In the Air (The City Book 1)

The hours I spent in the cafe with Natalia were the best I had in a long time. Whenever she laughed, she lost all inhibition, and in those moments, she was especially beautiful.

Not wanting the blissful afternoon to end, I canceled on Aubrey. Things had changed so drastically between us that spending an evening with her and her family would mean I'd be rolling my eyes and checking my watch every five minutes.

When Aubrey and I started dating in the eighth grade, her father, Benjamin, was ecstatic that she was going out with a boy whose family was just as comparable to them in wealth and status.

As Aubrey and I got older, Benjamin's opinion of me changed. The more serious I became with dance, the more respect he lost for me. I wasn't a "normal" boy playing "normal" sports. When he heard the news that I'd be attending Juilliard and leaving Connecticut, he'd told me a starving artist didn't deserve to date his daughter. Since then, he's been trying to end our relationship. When I'd bring it up to Aubrey, explaining how her father was trying to break us up, she didn't believe her father would ever do such a thing.

Taking a deep breath, I dug my phone out and dialed Aubrey's number, preparing myself for the monsoon that was about to ensue.

"Hello?" Aubrey answered, lively.

"Hi, Aubs. I've got some bad news." I could feel her chipper mood diminish.

"Don't even tell me you're canceling on me tonight, Samson. Just don't."

"I'm canceling on you tonight," I stated. I couldn't stomach the thought of spending the next five hours in a room full of stuffy, rich people who only wanted to discuss how much money they had.

"You're an a*shole. If you really didn't want to come, you should have told me earlier this week. Daddy bought us seats already. Do you realize how bad that makes you look?"

"Aubrey, your dad hates me. He'll be ecstatic when he finds out that I'm not coming."

"Stop talking like that. He doesn't hate you–he could never hate the man I love." As they say, ignorance is bliss.

"Whatever you say. Look, I just have a lot of work to do and I don't have enough time to do it. I need to get going." It made me sick to lie, but I needed to spend more time with Natalia and I had to figure out the reason for that.

"You're really causing problems for us, Samson." She felt the need to continuously remind me that I was the one screwing everything up.

Before our problems started, she and I had always been joined at the hip. Besides my dance teacher, Aubrey and my mother were the only people in my life who supported me, but within the last year, something changed. Aubrey's compassion and easy-going attitude were replaced by acidity and coldness. She became closed off and unwilling to support my dreams. Aubrey was all that I'd ever known. I never questioned my relationship until I moved away. I realized that being in New York was exactly what I needed. With the distance between us, I was finally able to see that I deserved better.

"Aubs, what's happened to you? I barely recognize you anymore."

"I chose to grow up, Samson. I gave up the juvenile idea of becoming a photographer and decided to actually do something with my life." Her voice began to shake, suggesting she was on the edge of tears. As much as she bashed her old self, I knew deep down, she missed that girl just as much as I did.

"You used to love that juvenile idea." I recalled a memory of the time that Aubrey and I went to Niagara Falls. We spent three days laughing, and taking pictures of everything in sight. We were blissfully content in each other's company. I was glad we had those pictures to remind us that there used to be good times.

Aubrey began sniffling into the phone. She was crying and I felt awful for being the one that caused her tears.

"I wish we could find our way back to how things used to be, Aubrey. I'm trying, but I feel like I'm failing every minute of the day."

"I have to go. I have to get ready, and explain to my family why you won't be there."

I could hear the pain in her voice, but I was tired of arguing with her and I knew the battle inside of her was waning. Our love for each other seemed as if it had slammed into a brick wall, ultimately leaving our relationship in shambles.

"Since I'll still be in town tomorrow morning, we should meet for coffee and discuss our relationship."

"I think that's a good idea. We need to figure some things out," I said. I looked at my watch and noticed that it was already 8 P.M. Remembering that Natalia said she would be at the venue early, I wrapped up my phone call. "Have fun tonight, Aubrey." I hung up the phone, aware that neither of us said the words 'I love you.' We hadn't exchanged those words in weeks. My relationship was on thin ice and I didn't know if I wanted to save it. Two years ago, I would have done anything to salvage it, but now, I questioned if it was worth it at all.

