Light in the Shadows

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR



-CLAY-



I was being a complete and total coward. Why hadn’t I just told Maggie my plans for after graduation? I watched her interact with her party guests; laughing and hugging her friends and family. The smile on her face, the look of complete happiness was exactly the reason I had chickened out. I didn’t want to be the reason she lost that look.

“So what did you guys get into all afternoon?” Daniel asked and I almost choked on my drink.

“Oh, you know, we went swimming and just hung out, “ I told him vaguely. Daniel raised his eyebrows and gave me a knowing stare.

“I’m sure that was fun, hanging out. Probably the less I know about you guys hanging out, the better. Otherwise I’ll have to take out your kneecaps and all. And I was just starting to kind of like you,” Daniel smirked and I smirked back.

“Yeah, okay,” I agreed, my eyes returning to Maggie as she circulated around her party. I had been surprised as hell when her parents had called me last week and told me their plans for a surprise party. They asked for my help in setting things up and it was the first time I had felt as though Mr. and Mrs. Young had come close to accepting me as a part of Maggie’s life.

Which is why I had to tell Maggie about what I was going to do. But I was scared. I wasn’t sure how she’d react. But I couldn’t put it off. But it didn’t have to happen right now. Right now, Maggie just needed to enjoy herself. My news could wait.

“Are you guys coming to Beach Week with Rachel and me next week? Maggie hasn’t said,” Daniel asked. F*ck, I had forgotten about Beach Week. Maggie had hinted about it, but I hadn’t committed to it, knowing that in actuality I couldn’t.

“I don’t know, man,” was all I said. Daniel gave me a funny look but didn’t press me about it. He called out greetings to different people and I felt a little out of place. It was sad that I had never bothered to get to know many people at Jackson in the time I had been here. I had been so inwardly focused or obsessed with my relationship with Maggie, that I think I had missed out on some key aspects of growing up. Like making friends, and going to football games, and all that other shit that came with high school.

But then my eyes fell on Maggie again and I couldn’t feel regret for anything. Because it all brought me here, to her. And that made up for everything else.

“You know, I’m glad we’ve gotten to hang out the past few months. I feel bad for never really giving you a chance. I’m sorry if I gave you a hard time. It’s just when it comes to my girls, I get a bit over protective. It was easier for me to judge you before. Because I didn’t really get the way you were with Mags. But since Rachel, let’s just say I understand now,” Daniel offered and I knew his eyes were following his girlfriend just as I was following mine.

“You and Rachel seem good. It’s nice to see,” I said, noticing the goofy smile that took over his face.

“Yeah, we’re good. It took us awhile to get here. But it’s all worth it in the end. I’m sure you get that,” Daniel said looking over at me. I think Daniel and I got each other pretty damn well.

“Yeah, I get that,” I responded.

“Hey, Danny,” a voice said, coming up behind us. I glanced at the person who now stood on the other side of Daniel and instantly felt my blood pressure rise. F*cking Jake Fitzsimmons. Who the hell had invited that jack ass? Though I guess it made sense that he was here. He and Maggie had been friends for a while. But he was also the guy who had tried to take my place in my girl’s life and he was not my favorite person.

“Hi Jake. You just get here?” Daniel asked and even he seemed to tense up a bit at the other guy’s appearance.

“Yeah. Though I can’t stay long. I just wanted to make sure to give the birthday girl a kiss,” Jake smirked and I felt my head start to buzz and my jaw clench. My teeth started to ache with way I was gnashing them.

Jake glanced at me and his smirk grew. “Hey there, Clay. Didn’t know you’d be here.” His voice seemed to taunt me. I knew he was just trying to get under my skin. Jake had never been overt in his aggression toward me. After the one conversation we had at Java Madness, he seemed to avoid me. And that suited me just fine. So I wasn’t sure what the hell he was trying to do by purposefully antagonizing me now.

Daniel narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Be cool, Jake. This is Maggie’s party,” he warned and even I would have stood down at the underlying threat there. Jake laughed bitterly.

