“So, if you got a chance to talk to Jake…” Jane shook her head and stopped her train of thought. “…no, let me put it this way…if Jake asks you to marry him again, what will you do?”
That was an easy answer…now. “When I said no to Jake the first time, I knew it was only a matter of time before I accepted his proposal. I love your brother but I was scared back then. Now, if I got another chance, there’s no way I’d let him go. But, that’s just wishful thinking. When you called me about this weekend, I told myself this was my chance to let out all the pain and start letting go.”
“Emily!” Jane pleaded. “Don’t do this to yourself. We promised to be sisters.” She lightly smiled and wiped away my tears. “Jake can be stubborn, but I know he’s dying inside right now without you. He’ll come around.”
“No. He’s made himself pretty clear. Since he told you we weren’t seeing each other, I don’t know what else to think but that he’s moved on. All this time, I thought that we were still together, just going through a rough patch. I’m such an idiot. It never occurred to me that in his mind, we had broken up. He’s probably so tired of my emotional ups and downs. He probably thinks that I’m a serious nut job.”
We both chuckled.
“Emily, Jake didn’t say in those words that you guys had broken up. You need to understand something. Jake shuts down completely when he’s upset. It drives my mom batty that he stops talking to her when something sets him off. When we were younger, if he thought that he was wronged somehow, he would march up to his room and not talk to anyone for days. I guess old habits die hard. I thought he might have grown out of this by now.”
“He might have shut down on me initially, but I really think he’s moved on with his life. I’ve been nothing but heartache to him.”
The truth hurt.
“Jane, will you do me a favor?”
“Sure,” she answered gladly.
“Please don’t repeat any of this to Jake or to any member of your family.”
“Why not? Shouldn’t Jake know how you feel?”
“Yeah, he should, but evidently he doesn’t want to know. If he does have a chance to hear it, I’d like for him to hear it from me. Please?” I begged.
“Oh, all right! I’ll keep my mouth shut. By the way, you must be starving. Let’s go get something to eat.”
We filled the rest of the day with food, sightseeing, food, shopping, and more food. We attempted to go see a show, but my lack of sleep snuck up on me in the cab on the way to the show. Jane turned the cab around and headed back to her apartment. Sleep—which had avoided me since Christmas night—became my best friend tonight.
Early the next morning, the phone rang, and Jane yelled so loudly I quickly ran to her room to see what was going on. She began apologizing as I calmed her down.
“That was Nick on the phone. Jake and Nick are in town and they’re on their way here. I’m so sorry, Emily. Please believe me when I say that I didn’t know that they were coming. I checked with my mom, and she told me that Jake was scheduled to work all weekend.”
My knees buckled at the thought of seeing Jake again. I panicked and ran to the guest room and started packing my belongings.
“Emily, I’m so sorry!” Jane began crying.
I comforted her and told her not to worry. Of course I trusted Jane. I knew that she wouldn’t trick me into coming to New York to meet up with her brother.
“Jane, it’s OK. I’ll leave.”
“Emily,” she cried some more. “No. Don’t go. This is your chance to talk to Jake and resolve your problems. You have nowhere else to go. Please stay!”
She could tell by my doubtful expression that her words were not convincing.
“Where will you go? Don’t you want to clear up this misunderstanding?”
“I don’t know where I’ll go. And yes, I’d like to go back to my life before Christmas, but I think what’s between me and Jake is a bit more than a misunderstanding,” I answered as curtly but politely as possible, trying to squelch any emotion, lest I cry again. “I’ll call you when I figure it out.”
I had no idea where I would go. To a hotel? Back home? As much as I wanted to see Jake one more time, I didn’t think my feeble heart could handle it. I thought it best to leave before they arrived.
Ding Dong.
Too late. My heart beat a million times a second. I felt faint and nauseous again. My face turned red from the tears I held back and my body began to shake. The moment I had dreamt of for the last three weeks crept up on me in the last thirty minutes. How was I going to handle seeing Jake without crying? I wanted to be strong but didn’t know how.
“What are you doing here?” Jane yelled after slamming the door.
“What’s gotten into you?” That sounded like Nick fighting back.
“Why didn’t you let me know you were coming?”
“We did. That’s why we called when we landed at JFK. Why are you so angry we’re here? I have some good news. Jake agreed to keep our reservation at Masa so we’re basically here to eat dinner. We’re both leaving first thing tomorrow morning.”