Falling for the Lawyer

chapter Ten


The day was already heating up like a pressure cooker even though it was barely eight-thirty in the morning. Making things worse was the oppressively hot westerly wind howling up Bridge Street as Alex wandered towards her office building, exhaustion settling like lead weight into every muscle of her body. For after her torrid half-hour phone call with Simon the night before she’d had no sleep at all.

Tossing and turning all night her mind had played back the endless round of blurted apologies and explanations. Yet by the end of the phone call nothing had been resolved between them except the most serious thing of all: their long relationship was coming to an end.

They’d decided to meet in the foyer of her building after work that day so that they could go somewhere private and talk things through. But Alex knew there was no turning back.

Simon was devoted and decent but he would never be the man for her. And she would never be the woman for him. He’d fallen in love with a dream girl and for three long years she’d let him live the dream. She would never forgive herself for doing that to him because now the dream was lifting like a summer morning’s mist. But she couldn’t pretend for a minute longer that she was anything more than who she was: an ordinary girl, falling in love for the first time, longing to stop dreaming and start living—the ordinary girl JP had noticed when she was still well hidden under layers of muddy, bedraggled clothing.

Alex hesitated outside the building. Simon’s misery weighed heavily upon her spirits and she felt totally ill equipped to walk into an office dominated by JP’s phone calls, clients and staff. As always he would be like an omnipotent, inescapable presence within and it took every ounce of her willpower to step into the foyer’s perpetually revolving doors.

When minutes later she walked out of the lift at level twenty-three the last person she expected to see was waiting for her in reception. Her father sat perched on the edge of a chair looking small and uneasy amidst the elaborate décor of Griffen Murphy Lawyers.

Alex was dumbfounded.

Her parents never visited her at work, not even when they were visiting the city. She’d sometimes wondered whether they might be intimidated by the severe, corporate surroundings of her law firm. For even though her father had run a successful building business for forty years, he and Mary avoided busy, crowded places now, preferring a quiet life at home surrounded by their family.

Peter Farrer struggled onto his wobbly knees when he saw Alex walking towards him. Holding out his arms he pulled her close.

“This is a nice surprise,” Alex smiled down at her diminutive father. “Where’s Mum?” They were rarely apart.

“She’s at the dentist, poor love. I can’t stay too long.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yes, yes. Just a routine check-up.”

“Oh okay, that’s good,” Alex nodded, still wondering why he’d made the effort to come in to see her. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“No I’m fine. I’ve just had one.” Peter Farrer was looking around himself anxiously.

Alex bit down on her bottom lip. Something was bothering her father and she was about to ask him what it was when the lift doors opened and JP McKenzie sauntered into reception rolling an enormous trolley of folders behind him.

Alex froze, helplessly railing at herself to reel in her gaze as she drank in the sight of him, so incredibly gorgeous in his navy suit and open necked white shirt—how could she ever have thought his looks ordinary?

JP noticed Alex and an unreadable expression crossed his face. There was a hesitation in his gait momentarily but he then changed direction to move towards her and her father. At that point Peter Farrer saw him too and Alex noticed the delighted smile that spread across her father’s face.

JP held out his hand and shook Peter’s warmly, keeping his look well averted from Alex’s. It was a stab in the heart but she knew JP would be true to his word of the night before: she was history and he didn’t care if she knew it.

“Are you going to charge me for that handshake?” Peter Farrer asked, his eyes shining teasingly.

“Aye, but don’t worry. Family of staff are entitled to a discount,” JP quipped back quickly, his mouth playing with a smirk before adding, “Four hundred an hour for you.”

“Oh no!” Alex’s father responded, laughing brightly.

“I didn’t think you’d be back until lunchtime,” Alex broke in, her voice barely concealing its nervous tremor.

JP turned towards her slowly as though reluctant to expend the effort on the movement, his cutting look finally slashing a swathe of agony through her insides. “I saw the client again early this morning. I can do the rest from here. How’s Mrs Farrer?” JP turned back to Alex’s father.

“She’s well. She would have liked to have seen Alex too but she’s in the dentist’s chair.”