“I am being cool, Danny. I’ve been nothing but cool. Since this psycho upped and left town, leaving Maggie to fall apart. Who was the one that helped her through that? It certainly wasn’t him! It was you and Rachel and me! And what did playing the nice guy get me? Definitely not the girl. It seems being an anti-social a*shole is the way to Maggie Young’s heart.”

Daniel seemed to reach the same conclusion that I did. We both shoved Jake straight toward the door leading into the back yard. The hard look on Daniel’s face most likely mirrored my own. “I told you to drop this shit, Jake! I get that your pride is bruised, but this is not the time or place to be doling this crap out. So you need to either get your act together and enjoy the party or just f*cking leave,” Daniel ground out, getting into Jake’s face. But Jake continued to glare at me.

“I’ve got your number, man. I know what kind of person you are. Look at me, I’m Clay Reed, and I’m so tortured and misunderstood. Whatever. You will never make her happy. You will never give her any sort of life. You will only f*ck her up and f*ck her over every chance you get. If you were any sort of decent individual you’d leave her the hell alone and get out of town. Go ruin someone else’s life,” Jake yelled, his face flushing red.

This guy was way past pissing me off. He was lucky he was still standing and if Daniel hadn’t been between us, this f*cker’s ass would be on the floor.

I got as close to Jake as Daniel would allow and when I spoke, I made my words very clear. “I know what it’s like to love her. And then to lose her. It sucks. So in a way, I feel bad for you. But that doesn’t mean you can come to her house and disrespect her in anyway. I love her. I plan to make a life with her. And so sorry for you, but she chose me. She will always choose me. So just f*cking live with it and move on.”

Jake opened his mouth to say something and then seemed to think better of it. He wrenched himself out of Daniel’s grip and left the yard through the gate. “Well, that was pleasant,” Daniel said dryly, pounding my back with his hand. “Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving.” I nodded in agreement and followed the guy who had somehow become a new friend into Maggie’s house.

Jake never reappeared. I guess he had gotten the hint and taken a hike. I spent most of the evening with Daniel and a few of his friends. I mostly just enjoyed seeing Maggie have fun. I missed out on this side of her too many times.

“Nice job on the ring, Clay,” Rachel enthused later on in the party. Daniel groaned and shot me a hateful look.

“Thanks, man. Do you realize you’re setting a standard that the rest of us poor shumucks somehow have to live up to? Do the brotherhood a favor and stop being such a p-ssy!” Daniel punched me in the arm and I tried not to wince. But hell if it didn’t hurt.

Rachel glared at her boyfriend. “You need to shut up. Just because Clay actually understands the word romance doesn’t mean he’s a p-ssy.”

Daniel laughed. “Uh, yeah it does actually.”

“Give it up, Daniel, before you get kneed in the junk,” I warned, seeing the way Rachel’s face darkened dangerously. Daniel struggled to maintain a straight face.

“I’m sorry, babe. You’re right I need to channel some of Clay’s douchy, I mean awesome romantic qualities,” Daniel choked out and Rachel finally gave it up and giggled. They were such a functional couple. It was sort of awe inspiring.

The night started to wind down and Maggie’s guests began to leave. Finally there was only Daniel, Rachel and I left. Mr. and Mrs. Young had ordered some pizza, because most of the food from the party had been eaten up early on. We started cleaning up. Rachel and Daniel became comically competitive about it, making the whole process take twice as long as it should have.

“Thanks Mom and Dad! And Rach, Danny, I just love you guys,” Maggie said, clutching a trash bag to her chest. Her parents gave her a hug, followed by her friends. I kissed the top of her head and she looked up at me with an expression that literally took my breath away. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of looking at her.

“And you already know what I think of you,” her eyebrows waggling suggestively and I chuckled. We moved out into the yard to pick up more trash. Rachel and Daniel had given up and were watching television and Maggie’s parents were in the kitchen drinking coffee.

“So, I know we haven’t really talked about it. But what do you think about Beach Week? Daniel and Rachel rented this amazing house right on the water at Virginia Beach. It would be really fun. My parents would be fine with you going, particularly since I’m a full grown adult now,” Maggie grinned and my stomach knotted up.

