In the Air (The City Book 1)

Three days had passed since the kiss I'd shared with Samson. I wasn't even sure if I should consider it a kiss. Yes, his lips were on mine, technically, but then he pulled away seconds later. I liked it, but not how it made me feel afterwards. Every rehearsal since had been awkward and our only conversations were about dance techniques. From the moment I'd first laid eyes on him, he was like a virus I couldn't seem to kick.

I'd been cooped up in my dorm room the past three hours, contemplating my days here. Before my father died, he told me it was his last wish that I send my audition tape to Juilliard. At first, I laughed.

"I can see the administration watching my audition and laughing at me." I told him.

"Nat, you need to do it. I believe in you."

"You really think I'd make it?" I asked hesitantly.

"You're the best dancer I've ever seen. Don't tell your mom that." He laughed, pulling me into his chest and giving me his crushing bear hug. His encouragement was the one thing that convinced me to follow my dreams. I was here for one reason. Somehow, thoughts of Samson kept deterring me from focusing on those dreams.

Deciding to get some air, I grabbed my purse and headed out. Just as I turned the knob to leave, Kingsley burst in. I jumped back to avoid getting hit in the face by the door.

"I can't believe it. You're actually leaving this dreadful room?" She sashayed past me, dropping her bag on the floor. "Don't tell me you're meeting Samson."

I was already so used to Kingsley's assumptions, that by the second day I was here, it had stopped bothering me.

"No, I thought I would go get some coffee and work on homework. Like you said, this place is dreadful." I wanted to be alone, though I knew I should probably be a good roommate and invite her. "Would you like to join?" I asked half-heartedly.

She laughed and then immediately became serious. "Go to a coffee shop and do homework? Do I really look like the type?"

"No, actually. You look like the type that would have an afternoon filled with random hook-ups."

"I've only known you for a few days, but I think I like you already. We should make best friend bracelets."

I loved Kingsley's sarcasm. Her personality was refreshing and kept me on my toes. Before walking out, I faced her with my own sarcastic smile. "I'll add that to my calendar."

New York City was so different than what I was used to. Mount Prospect wasn't a small town by any means, but the city life had me feeling like a brand new person. I stepped outside and inhaled the air. As I exhaled, I felt weightless. Before coming to New York, I researched places I would have to visit while living here. The typical landmarks, of course, but I also wanted to visit places referenced in my favorite movies and TV shows. I reached for my phone to find a nearby coffee shop and saw that Cafe Lalo was only a mile away. It was featured in You've Got Mail, and since that was one of my favorite movies, I had to visit.

I felt my purse vibrate. Digging out my phone, I saw that I had missed a call from home. My heart grew heavy remembering the times my dad would call to check up on me. It wasn't long ago that I was sitting in the uncomfortable pleather chairs, reading three-year-old magazines, waiting for my dad to finish his chemotherapy treatment. The day he lost his battle to cancer, I lost a piece of myself. Not having my father around for the past year had been extremely hard. Now, with it just being my mother and me, I had to stand up to her by myself. I hadn't figured out how to do that yet.

"Hello, Natalia. I've only talked to you once this week. Your dance teachers must be keeping you very busy."

Immediately, I became irritated. She couldn't even ask how I was doing. "I have been busy. As a matter of fact, I'm on my way to a cafe now to do some homework."

"You mean you're not in the studio practicing? Honey, it's Saturday morning. You should have been practicing for at least two hours already."

I was tempted to hang up, but knew if I did that, the tension would become thicker than it already was. "Mom, I have other classes outside of dance." I stated. My mother didn't understand the rigorous schedule I was faced with my first year. I was completing a four-year degree and at the end, I'd receive my Bachelor of Fine Arts. Since I was getting a degree, it was a requirement for me to take courses outside of dance, ones that focused on writing skills and verbal expression. Even though it was just two Liberal Arts courses I took for the year, my mother believed it would completely take away from the nine classes all centered around dance.

