“Where were you and who was that?” Sarah questioned.
“That was Jake’s uncle. I asked him to give the letter to Jake, but I was stupid enough to follow him to the third floor where Jake would be.”
“Did you see him?” Sarah looked happy for me.
“Yeah…but I left before he could see me.” I wanted to sound casual though I knew I had failed.
“Emily. Do you want to go back and see Jake before you leave? We have some time before your plane takes off.”
Truth be told, I desperately wanted to see Jake one last time. My heart hoped if he saw me, he would welcome me back into his life. Maybe he would even tell me he missed me. I knew I would be crushed when my hope remained only that—a hope.
“No, Sarah. What good will that do? I’d only be hurting myself again. I just wished I knew how much I loved Jake before Max proposed. I didn’t realize losing him would be this hard. Let’s go.”
At the airport, Sarah and I said good-bye and I handed her my contact number.
“This is the phone number to the place where I’m going to stay. I’ll call you often to get updates on the wedding. There will be no cell or e-mail access, and when I write letters to people, I’m not sending a return address. Will you promise me you won’t tell anyone, not even Charlie, that you have my contact info? Please promise me.”
Sarah appeared annoyed with me. “Must you go to this length to forget a man? You’re so ridiculous. I have a good mind to call Jake and chew him out for forcing you into solitude. You’ll be so lonely there by yourself. Don’t do this. You don’t have to go.”
“Sarah, I want to go,” was all I said, walking toward my new life.
Chapter 14 Finding Emily
February 1
Dear Jake,
I’m sure you don’t want to hear from me but I thought I should write at least once to tell you that I am doing well. I finally got settled into Mr. and Mrs. Suzuki’s home. They have two children named Yuki and Ryu, whom I will be tutoring till June.
When I first got to their house, it made me chuckle to think that their entire house could fit into your bedroom. My room is a quarter the size of your bathroom. I guess everything here is compact.
The village is peaceful. There aren’t too many cars here. We either walk from place to place or people scooter around. The school that I work at is nearby. Since all I do is go from school to tutoring, I do a lot of walking.
I hope that you are doing well. Please say hello to your parents and Chief Reid for me. And please apologize to Gram for me. Let her know I really wanted to meet her, and though I’d only spoken with her once, she made a wonderful impression on my heart. Take care.
Emily
February 2
Dear Jane,
Please forgive me for not having called before I left. I couldn’t get myself to talk to you after I saw Jake in New York. I’m in Japan right now teaching English. I don’t know when I’ll come back home. I hope you’ll understand when I tell you I want to sever all ties with home for a while.
I’ve made such a mess of everything. I have so many regrets—turning down your brother’s proposal so quickly, not turning down Max’s quickly enough, but the biggest regret I have was never having shown Jake how much I loved and appreciated him. I always knew deep inside he was the one for me. Why was I so scared to admit this to anyone?
Even though I didn’t get a chance to fully tell him about my love, I hope he got a good sense of it when he read my journal. I gave him my journal as his Christmas present. I hope my writing clearly illustrated these emotions.
Thank you for being such a good friend. When I get strong enough, you will be the first one I send a return address to. Until then, I’ll write…you read. Take care.
Emily
February 17
Dear Max,
Hello, dear friend. Hope school is going well. I’m settled here in my new home, and the family that I am staying with is wonderful. It’s been a bit difficult since they don’t speak much English and I don’t speak any Japanese. The children have served as translators.
I’ve been here almost a month now. Mr. Suzuki, my host, took me on his fishing boat yesterday. We left around 10:00 p.m. and didn’t get home till about 4:00 a.m. I have never been so seasick in my life. It didn’t dawn on me to take a Dramamine. I threw up many times over the boat.
We, or I should say, Mr. Suzuki and his crew, caught this monstrous tuna. I wish I had my camera on me. When they first caught it, I thought it was a baby whale. I didn’t know a tuna was so huge. It’s a bit lonely here by myself but I’m doing well and having a great time in Japan. I’ll be visiting Tokyo this coming weekend. I’ll write again soon.
Em
February 25
Dear Jane,