*****
Pam was barely holding herself together. Emotions trembled through her body, making her legs shaky. She hated the helpless feeling that plagued her. Her mental state wasn’t much better; it flitted from wanting to be strong then back to wanting to run and hide so everything just went away. Her hopes were that everyone forgot what had happened, and that no one would see the weakness she had displayed in her relationship with that bastard. What she wouldn’t give to turn back the hands of time so she never would have gone on that first date with Kenny Lawrence. Soon everything was going to come out, and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle it; she was barely hanging on as it was. Glancing down at her growing stomach, she knew without a doubt, she had to hang on. She had to be strong…she had no choice. She had to handle it. This wasn’t just about her anymore.
Feeling the strength of Duncan’s large hand where it rested on the small of her back gave her mixed emotions. Would he hate her once he found out how weak she had been? Would he look at her in disgust? Could she handle his rejection? Soon she would find out the answer to all of those questions, and that thought made her stomach clench in pain. Grabbing her stomach, she moaned under her breath.
“Are you okay?” Duncan stopped her, turning her toward him, his golden eyes filled with worry.
Pam could only nod. The large lump in the back of her throat prevented her voicing the lie. She was far from okay.
“Are you in pain?” His concern echoed in the deep rumble of his voice.
Swallowing hard, Pam shook her head.
“Do not lie to me.” Duncan frowned, but kept his voice low without anger.
Knowing she had to say something, she cleared her tight throat. “Just a little hungry,” she finally answered. It wasn’t a total lie. Her stomach felt hollow, and she knew that wasn’t good. Even though food was the last thing she wanted, she needed to eat.
Duncan stared at her a second longer before nodding. “Never hesitate to ask me for anything you need.” He gently squeezed her arms before grasping her hand. “Let’s get you something to eat before we talk to Sloan. I’m sure Sid has something in the kitchen.”
Only having been at the VC Headquarters twice, Pam was totally lost in the maze of hallways. She let Duncan lead the way, but stopped cold before he pulled her into a kitchen and dining area where people she lied to could be. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside to face whatever came her way.
All noise stopped as everyone stared at her. Pam’s eyes started to go to the floor, but she spotted Nicole and couldn’t look away. Even though she had talked to Nicole briefly over the phone the last three months, so much had been left unsaid. Nicole stood and walked around the table to stand a few feet away from Pam, her eyes taking in her now one golden eye before going straight to her stomach.
“And everyone thought I’d be the first one knocked up.” Nicole broke the silence. “Looks like you finally got the boobs you always wanted.”
“Yeah, no more training bras for me,” Pam replied, a laugh and sob trembling from her lips as a tiny piece of her heart mended.
Nicole took two steps toward her and opened her arms. “If you don’t get over here and hug me, I’m going to kick your ass, breed.”
Pam rushed into her friend’s arms, holding tight. She had been so lonely for so long that she soaked in any type of kindness.
“I’m so sorry,” Pam whispered. Knowing she had held the hug too long, Pam reluctantly let go and stepped back.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Nicole shot a frown at her, but soon was grinning excitedly. “When are you due?”
Again, Pam wanted to hug her friend. So far, her being pregnant wasn’t being brought up. It was as if a dirty secret was being revealed. As if no one said anything, it would go away. She didn’t want it to go away. She was having this baby with or without the support of the ones around her. “I’m not sure. I couldn’t find a doctor who would see me.”
Duncan walked up beside her, placing his hand on her shoulder. “We’ll find you a doctor.” He nodded as if it was already done.
“I’ll make some calls.” Nicole winked at her, and then slapped her hands together. “My God, I’m going to be an aunt. Should I go with Auntie Nicole or just Aunt Nicole?”
“Come on. Let’s see what Sid has to eat over there.” Duncan rolled his eyes as he led Pam over to where Sid stood busy at the stove. She had seen him eyeing her and felt nervous approaching the Warrior she didn’t know well.
“What are you craving?” Sid looked down at her, his face emotionless. “If I don’t have it, I’ll get it. If I don’t know how to make it, I’ll learn.”
“Why? Is Rachael Ray having a segment on Foods Pregnant Women Crave?” Nicole snorted, heading back to her seat at the large kitchen table.