In the Air (The City Book 1)

"Why won't you answer my calls?"

"Please don't ignore me, Samson."

"We need to talk."

"I'm sorry."

Those were just four of the texts Natalia had sent me in the span of two days. I faked my own sickness to avoid her and opted not go wherever I thought she would be. It was probably childish of me, but it wasn't just her reaction about Aubrey that set me off. She had assumed everything I had said to her was a lie. Since I'd been misjudged my entire life, the irritation ran deep. Every text Natalia sent, I ignored, until she sent one that couldn't go unanswered.

Natalia picked up on the first ring. "Samson, I've been trying to get in touch with you. Madame Dampier is freaking out, she–"

I cut Natalia off, needing to explain the thoughts that were racing through my mind. "I don't regret it," I simply stated.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Your last text message, asking if I regretted the time we've spent together. I don't regret it. Your reaction the other day pissed me off, but that doesn't mean I'd take everything back."

"Can we please talk about this in person? I'll come to you, wherever you are," Natalia pleaded.

"Just give me some time, Natalia. I'm calling you because I didn't want you to overanalyze my feelings anymore. I gotta go." I started to hang up, but heard her start to speak.

"I'm sorry, Samson. I really am."

"I'll be in class tomorrow." I hung up the phone and tossed it across the room. Five minutes later, I heard it vibrating again. Rolling out of bed, I picked it up from the ground and saw that Aubrey was calling. My anger grew the longer I looked at her face on the screen. I didn't want to talk to Aubrey. What else did we have to say to each other? My anger burst and I threw the phone even harder this time, hearing pieces of it break against the wall. I didn't care if it stopped working.

The blissful feeling I got from knowing I wouldn't be bothered by calls or texts only lasted for a few minutes. My mother tended to check in every few days. In the morning, I planned to pick up a new phone. If I had it my way, I would never own a cell phone again. It was nice to not be reached anytime someone wanted to talk to you. It felt liberating.

Myers had stopped in the room once in the past few days to change his clothes. He greeted me as if it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. I had no clue where he went every night, but the possibilities creeped me out. I once read an article about a teenager who had just moved into the dorms. His roommate seemed completely normal, offering to help the guy hang up his posters. Come to find out, the roommate was a total psychopath and ended up gutting him the very first night. I showed my mother the story, trying to convince her to let me move into my own place, but she wouldn't budge.

I could only order so much pizza and Chinese food before I felt like puking, so I decided to venture out in public. I chose to eat at Salumeria Rosi, thinking that it would be the safest place to go and not run into Natalia.

I was wrong.

"Samson, back so soon?" Cesar strolled over to me and shook my hand. "Your pretty girlfriend is already here. You should never make such a beautiful girl wait for you, my boy." He began to walk away, indicating for me to follow.

"Cesar!" I grabbed his arm. "Are you referring to the girl I was with the other day?"

Cesar's forehead creased, displaying deep wrinkles. "Your girlfriend, no?"

"No, she's not my girlfriend." I contemplated my next move and deciding it would be best to leave, I stepped backward, heading to the door. "I forgot something back at school, I need to go." Right before I ran out, I heard my name.

"Samson?"

I turned to see Natalia standing next to Cesar. They both wore the same puzzled expression.

"Hey, Natalia." I took a deep breath, trying to come up with an excuse as to why I was running out of there. I was just about to tell her the same story, until she started speaking.

"You're avoiding me. I came here thinking I might find you."

"I'm not avoiding you." I totally was. "I just ... I forgot something back at the dorm." Seriously, Samson? You couldn't come up with something better?

Cesar looked at Natalia and then me. Finally comprehending what was going on, he walked to the back of the restaurant, leaving us alone.

"Just admit it. I promise you won't croak from being honest." Her tone was cold, revealing just how upset she was. She was wearing thick-framed glasses, a tight Beatles shirt, and blue jeans that had holes in the knees. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and she was wearing the combat boots I saw her in often. I never imagined actually finding a girl who made combat boots attractive. I also never thought I would fall for someone new so quickly.

"I've been avoiding you, but not because I didn't want to see you. I've wanted to see your face every second of the day, but how you reacted to what I told you was pretty messed up."

Natalia's head bowed down, looking at the hardwood floors. She stayed that way for a few seconds, before lifting her face to look at mine. "I don't know what got into me. I know I shouldn't have reacted that way, I had no right to." Natalia's eyes darted around the restaurant.

I walked away from the door, closing in on the distance between us. "Did you really not believe a word I said to you in your dorm?" My voice remained low, not wanting everyone in the restaurant to hear our conversation.

"You were right. I've lived my entire life trying to make my mother happy, never really focusing on what I wanted." She frowned with sadness. "I know I need to put my own happiness first, but even that scares me."

"You didn't answer my question. Do you not believe what I told you?" I stood my ground even though all I wanted was to hold her.

"I'm trying."

Her words reverberated inside me. The same words I said to Aubrey a few days ago. Was there a way to succeed with love again? I wasn't sure. I didn't even know if I could hold onto it if I was given another chance.

I walked past Natalia, to an empty booth, and sat down. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. I heard Natalia take the seat across from me, but she didn't say a word. When I looked up, she was staring back at me.

"You're in a hard place," she said. "I didn't expect to have feelings for someone so quickly either. I know how you feel." She reached across the table and took my hand in hers.

"You don't know how I feel, Natalia," I stated. "You really don't. I want to move on so badly, but then I wonder if I'm making the right choice. Leaving the only girl I've ever loved for a stranger?" I knew the moment the words left my mouth, that I had said the wrong thing.

"This is why I never wanted you to tell me you had feelings for me." She paused, biting her bottom lip. "I would be the rebound girl, wouldn't I?"

"I didn't mean it–" I scratched the back of my head, trying to absorb my thoughts before speaking again. "I told you this before, but I'll say it again and I hope this time it sticks. You could never be anyone's rebound. I just ... " I took a deep breath. "I didn't anticipate my life going this way. It had always been planned out, up until the point that I moved here. New York was supposed to be my answer, Natalia."

We each stayed quiet for a few more moments, before Cesar walked up to the table and asked if we needed a drink. I ordered both of us a DiSarrono, not caring that it was still early in the day.

"I didn't want a drink," Natalia said.

"We could both use one," I responded.

"Is New York your answer, Samson?" Natalia looked at me expectantly. She wanted me to say yes.

My eyes peered into hers and I felt a familiar flip in my stomach. The feeling I got every time I looked at her. "I hope so."

With my answer, she gave a small smile.

"I know I made the right decision ending things with Aubrey. It was time. What I need you to understand is that she'll probably always be a part of my life in some way. I can't tell you if this," I pointed between us, "will work out, but I can tell you that I want it to."

"I'm ready to take a chance," Natalia said confidently.

"We could go back to my place and play Twister ... but I don't have the board."

My smile reflected hers. I was happy that my joke broke some of the tension. It was getting serious, and being with Natalia didn't feel like we were in a library, having to be quiet and courteous at all times. She was fun and silly, which I loved. Natalia swayed her neck back and forth.

"You waste no time, do you?" she asked, laughing lightly.

I responded with sincerity, "Why waste time when you know exactly what you want?"