Knotted Roots

Chapter THIRTEEN



As soon as I stepped through the front door I heard heavy footsteps approaching quickly. I tried to make a mad dash up the stairs before Grandma could catch me, but she was quicker than I gave her credit for.

“Stop right there young lady!” I stopped near the top and turned around to face the impending explosion. “Get down here, right now!”

“I think I’ll pass on that one, but thanks.” I turned around, hoping for that as yet unachieved quick escape.

“This is not up for discussion. We need to talk. Now.” She bit off the last word, with barely concealed anger.

I stormed down the stairs and found myself only inches away from her face. “You wanna tell me how I screwed up? I already know! I don’t need you to tell me that!”

“I told ya to stay away from him, but did ya listen? No. And now you’ve hurt an innocent boy! Does that mean anything to ya?”

I balled my fists up and tried not to do something stupid. I stared her square in the eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m just living up to your expectations, Grandma,” I spat the last word at her. “You were right about me. I’m nothing but trouble. I ruin every person I come in contact with. Just ask Mom and Dad! I probably ruined them as well!”

I tried to run again, but her small hands forcefully grabbed my arm and pulled me back around. “You had nothing to do with their unhappiness, do ya hear me? Nothing!” She shook my arm and stared intensely at me.

I jerked my arm out of her hand. I couldn’t bear to feel her rough hands on me. “Don’t lie to me! The least you could do is be honest with me!” I could feel my body shaking as the adrenaline coursed through my body. “How the hell would you know anything about them, anyway? It’s not like you’ve actually been there, have you?”

“I wanted to be Rox-”

“No! If you really wanted to be there, you would have! You could have come to see us anytime!”

“The door works both ways! I tried to get your mother to visit, but she was full of excuses. There was always something more important! So I quit asking.”

“What about a phone call? You sit here on your high horse and lecture me about hurting Chase, and yet you have ignored your only child, and granddaughter, for sixteen years! You have no right to say a damn thing to me!” I screamed as I struggled to hold back the tears that were ready to drop. There was no way in hell she was going to have that power over me. I stormed up the stairs and slammed into my room.

I threw myself down on the bed and finally let the tears flow down my cheeks. There was nothing I could do to stop the storm that was brewing inside. The tidal wave of tears was a force to be reckoned with. I couldn’t handle this place much longer. At least back home I didn’t cry. There was nothing there that could break my heart. Here? There were so many things here that threatened to drag me under.

My thoughts drifted to Chase again. The pain that shone in his eyes when I told him that I felt nothing for him. The hard set of his mouth as he put a brave face on. I hated making him feel that way, but it was for the best. It would hurt much less right now than it would when I left. There were far fewer pieces to pick up right now. At least I made one right decision during all of this crap.



I spent the rest of the day in my room. I couldn’t face Grandma again. I knew she would want to finish our conversation, but there was nothing left to say. I’m sure Chase had already told her exactly what happened anyway. Why did she need to hear it from me? Wasn’t it enough that I already hated myself for making him feel that way?

My phone rang a few times, but every time I checked the caller ID Chase’s name popped up. I couldn’t imagine what he would have left to say to me. Finally, a text came through. I opened the phone and read the message from him.

Katy is awake. U need 2 get here soon.

I texted him back and got the name and address of the hospital, then grabbed Grandma’s keys off the hook. I stormed out of the house and made my way to Grandma’s truck. She would understand why I needed to use it. If not, to hell with her. Katy was the only person here who hadn’t treated me like I was the devil in disguise. The least I could do was go see her and find out what had happened the night before.

As I sped out of the driveway, I looked in the rearview mirror in time to see Grandma come running out the front door, her arms raised above her head as she tried to wave me back. I still wasn’t ready to talk to her. I kept driving, pretending that I hadn’t seen her frantically trying to stop me from leaving. I drove as fast as I could without risking being pulled over. Grandma would have yet another thing to hold over my head if I got a speeding ticket in her truck.

Thirty minutes later I was pulling into the parking lot of the hospital. I ran inside, straight up to the front desk. The woman who was sitting there looked up at me with a sweet smile.

“How can I help you sweetheart?” she asked.

“I’m looking for Katy...um...damn. I don’t know her last name,” I replied, ashamed that I had never bothered to learn her last name, even after all the time we had spent together.

I was saved from further embarrassment when I heard my name being called from down the hall. I turned to see Chase walking quickly over to where I stood. As he got closer I could see his eyes were rimmed in red. Had I caused the tears that had left his chiseled face in ruin? No. Probably not. He was probably just upset about Katy.

“She’s down here.” He jerked his thumb in the direction he had just come from. “Come on. She’s asking where you are.”

