Reason 22: You smile when you kiss
Wait. What did she just say? “Huh?”
“I want you to kiss me now.” Her lips pull up into that amazing smile, and she lets out a nervous giggle.
“You… you sure?”
She nods and takes a step closer. I can’t believe she’s sayin’ this to me now. After all that stuff with her mom and after the whole, ‘I want my first kiss to mean something’, I didn’t think she’d be ready for it… now. I mean, thought I’d have to wait at least a couple of days.
I gulp and close the distance between us. Man, I hope I do this right. Don’t want to make her first kiss too slobbery or awkward or anythin’ that’ll disappoint her. She deserves to have a kiss that’ll make her want more. A kiss that’ll tell her exactly how I feel about her.
Cupping her face between my hands, I gauge her eyes before I go in farther. She closes them and lets out a small puff of air I can taste. Her mint chocolate smell makes me close my eyes too, and I pull her closer, noses touching, breath mixing.
“Um, Brody?”
The air rushes out of my lips, which are centimeters away from hers. “Yeah?”
“Can you like, not use your tongue?”
Can’t help the chuckle that rumbles through my throat. “What?”
We both open our eyes, but I keep her face close.
“It’s just, I already don’t know what the crap I’m doing, and if you stick your tongue in my mouth, I really don’t know how I’m going to… like, I don’t know how that all works, so if you could keep it to yourself this first time around—”
“Hayles,” I interrupt. Darn girl is going a million miles a minute. “I won’t use my tongue, I promise.”
She sighs, her breath smacking me in the face again. “Okay, sorry.” She smiles. “Continue.”
I’m about to, taking my time again to relish the fact I’m freakin’ going to kiss my girl, noses touching again, hands on her soft cheeks…
“Brody?”
I sigh, but it sort-of comes out like a growl. “Yeah?”
“Sorry,” she says, pulling back. Wait, did she change her mind? No, she’s smiling and kind of giggling. “So, like, what if I’m bad at this?”
“What?”
“You’ll tell me if I’m bad at the whole kissing thing, right?” She reaches up and rubs her temples, closing her eyes tight. “Or at least you won’t judge me too harshly for not knowing where to put my hands or how to move my lips or anything.”
“Hayles,” I say, pulling her back toward me, “don’t over-think this, ‘kay?”
She takes a deep breath, grabs my hands and sticks them back on her cheeks. “Okay, sorry.” Her eyes close. “Give it to me.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. Girl is so amazing. How did I end up bein’ the lucky first guy to give her this moment? I’m still smiling as our lips barely touch.
“Um…”
Ugh! This girl!
“What is it now?”
“Did I… gosh, did I put too much pressure on you?”
“What?”
“‘Cause I didn’t mean to. You’re not worried about it, are you? Like, this is what you wanna do, right? You still want to give me my first kiss? Or am I just pressuring you into it? Or is there too much pressure now to make it perfect, ‘cause Brody, it doesn’t have to be. I want it to be you ‘cause you’re friggin’ fantabulous and I like you so much and I didn’t mean to, like fall so hard for you. It just happened and now I have no idea how this is supposed to go and if you even feel the same way you felt last week when you told me you were, like falling for me too or if you just feel bad ‘cause of my mom and all that junk. I mean, you haven’t even given me any reasons yet and I’m not sure if it’s ‘cause you couldn’t think of them or if you were just trying to be nice or—”
“Hayles!”
She stops her blabbering, snapping her lips tight together and getting a little flushed. I’m smiling so she is too, but this girl needs to put on her perception glasses.
I take a deep breath, wrap one arm around her waist so she doesn’t go anywhere again, and brush her hair back with the other.
“Give me five numbers between one and twenty.”
“What?”
“Just do it.”
She cocks her head and lets out a tiny laugh. “Okay, one, three, eight, fourteen, and, um, fifteen.”
Okay…
“Reason one…” I smile. “You know how to sign the word balls.”
Her mouth splits open, letting out a beautiful laugh.
“Reason three. You know how to make awkward, less awkward.”