I hadn’t wanted to do this now, but I couldn’t keep putting her off. I had been evasive and vague about my plans for after graduation. It wasn’t fair to her.

“I don’t think I can do that,” I told her, dropping the trashcan and sitting heavily on the patio chair. Maggie’s face fell and I already hated myself for what I was about to do.

“Oh, okay, that’s fine. But maybe we could go away somewhere later in the summer. Just the two of us. That would be really nice, don’t you think?” Maggie was starting to ramble now and I knew she was picking up on my unease.

I took ahold of her hand and pulled her into the seat beside me. “Maggie,” I started.

“We could go to Ocean City, or even New York. Anywhere as long as we’re together!” Maggie was on a roll, as though if she talked fast enough and long enough, I would forget about whatever it was I was trying to tell her. The thing that she feared would break her heart. And I wasn’t so sure she wasn’t right.

“Maggie,” I tried again. She stared straight ahead, not even glancing my way.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Savannah. I’ve heard it’s beautiful. We could take a week and just drive.” She sounded almost desperate and I knew I had to put a stop to it.

“Maggie, stop talking for a minute and please listen to me,” I pleaded and she instantly shut her mouth and lowered her eyes.

“Okay, sorry,” Maggie murmured. I cupped her cheeks between my palms and lifted her face to mine. I kissed her slowly and thoroughly. I needed to taste her and savor her before dropping my news in her unsuspecting lap.

“I want to do all of those things with you. I really do. There is nothing I want more than to explore this world with you. But it can’t happen. At least not for a while. I can’t make you any specific promises about my future because right now things have to be put on hold. For me at least. For us,” I said slowly, watching as comprehension dawned on her face.

She turned to look at me apprehensively. “What are you trying to say?” she asked, her voice trembling and I hated to do this to her. Not after everything she had already been through because of me. But I honestly felt this was for the best.

“I’m readmitting myself into the Grayson Center for a six month program. Then after that, I will most likely go into a group home for a while longer. I’ve already talked with Dr. Todd and I’m set to be checked in next Wednesday,” I said, seeing the way her face paled.

“You’re going back to Grayson’s? To Florida? But why? I thought things were going fine. That you were doing better,” Maggie seemed so lost and I wish I had the magic answer for her. So instead I just tried to explain.

“I’ve tried, Mags. I really have. And while some things are changing, I still have so far to go. The truth is every day is a struggle. Some days I can barely get out of bed.”

“But your medication…” Maggie started and I shook my head.

“I told you before it wasn’t a cure all. It helps, but it doesn’t fix everything. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about hurting myself. Of ending the pain. It’s like there’s this voice in my head that tells me to do it. That no one loves me, that I’m nothing but a burden,” I could hear the strain in my voice and I couldn’t even look at Maggie.

“But that’s not true, Clay! You have so many people that love you! You have never been a burden! That’s ridiculous!” she implored, as she reached for me. Her hands clutched at my shirt and I almost lost my resolve. Almost.

“But don’t you see, the fact that I think about it at all means I’m not ready. I’m not ready to plan any sort of future. I need to focus on the present and getting my shit sorted. Otherwise I’m not good to myself or to you. I can’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you!” My voice started to rise and I had to work on keeping it at a normal volume. Particularly when all I wanted to do was scream.

“What about the ring? All those promises you made just a few hours ago? Was that just a way to butter me up, to soften the blow? I can’t believe you!” Maggie’s tears were coming in earnest now.

“No, Maggie! I meant every word I said! But those promises are for what I hope is our future! I won’t leave this time and shut you out. I can’t do that again. To either of us. I want you to take this journey with me, wherever it goes. I hope that you’ll wait for me to get myself together. I know it’s incredibly selfish of me to even ask you to. But knowing you’re waiting for me on the other end of all this will make the process that much easier to deal with,” I said sincerely. Maggie started hiccupping and heaving. Raw, ugly tears ripped from her chest and I felt helpless.