"I don't understand why you didn't just audition for the Milwaukee Ballet School. If you had, you would have been accepted and able to focus on only dance." The sternness in her voice grated in my ears.

"You'll never be happy with what I achieve in my life, will you? Even if I would have gone to Milwaukee, you still would have found something wrong."

"I always told you that dancers don't need degrees. If you're good, you'll get into a company."

Her comment fueled my anger. "Mom, I have to go. I'm at the cafe and it's loud in here. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

As usual, my mother found a way to make me feel as if I was stupid for wanting more. I missed having at least one supportive parent.

I climbed the steps into Cafe Lalo. The inside was just as immaculate as the outside. My eyes immediately went to the expansive glass display, filled with every pastry you could ever want. The brick walls were adorned with colorful paintings throughout the cafe. All but one table was taken, and I grabbed the leather nailhead chair, just as another couple was coming across it. "Sorry, table's taken." They each gave me dirty looks and stormed off. I was already becoming a good New Yorker.

"Good morning. Welcome to Cafe Lalo. My name is Max. Can I take your order?" The man smiled at me, squinting behind his wire-framed glasses.

Being a dancer, you constantly had to be mindful of everything you put into your body. My mother always reminded me not to eat sugar or carbs. Now that I was at Juilliard, I had to be even more conscious of what I ate. Other than the incredible looking pastries that filled the displays, Cafe Lalo had a variety of yummy dishes on their menu, so I chose the organic oatmeal with raisins and hazelnuts. I also ordered a coffee and instructed Max to keep it coming. Caffeine: an addiction I refused to kick.

I sat at my cozy table, drinking my third cup of coffee. I hadn't felt this stress-free since before my dad passed away. I looked up from my paper I was writing, and noticed Samson walking into the shop. My first thought was that he followed me here, but then I snapped back to reality. I dipped down in my seat a moment too late–he spotted me. Crap, there goes my stress-free afternoon.

"Natalia, what are doing here?" He sat down in the empty chair across from me.

What if I was on a date? What an a*shole to assume someone hadn't already claimed that seat.

"They weren't checking names at the door. What are you doing here?" I replied, hoping the bitterness in my voice was evident.

He smiled at me, waving Max over. Where is this dickhead from that he thinks it's okay to wave people over like they are his personal servants?

"Welcome to Cafe Lalo. My name is Max. Can I take your order?" Max didn't seem at all irritated by Samson's rudeness.

"I'll take a coffee, black, and a blueberry scone." Samson handed the menu to Max without a glance in his direction. As Max walked off, Samson's gaze pierced into me.

"I'm sorry about the other night." He seemed sincere.

"Two apologies in one week? I thought you were bad at those?"

"I am, but I feel like we need to clear the air. Every time we've had a conversation, it's ended with you stomping out of the room." Samson eyed me the same way he did before kissing me.

"I believe it was you and your large ego that stomped out of the room the other night." I gave him my best fake smile.

"Listen, Natalia," he started.

I was surprised Samson didn't called me 'doll', but I had to admit, I liked the way my name rolled off his tongue.

"We obviously got off on the wrong foot. I didn't mean to offend you. I think I'm very different from what you perceive me to be."

"I don't recall inviting you to sit down with me, so if you feel like I'm being too harsh, you can get up and find your own table." I looked around the busy cafe, seeing there weren't any tables available. "Looks like everything is filled up though, so you'll have to get your order to go."

It pissed me off that Samson was bringing out my ugly side. I wasn't the type to speak down to anyone, but he was like a tick that was impossible to remove from the surface.

"Geez, Natalia!" Samson raised his voice and I could tell he was getting angry ... so was I. "You act like I ran over your dog! You really don't know anything about me and it doesn't seem as if you care to learn." Samson stood up, reaching for his wallet.

When I saw him digging through his cash, I knew if I didn't stop him from leaving, we would never last the entire year as dance partners. He had a point, I didn't know him. I lumped him into the same category as the types I'd known in Illinois. The love 'em and leave 'em types. The Cole type. Maybe Samson was different.