I hurried back to my dorm and my roommate, Myers was sitting at his desk, working on his computer. "Hey, Myers. Crazy seeing you here."

Since I'd moved in, he'd been like a ghost, disappearing every time I came appeared. Myers' side of the room was bare, with only his bedding and books out on display. Since he was never there, we'd never had a chance to really talk. It was weird rooming with someone I didn't know a thing about aside from his first and last name.

Myers didn't look like an eighteen year old. This guy looked like he was at least thirty. I was almost positive he somehow cheated the system and lied about his age. The first thing I noticed about him was his beard. In Connecticut, everyone was always clean-shaven. Here in New York, in the course of a block, you'd count at least ten guys with extreme beards. Myers black hair was styled like Fonzie, and he had a ton of tattoos: a huge black and white koi fish on his lower left arm, and his entire right arm was covered in ink. On one calf, he had a ship, and on the other, a lighthouse. I'm sure there were more. As Wren informed me, once you get one, it's hard to stop. The only thing I really knew about Myers was that he was here for music, majoring in the upright bass. If he didn't seem like such a reclusive person, I might have tried to get to know him better. I had a feeling he was just as pissed as I was when finding out it was a requirement to live in the dorms your first year.

"Yeah, I was just heading out actually. I've got a thing." Myers response was lacking, almost like he was hiding something.

"I was just getting changed and heading to Mercury Lounge. If you want to come, I'm –"

He cut me off before I could finish with my invitation. "No, thanks." He grabbed his bag from the ground and walked to the door. "Have a good one," he said, closing the door on his way out.

I was left wondering what kind of weirdo I was stuck living with. I quickly threw on a pair of jeans, a button up, tie, and a cardigan. I didn't know what type of place I was going to, but I was sure what I had picked to wear was fine. As I walked outside to catch a cab, I realized that I'd be meeting Natalia there alone. This would definitely look like we were on a date. We agreed to be friends. To avoid any confusion, I called Wren to see if he wanted to join me. It seemed like his sort of thing: bar, loud music, riled crowd.

"Samson, what's going on, dude?"

A cab pulled up to the curb. I climbed inside and told the driver where to go.

"I'm heading to Mercury Lounge, actually. Going to check out some band." I forgot the name of the band we were seeing tonight...something about roadkill.

"You are going to Mercury Lounge? Sam, that doesn't really seem like the type of place you'd go. Are you wearing a tie?" Wren's incredulous tone came through loud and clear. How'd he know I was wearing a tie?

"Don't worry about what I'm wearing, a*shole. Do you want to come or not?"

"As much as I would love to come and see everyone's reaction to your dapper outfit, I can't."

"That's right. You've got that gynecologist appointment in the morning," I jabbed.

"Don't worry. I'll be back in time to see you parading around in class."

I hung up with Wren, amused. I thought about all of the things I'd learned about Natalia that day. The way she described the hospital visits and the waiting she endured while her father was being treated made me want to hold her in my arms. I wanted nothing more than to be the shoulder that she could cry on. I barely knew her, but my gut instinct was to keep all the bad things from her. Going to that cafe was probably the best decision I'd made in a long time.

When I hopped out of my cab and stood in front of Mercury Lounge, I realized why Wren asked if I was wearing a tie. Most of the people who stood outside wore band T-shirts and tight fitted jeans. I wore tights on a daily basis: there's no way I'd shove my nuts into something that constricting when I didn't have to. Showing the doorman my fake ID, he studied me and allowed me to pass through. $400 well spent.

The place was tiny. Bumping a few shoulders on my way in, I headed to the bar. I needed a drink before braving the crowd again to find Natalia. After what felt like an hour, I finally reached the bar and ordered a whiskey. The lights above me looked as if they could fall on my head at any moment, so I stepped a few inches to my left, just in case. I turned my head and noticed the venue in the back, but I wasn't able to see anything past the massive beards. This place was where flannel shirts went to die. It smelled like death and sawdust. I was surrounded by people who were completely different from me. The typical crowd I hung out with preferred high-end clubs, their favorites being Lavo and Simyone. Up to this point, I had lived my life in excess. All I wanted now was to live my life normally. I was tired of classifying someone by what kind of car they drove or which neighborhood they lived in. When I was given a new BMW for my sixteenth birthday, my cool points doubled. It was exhausting having to constantly prove myself, when all I cared about now was being one of the best at Juilliard.