“I understand if that’s asking too much. But I need you to understand that I’m not leaving you this time! I’m going away for a little while to work on my head. But that I hope you will be there every step of the way. I’ll support you and you will support me. We’ll learn together what a healthy and functional relationship looks like. Because as I am right now, I know I can’t give that to you. And I want to give that to you. Because I want my life to begin and end with us together.”

My heart was beating so hard in my chest, the blood rushing through my ears so that I could barely hear Maggie’s whispered response.

I leaned in closer, gripping her hands tightly in my own. “I’ll wait for you. I’ll always wait for you,” she swore. Her tears had stopped and she seemed to have settled down. I cautiously reached out and ran my fingers through her hair, stopping to rest my hand on the back of her neck. I rested my forehead against hers.

“Are you sure?” I asked her. I didn’t want her to feel pressured into it. This had to be her choice. If she chose to walk away, I’d let her; even though I knew I’d never move on from her. I would do it for her.

“I’m sure, Clay. I want to be with you. And even if it takes fifty years, I’ll be there at the end of it all,” she said firmly and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face.

“I love you, Maggie May Young. Always and forever.” And then my mouth touched hers and I felt my future begin.

***

-Maggie-

So I graduated high school. And Clay left for Florida. I went to Beach Week with my best friends. Ruby sold her house and moved to Key West. Her shop was bought by a couple who turned it into a holistic foods store. I refused to go inside.

I spent the summer working and saving money. I spent time with my parents. I went to the movies with Rachel. I helped Daniel clean out his garage.

And I spoke with Clay three times a week. He had kept his promise to not shut me out. He shared every bit of his treatment with me. He told me about his group therapy and his sessions with his counselors. I told him about my college preparations and getting my school schedule.

We stayed a part of each other’s lives in every way that we could, even with a thousand miles separating us.

And I firmly believed that this was a new chapter for us. Hell, it was brand new freaking book. The Maggie and Clay story was far from over. And we would always be looking for the light…together.



EPILOGUE



SIX YEARS LATER

-CLAY-

“I’ll have her back there by six-thirty! Stop freaking out and let us do some shopping. And don’t call again!” Rachel barked into the phone before hanging up. I rubbed the raised skin on the underside of my wrist, the scab over my newly inked tattoo was driving me crazy. I couldn’t help but smile at the tiny symbol that looked like an off kilter upside down U, emblazoned on my skin. It was identical in size and location to the one adorning Maggie’s arm. I loved what the rune stood for. I remembered when Maggie explained the meaning to me over dinner all those years ago.

Healing and endurance. And most of all courage. I finally felt, after all this time, that I was mastering these qualities. So I had taken the plunge and marked my body with a permanent reminder of the love I shared with the woman who had saved me in every way possible.

I was pacing around the living room, rubbing my tattoo when I stubbed my toe on a box that sat strategically in the middle of the floor.

“God damn it all to f*cking hell!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. The place was a disaster. Maggie and I had just moved into our new apartment last weekend and we were in the middle of moving chaos. Boxes were everywhere, being systematically unpacked in stages.

So far we had a semi-functional kitchen. Our bed was a mattress on the floor. But none of that mattered because we were here. Together. Finally.

It was almost six years to the day that I flew back to Florida after leaving Virginia and readmitted myself into the Grayson Center, using a big chunk of the money from Lisa’s life insurance policy that Ruby had given me.

I had wondered in those first few days if I had made the right decision. I had missed Maggie so much I was tempted to check myself out again and head back to her. But then I would remember that I was doing this for myself. For the future we wanted to have. And I would suck it up and make it through the day.

They say that the third time’s a charm and my third go around in a facility proved that old saying to be true. I was focused and on task. I worked my treatment plan and dealt with my demons, despite the fact that there were days I wanted to forget about all of it. It helped that Maggie and I talked several times a week. She’d tell me about college; her classes, her new friends, the crappy dorms. I’d tell her about group and art therapy.

She flew down during fall break and when I was released into a transitional group home for mental health patients before Christmas, she came to Florida and we spent the holidays together. She stayed in a hotel of course, but made sure that Christmas was special.