“Why don’t you bring her here afterwards? Have you seen where Alex works, through those doors?”

“No we haven’t but we’d better not today. We have a train to catch.”

“Maybe some other time then.”

“That would be terrific,” Peter replied before changing tack and asking whether JP had seen the soccer on the TV late the night before, a mutual passion they’d discovered when JP had been at his home.

JP flashed the briefest of blue-eyed looks at Alex who could feel the blush spreading up her neck, through her cheeks and into the roots of her hair. “Ah … no,” he began hesitantly. “It wasn’t on until after midnight and I was … fully occupied at that time.”

“You missed a great game. A great game.” Peter Farrer effused.

JP and Peter chatted for a few minutes about the respective strengths and weaknesses of various football teams. Meanwhile, Alex began to fidget and glance around; JP had an office to run and yet he seemed completely comfortable about whiling away his time with his PA’s father so that he could discuss football!

“Hang on, I’ve just remembered something,” JP declared and reached into his suit jacket for his wallet. After fishing around within it he took out two tickets of some kind and thrust them into Peter Farrer’s hand.

“What are these?”

“They’re for the A-league match at the stadium on Saturday night,” JP explained.

“I can’t accept them,,” Peter protested. “That’s far too generous.”

Alex could tell her father was bowled over by the gesture.

“Of course you can take them,” JP insisted. “They’re corporate box seats so you’ll have a great view. Do you know anyone who’d like the second ticket?”

“Of course, but I can’t …”

“Peter, take them. Please. I’d like you to have them.”

Alex watched as her father gave JP a short, sharp male nod conveying all the gratitude and delight he was feeling. But then JP was excusing himself and without looking at Alex again he disappeared through the door behind them to the back offices beyond reception.

“At the ripe old age of seventy I may have to take back all the things I’ve said about lawyers.” Peter Farrer then turned to Alex and added, “Particularly if my daughter is going to be one.”

Alex looked long and hard at her father. Was this why he’d arrived in her office that morning—to let her know she had his support?

“Nothing’s settled yet, Dad. It may not happen.”

“Well that’s all right, too,” he replied simply. “So long as you know you have your mother and me behind you, no matter what you decide … and that goes for any part of your life.”

“Thank you,” Alex whispered croakily, guessing he was referring to more than just her career choices.

“Your mother told me you’re unhappy. She said you feel we’ve pushed you into certain things,” Peter explained uncertainly. He wasn’t adept at heart to hearts, particularly with his daughter.

“I was unfair to Mum on the phone yesterday,” Alex confessed as she wiped away tears that had sprung up from nowhere. “It isn’t her fault. None of this is her fault, or yours. You and Mum …”

“Alexandra, let me say my bit,” Peter interrupted. “I’ve been thinking and your mother and I have been talking. The thing is, you may be right. You’re a good girl. You’re mother and I are so proud. We just want the best for you. You were our miracle baby when we’d long given up any hope of children and so you became the centre of our universe. And I know we’re elderly and old fashioned. We don’t really understand the world you move in and to be honest, I think we’ve been too hard on you—pushing you in certain directions. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

Alex nodded, overwhelmed at the enormity of the admission from her proud, single-minded father.

“You need to make up your own mind about who and what’s best for you. We know you’ll make the right choice and we’ll be there whatever you decide. That’s all I wanted to say.”

“You know already, don’t you Dad. You know there’s not going to be a wedding with Simon. It’s over—as of last night.

Peter Farrer nodded quickly. “You’re mother and I guessed that would happen and that’s okay. As I said, we just want you to be happy and we’re there for you—always.”

Alex wrapped her arms around her father and clung onto him as he hugged her back. But then he was shuffling off to the lift. He had said what he wanted to say from the bottom of his heart and with great love but he would linger no longer, uncomfortable with emotional displays.

Lost in troubled thoughts Alex turned and wandered through the door to the offices behind reception, and even in her distraction noticed straight away that most of the workstations were empty. She wondered where everyone was and then she heard JP’s voice; it could be very loud at times. He was leading a robust discussion in the conference room. Picking up the odd word here and there Alex guessed the topic was rugby. Plans were being made and strategies laid down for the match the following day: litigation versus commercial or in other words, JP McKenzie versus Justin Murphy. Without hesitation she walked as quickly as possible past the open conference room door. She was in no mood for office rugby matches or another run in with JP.

