“Alex, stop making me sound like a hooker and be reasonable. Jess deserves to be treated better than these passive, self-indulgent moments you give him.”
“Just watch the game, Sadie.”
And let me have this little moment, I wanted to scream at her. And I wasn’t self-indulgent. Everything I did was for his own good. I wish Sadie would keep her perky nose out of his life.
Three months ago, something had changed Sadie’s view of my situation with Jess. It all started when she took him to a social function with the campus young Democrats. She needed a last minute date and Jess agreed to go with her.
The next day, neither Jess nor Sadie bothered to divulge the details, but I knew something had changed. I felt it every time they crossed paths in a room; not flirty but something else that just failed to make sense. Sadie always liked Jess. After the night of the party, she shifted into full-fledged defense mode, leaving me perplexed and just plain confused as hell. I questioned Jess a few times and never got an answer.
“Are you listening to me? If you just tell him everything, you could make this work.”
I ignored her and looked at the sand. I was tired of hearing Sadie so I blocked out her voice. I just wanted to listen to Flo Rida and not think about anything, but my current view of the volleyball court.
Jess glanced over at me again. My skin felt hot as he watched me, like I was the only person here and not surrounded by thousands of other spring breakers. He watched me and my breath caught in my throat. My whole body burned and it wasn’t from the sun. Jess winked again and went back to the game.
Sadie was completely right. The pull between us was different this week. Maybe it was the fact Jess and I never had been somewhere on spring break together. Maybe it was the fact graduation loomed just a few weeks away. Maybe it was because I knew how things would change once he went back to Arlis for good.
Over the last couple of years, Jess didn’t get much of the full college experience. This trip to Padre was unusual for him. He spent all his free time, trying to learn everything he could from Frank. We all knew the days with his uncle were limited, and Jess would soon be in control of Sprayberry.
I would never forget the day Jess received the news that he would truly graduate. His face had frozen in this momentary pause of disbelief and then he went full on crazy. Jess scooped me up like a rag doll, shaking my body around while I laughed. The more I laughed, the more he laughed in gasps of insanity. The race was over. He won. Jess accomplished the impossible. He had worked at Sprayberry and would still graduate.
Actually, his diploma resulted from the redemption promise I made to him. I swore come hell or high water, I would pull us both across that finish line, even if that meant long stretches of no sleep. My own double major had consumed all my daylight hours. More often than not, Jess had rolled into town late in the evenings, right before a test or major homework assignment. We had spent night after night, cramming and half sleeping on the floor of my apartment. I didn’t care. Every moment was worth seeing the smile on his face.
Jess received his graduation news and we had celebrated. Mine came and I had lacked the guts to tell him. A week before spring break, I received my plans for the future. Only Sadie knew the truth, which she wanted to discuss over and over again on this trip. Avoidance. I liked to pretend I was good at it; except keeping this news from Jess, hurt like salt on wound. The achy feeling of dread was always there even as I watched him play volleyball.
Jess took his position, wiping sand off his forearms. He queued up the final serve, allowing me a perfect view of the blue trunks, hugging every curve of his ass. The white ball flew over the net, continuing in a volley back and forth between the teams. It floated much like my relationship with Jess; an unspoken bliss destined to crash after years of avoidance.
I had accepted the fact I liked this connected to him. I liked the way he looked at me from across a room. I liked the flirty way we fought with each other. I liked the way he made my cheeks burn red with just a wink from his blue eyes. I liked how our thoughts passed between us without a single spoken word. I liked his sweet face. I liked the way he kissed. I liked the way I still knew how it felt even though it happened years ago.
I took my sunglasses off and rubbed my eyes. All of these feelings still lived in the shadows of his family and my very existence. However, the news I got a week ago, would finally send me in a different direction. For the first time since I was eight, I would be financially free of the Masons and I had no idea how to tell Jess.
A gasp came from the crowd in our section. The boys failed to score, giving the other team another chance to serve. Sadie lifted that annoying hat, letting the sun reflect off her curls like shiny gold. She tucked the stray pieces back under before settling into her serious pose. She really was classic beautiful; flawless peach skin without a single spot. Her life would be exactly the way she chose it to be, with every twist and turn just part of a carefully constructed plan. Her first stop after graduation was Chicago; the beginning of Sadence McAllister's world domination.
“Hey Sadie, promise me something?”
“Sweetie, that depends. I am not making a promise without the details.”
“You are going to one movie before we graduate. Just one for all those sleepy-ass lectors you made me sit through to better myself as a woman. You are going to one real movie.”
“I can agree to it, but I have standards. The film can’t be anything related to superheroes. And I detest violence and those disgusting, strange horror movies you adore.”
“Whatever. I pick the movie and I will let you sneak in sanitary wipes for the seats. Deal?”
“Fine.”
The people around us cheered, pulling my attention back to the game. The boys won. Jess and his old fraternity brothers would play in the finals tomorrow. He sauntered up in our direction, obviously happy with himself. His white t-shirt stayed draped over one shoulder, leaving his bare chest exposed with spatters of sand and sweat.
“What'd ya’ll think? Good game?”
“It’s settled. The voice is definitely McConaughey.” Sadie lowered her glasses as she watched him.
“What's she talkin’ ‘bout?”
“I have no idea.” I wanted to kick Sadie, but Jess stood right in front of me, bumping the front of his legs against mine. “You're getting sand on me.”
As I dusted off my knees, he reached down and stole my water bottle. “We just made the finals. How ‘bout a little congratulations?” Taking the sweat-soaked, baseball cap off his head, Jess ground the canvas right into my clean hair.
“I hate you.” I yanked it off, throwing the hat back at him.
“I know.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the seat. “Come on. Seth wants to go over to the concert stage.”
“Who’s playing?”
“Does it matter?”
“Gross.” Sadie’s face ripped into a horrified pout. “I don’t want to be in the middle of all those nasty, sweaty people touching each other.”
That was enough for me to agree. My dear old roommate needed to have fun for a change. “Get up, Sadie. It’s time to party.” I yanked her out of the chair and threw that ridiculous hat right back in the seat.
“No,” she protested as I pulled her along beside me.
The four of us trailed through the crowd to get closer to the area with the band. I felt like I was trapped in a Kenny Chesney video. Beer splashed down like a rain shower, leaving sticky traces across my shoulder. Sadie squealed.