“Skeeter really did get Marla to climb on top of him at The Bar. Ernie was there too. He said it was nasty watching the two of them go at.”
“Gross,” I rolled my eyes. The Bar never got a real name even after Ernie added the line dancing room. It was more a country club these days but everyone still called it The Bar.
I gazed into the cloudless sky, listening to the sounds of the meadow. Sometimes it was nice to be out here. I would miss this part of Sprayberry. It was a strange thought, considering the amount of energy I’d spent thinking about how to get my father and myself off the ranch.
“Al…what are you thinkin’ ‘bout?”
“Nothing,” I said, leaning up on my elbow to look at him.
“I don’t really believe that.”
“I was just thinking this is our last summer here, and it’s almost over.”
“I know.” He turned around, his eyes looking troubled. “You wanna leave so bad it worries me sometimes that maybe when we get there, you’ll just…I don’t know.”
I knew our lives would not be the same once we left Sprayberry. I think he felt it too. The last couple of weeks had been different with Jess. He was clingy and often serious.
“You’re gonna be so busy, you won’t notice that I’m not with you all the time.”
“I doubt that,” he muttered.
“You don’t know that. It’s a big campus.”
“I don’t care,” he frowned, making his sweet face look serious. “I’m gonna need to see you every day.”
“You act like I’ll be in another state. It’s just Austin. Everything will be fine.”
“I know,” he said, not looking any calmer. “I’m just sayin’ that I don’t want things bein’ different with us.”
“We’re going to be fine. It’s college, which is better than this rat hole. We can meet some new people who are not psychotic for a change. Leaving Arlis will be good for us. We need to go other places.”
“Do you still think about goin’ to Paris?” It always sounded funny coming from his lips, like those picante sauce commercials.
“Sometimes.”
“You’ll go one day even if I have to take you there myself.”
“Driving me to Paris, Texas doesn’t count,” I rolled my eyes, smiling at him.
“I’m serious though. You’ll go there one day.”
“I hope so,” I muttered.
“I’ll go with you.”
I doubt it, I thought but smiled at him anyway. He’s too tied to Sprayberry for that kind of thing.
Flicking the rod, he cast toward the middle of the pond. Jess settled in, watching the line. I rolled to my back and pulled the straw hat over my face to block the glaring sun. Sometimes it felt like the ranch wrapped around us like an atomic force field from the rest of the world. It would be different in Austin and I would miss this time with Jess. I lied to him earlier. Our lives would not be the same; it wasn’t possible.
All of us were moving on after high school one way or another. Natalie was leaving at the end of summer for Tulane. Gentry had left the week following graduation and joined the Marines. After boot camp, they were sending him someplace in Afghanistan. It was a somber thought that left a small ache inside my chest at the prospect of his dangerous future.
Gentry and I had dated for the better part of my junior year. He was perfect in every way but one. My body felt empty when he kissed me. It was good enough, but I knew it should be different.
I watched other people with their tongues crammed down each other’s throats, forgetting every person in the room. The night Gentry had tried to unbutton my shirt, I thought about my calculus quiz the next day. He was sweet and caring but something about our relationship was just off. After a long talk on my front porch, we had parted ways with the promise to stay friends. Arlis was too small of a place to stack up enemies and I was already knee deep in bodies.
After the fight, the rumors eventually died down in the hallways and I was officially free of Ashley. I knew it resulted from the literal public freeze-out initiated by Jess. He made it clear to the entire school what happened when you crossed a Mason. Just like the adults in this town, they scavenged to stay on the correct side of the fence to prevent social suicide.
The rest of high school was relatively nice until it came time to figure out where I should go to college. The big decision for my future turned into a month-long battle between me, my father, Jess, and the Masons. I was accepted into the honors program as the University of Texas in Austin. Jess pulled off some form of a miracle and got admitted too. I received a small, partial scholarship, but it wasn’t even close to the dollar figured for living expenses and school.
After some thought, I applied to a community college that was driving distance from Arlis. Everything seemed to fall in place. I would live at home and commute to classes while keeping a few shifts at Jeeter’s. Everyone else thought I was crazy. So they fixed it.
According to my father, the Masons made a generous offer I couldn’t refuse. The family would pay for everything not covered by my scholarship. They insisted I would have a comfortable life in Austin only to worry about making good grades. I told my father, there’s no way in hell I’m letting the Masons pay for college.
The debate rolled on for weeks. Everyone had an opinion. My father said it was the best thing for my future. Dr. and Mrs. Mason said I owed it to my place as valedictorian to attend a school like the University of Texas. Jess said that I was going to Austin with him and there would be no discussion.
One afternoon, I drove the four-wheeler out to the old burned up stump. It was Jess's thinking spot, and I needed some serious space to unfold my torment. I sat there for hours. Sometimes I screamed, knowing only the birds and the bugs could hear me. I knew the answer the moment it was suggested, but I needed time to process. I returned to Mason Manor and walked through the door to find Jess and his parents eating dinner. I gritted my jaw with a fake smile and said, thank you for sending me to Austin.
I went home and added the nasty entry to that wretched Mason List. Just like everything in my life, I took ten steps back just to go forward with my future. I needed the education to receive a degree that would garner a job, to earn a living, and the means to return everything to this family. The thought still haunted me even months later.
Hearing a splash from the pond, I removed the straw hat and rolled over on my side, propping my head up on my elbow. I watched Jess reel the line to shore. He tugged it, making the muscles in his arms tighten. Jess had caught two carp earlier in the afternoon only to let them go. We rarely kept the fish. Occasionally, I brought a few back for my father and Caroline. She could make just about anything taste good battered and deep fried.
My instincts had been correct. A few months ago, Caroline finally convinced my father to stop by for one of her southern fried, double heart attack dinners. Love at first bite, I teased him when he came home with a dopey smile. For the first time since my mother, he seemed happy. Everything got brighter in the Tanner house with Caroline in his life. It made leaving him at the end of summer, a little easier.
Jess tossed the lure back out to the murky water. Through the white fitted t-shirt, his body moved with the throw back motion. His long fingers settled the rod in place. Jess rested a dark elbow on his propped up knee. The faded jeans stretched tight across his thigh.