"Samson, wait," I exhaled, trying to reel in my anger. "You're right. I don't know you that well, and making assumptions is wrong. It's happened to me my whole life and it's awful that I'm being a hypocrite. I'm sorry." I took a deep breath. "It's just ... you have this annoying way about you."

Samson glared down at me. "You're sorry, yet you're still cutting me down?"

"Hear me out. What I'm trying to say is that you portray yourself as someone who's better than everyone else. It just reminds me of someone I used to know." I explained.

Samson returned to his seat. He stared down at the table, contemplating my words. "Someone as in an ex-boyfriend?"

"I don't want to get into that. All I'm saying, is I've steered clear of guys like you for a long time now."

"Guys like me?" Samson's eyebrows squinted together. "Are you basically calling me an a*shole?" His dimples deepened, revealing a full smile.

"Yes," I gestured to him, "but then you give your heart-stopping smile and it's all forgotten."

"You think my smile is heart-stopping?"

My palm hit my forehead, and I heard Samson laugh loudly.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll try and not be such an a*shole," he said genuinely.

"Good." I returned the smile.

"You didn't answer my question though."

I looked up at Samson, confused. "What?"

"You really think my smile is heart-stopping?" His smile reached ear to ear.

Just as I was about to answer, Max returned with a carafe full of coffee and Samson's blueberry scone. Once we were both sure we wouldn't need anything else, Max walked away from the table, leaving Samson and I alone.

"More coffee?"

I nodded and Samson began pouring the heavenly liquid into my empty mug.

"Sugar?" His blue eyes locked into mine.

"Yes, dear?" I jokingly asked and began laughing. Samson joined in and we must have laughed for a good two minutes.

"Think we can be friends, Natalia?" Samson took a bite from his scone, making my mouth water. I longed for the sweet, carb-filled pastry, but knew it would be a mistake.

"I guess so," I said sarcastically.

"Being friends and all, we should learn more about each other. Where did you grow up?"

I wanted to open up to Samson, but I was still a bit wary. How much should I tell him? Would he use it against me someday? I decided to give him just the basics for now.

"I grew up in Illinois. I've been dancing for about fifteen years. What about you? You don't seem like the typical ballerino."

His right cheek quirked up, revealing his endearing smile. "My dad is a cardiologist at a hospital in Connecticut. I was supposed to follow in his footsteps and go to medical school, but I've always wanted to be a dancer. I haven't been dancing as long as you have, though."

"You mean to tell me that you're that good and you haven't been doing it for long?" My eyebrows furrowed together. I had always been so jealous of the dancers who easily picked up on difficult techniques.

"So, you think I'm good?" His crooked smile turned into a full-on one, exposing a set of perfect white teeth.

"I think you've heard that enough times to know you're good. One more compliment and your head will explode."

His laugh filled the cafe. It felt good sitting here and joking with Samson. I was happy I had convinced myself to give him a chance.

"Do you have any siblings?" I had a feeling he didn't. Being an only child, it was easy to spot another.

"No. My mom always wanted a daughter, but my dad was against having anymore after I was born. Since he got his wish by having a son, the conversation was over, though, now that I'm a dancer, I'm sure he wishes he would have had more kids." Samson looked down at his lap, dejected.

"What about your mom? How does she feel about your dancing?" I didn't want to pry, but my curiosity got the better of me. I felt like I could relate to Samson. When he spoke about his dad, I sensed that the pressure put on him was immense.

"My mom is the only person who supports what I do. She's amazing." Samson's face lit-up when he talked about his mother. I could tell they were close. "What about you? Are your parents supportive?" Samson asked and I immediately clammed up.

When asked about my parents, I still didn't know how to respond. Parent. It was no longer plural. "It's just me and my mom," I responded quickly. "She's actually my dance teacher." Now I was the one who looked dejected.

