This Star Won't Go Out

Another memory? Going jogging at, like, 7 in the morning in Albertville. We were trying to “get fit” (12-year-old me and 15-year-old Ang, lol). So, I remember running almost all the way to the Briggs’ (their house was far, OK?) and then suddenly, without warning, I had to poop. Badly. What was I to do?! We were so far from home! But we ran—fast—past some goats,10 past some morning starers,11 and I ran to the toilet and pooped. You know that feeling when, oh dear goodness you have to poop, and then you do? Yeah, it felt like that. It feels . . . like . . . amazing.


After I got sick I feel as though Angie and I faded a bit. We had not much in common, with her having a “teenage life,” and me having a “lazy-butt invalid” one.


Actually, quite recently we talked about that . . . it’s hard, to stay in touch and be friends when you’ve become used to the routine you’re in . . . I love that girl, and she has a freaking lot of potential, and she can be so strong. She’s a good sister to have. I hope I can make more memories with her very soon.




There’s something else I’d like to say about Grahambo. After his Doctor Who episode he asked, “Again, why do you have cancer?” And I, never being prepared to answer questions well, talked about cells (which he knew of! “from TV”) and how sometimes people are born with cancer in their cells. I’d have said something more philosophical, but . . . I . . . didn’t? Eh. Anyway, Graham stated, “If I could have two wishes, one would be to have more time to hang out with Amber. And the other would be that your cancer would go away, forever.”


Abby is one of those good first children, You know what I mean? Maybe she had a rebellious stage . . . I clearly remember being with Alexa and . . . dropping her off? when suddenly we had to drive to Walmart so you and Mom could get Abby and Keri from security. Guess they were there for stealing a necklace lol. Abby tells me it wasn’t even a good one. 12


I have good memories with Abbs . . . playing “shop” in Saudi; it’s where we’d13 set up shop w/14 our beanie babies and like . . . trade them . . . much funner15 when you’re younger, lemme tell you. Recently I tried playing this w/ Graham and Abe, and dear me it was boring. Woow.


But so and, I’m using a new pen, just so you are nicely aware. Lol jk16, I found my fav pen again!!!!!!!!!


Abby has always been a good sister. When we lived in Albertville, mainly Angie and sort of I didn’t like hanging with the big A. Why? Well because! When she was there it was because she was VISITING from HER friend-space. And she was inVADING OUR friend-space. You’d always make us bring her with our group which was just HORRIBLE because everyone thought she was hilarious/great/a new face INCLUDING, Evangeline and mine’s LOVE INTERESTS. Namely, Ryan and Bruce. How in the world could you?!


But besides that, I’ve always felt totally comfortable with Abbs, I mean, people are meant to feel comfortable with family, but sometimes you have a good connection with people, and I’m like that with her; she’s great. She’s also HORRIBLE in that she feels no guilt in teasing me despite me being a SICK, PALE CHILD. It’s disgraceful if you ask me. 17


Abby now is great, and she is so good at taking care of me. She really is. And as I said earlier, she has no problem teasing me18, which shows she’s comfortable with my millions of cords. – GO ABBY!!!!! –


After all my Abby-praising I’d like to point out that she’s not the only sister I look up to. I mean, Abby IS someone I look up to, but Angie is too, in some ways.


Angie’s good at writing and gosh am I jealous of that. She’s also really just a person I like, so yeah.


Another person I look up to and feel the need to talk about is someone we all know and love . . . KERI LYNN HINKLEY. [“WHY WOULD YOU DO IT, FATHER. WHY”]




So one of the first memories of Keri Lynn “Earl Sister” Hinkley is: Graham and I were playing a video game19 on the couch in the Medway farmhouse when Abb and Keri walked in. I was about 8 so they were . . . 13/14? Lmao. that’s so young, essh. So, Keri walked in, said hello, and the first thing I wondered was if she was Indian. Of course, I didnt ask. Oh no, I’m too busy playing dumb games and being shy. But w/e, I found out eventually that she is not, in fact, Indian – SHE’S JUST SO TAN, Y’KNOW? Is she Caucasian or like Italian or w/e???




And but so, somehow this tan, sarcastic girl wriggled her way into our family and now I consider her a sister. It’s cool. Because like, even if Abb and Keri weren’t friends we’d still have Keri in our lives. And I’m cool wit’ that.


Keri a few nights ago slept in my room (the dining room one!) and we talked for a little bit about everything and it was nice. Very nice. Love that girl, seriously do.


Mom is such a wonderful person, did you know that?