She cocks her head to the side. “How do I—”
“Reason eight.” I’m cuttin’ her off before she has any other chance to get away from me. “You slaughter me at Ghost Recon.”
Another laugh. And she’s gettin’ closer to me. Her lips are almost against mine.
“Reason fifteen.” I pull her shirt down a little to touch her shoulder blade. I feel her skin rise with goose bumps as I trail my finger tip across her tattoo. “That’s a sexy tatt. And you know it.”
She lets out another puff of air I can taste. “You missed fourteen.”
Her smile is so huge and so beautiful, I want to push my lips against hers now, but I give her the last one. She needs to hear it, no matter how cheesy it comes out.
“Reason fourteen.” I press my forehead against hers, locking her in my gaze. “You are so beautiful. Inside and out. I don’t just need you. I crave you. Everything about you. You are the only person I’ve felt this way about. You’re my best friend.”
She lets out a small laugh, then runs her tongue across her bottom lip. “Brody?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m in trouble.”
I chuckle. Her nose is touching mine again.
“Why is that?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you.”
Holy hell. She beat me to it.
“I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you, too.”
She smiles and tugs the sides of my shirt to pull me in. I don’t need the hint though. I’ve been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever.
I make sure the first touch is soft, in case she wants to pull back, but when she doesn’t, I lean into it so the kiss is harder. She’s gotta know just how much I’m falling in love with her.
Better be careful though. I know she said no tongue, and I’m trying real hard not to taste her, even just a little bit. But I want to. I want to open my mouth to let her in. I want her to open hers to let me in. But I have to make this perfect for her. Exactly what she wants, and what she needs it to be.
She’s still smiling, even though our lips are pressed tight. It’s so awesome ‘cause it’s still Hayles. Even her kiss is full of life and just… awesomesauce.
Her hands haven’t moved from my shirt, but they keep tuggin’ on it, like she wants me closer. I can’t get any closer than I already am. Bodies together, one hand cupping her face, the other… oh, I’m pulling her waist closer to mine too.
She starts to giggle a little bit through the kiss, her mouth opening enough for me to taste her, but I hold back. I’m not going to ruin her first kiss by doing what she told me not to. Don’t even care that she’s laughin’ during this. It’s just Hayles. Who she is, and it’s perfect.
Then the tip of her tongue touches my bottom lip. Did I imagine that? Oh no, I didn’t, ‘cause she does it again. And again.
Dammit, what is this girl doin’ to me?!
I open my mouth and meet her tongue with mine this time. Who cares if she pulls away. I’m blamin’ her for starting it.
She doesn’t. She… she moans. Her hands slither up my chest and wrap around my neck, pulling me closer into her mouth.
Yeah, there’s no way this kiss is ending. I can’t get enough of her now that I have her. My hands move her waist so I can shut the door. I don’t break the kiss—never going to if I can help it—and then I trap her against the wood.
She’s smiling again. Still kissing me and smiling. And I’m taking every opportunity I can to keep tasting her. To feel her hands move around the back of my neck. To feel the skin on her waist as I lift her shirt and touch her pant line. She is soft. Beautiful and soft.
She’s the first to break away, catching her breath and freezing in the position I have her in. I’m leaning toward her, using the door to keep me stable. I’m pretty sure I’m about to faint.
“Friggin’ f-bombs of glory.”
I laugh. It comes out all breathless and junk. “Is that a good thing?”
She opens her eyes, flicking them up to meet mine.
“Can I have another one?”
Chuckling again. Right before I give her what she wants. She can ask me that anytime, and I’ll give it to her. That was the best kiss I’ve ever had.
I keep her against the door, but she’s moved her hands to the bottom of my shirt. She’s hesitant in her actions, but I’m not sure if it’s ‘cause I’m distracting her with my mouth or not. Then her fingertips are grazing the skin by my bellybutton, and I let out an involuntary groan, breaking away from her lips and moving to her neck.
“Is… is this okay?” she asks, trailing her fingers across the lines on my stomach.
Hell yeah, that’s okay.
“Uh huh,” I breathe against her collar bone.