"I don't want to be nosey or anything, and you don't have to tell me, but where is your dad?"

There it was. The question that made me sick to my stomach.

"My dad," I paused, "he died last year."

Samson's eyes met mine. I was expecting him to say the usual, "I'm sorry," or worse, "I know how you feel." After my father's funeral, I counted fifteen people who said that to me. I wanted to scream at them, tell them they had no idea how I felt because loss can't be compared. Samson didn't say either of those things.

"I can't even begin to imagine that kind of pain, Natalia." His hand reached across the table and found mine. He didn't quite hold my hand, but his fingers caressed the inside of my palm.

"It's a pain that's everlasting," I said quietly, not knowing if Samson could hear me over the loud chatter in the cafe.

"Do you wanna talk about it? I'd love to listen."

I wasn't used to sincerity. My mother didn't have a sincere bone in her body. I took a deep breath and began. "He had cancer. It was a long fight and we spent a good chunk of time in and out of the hospital." I laughed, my body responding to the stressful memories. I thought about the hospital that I'd grown so familiar with. If I closed my eyes, I could picture the long hallways leading down to the surgical rooms. I could still hear the constant ringing of telephones and the greeting that the receptionists answered with. I couldn't use hand sanitizer any longer because the smell reminded me of the place where I sat, day and night. It had been a whole year, yet I still felt trapped within the cement walls. Samson's fingers softly caressed my skin as I spoke. "He was wonderful." I felt tears build in my eyes. If I blinked, they would fall down my cheeks, and I didn't want to cry in public. I didn't want to cry in front of Samson. "I need to use the restroom."

I stood from my chair, pushing it back and rushing off. Once I closed and locked the door, I cried. There were many moments like this in my life now. They'd come out of nowhere. I could be doing something as trivial as tying my shoe and all of a sudden, my dad would invade my mind and I'd start bawling.

I sat against the door, my head in my lap, sobbing. After a few minutes, I heard a knock on the door. "Someone's in here," I said loudly, my voice shaky.

"Natalia, it's me," Samson answered.

I wiped under my eyes, glad I had not worn any mascara that morning. Fanning my eyes, I tried my best to hide the fact that I'd been blubbering like a baby. I took a deep breath before opening the door, preparing myself for the world. I'd done that every morning since that fateful night. I smiled to disguise my heartbreak. I wore the mask so well, people around me thought I was strong, however, every piece of me was shattered and I didn't think I'd ever be repaired.

"Natalia," he reached out and pulled me into his chest, "are you all right? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring up your dad." He hugged me tightly and I wished we weren't in a public place. It felt amazing being comforted.

"It's okay." I took another deep breath, inhaling Samson's scent. "It's really okay."

He kissed my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin for an extra moment. We walked back to the table and sat down.

"I just want to say one thing." Samson's blue eyes stared into mine. He slowly licked his lips before speaking. "I don't know much about your life, but I do see how your face lights up when you dance. That's the reason you're here, Natalia. No matter what struggles you go through, you'll always be able to look at your life and know what an incredible feat it was to get where you are today. You deserve happiness."

I was wrong about Samson. Sitting here with him, I was able to see past his facade. Before I knew it, we had been at Cafe Lalo for two hours. I was able to open up about more about my life. We talked about our childhoods, my demanding mother, and more about his father, who had never accepted his choices. Every time Samson brought up his dad, I could see that he was suffering. Like me, Samson faked his own happiness. He was confiding in me, and I in him.

"If you would have told me yesterday that we'd be sitting at a cafe for hours, talking about our lives, I would have laughed in your face," I said, and Samson nodded in agreement. "I should be going. I have plans to see one of my favorite bands tonight. I'm gonna head back and get ready." As I stood from my chair, Samson followed.

"What band? I have plans, too, but they aren't definite. If it's a good band, I'd love to check them out." Samson pressed and I wasn't sure if he really wanted to see the band or just wanted to spend more time with me.

