Then perhaps you shouldn’t jump to conclusions!”

At that point JP rolled his eyes to the heavens and dragged a hand through his hair in exasperation. He appeared to be trying to compose himself before he lowered his gaze to her again and began to speak. “Alex, do you have any idea how much I’ve got on my plate?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“Can you understand how I feel when I find myself dragged out of a meeting to deal with a demarcation dispute between my two PAs? Can you understand I might have trouble finding the patience to allow you ten minutes to give me your side of the story?”

Alex stared at him. Although she still felt annoyed she couldn’t dismiss his point of view. She opened her mouth to make this concession when she was suddenly given an unintentional shove from someone in the crowd behind her and was hurled straight into JP’s arms.

Instinctively she threw her own arms around his neck for support but he was already bearing her weight. His hands were at her waist, warm and strong underneath her suit jacket. She lifted her face to his and was bathed in a white heat radiating from his cobalt blue eyes. They were gleaming very brightly with a need she’d never seen in a man before, a predatory gleam that was at once exciting and terrifying.

He could have let her go then. She was steady enough to stand on her own two feet. But he didn’t. For three long seconds that felt like hours he held her against him, his body heat mingling with her own, the subtle aromas of his musky aftershave filling her senses.

How Alex wished she could explain it away. How she wished she could dismiss it as a meaningless hesitation to act on his part. But JP’s eyes were locked with hers the whole time, confirming the treacherous swing bridge of possibilities that had been thrown up over the canyon dividing them—a canyon more vast than he could ever begin to imagine.

“Are you hurt?” he whispered huskily, urgently.

“No, I’m okay, thank you,” she murmured back and then with a sickening lurch of her stomach she remembered who she was and the promises she’d made to another—Simon.

Somewhere in New Zealand Simon was working hard for their future, unaware that his fiancée was lolling about in the arms of her new boss, her body moving into nothing short of primeval overdrive at his touch.

A deep, all pervading rush of shame swept through her as she extracted herself from JP’s supporting hands to put distance between them.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered quietly.

JP watched her intently, his expression taut with self-restraint. “Don’t be. You liked that as much as I did.”

“I didn’t.”

“Well if that’s what it’s like to hold you when you don’t want me, I’d love to have you in my arms when you do.”

“Don’t JP … please. You’re my boss,” Alex implored, mortified by the all-consuming physical urges that still held her in their grip.

She was at a loss as to how to ward off the effect he was having upon her, ignorant until that moment that men and women could feel for each other what she was feeling for JP. She’d always been sceptical of those chick flicks where couples were almost out of their minds with desire for one another. She’d always assumed they were so far removed from reality it was almost laughable. Yet there she was, in touching distance of a man who she could hardly think straight around, who seemed to reach for a woman inside her no one had ever known before—a woman she hadn’t even dreamed existed until that moment.

“You’re right,” he said after a seemingly interminable silence. “Those comments were unforgivable. I apologise.”

“Let’s just forget it happened,” Alex suggested quickly.

JP nodded in response and his eyebrows drew together. “We need to talk about how we’re going to manage the work allocation from now on.” He straightened and shrugged his shoulders as though that would put the required formality back into their exchange. “I can’t have a situation arise again where I don’t know what’s going on in my own office but I think I have a solution.”

“What is it?”

“Not here,” he replied, shaking his head. “I’m out now for a few hours but I want to talk to you when I get back. Will you wait?” He was pinning her down with his eyes and she couldn’t refuse him anything when he looked at her like that.

“I’ll wait … but this afternoon …”

“I’ve been in the office for the last hour so there’s more work on your desk,” he replied immediately, reading her thoughts. “If by any chance it’s been removed again I want you to call me—but I don’t think that will be necessary.”

And right then Alex knew she wouldn’t have to explain the trouble with Vera that morning. Somehow, JP understood what had happened between his two PAs. He knew she was blameless in the whole affair, despite any account Vera may have given him to the contrary.

JP continued through the foyer then and out of the building into the bright afternoon light as a strange possessive longing for something she needed or wanted surged up in Alex’s chest.

Simon. That was what she needed.

He’d been away too long and she was missing him. That was why her head was scrambled. If she could just see him again she knew her confused feelings for JP would disappear. But seeing Simon was impossible and so she reached for the next best thing.

Alex hit the fast dial button on her mobile phone. After a few rings a familiar voice greeted her from the other end.

“Hi Hun,” Simon’s up-beat voice reached her from thousands of miles away.

“I just wanted to ring, to hear your voice and make sure everything’s okay.”

“Everything’s fine, Al. Why do you ask?”

“No reason. We just haven’t spoken for a few days, that’s all.”

“I know. I know. I was going to call you last night but got caught up in a meeting.”

“That’s okay. I know you’re really busy.”

“How’s everything with you? Has the Grim Reaper arrived?”

“Yes,” Alex said, but hoped the conversation wouldn’t centre on the very man she was desperately trying to put out of her mind.

“How’s he going? As bad as everyone expected?”

“No, not exactly,” Alex replied, flailing around for neutral responses as she ran a trembling hand through her hair.

“Well, if I have my way you won’t have to suffer him for too much longer.”

Alex tensed, knowing Simon was leading up to an announcement of some kind. “What do you mean?”

“Just business. Nothing you need to trouble your pretty little head about.”

Alex hated herself for the irritation that prickled her skin. She was sure Simon didn’t mean to be patronising when he dismissed her like that. Normally it didn’t bother her too much that he wouldn’t discuss business with her—and he never did—but it rankled her today.

“You know how I hate surprises, Simon,” Alex replied with a strong hint in her voice that she wanted to be told what was going on.

“You’ll know soon enough,” he resisted, oblivious to her meaning.

Alex gave up. He’d stopped listening to her on that subject and she knew it would be useless to press. “Are you looking after yourself?” she asked, preferring to change the subject.

“Pretty much, probably a bit too much fast food. But when you’re in and out of meetings you can’t always sit down to a proper meal. Let’s just say I’m looking forward to some of your great home-style cooking—almost as good as my mum’s you know. Oh, that reminds me, guess who was in Auckland and rang me.”

“Who?”

“Your cousin, Monique. She’s been travelling around the North Island.”

“Really, I didn’t know she was over there,” Alex replied, glancing at her watch to see that the afternoon was heading for two o’clock.

“Nor did I. Anyway, it was great to see her. She was staying in an apartment and cooked a meal for me.”

“That was nice of her.”

“Wasn’t it,” he agreed chirpily.

“Simon, I’m sorry this is a short call. I just wanted to say ‘hi’ but I’d better go now, I’m late back from lunch.’

“Okay, no problem. I’ll be talking to you sooner than you think anyway.”

Alex paused on the other end of the line. “Will you? How come?” she queried again at his thinly veiled reference to a change of plans but it was too late. Either the call had dropped out or he’d rung off thinking their conversation was at an end.

Despite the mystery boxes he’d thrown at her Alex was glad she’d called. It was reassuring to hear his steady, self-assured voice on the other end.

She felt back on track again and that was how she was supposed to feel: calm and together and not as though she was on an emotional precipice. Why on earth would she be feeling on a precipice anyway when she had everything a girl could want or need: a devoted fiancé, a loving family and a job she enjoyed, at least in the short term. And with that thought lingering as she headed back to work, Alex felt ashamed of having wondered whether what she had might never feel like enough again.