She keeps playing with my skin, moving to my sides and giving me goose bumps and doing other things to me I never thought I could feel with someone. There’s some crazy stuff goin’ on in my chest.
I press my lips against hers again, trying to keep my hands near her face ‘cause if she keeps touching the skin underneath my shirt, I don’t know what’s going to stop me from doing the same to her. But I’m pretty sure since it took her so long to let me kiss her, this isn’t going any further than…
Wait. Is she…? Yeah, she’s trying to get my shirt off.
I pull back and gauge her eyes. She’s smiling, blush in her cheeks and a look that asks, ‘Is this okay?’
The biggest grin plants itself on my lips and I reach back, grab the neck of my shirt, and tug it over my head.
I’ve never been this naked with a girl before. I’m not self-conscious or anythin’, but it is different. Not weird. I’m definitely all right with Hayles seein’ this much of me.
“Wowza.”
Okay, now I’m a little embarrassed. “Is that a good thing?”
She puts her hands on my chest and her face goes from pink to red. “Why in the heck does someone like you want someone like me?”
She’s crazy. I just told her she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and she still looks at herself like she’s butt ugly or somethin’.
“Hayles—”
“Did I ever tell you I love it when you call me that?” Her eyes move from my chest to my face. “I’ve never had a nickname before.”
I let out a breath through my nostrils, taking one of her hands in mine. “Hayles, you are gorgeous, all right. No more of this stuff about you being anythin’ less than that.”
She grins like she doesn’t believe me, but she’s not going to argue. I roll my eyes before I give her another long kiss. She’s moved her hands back around my neck, giving me opportunity to play with the skin on her stomach.
“Is this okay?” I ask between kisses.
She hesitates, long enough for me to worry about what’s going through her head, but then she nods. “Yes, but… I’m not, I mean, I’m sorry I’m not as skinny… you deserve someone who—”
“I want you.” Because I do. I want everything with her. And I didn’t expect our first kiss leading to this. I’m not sure if she did either, but I’m not going to stop until she tells me to stop. I love her. And I want to have one of my firsts with her too.
Taking the bottom of her shirt I slowly lift up. She’s not telling me to stop, not even with her eyes. I can tell she’s worried about what I’ll see underneath, but she won’t stop me.
So I’m not going to stop.
And holy hell. I’m glad I didn’t.
Bra and jeans are the best look for this girl. Her curves, her breasts, her hips… I hold her body close to mine, skin on skin, and kiss her again. I don’t stay at her mouth, though. I trace every inch of her neck, her collar bone, her cleavage, her stomach, her sides, even gliding my tongue across her skin to taste every bit of her. Because I have to. She’s so gorgeous, this girl. She’s letting me look, touch…
And she’s not stopping me.
She pulls my face back to hers, kissing me with so much force I can’t believe we’re going this far. When she said ‘kiss me’ earlier, I was going to give her the kiss I’d been preparing for. Now I’m completely out of my element here. Going places I’ve never experienced before either.
I press my hips into her, makin’ the door creak.
“Whoa!”
Okay, pretty sure that’s a ‘stop sign’.
“Sorry,” I say, backing up and taking the chance to calm my breathing… and myself. I pushed too far. Dammit. I really didn’t want to ruin this.
“No, it’s okay.” She laughs and brings a hand to her chest. My eyes rest there for a second before I force myself to look at her face and not her boobs.
“I’m sorry,” I say again.
“Brody…” She giggles and grabs my hand. “It’s. Okay. You just surprised me, that’s all.”
“S-sorry.” Guess that’s the only thing my mouth is capable of sayin’ right now.
“Don’t be sorry. I… I just didn’t know I had that, um, effect on you.”
Now I’m the one laughing. I shake my head and pull her to me, skin on skin again. I wrap my hand around the back of her head while I caress the small of her back with the other. I’m never letting her go.
I rest my cheek against hers so I can whisper in her ear. “You’ve had this effect on me since the day I saw you with that book on your head.”
Feeling her smile against my cheek, I kiss under her earlobe and pull back. But she doesn’t let me go far. Her fingers tuck into my belt, hands shakin’ a little as she starts to undo the buckle.
