Not having driven a car for so long, my legs confused the clutch from the brake to the accelerator—so much for a convertible sports car. The gentleman at the rental agency winced when he heard the car sputter, then peel out of the parking lot. Leaving the airport took a bit longer than expected, so I rushed toward the hotel to check in and then to meet Sarah. We had much to do before tomorrow’s wedding. With the top down and the sun beating on my head, I breathed in the LA air—or smog—and drove past the spot that could’ve been the start of my happily ever after. I couldn’t help but stare at the corner of La Cienega and Century Boulevard, where Jake had proposed five months ago. Our indelible memories of love filled my mind. Regret was the only word I could use to describe my feelings right now.
Although my stay would only last till tomorrow night, memories of the last seven months rushed back into my mind. Absent-mindedly, I found myself passing the hotel and going till the end of the freeway toward home. I drove by General Hospital and imagined Jake performing his multiple surgeries. I drove by my house and found my tenant’s car in the garage. Eventually, my car ended up in front of Jake’s house, idle. I had nowhere else to go. This felt like home. I wanted nothing more than to ring the doorbell and see him smile at me, though this was far from reality.
Hesitant, but desperate to see Jake, I mustered up the courage and walked up his driveway with Sandy and Bobby’s gift. I bought a clock from an old gentleman in my village, and knew Sandy would enjoy the story behind the gift. For Bobby, I found an old Japanese doctor’s ‘manual’ from World War II. It contained remedies for all bodily ailments. Of course, I would have to translate it for him. Maybe that could prolong my visit since Jake was probably at work. My legs dragged up the driveway, and my heart weighed heavily upon me. Even with the knowledge that this one visit would undo the months of strengthening myself and my heart, I had a fierce wish for my own undoing.
Feelings of foolishness grew with the number of steps leading to Sandy and Bobby’s house. This was my ex-boyfriend’s home and I was coming unannounced, bearing gifts. My pride finally protested and made me take a hard look at myself. You are an idiot, Emily! Nobody welcomes you here anymore. How awkward. What will you say to these people? Dejected, my body turned itself around.
Walking back to the car, someone honked and waived furiously at me. To my delight, it was Bobby and Sandy. Sandy ran out of the car and hugged me dearly. Her hug jump-started a rush of unwanted emotions. I held back the best I could.
“Emily, when did you get back? I’ve missed you so much.” Bobby came over and hugged me as well.
“I’ve missed both of you too,” I answered weakly.
“Are you back for good?” Bobby asked.
“No, I’m only here till tomorrow. It’s my best friend’s wedding,” I answered both of them while handing them each their gifts. “I stopped by to drop these off.”
“That’s so sweet of you. Emily, where are you staying tonight? Why don’t you stay with us?”
Sandy’s mothering plea accelerated my sadness. Both Jake’s parents looked shocked to see me cry.
The back of my hand peeled off whatever makeup was left from this morning as I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Your kindness reminded me of my mom and dad.” I didn’t tell them how alone I felt right now. “I should go. Sarah needs me. I just came by to drop these off.”
“Emily, wait!” Sandy begged. “Please stay. Remember back on Christmas Day, I asked you to think of me when you needed a mother?”
Tears dropped in unison with my bobbing head.
“Stay with us. Let me take care of you—you look so frail and just as lost as my son.” Sandy was the doctor I’d been searching for to heal my wounds, and just possibly, her love could be my panacea. “You and Jake have been in so much pain the last half a year. Let me share your burden and help you resolve this mess.”
By this point, there was no stopping the stream pouring from my eyes. I quickly hugged Sandy as tightly as I could, then got in my car and left. The road was a big blur from the dam that flowed out of my eyes. Trying to push behind the sadness, I sped down the freeway, checked into my room, and then finally went to meet the jubilant bride.
“Emily!” Sarah came running. We held each other, happy to see one another. Charlie came over and gave us a three-way hug.
“Emily.” This time Sarah used a disapproving tone. “Why have you lost so much weight again? During all our phone calls, it never dawned on me to ask you if you were taking care of yourself. I should have known.”
I shrugged my shoulders and didn’t answer her. She would see right through my attempt at a lie, so I decided to change the subject and ask her what I could do to help.
“First off, I want you to go to alterations in the basement and get your dress fixed. There’s no way your dress will fit now.” Sarah was shaking her head back and forth, critical of my new figure. “Then, I want you to come with me to the salon so we can get a facial. Since the wedding is a noon ceremony, we need to get our faces prepped today. After the facial, we’ll have the rehearsal and then we’ll have an early dinner.”
“OK,” was all I could say. Charlie walked me to alteration and got me up to speed on what’s been going on in everyone’s life.
“Are you really going back tomorrow?” Charlie wanted to know. “You’re not going to stick around and hang out with your friends for a while?”