Ruby had also continued to be a constant and reassuring presence. And her move to Key West went a long way in invigorating her and giving her a new lease on life.

She still grieved for Lisa. We both did. But she was learning to move on as best she could. And really that was the only thing any of us could do.

After moving into the group home, I had enrolled in the local community college and took some art and psychology classes. After working my ass off, I was accepted into the University of Miami. I wouldn’t live on campus and for the first year I opted to take my classes online.

It took me almost five and a half years to get my Bachelor’s Degree. That may seem like a long time to get a four year degree but the fact that I had done it all made the time seem insignificant.

I graduated in May with a BS in psychology and a minor in art. I had decided to apply my passion with the thing that had saved my life in so many ways and now I was enrolled for my Masters in art therapy at George Washington University.

Before leaving Florida, I had attempted to make amends with my parents. Years had passed and I stopped hearing from them all together. They didn’t know where I was, so I couldn’t expect any of the obligatory birthday and Christmas cards. But I strongly doubted they would have even bothered.

When they had cut me out of their life, I knew it was a quick and decisive severing. I saw my parents on TV now and then. My father eventually won the state senate seat and was now the congressman for Florida’s twenty-third district.

They seemed plastic, almost robotic during their public appearances. My mother’s flat, emotionless face most likely a result of Botox. My dad’s lack of personality even more noticeable. It was amazing that a man as devoid of life as my father had been able to sway people to vote for him. It’s amazing what a stupid amount of money will buy you, I guess.

So I had stupidly made the trek to Palm Beach to see if my parents were ready to bury the hatchet. To put the past behind us.

All I had gotten was a door slammed in my face and a stern warning to never darken their doorstep again. I remember pulling out of the driveway, waiting for the emotional paralysis. I anticipated some heavy-duty fallout from being rejected, once again, by the people who had given me life, for whatever that was worth.

But nothing had come. Instead of being devastated, I had called Maggie and then later Ruby. Getting from them all of the love and support I could ever need. And I knew, without any doubt that I would never desire or need that from my parents. They had no place in the world I was building for myself.

After that, I had thrown myself into my plans for the future. Maggie and I had decided instantly that we would look for an apartment together. Maggie had gotten a job with Fairfax County Schools as a middle school English teacher. We were both as happy as we could be without being with each other. But we were finally at a point where that could change.

I was in a good place, though I continued to have my setbacks. Moments when I wasn’t sure I could put one foot in front of the other. My fear and paranoia about being abandoned, about ruining everything, continued to plague me at times. But I no longer allowed it to rule me either.

My therapist in Florida told me I may always have them. But every day I felt myself approaching a semblance of nirvana. And that was what got me out of bed every single morning. I got in contact with a reputable therapist outside of Washington D.C. and began my weekly appointments soon after arriving in Virginia. I took my medication every day without fail. These small elements of control were hugely important to me. And even though every day was a test, a struggle, I was happy to fight because I had learned to be proud of the person I was. Demons and all.

Maggie had found us an apartment in Arlington. She was thirty minutes from work and I was a short distance from school. But most importantly we were together.

There was a knock at the door and I hobbled over to open it. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Daniel asked, walking past me with a large, flat object in his hands.

“I think I broke my f*cking toe. That’s my f*cking problem,” I growled, unleashing my inner sailor with the f-bombs flying out of my mouth. Daniel rolled his eyes.

“Well, here you go. I had to wade through Saturday traffic. You owe me, man,” Daniel said, handing me the thing he had to wade through traffic for.

“I appreciate it. Now help me hang it and stop your bitching,” I rooted through a few boxes until I found my hammer and some nails. Daniel held the picture up in the proper spot above the couch. When were finished, we stood back and took in my handy work.

Daniel shook his head. “You really need to get the whole p-ssy thing in check. Rachel will be driving me crazy to up my game, thanks to you. One of these days I will seriously kick your ass,” Daniel grumbled. I caught him rubbing the shiny band on his left ring finger and knew he was all talk. He would do anything in the world for his wife and she was way past asking him to “up his game.” They already had everything that they wanted.