Draining my drink, I slammed it down on the bar just as the band finished their set. The crowd cheered and began clearing away from the stage. I looked to the front and spotted Natalia. Her beauty lit up the entire room. She looked at me, smiled, and I felt my heart beat like a kick drum. Her sun-kissed blonde hair, which was typically in a ponytail, fell past her shoulders, framing her petite features. Her legs were bare, perfectly pale. As I walked toward Natalia, Kingsley came into view and all of my happiness evaporated.

I was definitely going to be cock-blocked all night.





"Happy you could make it. I'm sure this isn't your usual crowd." Looking at Samson, it was obvious. He was wearing a tie, for God's sake! And were his jeans creased? As out of place as Samson seemed, I thought he looked great. The guys I had dated typically wore T-shirts and a flannel button-up. I wonder what Samson wears to bed? Does he keep it casual or is he more of a luxury fabric kind of guy? As fast as the thought, I banned it from my mind. Samson and I both agreed to be friends, nothing more. I chuckled quietly. My head had been in disarray all week and I didn't anticipate it clearing up anytime soon.

"What's so funny?" He gave me a wary look.

"Nice outfit." Kingsley appeared at my side, observing Samson's outfit.

They glared at each other in silence. I was about to ask if they were playing the blinking contest when Kingsley spoke.

"Let me guess, your interview for a yacht salesman didn't go so well, so you're here drowning your sorrows?"

I didn't understand how Kingsley could criticize anyone's appearance. In the short time Samson and Kingsley had been in the same room together, I could almost feel the negativity oozing from their bodies. I needed to figure out a way to keep them from ripping each other's throats out. Maybe alcohol would do the trick.

"You two don't even know one another, so quit with the glaring and let's grab some drinks," I demanded.

Kingsley turned her gaze to me. "I know his type. They're all the same. Pretty, rich boys who think they can snap their fingers and get whatever they want." She turned to Samson and flicked him off before stomping away to the bar. I was almost positive we wouldn't be seeing her for the rest of the night. Maybe I wouldn't have to control two hot-tempered personalities after all.

"I'm sorry about her," I gave Samson a tight lipped smile. "She flicks me off all of the time, too." I shrugged my shoulders and beamed up at Samson, hoping to ease the tension. "This will be fun," I declared, trying to convince us both.

"We'll see." His unconvinced tone came across loud and clear.

As we made our way to the bar, Samson stopped to take his phone from his pocket. "I need to take this, but I'll meet you over there." He held up his index finger and gave a restrained smile. I wonder who that could be.

I reached the bar to find Kingsley hanging on the arm of a new guy covered in piercings and tattoos. She must go for a certain type. She was laughing wildly, ignoring the glares thrown her way from the other patrons.

"Hi!" I chimed, bumping Kingsley's shoulder to get her attention. She gave me a wide-eyed stare and then motioned her head toward Tattoo Guy. Picking up on her less than subtle hints, I rolled my eyes and turned away.

I wasn't sure what Samson liked to drink, but I ordered two beers, hoping he would be okay with that. I walked back toward the stage, staying at the back of the crowd, so that Samson could easily find me whenever he returned.

Just as the band began, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Samson. Something was bugging him.

"Is everything okay?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Yes." He looked down at my hands, and smiled. "Everything is good, now." Taking the beer from my left hand, he lifted it in the air to cheers. "To new friends." His eyes went dark as we tapped our bottles together.

Friends. Each time Samson said that word, it deflated me. The crooked smile returned on his face as he took a drink. Every time the dimple on his right cheek appeared, my stomach dipped, like I had just jumped out of an airplane. The ironic thing about it was that I had no idea how either situation would work out. The fall could either end in joy or destruction.

The crowd began cheering as the lead singer belted out the first note. It felt incredible being in New York at a club I'd always wanted to go to, though I would never have pictured being here with Samson. Twenty-four hours ago I would have objected to it, but after allowing myself to be vulnerable with him at the cafe and him not freaking out from my outburst, I realized that he was a good guy.

