The Saddest Song

Chapter 31

Rainey

Saturdays’ were not the same since Max and I had parted ways. Instead of meeting Sophie and Rylee at Colin’s house, I now met them at whatever mall or activity we had planned. Sometimes Caitlynn joined us, sometimes Kara did too. Mostly it was just the three of us and I cherished our time together. They had both become dear friends.

On this particular Saturday rain was in the forecast so we opted for an indoor mall. Rylee was looking for sandals and by lunchtime she had tried on dozens of pairs and rejected each and every one.

“Rainey, we need to tell you something,” Sophie said, as we read our menus.

I was trying to decide between a burger and a salad when my heart lurched at her words. “What?” I asked quietly, waiting to hear that Max had a girlfriend or something equally horrible. From her tone I knew it could only be about Max.

“Next weekend Max is going to open for Colin at a concert.”

“Oh! That’s wonderful! You scared me,” I said laughing, “I thought it was something bad.”

“No, not at all. It’s good news, it’s just that there is this song that he will be singing. It’s called, “The Saddest Song.”

“He finally wrote the words? Is it about Garrett?” I had always wanted him to finish it.

“We haven’t heard it yet, “Ry said, but it definitely isn’t about Garrett. They said it’s about you.”

“Me?”

They nodded at the same time.

“Colin says that Max put so much emotion into that song because he is miserable without you,” Sophie said, reaching across the table to put her hand on mine.

“Don’t you miss him too?” Rylee added.

“Every moment of every day,” I said, without hesitation.

“Then why are you two torturing yourselves like this?”

I had no answer.

“Rainey, you have to go to the concert and hear his song.”

“Oh, I can’t Sophie. I would probably make him uncomfortable.”

“Nope. He won’t even know you are there, “ Rylee grinned.

“What do you mean?”

“After he gets on the stage we are going to sneak you in backstage.”

They looked at each other and seemed happy with their plan.

“No. No way.”

“It was actually Ethan that thought of it. He thinks you really need to hear it.”

“No. I can’t. You guys don’t understand.”

Sophie sighed as if she expected to have to talk me into it. “You are over thinking things, Rainey. Max obviously loves you and we know you love him. We aren’t blind.”

“He’s my boyfriend’s brother. It’s so messed up.”

“Rainey, be honest with yourself. Garrett has been gone a long time. You are allowed to love another person.”

“I do love him, but..”

“Not like a brother!” Rylee interrupted. “Don’t you dare say that! Nobody kisses their brother the way you kissed Max on New Year ’s Eve.”

I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment and covered my face with my hands. I groaned, “This is a mess!”

“No, it’s stupid. I’m sorry Rainey, but you need to let your heart make its own decisions. You and Max are perfect together. Quit fighting fate. You can’t win. You’re just stomping on your own happiness.”

“And Max’s!” Rylee added. “You are both completely miserable apart.”

“Please Rainey, please just go listen to him sing and if you want to leave afterwards he won’t even know you were ever there.”

“Okay, “I said, giving in. They both looked pretty pleased with themselves and I hoped that I was making the right decision.

A few days later I had decided that I just couldn’t go. If Max wanted me to be there then he would have invited me. I hated to disappoint the girls but it couldn’t be helped. I didn’t mention it when I went into the shelter on Wednesday after school and it wasn’t until I was about to leave that Kara spoke up.

“You aren’t going to Max’s show, are you?” She didn’t even look my way as she said it, just kept measuring out dog food into a row of lined up bowls.

“I haven’t decided yet,” I said, sighing. It was no use trying to put anything past Kara.

“They just think you should hear the song he wrote about you.”

“Max writes a lot of songs, his lyrics could be about anything. They could be about a fictional relationship.”

“They aren’t,” she said, stopping to look me in the eyes.

“Damn it, Kara. So he wrote a song about me, so what? It doesn’t mean anything is going to change, it doesn’t mean we will suddenly fall into each other’s arms.”

“Do you want that to happen?”

No sense lying to a psychic, I just gave in and said, “More than anything.”

“This is going to decide your future with Max. Promise me you will go.”

I started to ask her questions that I hoped she would answer but she cut me off.

“I promised Max I wouldn’t tell either of you anything about the future, but this is the advice I would give you as a friend. You need to go.”

I would go.





Max

As natural as it was to me playing the guitar and singing my songs, I expected to be a bundle of nerves at my first public show. I wasn’t. I was the opposite of nervous, completely calm. I was going to go out there and give it all I had and hope that the audience would like what they heard. Ethan and Colin convinced me to save my best song for last and so The Saddest Song would end my set.

Maybe my lack of nerves was because I was playing to an audience of strangers. I hadn’t invited any of my friends, or my parents for that matter. I wanted to be focused on my music not who was listening to it. Of course, part of my wished Rainey would be there sitting in the front row.

I arrived at the club and met Max and Colin backstage. The girls were there and we hung out while the main doors opened and the crowd could be heard talking while they waited for the show to begin. A few friends of Colin’s joined us backstage, including Lalie. She was dressed in a short tight dress and when she hugged me she held on a little longer than I was comfortable with. She was hanging around us every weekend now and even though she was a couple years older than I was she made it clear she was interested.

“Max, I love this!” She said, running her hands along my jaw. I hadn’t shaved in awhile and the scruff was on its way to becoming a beard. I liked it, I felt like it made me look older than eighteen. I thought my music would be taken more seriously if I looked older.

Colin came to my rescue, literally taking Lalie’s shoulders and moving her aside.

“Sorry Lalie-Pop, gotta get him ready for the stage.”

He pulled me away from everyone.

“You got this, you know that, right?”

I nodded, “Yeah, I’m good.”

“No first time jitters?”

“Nope.”

“You’re a natural, Max. They’re gonna love you. Go get ‘em!” he said, slapping me on the back and I went through the stage door, not looking back.