Daniel and Rachel lived only fifteen minutes from us in Alexandria. Daniel was in medical school at Georgetown and Rachel worked with a catering company in Reston. They had been married for two years now and Rachel was expecting their first child.

If there was such a thing as happily ever after, those two had found it.

And I was determined to have mine.

“Thanks, Daniel. I’m sure we’ll call you later,” I promised.

“Sure thing. I’m happy to help. We still on for raquetball tomorrow?” he asked before leaving.

“I don’t know,” I answered and Daniel snorted.

“I guess it all depends on how far into the night the celebrations go, huh?” he pouted his lips in a sad attempt at a seductive face and I shoved him out the door.

“Whatever, man. Later.” I closed the door and turned around. There was no way Maggie would miss the new picture. I just hoped she had the response to it that I wanted.

I went about cleaning the apartment as best I could. I worked on a few more boxes, putting things away. I located the rest of my tools and put the bed frame together. Two hours and lots of cursing later, I finally had our mattress off the floor.

The bed looked really inviting and I realized how tired I was. But there was still too much to do before Maggie got home.

At five-thirty, I put in an order with our favorite Chinese place and got in the shower. I dressed in jeans and the button down shirt Maggie had gotten me for my birthday.

She came bursting through the apartment door, arms loaded down with bags. She and Rachel had made a serious dent in their credit cards. “Did you buy an entire store?” I joked, coming out from the kitchen.

I looked behind her to the picture that she had yet to notice. She was too intent on showing me her purchases. “I found these awesome boots that will look killer with my jean skirt! Check them out!” She pulled out a set of knee high boots that looked exactly like the other pair she had sitting in the closet. Though I didn’t dare tell her that.

“They’re great, baby,” I said, leaning in to kiss her soft lips. Maggie dropped the bags and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Mmm. You taste amazing,” she moaned into my mouth and I forgot momentarily about my big plans for the night.

Before we could get too carried away, there was a knock at the door. “Who the hell is that?” Maggie griped.

I laughed into her downturned mouth. “Food. I ordered from China Chef. Figured your day of consumerism would make you hungry,” I said. Maggie rubbed her belly.

“Good thinking. I’m just going to put the bags back in the bedroom,” Maggie replied grabbing her purchases. She still hadn’t noticed our new wall hanging and I didn’t say anything. It was important that she saw it on her own time.

I gave the delivery guy money and took our dinner into the kitchen. Maggie’s shriek from back in the bedroom made me grin. “You put the bed together!” she yelled as she came flying down the hall and leaping into my arms.

“You are so going to get lucky in that thing later,” she promised running her hands up my shirt. I pulled her hands away. As much as I wanted to go in the direction she was heading, I had other plans for her this evening.

“Come and eat your dinner, my little nympho,” I told her, getting our plates out of the cabinet. Maggie grumbled but the smell of Chinese food ended any further complaining. We ate our dinner together, laughing, talking and simply enjoying being with each other.

“I’ll clean up; you go into the living room and get comfortable. I’ll even watch a chick flick if you want,” I said, smiling. I knew what was coming and my stomach flipped over with my nerves.

“Thanks, baby. I love you,” Maggie said as she kissed me again. I started piling the dishes into the sink, waiting not so patiently, for her to call out to me, asking me about the new picture above the couch.

By the time I was finished, I realized Maggie was strangely quiet. I went into the living room to find her staring at the matted and framed canvas.

“What is this?” she whispered, her eyes never straying from the new artwork. “Did you paint it?” she asked, looking at me over her shoulder.

I nodded, letting her take the time to absorb what I was trying to tell her through my picture. It was a silhouette of the two of us, darkened in shadow but with a brilliant, bright light behind us revealing the intricate details of our faces bowed in close together. Butterflies rose in flight around us and it vibrated with the love I felt for the girl standing before it.

On the bottom, in neat script, I had carefully written: And he asked her to share his forever.

While she stared at the picture, I pulled out the small velvet box I had kept in my pocket all day and got down on one knee. When Maggie turned around and saw what I was doing she gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. And then she did the craziest thing. She fell down to her knees in front of me.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be on my knees here. You’re ruining the moment,” I teased her. She held her hands to my cheeks and gave me one of her earth shattering smiles. It was a smile that could cure cancer. It told me that I was responsible for this perfect slice of happiness in her life.