When his arm brushed against mine, I looked up at Samson, who was already staring down at me. My heart was racing like I'd just downed twenty Red Bulls. In the darkness of the room, his eyes still shined a brilliant blue. There was something so honest about his eyes, I had promised myself earlier that there wouldn't be a second kiss, but now I wanted nothing more than to reach up on the very tips of my toes and kiss him.

Roadkill Ghost Choir started playing the first note of their song, "Drifter," and I broke my gaze with Samson to look at the stage. I felt like I was on cloud nine. Music had always been important to me. One of my favorite parts of choreographing a routine was picking out the song. My mom always hated the music I picked. She thought that dancers should only perform to classical music.

I peeked up at Samson, bobbing his head along to the music. He seemed like he was genuinely enjoying himself. I was curious to know who his favorite bands were. Was he a fan of The Beatles? What if he liked Phil Collins? I didn't know if I could ever date anyone that owned a Phil Collins album. We only touched on the basics earlier, and I wanted to learn more about Samson.

I yelled over the music, "Do you like the band so far?"

He bent his head to my ear. "They're great, I really like this song."

I didn't hear his answer because all I could focus on was his breath hitting my earlobe. I closed my eyes. How could my feelings for Samson go from such disdain to absolute desire?

"You said you found these guys on BriteRevolution?"

I didn't register Samson's question. His lips inched closer to my ear. "W-what?" I stuttered as my voice came out breathy.

His laugh brought me back to reality. "You found these guys on BriteRevolution?"

"Oh. Yeah, I did. Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the music." The lie came easily.

The band continued their set. Samson's body was close to mine and I noticed it wasn't due to him being cramped for space. I smiled knowing that Samson preferred standing close to me.

"I don't fit in very well here," Samson shouted.

"I noticed," I said, laughing. I was used to venues like this. The people here dressed a lot like me. Samson stuck out like a sore thumb. The fact that he came showed me that he wasn't the pretentious a*shole I had assumed him to be. I'd never been so happy to be wrong. Of course, I would never admit that to anyone.

"So that's why you were laughing when I first got here? I thought we were friends, Natalia!"

"Haven't you ever heard the saying, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all?'" I laughed and Samson bumped my shoulder. The simple contact could have just as easily been a kiss for the way it made me feel.

"Are you saying I don't look good?"

If Samson was looking for a compliment, I wasn't going to give it to him that easily. "If you really want me to spell it out for you, then fine. Loosen up the tie," I reached to undo the knot in his tie. "And ditch the cardigan."

"Want me to ditch any other part of my clothing?" he asked, a seductive smile showing on his lips.

I looked at him pointedly, refusing to answer his question.

"I'll invite you over the next time I get dressed," he said sarcastically.

I stared down at the ground, trying to banish the image of him wearing only a towel from my mind. Instead, I began thinking of my uncle's ingrown toenail that he teased me with as a child. There, that did the trick.

"I'll bring the matches. We'll need those when we burn the prep out of you." We both laughed. It was bizarre that I wasn't paying more attention to the band, considering they were one of my favorites. With Samson standing next to me, it was easy to forget where I was.

When Roadkill Ghost Choir began playing "Bird in My Window," I closed my eyes and focused on the beauty of the song. The lyrics, "There's a girl in my bedroom, she don't love me anymore," were sung into the microphone and each word soaked into my soul, making me feel like my insides were swaying in an ocean full of melodic serenity. I was so lost in the moment that without thinking, my fingers trailed the inside of Samson's palm. The closeness of his body gave me the impression that maybe he felt a magnetic pull, too. Being friends was a complete joke.

Samson's head snapped toward me the second he realized what was happening. We were holding hands and he didn't push me away. I had no intentions of pushing him away either. If I could, I would super glue our hands together and we'd stay that way. When the song was nearing an end, he gave me a perplexed look and glanced down at our linked fingers.

"Nat–" he began, his eyes freezing onto mine.

I cut him off, stood on the very tips of my toes and kissed him as if the world were ending.





