The Saddest Song

Chapter 29

Rainey

I didn’t know what to do when I saw Max’s truck at the shelter. I couldn’t bear to go inside and see him not want to see me. Looking at the truck made my heart ache. Without thinking about it I grabbed a piece of notebook paper and wrote on it then tucked it in his windshield. I quickly got back in my car and headed to Starbucks to get Ice Teas for Kara and I. When I returned to the shelter he was gone and I pulled my car into his empty space.

Kara opened the door for me and I handed her the tea. “Green tea, extra ice, no sweetener.” I said, repeating her usual order.

“I love you,” she said, taking it from me.

“Kara, I almost ran into him.”

“I know, Annie escaped again.”

“I figured there had to be a reason. He makes sure to avoid me everywhere.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Kara, it’s not fair that just because Max asked you to you won’t tell me what you see in my future.”

“He made me promise, Rainey. I’m sorry. I can tell you that he misses you just as much as you miss him. That boy loves you.”

“This is a huge mess.”

“Well. I think it’s time you asked yourself the big questions Rainey. Be honest with yourself.”

“What big questions?”

“Rainey, if the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?”

“Find Max as fast as I could.”

“What would you say?”

“I would tell him how much I miss him, and how sorry I am.”

“What else?”

“Kara, this is dumb. The world isn’t ending tomorrow.”

“Pretend Rainey. Nothing can change until you are comfortable with your own feelings.”

“Okay, I’d tell him that I love him.”

“Like a brother?”

“No.”

“Well, that is progress.” Kara smiled, “Max knows you needed to be away from him to really learn how you felt about him. You needed to lose him to see it clearly.”

“He said that?”

“No. he said nothing. You are on the right track Rainey. Now I’m not saying another thing. Want to give our friend Annie a bath?”

I felt lighter as I headed to get Annie’s bath ready. I just wondered, without the world ending, how would I get my chance to talk to Max?





Max

After dinner I helped mom with the dishes and then went upstairs to work on my music. Colin had told me to choose four of my best songs to play at a show in March. He was opening for a singer songwriter and I would play a quick set in front of him. Up to this point I hadn’t played for anyone outside of friends and family. I knew Colin felt I was ready to be up on stage and I agreed. I had dozens of completed songs and of those, there were at least twenty that I felt could work for the show. I spent an hour going through them but my mind kept replaying my conversation with Kara.

She wanted me to finish The Saddest Song, but why? I began to strum my guitar and the music took me over. Soon I was singing the chorus and before I knew it hours had passed and the song was written. The words had flowed out of me, emotions I had been avoiding making me write lyrics that were simple and honest.

I laid my guitar down and let my mind wander to where it always wanted to go. Visions of long dark hair and big dark eyes made my body ache for her presence. My cell phone sitting silent on my nightstand was calling to me. Could I text her, go back to being her friend? Two months ago it seemed like torture to stay in the friend zone. Tonight it felt like it would be better than nothing. Because I had nothing. Nothing except a sad song.