With tears rolling down her face, I tried to tell her with words that could express everything I felt for her, everything she was to me. But words could never be enough to explain the way she had completely filled me.

“Over six years ago I met a girl who saved me. I didn’t realize at the time, mostly because her attitude pissed me off, that she would become the most important thing in my life.” Maggie playfully punched my shoulder as I wiped the wetness from her cheeks with my thumbs.

“But then I got to know her and when I was drowning, she became my air. In the cold, she became my warmth.” I cupped her face in my hands as she quietly sobbed and for once I didn’t feel any guilt for her tears. Because these tears were filled with nothing but joy. And those were tears I was glad to give her.

“In the dark, she became my light,” I whispered, my voice breaking and my own tears started to make their way down my skin.

“Our road hasn’t been an easy one. But good things rarely are. You taught me that the person I am is worth loving, worth fighting for. You gave me strength when I had none. You held me up when I wanted to fall. And now, I want to give you everything. I want to give you the world. Because, Maggie, you’ve given me mine. And it’s you. It will always, forever, be you,” I said, the lump in my throat making my voice a harsh whisper.

“Clay,” Maggie sobbed and she fell against me, pressing her forehead into my shoulder.

Holding her tight against my body, I whispered in her ear, “Will you marry me, Maggie?” She tilted her face up and her smile was absolutely radiant.

“I think you already know the answer to that,” she quipped as I slid the diamond ring on her finger, over top the promise ring I had given her all those years ago. Even in the middle of this intense, emotion filled moment, her sarcasm was ever present. And I loved that about her. I kissed every inch of her face, over and over again. “And just so you know, I already have the world. You’re just expanding my universe a little bit,” Maggie added, touching the side of my face and I captured her mouth, kissing her with every ounce of love and adoration I felt for her.

And I held her, this girl who had saved me and continued to save me every day. Our path would never be smooth but I hadn’t lied when I said good things were never easy. And I was okay with going the hard way. Because as long as she was beside me, as long as we were together, I knew we could face anything.

So together we walked into our future. One that we had mapped out. And that future was nothing but light.



THE END



Acknowledgments



Thank you to each and every one of my readers who have loved Maggie and Clay from the very start. Without your support, I wouldn’t be doing this at all!

Thank you to my amazing husband, who always gave me the motivation to keep writing, even when I became discouraged. You are the butter to my bread, the sprinkles to my ice cream, the ketchup to my fries…okay you get the point. Love you!

Thank you to my gorgeous daughter who can always make me smile. You are who I want to be when I grow up.

To my fantastic editor, Tanya, for working so fast it makes my head spin. Your enthusiasm for my stories is such a huge motivator! Love ya!

To Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations for finding the amazing photograph that graces the cover. You perfectly captured the feel of this story. Your talent is phenomenal!

To Claire, my numero uno beta reader. Your feedback was essential and you gave me confidence when I felt like the whole story sucked. You are amazing. I can’t wait to do some ghost hunting with you.

To Kim Box Person, Denise Tung, Kristy Louise and all of the other amazing bloggers who have championed my stories. Your endless pimping and total support have helped me to make a career out of something I had only ever dreamed I could do.

And most importantly, thank you to the beautiful and strong clients I have had the absolute privilege to work with over the years. Your fight and resilience is awe-inspiring and will always remind me to look for the light in the dark.



A.Meredith Walters has been writing since childhood and is also the author of Find You Dark, Cloud Walking and Bad Rep.

Meredith spent over a decade as a counselor for children and teens and saw first-hand the devastation of mental health issues. But she also saw the beautiful resilience, unwavering hope and strength of the human spirit. Because of that, her stories were created.

Meredith would love to hear from her fans! Follow her on Facebook, Goodreads and Twitter (Author AMWalters) or you can email her at [email protected]

If you liked this book, please take the time to leave a review on the site where it was purchased. Thank you so much!