"They're called Roadkill Ghost Choir. I discovered them on BriteRevolution." Every time I mentioned this website, no one knew what I was talking about. Just as I was about to explain what it was, Samson spoke.

"I love that site. I'm always on there looking for new stuff."

"Well, aren't we two peas in a pod?" I immediately wished I hadn't said that. To cover up my embarrassment, I continued. "If you want, you can join me. Their set starts at 9. I'm sure the place will be packed, so I planned on getting there early to grab a spot in the front." I picked up my bag and chugged the last bit of coffee from my cup. I had successfully downed five cups, which meant hell on my bladder.

"That would be awesome. Here, give me your number and I'll call you tonight." He handed me his phone so I could put my number in it. I obliged, of course.

After leaving Samson behind, I became acutely aware of the excitement flowing through my body. I knew this wasn't a date, but spending more time with Samson while listening to one of my favorite bands was a win-win.

Walking back to the dorms, I felt my phone vibrate. Expecting an irate voicemail from my mother, I dragged it out. It was from a number I didn't recognize. "Hope to hang out more tonight, friend." I immediately saved Samson's number.

I arrived back at my room and found Kingsley in a position I never expected to see anyone in. Ever. Her back was to me and she was on her knees. The guy standing before her had his head thrown back in ecstasy. I screamed in horror and covered my eyes. The guy's head snapped up in alarm, and Kingsley whipped her head around. He quickly jumped into her bed, covering his nakedness. Kingsley stood up, without any hint of embarrassment.

"What the f*ck are you doing in here?" she asked leisurely. "Didn't you see the scrunchie on the door?"

How was she not embarrassed about this? The girl had no inhibitions.

"No! It's not like every time I enter our bedroom, I study the doorknob!" I turned to leave but heard Kingsley laughing. Whirling back around, my blood began to boil. "This isn't funny, Kingsley!" I shouted. The guy was horrified. I assumed he didn't know Kingsley well and was just as surprised that she wasn't distressed in the least.

"It is funny, actually." She turned to her bed with an expectant look on her face. "George, you can leave now. My lovely roommate and I are going to have a chat."

Without a word, he jumped out of her bed, balls hanging in full view, and gathered his clothes from the floor. My stomach had started to turn and I felt like I could puke at any moment. When naked George left our room, Kingsley sauntered over to me, stopping an inch from my face. I could have sworn she was about to kiss me, which would have really been the icing on the cake.

"I'm sorry about that, roomie. Pay better attention to the door next time." She bent down and kissed my cheek, walked back to her side of the room, and sat down on her rumpled sheets.

"This is my room, too. I shouldn't have to be scared of what I'm going to find when I come in here!"

"Then I guess you'll be seeing more where that came from. If you ever want to watch, just ask." Her smile was pure evil.

"How are you not embarrassed? That guy just left our room, bare ass naked and humiliated!" I yelled.

"If he gets arrested for indecent exposure, that's his own problem."

I walked over to my bed, completely baffled. Kingsley was unlike any person I'd ever met. Her attitude astonished me. I considered myself easygoing before meeting her. Now, I felt like I was living in a shell, terrified of the world. I needed to calm myself down. Aside from dancing, music was the only thing that gave me peace. I grabbed my headphones and sat on the edge of my bed. Kingsley was now sprawled out, with her legs in the air, tapping to a silent beat. In the week we'd been here, I hadn't gotten a chance to learn much about Kingsley. She went out almost every night and returned when I was asleep. I had no idea how she ran on only a few hours of sleep per night, but it never showed in class. Kingsley's dancing was incredible and she was constantly praised for her talent.

"Why do you keep looking at me, blondie?"

"You might be the most unusual girl I've ever met."

Kingsley laughed at my comment. I had a feeling it wasn't the first time she'd heard that.

"Thank you," she replied.

"Who was that guy?" My curiosity got the best of me.

"Just some guy I met–what do you care?" she asked maliciously.

"I don't." I wrapped my blanket over my legs and scrolled through the playlists I'd created.

