“Charlie. What would I do here if I stayed a few more days? There’s no family to visit, no house to stay in, and you and Sarah will be off in Hawaii. What would keep me here?”
“What about Jake?” As soon as he said this, my downcast look made him stop immediately. “All right, Emily. I’ll see you tonight at dinner. Bye.”
While in Japan, I hadn’t noticed much change to my body, but trying on this dress five months later, the mirror displayed an unhealthy figure. As soon as the seamstress finished with me, I headed for the salon and I confessed to Sarah what had happened before coming to the hotel. She shook her head.
“Emily, why? Why do you hurt yourself like this?”
“I don’t know, Sarah. I got here and that’s where my heart led me. That felt like home.” I finished this conversation and started a new one that wouldn’t put me in the spotlight.
Standing next to Sarah at the altar during rehearsal reminded me of my emptiness even more. Being back home was more painful than I’d imagined it to be. Of course, a wedding worsened the pain. But, I did my best to focus and know my role as the maid of honor for my best friend. Regardless of my feelings, sadness had no place in this wedding. I would enjoy this day with my dear friends.
Though Sarah and Charlie had only invited immediate family to the rehearsal dinner, greeting all of them and explaining my five-month absence exhausted me. I was hoping to see Max and Peter, but Charlie told me that they were working at the hospital tonight in order to have tomorrow free. Catching up with my dear friends would have to wait until tomorrow.
We all turned in early, as I had the job of picking up the bride at 7:00 a.m. for her makeup and hair appointment at the salon. With a noon wedding, every minute counted and I didn’t want to be responsible for making the bride late on her wedding day.
The morning schedule went off without any glitches, and we arrived at the hotel an hour before the ceremony. When I saw Sarah come out of the dressing room ready to walk down the aisle, I went over and carefully hugged her. She shined brighter than the sun.
“Sarah, you are the most beautiful bride!” I declared.
“Thanks, Emily. Thank you for being here. I know it’s hard for you right now.”
“Sarah, I love you, and I’m so very happy for you. This is your glorious day. Let’s not talk about anything else but you and Charlie.”
It did make me sad to be here. Seeing Sarah reminded me that this could’ve been my dream as well. Not wanting to demonstrate any hint of misery, I erased these thoughts and helped Sarah begin her new life.
The minster had the bride and groom say their vows and Charlie happily kissed the bride. We all cheered for the happy couple, and I finally caught a glimpse of Max. As always, he was warmly smiling at me. After pictures were done, we walked into the reception hall and I helped Sarah greet her guests.
After lunch and a long toast by the best man, Sarah and Charlie went out to the dance floor as a couple. They looked blissful together. As their song ended, Max walked over to me, hugged me affectionately, and asked me to dance.
“Hi, Max. It’s wonderful to see you.”
“Em. It’s good to see you too. I’ve missed you. How have you been?” He held my hand to the dance floor, started asking me about my stay in Japan, and guilted me into telling him the exact location of my whereabouts.
“I can’t believe you sent me letters with no return addresses! What was that all about?” He sounded flabbergasted.
I apologized.
“Why would you do this, Em? Didn’t you think maybe we’d want to converse with you as well? I had so many things I wanted to tell you. There was no way for any of us to know how you were really doing. I’ve missed you.” Max’s worried eyes made me regret not allowing a two-way communication with my friends.
“I’ve missed you too. Before I leave, I’ll write down my address, and you can write to me. Maybe you and Peter can visit me as well.”
“How about an e-mail address so we can have faster communication? Or maybe even a cell phone number?” A mocking question, one after another, trailed. “Perhaps we can even text—your favorite method of communication?”
“I don’t have a computer there nor do I have a cell phone. I could give you the Suzuki’s home number but you’ll just be better off writing letters. There’s something to be said about receiving a letter in the mail—the old-fashioned way.” I put an emphasis on the last four words.
“Do you want me to get you a laptop and/or a cell phone before you leave? How can you be so cut off from life? And also, were you serious when you said that you were staying another year?” Once again, there was disapproval in his eyes.