“Alex! I need you in here!” JP shouted above the general din. She stopped dead in her tracks before turning around and walking reluctantly into the room, cursing the radar he threw out whenever she was around.

Lawyers and PAs were gathered. There was a lot of laughing, finger pointing, wise cracks and shouting about who should or shouldn’t be on the team for the match against the commercial section of the firm. JP had a notebook in his hand and was leaning on the lectern in one corner of the room. As she entered he looked across at her with little acknowledgement.

“Okay. Alex is here so we’re up to nine,” he shouted over the light-hearted cacophony of noise.

“Who wants girls’ germs on the team? Not me!” Michael Porter, one of the junior lawyers shouted as he winked at Alex teasingly.

“Now listen,” JP announced with mock impatience, a wry smile on his lips. “Commercial think they’ve got all the endurance and that litigators are just a bunch of mangy, twenty-second sprinters. I know Alex can swim fifty lengths of a swimming pool without missing a beat so I’ll have at least one staff member who won’t keel over with a heart attack—unlike most of you blokes.” With that there was an onslaught of boos and cheers.

“Do I have any say in this?” Alex asked, just loud enough to be heard by JP over the racket. Lifting his eyebrows he gave her a stern, slow shake of the head.

Alex nodded blankly as if to say ‘I thought so’, and turning on her heel walked out of the room.

It was useless to argue.

When JP wanted something, nothing and nobody could stop him. He’d decided to make her play rugby the next day, despite what had happened between them the night before and despite the fact he would guess that rugby was out of her comfort zone. But knowing JP that was precisely why he was making her do it.


“So you’re still here!” Vera Boyd drawled with a humourless smile that clashed with the snakiness in her voice.

“Still where?” Alex shot back in irritation.

She knew she shouldn’t have gone in search of Vera, but she’d returned from lunch to find JP had disappeared from the office after his rugby recruitment drive leaving only a few jobs for her, one of which involved lengthy and convoluted amendments to Mark Jackson’s statement. She’d completed those and unable to bear sitting around and thinking about the events overtaking her personal life, had resolved to ask Vera if she needed help with anything, despite her better instincts.

“Still in Jonathan McKenzie’s office?”

“Clearly.” Alex was too tired to conceal the sarcasm in her tone.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it then,” Vera tossed at her in a bored fashion. Only then did Alex notice that all the threat had left Vera’s voice since they had last spoken. She wondered whether she should be worried about that.

“You’ll have your time cut out then. I don’t envy you. I can’t understand a thing that man says or does.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Haven’t you noticed he speaks in riddles?”

“Not really. His instructions are brief but usually pretty clear.”

“And as for his handwriting, I can’t read a word of it. He’s quite impossible to work for generally, you know. He shouts out of his office when he wants something. He gets impatient if you don’t understand what he’s talking about instantly. He wants me to change everything David Griffen and I set up. I just can’t work for someone like that,” she finished primly.

“What are you saying, Vera?” Alex’s pulse was racing as once again her future seemed to be hanging in the balance. “Are you moving away from JP’s office?”

Vera gawked at Alex as if she was the stupidest person she’d ever met. “Don’t you know yet? Jonathan called me this morning. He said that in light of my expertise as a high-level PA he wanted me to work for Caroline Cartwright and settle her in.”

Alex gaped at Vera dumbstruck.

“There’s no need to look like that, Alex,” Vera went on superciliously. “You should be grateful your job with Jonathan is secure.” With that she turned back to her computer screen, giving Alex the clear signal that the conversation was over.

Alex wandered back towards her desk in a stupor.

What on earth was JP’s game plan?

Wouldn’t he have leapt upon a PA reshuffle opportunity to get her out of his office after his ultimatum of the night before? Yet moving Vera sideways to Caroline’s office and making her his sole PA didn’t seem consistent with that. She ran her hands through her hair in confusion, unable to make out what was going on at all.