I followed behind him as he hurried down the hallway. As we walked I glanced into the rooms that we passed, accidentally seeing more of one man’s backside than I ever wanted to. After that I made sure to keep my eyes forward at all times. No matter how much I didn’t want to stare at the back of Chase’s head, it was better than the wrinkly mess I had just seen. He stopped suddenly and turned to face me.

“Room 126,” he said as he pointed to the door on his right. He started to walk away but I grabbed his arm, halting his departure. “Don’t, Roxie. Not here.”

“Chase, we need-”

“Not. Here.” He shook my hands off and walked away. I felt my heart shatter, the rhythm sputtering as pain slammed into me again. I wanted to run after him, but I was there to see Katy.

I walked into the stark white room and was shocked to see Katy sitting up in bed, smiling at me, looking like she had been in a cage fight the night before. I walked over to her and pulled a chair close to her bed. I sat down quickly and returned her beaming smile. I couldn’t believe how happy she looked, especially when her body looked like it had been through hell.

“Hey,” I said as I fidgeted with the bracelet on my wrist.

“Hey to you. What was all that about?” she asked as she hitched her thumb in the direction of the hall.

“Nothing important,” I replied, unable to meet her eyes.

“For now, I’ll let it slide,” she laughed, causing me to chuckle. “Man...I can’t wait to get out of here. It’s freaking boring!”

“Katy...what...I mean,” I paused, drawing in a deep breath. “What happened? We heard you screaming, but you were already on the ground when we found you.”

“I...I don’t remember everything. One minute Jackson and I were standing there, laughing, and the next he was on top of me,” she said as tears formed in her eyes.

“Were you drinking? Did he get you a drink?” I asked, the pieces falling into place.

“I only had one drink, I swear! I can’t remember...I think he got it for me. But I’m not sure,” she replied.

“That scum,” I growled as I slammed my hands down on the armrests of the chair. “I’ll kill him.”

“Let it go Roxie. It’s over.”

“How can you say that? He obviously drugged you! And then attacked you!” I wanted to shake some sense into her. How could she be so calm about this?

“I don’t want to think about it. At all. I just want...I want to forget it happened.”

“Does your brother know what his friend did?” I was seething. I couldn’t believe that she just wanted to let it go.

“He knows. He threatened to kill him, but I told him the same thing. He’s not worth it, I promise.”

I stood up and started pacing the room, rubbing my sweaty palms up and down my jeans. I felt completely helpless. Sure, Katy and I hadn’t known each other very long, but I considered her a friend. Just as I was about to say something else the door to the room opened. There, standing in the doorway, was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. She was taller than me, with long blond hair that ended at her hips, and deep blue eyes. The anger that flashed in her eyes made them look even more startling.

She shot me a death glare as she went to sit in the chair that I had just vacated. She took Katy’s hand in her own and smiled reassuringly. “Oh my gosh Katy! I have been so worried about you.”

“I’m fine Jenn. Really. Nothing to worry about,” said Katy as she tried to loosen the girl’s grip on her hand.

“Don’t lie. Whose ass do I have to kick?” She briefly glanced my way, a sneer on her gorgeous face, and quickly focused her attention back on Katy. “Who’s this?”

“That’s Roxie. She’s my new friend,” said Katy as she smiled at me. It wasn’t as bright as when I first arrived, but I wouldn’t be smiling if that girl had a death grip on my hand either.

I closed the distance and held out my hand to Jenn. She didn’t even acknowledge that I was standing there. I lowered my hand and stepped back again. What a witch. Well, she and I were definitely not going to be besties this summer. That much was obvious. Katy looked even more uncomfortable after that. I wanted to help her, but I had no idea how to handle Jenn. I mean, I was Jenn in New York.

“Katy, I’m going to go. Call me. For anything,” I said as I walked towards the door. She nodded and smiled, but it looked more like a grimace. Poor Katy. I felt bad for abandoning her, but I honestly had no idea what to do. I walked out the door and immediately bumped into a hard chest. His familiar scent tantalized me, causing the pain to come rushing back again. I looked up at Chase, our eyes locking instantly.

We stood that way for a brief moment before he broke contact. He stepped away from me and my composure broke. I was going to cry. I couldn’t control the tears this time, so I took off, running down the hall, making my way towards the entrance. I could hear him calling my name, but I couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop. I had to get away from him. I couldn’t let him see what kind of reaction he caused.

I made it out to Grandma’s truck and climbed in quickly. I sat there for a minute, letting the tears fall. I didn’t want to stop them this time. Why should I? I deserved to feel this way. I deserved to be miserable and in pain. Everyone who ever cared about me ended up in pain, so why shouldn’t I suffer with them? I deserved to live in my own hell.