Yesterday, it all came to a terrible end. You remember Max, don’t you? Well, he also proposed to me, but I didn’t turn him down even though I don’t want to marry him. Jake saw everything that happened with Max, got mad, and left me. Momma, he left me stranded at the Grand Canyon. For eight hours I waited for him. He never came back.
Momma, what do I do when a boy breaks my heart this badly? You never taught me this lesson before you left. Why did you both have to leave me so early? I’m so lonely right now, and there’s no one I can turn to. Maybe I was never meant to keep the love I find. Maybe anyone who’s ever loved me will leave me, just like you both did. I’m sorry to come all the way over here and blame you for my woes, but I’m really mad at both of you. You’re up in heaven happy with one another while I’m down here miserable by myself.”
What was I doing? I snapped myself out of my childish tirade.
“I’m sorry, Mom and Dad. I’ll be OK. I’m sad now but don’t worry about me too much. You know I’m a survivor.”
I cried on them till the sun went down.
Though physically and emotionally exhausted from all the crying, I chose to fly back home tonight. Home provided stability and warmth, and I desperately needed to be back in my own surroundings.
My phone rang many times. No doubt, they were all calls from Sarah.
“Hello?”
“Emily, are you OK? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all yesterday and today. Why aren’t you picking up your calls? I’ve been worried about you.”
“Hi, Sarah. I’m sorry for worrying you. I saw my parents today, and now I’m at the airport.”
“When does your flight land in LA? I’ll come get you.”
“I get in late. I’ll catch a cab home.”
“Emily, who catches a cab in LA? Text me your flight information, and I’ll pick you up.”
“Ok, thanks. I’ll do that. See you soon. Bye.”
I hung up the phone wondering when this sadness might leave me. Perhaps when I got home, Jake and I could resolve our problem and go back to loving each other again. Sadly, I believed our time was done but with forced optimism I texted him even before sending Sarah my flight information.
Hi, Jake. I’m at the airport coming home after visiting my parents. I’d hoped that you might have called by now—but you haven’t. I know I messed up our relationship, but I’d really like to try to work it out with you. Please forgive me. I can’t imagine how hurt you must be right now. Believe me when I tell you I love you. Please call me.
Before I hopped on the plane, I had one last call to make.
“Hi, Max.”
“Em. Where are you? Sarah told me what happened. I’ve been worried sick about you. I’m so sorry I left you back in Arizona. Peter forced me back to LA and I had no idea that you were left stranded. What happened to Jake? How could he just leave you there?” Max’s caring voice turned to anger. “Emily Anne Logan, why didn’t you call me when you needed help?” He got even angrier.
“Max, I’m OK. I’m on my way home right now. I was hoping we could talk sometime soon? You and I need to resolve our issues.”
“Sure. I’d like to meet with you too.”
“As soon as I get back, I’ll call you. Do you have a hectic school schedule this winter?”
“Yeah. School’s going to be hard, but I’ll make time to talk with you. Em?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, and I’m sorry for taking so long to get my act together.”
“I know, Max. I know you’re sorry.”
“Em?”
“Yes, Max.”
“I love you.”
“I know that too. Bye.”
It felt good to have a conversation without choking up. Letting any emotion overpower common sense would result in disaster for me. From now on, I needed to find strength in myself, and only myself.
Chapter 11 Lost
The flight back was pleasant, and though I was tired, I looked forward to opening up to my best friend. Sarah came over equipped to spend the night and go to work the next morning from my house. Her wrinkled forehead and pronounced frown demonstrated her own heartache and distress for me. Between hearing bits and pieces from Max and Peter it was my turn to fill in the blanks. Whether or not I had the emotional capacity to tell the entire story, Sarah deserved to know the truth.
After a late dinner, Sarah was ready to be my crying shoulder.
“What happened? Start from the beginning when you and Max disappeared Saturday morning.”
The entire story spanned from breakfast to Grand Canyon to the night we spent at the ranch.
“Sarah, did you know that Max was going to propose to me?”
“Yeah, I found out after he broke up with you. I figured it would do you no good to know this information since he was dating Jennifer.”
“Did you also know that he was going to propose again?”
“No. I think Peter was the only one who knew. Peter told me he tried hard to convince him otherwise, but Max wouldn’t listen. Max heard our conversation when we first got to Vegas, and he got nervous when he heard that Jake had proposed.”