Hearing JP’s voice in his office she picked up Mark Jackson’s amended affidavit and wandered in. Her eyes were lowered to the document, double-checking the formal parts on the front page, as she approached his desk.

“I thought you might want this back straight away …” she began as she looked up from the page in front of her but then stopped dead.

Perching on the side of JP’s desk was without a doubt the most stunningly beautiful woman Alex had ever seen in the flesh, and somehow she knew instinctively that it had to be Caroline Cartwright.

She had the peaches and cream skin that only women of the highest northern latitudes could retain. Her hair was platinum in colour and hung like silk to her shoulders. She was tall and slender in her fitted silver-blue suit and she looked across at Alex with opaque grey eyes, regarding her with the quiet composure of a cat.

JP was standing very close to her; the two of them had been talking in hushed tones. Alex was mortified she’d disturbed their private moment.

“I’m sorry,” she gushed, feeling herself turn pink. “I didn’t know … I didn’t realise …” But she couldn’t finish her sentence. She had to take a deep breath to steady herself before she lost her cool completely.

JP straightened. Both he and Caroline were staring at her and Alex had never felt more self-conscious in her life.

“Alex, I’d like you to meet Caroline Cartwright. Alex is my PA—for the time being,” he added gratuitously, his expression remaining stony and distant.

“Hello,” Alex responded.

“Hello, Alex,” Caroline replied pleasantly.

She had the voice of a woman who’d been raised with every privilege life could offer. It was lilting, with a musical, unhurried cadence and Alex suspected it had commanded the attention of prime ministers and royalty alike.

“It’s Mark Jackson’s affidavit,” Alex explained, approaching JP just close enough to reach out and hand him the document. It was quivering a little with the tremble in her hand and he flashed a knowing look at her as he took it.

“Thank you,” he acknowledged quietly, searching her face before she turned and rushed towards the door. But Caroline Cartwright’s tinkly, amused comment reached Alex’s ears before she was barely through it, “Funny little mouse!”

With that Alex covered her mouth and ran towards the ladies bathroom. She thought she might be torn apart by the burgeoning ache in her chest as she finally burst into a cubicle, locked the door and lowered herself onto the closed toilet lid, fighting for breath.

Oh God, to have a woman like Caroline hand down such a contemptuous judgment of her, and in front of JP too. A funny little mouse: Alex had never been so humiliated in all her life.

And burying her face in her hands she promptly burst into tears, the unbearable pain lashing her like countless whip strokes that she couldn’t escape, no matter how much she twisted and turned.

All day her insides had been coiling up into a taut spool of unhappiness, self-blame and despair. And now her life was crashing down around her.

Simon was gone, devastated by her sudden demolition of their long relationship. Her parents too, deeply hurt by her professed unhappiness, had set her free and withdrawn. Next it would be JP who would vanish from her life—just as he’d promised the night before.

She’d finally found the freedom to be who she wanted to be, only to discover that she was about to end up lonelier and unhappier than she’d ever thought possible. She hardly knew herself, cut loose as JP had said from everything that had anchored and defined her until that point.

Fighting back deep, painful sobs Alex bit down on her knuckle to silence herself, swaying backwards and forwards in repetitive motion. Gradually, the searing agony of total emotional breakdown eased and an eerie quiet calm replaced the tumult. Little by little clear, rational convictions began to fill the vacuum that heartache had carved out within her.

For so long she’d been immersed in being someone’s daughter, fiancée or employee she’d hardly ever thought of herself as someone with an independent existence. And yet there she was, sitting in the ladies’ bathroom of all places, facing the life-changing revelation that the person she should have been looking to all along for the strength she needed to be herself, was herself.

Caroline’s stinging belittlement had simply been the straw that had broken the camel’s back. But Alex vowed she would never again rely on anyone else to distinguish her. She would rise or fall on her own merits and on her own terms. In every part of her life she would be true to herself.

She sighed resignedly then. But for JP her old life would not have splintered around her. He’d pushed and pushed until finally she was forced to see that everything she’d built around herself was a house of cards. She wished she could feel angry with him but she couldn’t. She could only ever love him for seeing her for what she was and not accepting anything less from her. He believed in her, more profoundly than she’d ever believed in herself—until that moment.