"I met him the other night. I was bored, so I called him."

I couldn't imagine myself ever calling up a random guy to have sex because I was bored. I did that with Cole a few times, unfortunately, but never with a stranger. "Have you ever had a serious boyfriend?" I wasn't sure if Kingsley would ever divulge any personal information, but it was worth a shot.

"Yes, but don't expect me to sit here and tell you all about my life. You wouldn't be able to handle it."

I sighed loudly. Just when I felt I was making headway with Kingsley, she'd shut down. "You know, we're going to be roommates for awhile, and getting to know each other may be a good thing. Do you want to know anything about me?"

With my question, Kingsley faced me. "Yes," she responded. "Why are you so interested in a guy who's bound to break your heart?"

I knew she was referring to Samson, but I'd never told her I was interested in him. "It's a good thing I'm not interested in him then," I lied.

"The best advice I've ever received was, 'you can't bullshit a bullshitter.' Remember that the next time you try lying."

I didn't know if she would ever tell me about the guy that shattered her heart, but I knew there had to be one.

"Hypothetically, if I did like Samson, do you really think he'd break my heart?"

Kingsley responded by laughing. Her outburst answered my question.

"Samson came to the coffee shop I was at. We talked for awhile."

"That's nice," she stated, completely uninterested.

"I'm going to see a band tonight and he may come. It should be fun. Do you want to join?"

"Go with you on a date? Like, be a third wheel? Absolutely not," Kingsley answered.

"Not with us. He may or may not come. I was originally going by myself."

"What's going on with you two?" Kingsley asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," I lied, "we're dance partners and friends." I might have feelings for him, but it doesn't matter because we're only friends.

"Don't lie to me, Natalia," she glared at me from her bed.

"Fine." Geez, how does everyone know when I lie? "The first night here, I wasn't able to sleep, so I went to the rehearsal space to dance. I guess Samson had the same idea. To make a long story short, we almost kissed. Well, we did kiss. Sort of. As soon as his lips left mine, he practically ran out the room." My cheeks began to heat.

"I knew there was something going on with you two. Do you like him?"

Now she was interested. I had only known him for a short time, but I thought about him constantly. No, he's my friend. That's it.

"We're friends," I confirmed. I did like him, but it was too soon to admit that to anyone. Now that any sort of romance was off the table, I didn't allow myself to think of the possibilities. Changing the subject, I said, "Just come out with me. It will be loads of fun."

She gave me a look like she was actually considering it. "I had plans tonight, but since it's going to be loads of fun, I guess I could cancel." She got out of bed and walked to her closet. "You need to look hot tonight. Take off the damn tights. Time to actually show some bare skin."

I was happy that Kingsley had agreed to come tonight. I definitely needed a wing-woman and my guess was that she would make a perfect one.

She held out a super short black dress.

"You're joking, right? That's not my style at all." My head shook in disapproval.

Next, she grabbed a hot-pink mini skirt and held it out. Everything this girl owned was either hot pink, leopard print, or leather.

"I think I'll pass on that one, too."

She huffed. "Fine. Dress yourself, but remember that guys love to see skin." I considered Kingsley's advice. The thought of Samson thinking I looked good was tempting. I walked to my closet and began rifling through my clothing.

An hour later, I was dressed in black, high-waisted shorts, a Hall & Oates top that I had cut-up, and my combat boots. I even took Kingsley's advice and skipped the tights.

I looked over at Kingsley and my jaw dropped. "You're going to get us arrested."

She was dressed in a red leather mini dress and six-inch, black high-heeled booties. She looked like a prostitute. "I've always said that if you've got it, flaunt it. This body," she ran her hands up and down her waist, "belongs on a poster."

"I guess we don't ever need to work on your self-confidence," I said as I grabbed my clutch and we headed out the door.

Tonight, I was probably going to be bailing Kingsley out of jail, but I hoped I would at least get to enjoy some live music first.