“I-Is this…” She gulps. “Okay?”
We both freeze as I stare into her eyes. It’s okay with me… more than okay with me, but I have to make sure this is what she wants.
“Is it okay with you?”
She nods, a big smile forming on her lips.
As much as I want her to keep going, for us to keep going, I can’t. I have to know…
“Why?”
“What?”
I grab her fingers, stopping her from getting too far downward. Because once she does, that’ll be it for my control.
“Why is this okay with you?” I let go of one of her wrists, and use the back of my hand to stroke her cheek. “Don’t get me wrong, I want this—really want this—but you’ve been so careful physically with me. Why now? Why me?”
Another big smile plants itself on her face, but she looks nervous, too. And her voice comes out a little shaky. “I-I never thought I’d f-feel this way about anyone.” Her eyes go to the floor, and I tilt her chin up so I can still look at the beautiful greens. She takes a deep breath. “I never really allowed myself to feel anything for anyone. But then you just… well, POP! There you were, and made me get all weird inside.”
I chuckle and she laughs. She has no idea that’s exactly how I felt when she… POP, came into my life.
“And well, besides the obvious reasons—”
“Obvious?”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Seriously? Brody, this is totally another reason why you’re just super fabulous.”
Huh?
“You don’t even know how freaking hot you are. That’s uber sexy.” Her eyes go to my bare torso. “Count with me.” One finger strokes part of my stomach. “One…” She moves an inch or two over. “Two…” She slides down. “Three…” Back over. “Four…” Down. “Five…” Over. “Six.”
She flicks her gaze back up to me. “That’s what people call a six-pack.”
I roll my eyes, but she keeps moving her fingers up to my chest. I want to stop her, but I don’t at the same time. It feels too good.
“And these…” She flattens her hands on me, and I tug her closer. “Are called pecs. It’s like you stepped out of a fantasy.”
I open my mouth, but her fingers zoom up to cover my lips. “How many girls have seen you like this?”
“One. Including you.”
She smiles, resting her head on my chest. I run my hands up her bare back, wishing it was the right moment to undo that bra.
“Not even girls at a pool?” she whispers.
I shrug. “I’m not much of a swimmer.”
Her hold tightens around my middle. That bra clasp teases my fingertips, so I move my hand upward to the back of her neck instead to keep control.
“That was the obvious reason,” she says, looking at me again, “but you… you look at me like…”
A gust of air goes out her nose as she loses the words. I press my forehead against hers.
“Like you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen?”
She nods, and we’re both quiet for a minute. Then I say, “What did I do to deserve you?” at the same time she says, “I don’t deserve someone like you.”
We chuckle and her fingers slide up to my neck. “It took me so long to let you kiss me because I knew this might happen.”
That makes one of us. “You did?”
She nods again, keeping her dark green eyes locked on mine. “I knew once we started kissing, I wouldn’t want to stop. And I don’t.” She sets her forehead on mine, then whispers against my lips. “Please, don’t stop, Brody.” Her fingers go back to my belt while my head spins. “I want to give you everything… if you want it.”
Oh man, do I want it. I smile and hold her close, letting her undo my buckle.
“On one condition.”
She pauses and looks at me. I kiss the tip of her nose.
“You let me give everything to you.”
She gets my belt undone and whips it out from my belt loops.
“Deal.”
Her fingers go to my top button, and that’s when I realize something that’s pretty important.
“Wait… I don’t think I have any protection, Hayles.”
Her smile doesn’t fall.
“You don’t need to worry about that.”
She twists my top button open.
“What?”
Her hands trail downward, and I’m about to lose all train of thought.
“It’s a long story, and I promise I’ll tell you.” She kisses my neck as she gets my zipper down. “But later. I really don’t want to ruin the moment with, uh, girly talk. Just know you don’t have to worry about knockin’ me up.”
Where did this confident Hayley come from? She’s being so… seductive and sexy and yeah, I can’t think anymore. I don’t want to. I just want to be with her.
And give her another first as she gives me one of mine.