And with that belief came the realisation that she had fallen in love with JP McKenzie.

She loved the way he could read her like a book. She loved that he laughed at her when she was getting far too serious. She loved the way he made her feel when he held her, when he looked at her with those incredible eyes. But most of all, she loved that she finally knew what it felt like to want to spend the rest of your life with one person.

But with a start Alex sensed that she was no longer alone in the bathroom. Someone had entered and was calling her name quietly.

It was Sophie.

Alex stood and opened the cubicle door before emerging to see her friend’s anxious look.

“Alex, are you all right? Jonathan McKenzie came to me saying he thought you may be unwell and could I check if you were in the bathroom. Are you sick?”

“No, just exhausted.”

“You look dreadful! Come on, it’s right on five o’clock. Let’s get out of here and we can go somewhere and talk.”

Alex bit down on her lip and looked wildly at the ceiling to try and fight off the tears that threatened again. “I can’t. I have to meet Simon.”

“Can’t you put him off tonight? You clearly need some girl therapy.”

Alex shook her head in reply.

“Why not?” Sophie argued insistently. “What’s so important that you need to meet Simon tonight?”

“We broke off our engagement over the phone last night. I’m meeting him one last time so that we can deal with it face to face.”

Sophie stared at Alex in disbelief. “You’re kidding,” she whispered. Alex shook her head.

“What a nightmare,” Sophie murmured in a state of shock as she rested her hands on Alex’s shoulders. “No wonder you look like something out of the body snatchers.”

“I need a favour,” Alex asked, urgency in her voice.

“Anything,” Sophie agreed nodding.

“I need you to go and tell Jonathan I’m not feeling well and that I’m going home. Tell him it’s just a headache. Then I need you to find my handbag and bring it back here so that I can get across to the lift and meet Simon downstairs.”

“Well I’ll try but Jonathan was pretty insistent I bring you to his office. He’s not going to be happy.”

But Sophie did as she was asked and Alex was forced to wait what felt like endless minutes as she paced the ladies bathroom. When Sophie finally returned she looked triumphant.

“Mission accomplished!” she announced. “He was on the phone so I did the handbag thing first. I’ll have to go straight back now to let him know you’ve gone home. Are you going to be all right?”

Alex nodded. “Thank you, Soph. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” The two girls clung onto one another before Alex squeezed her friend’s hands, gave her a long reassuring look and then made her way quickly out of the bathroom and across to the lifts.

Once on the ground floor she found a quiet, well-concealed corner to stand in while she waited for Simon, and she was soon thanking her lucky stars she had because JP appeared out of nowhere.

With her pulse racing Alex watched him as he thrust his hands deep into his pockets and walked straight past her, across the foyer and out of the building. She could still catch glimpses of him through the revolving doors as he stood on the street outside and turned his head from side to side as though he was looking for someone, but for once his radar failed him.

He disappeared amidst the moving sea of pedestrians outside just before Simon wandered into the building. Unlike JP, Simon saw her immediately and with a haunted look he approached her and took her in his arms. Alex sunk into them, the temptation to regress back into their familiarity and safe harbour almost overwhelming. But she quickly prised herself away. She’d done enough damage in his life already and would not play with his feelings any longer.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked as they wandered out into the heat of the early evening and paused outside. Alex looked around nervously but thankfully JP had vanished.

“I don’t mind. Anywhere where we can talk and have a drink,”

“Why don’t we go down to the Frog and Toad … look, isn’t that your boss?”

Alex swung around in the direction Simon was facing. JP stood a short distance away with a hand on an open cab door as Caroline Cartwright slipped into the back seat ahead of him. He was motionless as he searched the crowded street. But his gaze bypassed Alex and Simon altogether and with that he turned and folded himself into the cab next to Caroline and slammed the door behind himself. And as he did so Alex watched on, mesmerised by the irrevocable finality of that moment, as JP’s taxi pulled out into the bustle of the traffic and disappeared.