When Natalia's lips touched mine, I felt everything change. This was different than our previous kiss. Natalia initiated the embrace and neither of us pulled away. Her mouth remained on mine. She took control. In that moment of ecstasy, my body was frozen in time.

Natalia reached up and grabbed the collar of my shirt. Her tongue invaded my mouth and I wanted nothing more than to be the best host. No doubt about it–I had feelings for her. When the kiss ended, we stayed locked together. The band wrapped up their set, and I stood there, studying her face. A shiver escaped her as I slipped my hand down to her waist. She wanted me and it was obvious that I wanted her, too.

Natalia's eyes looked at me with so much trust. I had to tell her about Aubrey. Truthfully, I didn't know what to do anymore. Did I still want to be with Aubrey? Even if I did decide to end my relationship, I knew I couldn't jump into another one right away. As I was about ruin the moment with my honesty, she broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I got so caught up in the song and we were holding hands, I –"

"Don't ever apologize for following your instincts, Natalia. That was–" I started to say that the kiss was amazing, but she cut me off.

"I know. It was bad. We shouldn't be kissing, we barely know each other." She removed her hands from my chest and put distance between us. "We're friends."

The way she said the word 'friends' sounded so final.

"Right. At least, we're trying to be. You're making it awfully difficult by kissing me like that." I quirked up an eyebrow and smiled.

"Shut up. You kissed me back," she stated proudly.

I couldn't help but think about the fun situations two dancers could get into. It was useless to try and shake away my x-rated thoughts. I didn't intend to become insanely attracted to my dance partner, but it was hard to control my feelings for her.

"Can we ride back to the dorms together? I think we need to talk." I wasn't looking forward to telling Natalia about Aubrey. I didn't want her to go back to thinking of me as just her dance partner.

"Yeah. Let me make sure Kingsley is okay to get back, although I would be surprised if she's still here. She was on the prowl tonight." She turned her head, searching her roommate. Kingsley would be easy to find in a crowd. She stuck out like a mohawk in a country club.

While Natalia looked for Kingsley, I mentally prepared myself for the conversation that lay ahead.

"I guess she left. I'm ready whenever you are." Natalia appeared nervous.

She followed me out of the bar and onto the sidewalk. New York at night was gorgeous. The bright lights, the crowded streets, and the pedestrians filling up every space on the sidewalk. I loved this city.

The air was cool and the wind bit at the back of my neck. It wasn't summer anymore. Natalia was close to my side and I felt her trembling body. I peeked down at her bare legs, willing myself not to cover them up. They looked far too good to not be noticed, and for some reason, jealousy arose in the pit of my stomach, imagining the guys that had seen her naked. I must have gulped loudly because her head snapped in my direction.

"Something on your mind, Callahan?" she asked, a hint of a smile appeared on her lips.

I had a feeling she knew exactly what I was thinking. She had to be used to guys falling all over her.

"Let's catch a cab, I can tell you're freezing–your lips are turning blue!" I said dramatically. I brushed my thumb against her bottom lip.

"They are?" Natalia's eyes opened wide, revealing their magnificent beauty.

"Brown-eyed girl." I said as I stared into her honey-colored eyes.

"What did you just say?" Her tone changed and she suddenly looked bothered.

"Your eyes made me think about the song," I explained. "Did I say something to upset you?"

"No, It's just that my dad always used to sing that song to me. It was our song." Natalia looked down at the sidewalk, hiding her emotion from me. My hand found her jaw and I lightly pushed her chin back up to look at me.

"I'm sure your father is proud of you." The smile I was growing so fond of appeared on her face. Natalia and I stood there on the corner, as cars drove through the congested streets. For the first time in my life, I was happy a cab had taken its time to show up.

She shivered as the wind picked up and swept through her long hair. I took off my cardigan and wrapped it around her bare shoulders. The T-shirt she wore barely covered her and I had to remind myself that it wasn't my place to hide her body. Still, I made sure to button it all the way up, concealing every inch of skin in the process. Natalia eyed me suspiciously, but she didn't say a word.

"I just don't want you to catch a cold. You're my partner and to be stuck with anyone else would suck."

"That's because no other girl could handle you," she jokingly replied.

