I could tell she was looking for some sign that I couldn’t handle this. I could. If it was this or nothing, I could handle anything. I pulled her head to my shoulder and hugged her tight. “Okay, Kiera.” I love you. So much. Whatever you’re willing to give, I’ll take.
Pulling back, I playfully pushed her away from me and said, “That goes for you too, you know.” I pointed to my lips, then pointed to my crotch. “Don’t touch.” She rapped me on the chest again and I added with a laugh, “Unless you really, really want to…”
When she smacked me again, I pulled her in for a hug. Sharing this with her was amazing. Being with her was amazing. She was amazing. I would take a lifetime of pain if I knew I’d get moments like this. This made it all worth it.
Kiera was relaxed in my arms, accepting our connection. However strange it was, it worked for us. She jerked to alertness when the phone rang though. She looked up at the ceiling before dashing over to pick up the receiver, and I knew why. Denny. The cloud of potential pain and guilt literally hovering above our heads. We could only have this closeness and intimacy when he was asleep, or gone. I knew why it had to be that way, but still, it stung. As much as I loved and respected Denny, a part of me would always want what he had.
Kiera bent over the counter when she picked up the phone. Her ass on full display for me was too much. A small laugh escaped me as I thought about all the things I could do to her in that position. I knew I shouldn’t think those thoughts about her, since we were keeping this “innocent,” but she was perfection. Dirty thoughts were hard to keep out.
Straightening, Kiera spun around. She put a hand on her hip as she pouted. The expression did nothing to realign my indecent thoughts, but I made a swift halo over my head. I may think dirty things about you, but I won’t act on them. I’ll be as much of a gentleman as humanly possible.
Kiera smiled as she leaned back on the counter. “Hi, Anna.” I started preparing our coffees while Kiera spoke to her sister.
“Isn’t it a little early for phone calls?” Kiera said into the phone. She was silent while I poured some creamer into her cup, then she said, “No, I’m up.”
I stirred Kiera’s coffee while she laughed at something her sister said. “No, hot-bod is awake too.” I looked over in time to see Kiera cringe and look my way. Hot-bod? Really? Did she mean me? Raising an eyebrow, I mouthed the word as I pointed to myself. Rolling her eyes, Kiera nodded. I had to laugh at the nickname, and wondered who had come up with it first—Kiera or her sister?
My eyes glued on Kiera, I took a sip of coffee. A playful grin grew on her lips, and I wondered what she was thinking about. Nonchalantly, she told her sister, “We were screwing on the table, waiting for the coffee to brew.”
I nearly choked to death on my coffee as I spat it back into the cup. I could not believe she’d just said that. I was becoming a bad influence on her. Or a really, really good one, depending on how you looked at it. My dirty thoughts instantly returned, and Kiera turned her face away from my grin; her cheeks were flushed.
“Geez, Anna, I’m just joking. I would never touch him like that. You should hear about all the girls he’s been with. Ugh, he’s disgusting…and Denny is asleep upstairs, you know.”
She looked up at the ceiling, up to Denny, and my eyes drifted to the floor. He’s disgusting. So…that was what she really thought of me? My lifestyle repulsed her. I repulsed her. On some level, I was dirty and disgusting to her. I knew she had to think that. I was, after all, completely unworthy of her. She should run back to Denny and never give me the time of day again. That would be the smart thing for her to do.
Setting down my coffee, I started to leave, but Kiera reached out and grabbed my arm. Feeling sad and defeated, I looked her way. You should just let me go. Staring intently into my eyes, she said into the phone, “Everything is fine.” I knew by her tone she wasn’t just answering some random question her sister had asked, she was letting me know that she hadn’t meant what she’d said.
She pulled my arm around her waist, and I needed her too much to resist her. Even if she thought I was a hideous beast, it didn’t change the fact that I needed the connection I felt when I was with her.
Relaxing, I smiled and held her tight against me as we both leaned against the counter. A bright red stain highlighted her cheeks while she stared at me. I wanted to know why, but didn’t ask her since she was on the phone. I’d like to think that she’d thought something about me though, something good.
I tried not to listen as Kiera finished up her phone call, but from what I did catch, the sisters were making plans to meet up. And Kiera wasn’t entirely thrilled about it. She cursed when she finally hung up the phone.
When she asked me not to share her swear with Griffin, I shrugged. I never actually told Griffin things about Kiera anyway. “What’s wrong?” I asked, smiling.
In a forlorn voice, she told me, “My sister. She wants to visit.”
I scrunched my brows. I’d pieced that together, but not the reason for her reluctance. “Okay…and, you don’t like her?”
Rubbing my arms, she shook her head. “No, no I do. I love her, dearly, but…”
She averted her eyes and I tried to regain contact with her. “But what?”
With a defeated expression, she looked at me again. “You’re kind of man-flavored candy to my sister.”
I laughed. Guess her sister was interested. And by Kiera’s description, her sister was far more aggressive than she was. Well, it didn’t matter much to me. Kiera was the only woman around in my eyes. “Ahhh…so I’m pretty much going to be attacked, right?” I laughed again, picturing having to keep Kiera’s sister at bay. This would be interesting.
Kiera wasn’t as amused as I was. “It’s not funny, Kellan.”
I gave her a warm smile. “It kind of is, Kiera.” The sister I wanted couldn’t give all of herself to me, but the one I wasn’t interested in was already willing to rip her panties off. I found that highly amusing, in a twisted way.
Kiera seemed to sadden more and more. Even though she looked away, I saw tears forming in her eyes. I still had no idea why she was so upset. What did it matter if her sister came out here? What did it matter if she was all over me? My heart was Kiera’s alone. Fully and completely.
Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, I murmured, “Hey…” Gently grabbing her chin, I made her look at me. “What do you want me to do?” I’ll do whatever you want. Just ask.
She looked like she was fighting with herself, wrestling with whether or not to be honest with me. I wanted her to. I wanted to understand the problem here. I couldn’t do the right thing in her eyes if I didn’t know what it was. “I want you to not ‘do’ her. I don’t want you to even touch her.”
She glared at me, and I began to understand. She was jealous. She thought I’d sleep with her sister, since I couldn’t sleep with her. As if I would want a pale imitation of the real thing. As if I could stomach being with anyone else, when Kiera was all that existed to me. I wasn’t sure how long I could go without sex…but I knew how long I could go without Kiera. And it wasn’t very long. I wasn’t going to do anything that might push her away. Touching her sister…wasn’t even a thought in my brain.
“Okay, Kiera,” I said, brushing her cheek.
Not understanding the depth of my agreement, her eyes filled with tears. “Promise me, Kellan.”
I gave her as reassuring a smile as I could. “I promise, Kiera. I won’t sleep with her, okay?” You’re the only one I want. It took her a moment, but she finally nodded and let me pull her in for a hug.
You’re the only one I’ll ever want.