"What do you think about not going back to campus just yet? It's still early. Let's do something spontaneous." It had been awhile since I'd done anything impulsive. Aubrey and I used to take random trips to the city, but everything between us had become so mundane over the last year.

"What do you have in mind?" Natalia asked, eyeing me skeptically.

"We could go jump in the Hudson River."

"Best idea you've ever had." Natalia smiled, her sarcasm, obvious.

"We could go streaking," I said, knowing that Natalia was sure to shoot the idea down. My eyes widened when I saw her start to undo the buttons of my cardigan I had loaned her. When she stopped on the last button, I knew she was just trying to rile me up. "You're good," I chuckled. "Since you don't like any of my ideas, you come up with something. Unless you just want to go back to the dorms." I was having a great time with her and I didn't want the night to end.

"How do you feel about cheeseburgers?" she asked.

"What's not to love about cheeseburgers?"

"Kingsley told me about this really great burger place," she said. "It's supposed to be one of the best. I don't think it's too far from here. Let's walk." Natalia began walking ahead of me, but I stopped her mid-motion.

"Where exactly is this place?"

She took out her phone to look it up. "154 East 86th street. That's not far, right?" Natalia looked up when she heard me laughing. From where we were, it would take over an hour to walk there. "What? Is it far from here?"

Her cluelessness about this city was adorable. "You could say that. We could walk it, but by the time we got there, your legs would be numb, then I'd have to carry you, and I already do that enough in class."

"That wasn't very nice, Callahan, but I'll forgive you. You're obviously starving, which is making you delusional." She walked to the end of the curb just in time to hail an oncoming cab. Natalia hopped in first, and I followed, giving our destination to the cab driver. She slinked over to my side and rested her head on my shoulder. I brought my nose near her hair, smelling coconut and vanilla.

"You smell nice."

She sniffed my shirt and laughed.

"I was just thinking you smell exactly like coconuts." I sniffed her hair over-dramatically, which made her laugh harder. She pushed my shoulder lightly, embarrassment showing on her face. "Do you bathe in them or something?"

"It's my secret. I'll never tell." Her voice squeaked, like a little girl.

"I'll tell you one of my secrets," I coerced.

She looked up at me from behind her long eyelashes and gave a small smile which then turned serious. Before our stare could turn into a kiss, I turned my head toward the window, breaking the connection between us. I closed my eyes, wishing I was able to control my feelings. I always thought restraining yourself was overrated, but I knew that's exactly what I had to do

When we arrived, I paid the cab driver and we hopped out of the car. I looked up and read the large sign above the building.

"Shake Shack, huh?"

"Is this place not good? Kingsley could have been lying to me ... it wouldn't be a surprise." She frowned.

"I've never had it, actually."

"We're both Shake Shack virgins!" she squealed, which made me laugh at how excited she had become.

Her easy-going attitude was on display and getting a glimpse of this side of her made her irresistible.

"Let's go eat, crazy." I grabbed Natalia's hand and walked into the restaurant.

The place was much bigger than it looked on the outside. It was pretty busy, but only a few people stood in front of us at the counter. The menu was on the wall to our right, so Natalia and I stood side by side, trying to figure out what to order.

"Mmm, the 'Schroom Burger sounds delicious," Natalia said, staring wide-eyed at the menu.

"Really? It's not meat though. Are you a vegetarian?"

I couldn't imagine biting into an oversized mushroom and tricking my mind into thinking it was just as delicious as the real thing.

"No, but it's a lot healthier than red meat."

"We came all this way. You're getting some meat," I demanded, realizing that sounded much dirtier than I meant.

"Oh yeah?" Natalia raised her eyebrow and smiled.

Shaking my head and laughing, I tried to focus on the menu. After a few minutes, we each ordered the SmokeShack and black and white milkshakes. It didn't take long for Natalia to change her order once hearing how good mine sounded.

Grabbing a few empty stools across from one another, we sat our trays. I was ready to dive into my massive burger until Natalia spoke. I usually wouldn't care about responding with my mouth full of food, but since this was my first time eating a meal with Natalia, I didn't want her to get the idea I was a slob. It would only confirm her hunch that I was raised by wild animals.

"You know, you're not that bad. I guess my immediate impression of you was wrong."

I could tell it took a lot for her to admit that to me. "I guess you're not that bad either," I said sarcastically.

The easiness we felt at the cafe returned. As we ate, we discussed our aspirations. The more Natalia divulged to me, the more impressed I became by her hunger for success. I was eating my last bite when Natalia told me about her dream role.

"Seriously? Do you know how hard that role is? Any role in the Sleeping Beauty ballet is challenging, but Princess Aurora? The work that dancer does is unbelievable." I knew she was a beautiful dancer, but to perform that role, you'd have to be extraordinary.

"You don't think I could do it, do you?" Her voice rose.

"Sure. You can do whatever you put your mind to." I took the last sip of my shake, still shocked by how delicious it tasted. I couldn't believe Kingsley had suggested this place.

"The Rose Adagio. You don't think I can do that part. I'll show you right here!"

Natalia was definitely persistent: she began to stand from her stool, but I placed my hand over hers to stop her.

"I believe you," I said. "Finish eating and you can prove to me how amazing you're later."

Natalia gave me a dirty look and turned back to her half-eaten burger. While she finished in silence, I thought about how at the beginning of the night, I was so worried it wouldn't be much fun, like the time at the cafe was a fluke. It was clear, though, being around her was exactly what I needed after the stress of last year.

After finishing, we walked to the corner of the street. I had a feeling she wanted me to reach out and hold her hand. As much as I wanted to, I didn't. It would complicate things even more. I had to tell her about Aubrey.

We didn't wait long for a cab to arrive, and the ride back to the dorms was silent. I anticipated what I was going to say. I'm sorry? I should have told you I had a girlfriend? We shouldn't have kissed? The cab stopped in front of our building and we stepped out, taking our time. I inhaled the frigid air and turned to grab her hand.

"I have a girlfriend," I blurted.

Natalia's eyebrows furrowed together, showing a deep wrinkle on her forehead. She looked away, her eyes following the passing cars.

"Natalia, did you hear what I said?"

"I should ... I have to go." She pried her fingers from mine and began to rush toward the doors.

"Natalia," I called. "Wait. Stop. Please, just let me explain." I had no idea what I wanted to say to her. Aubrey and I had been a couple since we were in diapers and that's all I'd ever known.

Natalia spun back around, but kept her distance. "Go ahead. Explain to me why you kissed me. Twice." Her tone was clipped. She stared me down, her arms crossed in front of her body and her lips pursed.

"Aubrey and I have been together most of our lives. We've known each other since we were babies. We grew up together." I took a small step closer to her. "But things have been bad between us lately. Then I met you, and everything changed. I left that night you and I kissed because I was ashamed of what I did. You kissed me tonight and I couldn't stop myself from kissing you back. How could I? I felt something with you that I've never felt. I don't know how to explain that, but all I can say is that I'm sorry." I pleaded with Natalia to forgive me. Afraid she was going to run off, I stepped closer this time and reached for her hand, but she backed away, not allowing me to take it.

"I dated someone exactly like you, Samson. If I would have followed my instincts, I wouldn't be standing here feeling completely used."

She turned to walk away, but I grabbed her waist. Her back was to me and I pressed closer against her.

"I never used you, Natalia." I lowered my lips close to her ear, making sure she could hear my words clearly. "We never discussed relationships. I didn't expect you to kiss me tonight. I was planning to tell you about Aubrey. I thought we agreed to be friends." I was talking myself in circles and I didn't know what else I could say to ease the situation.

Natalia spun around and stared up at me for a moment. I was so tempted to pull her closer and kiss her.

"This conversation is going nowhere. All I really want to do right now is punch you in the face, but I would hate to hurt my hand so early in the school year." She rubbed her lips together, waiting for my reply.

"Natalia, just know that the second I laid eyes on you, I haven't stopped thinking about you. Can we talk tomorrow? Please?" I knew it was a lot to ask, but I needed to make this right. I was ready to get on my hands and knees if that's what it took.

"Goodbye, Samson." Natalia's eyes were distant and she walked away without another word.

I tried to call after her, but my throat felt like I had swallowed a dozen cotton balls. As I watched Natalia walk away, a piece of me was leaving with her.