Leaving Arlis. It wasn't the first time I traveled outside the city limits since we arrived in the old Bronco. I did my fair share of trips and vacations, courtesy of the Masons. Today was different. I was finally leaving, for good.
I filled my car full of boxes for the drive to Austin. I finally had four wheels of my own. The ten-year old Ford Escape was a gift from my father and the only expense covered by a Tanner. I dubbed the old car El Chigger since it was a mini red-hooptie the size of an insect. The passenger door was just a shade off from the body and the windows refused to move without a swift punch to get the little motor running. I knew it had problems, but at least it had a working CD player.
As for Jess, he had left yesterday for early move-in because of his fraternity. I looked at the calendar this morning and noted the date. Six weeks and two days since he kissed me. Six weeks and two days since his hands touched my body.
We never talked about it after that day on the meadow. It was awkward at first, and then it was like it never happened at all. Sometimes I’m not sure it actually did, except when he looked at me and his eyes got a little dark on the edges. I knew Jess was thinking about us again, which made by body remember what it felt like to be kissed my best friend. I tried to push those thoughts away, but lips that tasted as good as his were hard to forget.
I knew what needed to happen so I counted down the days until I moved to Austin. I silently said goodbye to Sprayberry last night. I hoped one day, my father could do the same too.
As thoughts of the past plagued me on the drive, an old image of my mother flashed before my eyes. She stayed tucked out of reach on most days. As the years past, I forgot the clarity of her face or the exact floral scent of her perfume. It hurt sometimes when I realized I would never really know the person I had called mother. I had been a child and only experienced the child like aspects of our relationship.
As the last few weeks haunted me, I felt more like an adult with adult decisions. I realized what I never really had in my life. I wondered what she would have thought of Jess. What she would have said about my friendship with him? Would she even approve of my choice of college and the Masons’ involvement? I shrugged off the thoughts. It was useless to scrutinize a hypothetical, alternate world considering it was her illness and death that brought all of us together. Without those problems, the Masons would have never been forced into my life. The family and Jess only existed because of her cancer.
I navigated El Chigger through the dorm parking lot, stopping in the first space I found in the back. I felt the nervous butterflies in my stomach. Go big or go home, and I was not returning to Arlis.
My dad smiled through the glass waiting for me to get out. I felt a little sad knowing he would be all alone in the farmhouse. I'm sure it was only a matter of time before the serious relationship with Caroline became permanent. We had a few talks on my feelings toward the idea. I liked her but more than anything, I just wanted my father to be happy.
Gathering a few items, we made the first trip to the dorm room. I had little knowledge of my roommate except that her name was Sadie. The name alone divulged nothing into the character of the person who would share a space smaller than Mrs. Mason’s closet. After checking in with the RA, I found our room vacant, but full to the brim on the side next to the window.
The bed was covered with a puffy, white-eyelet bedspread and a pile of silver pillows in different shapes. The desk was full of photos and trinkets, indicating someone who came from a past full of exciting moments and trendy friends. I wondered why she would take pot luck for a roommate. My situation was pretty obvious, but the story sitting on the desk said something else about this Sadie.
My father and Caroline carried my simple belongings up from the car while I unpacked. With every item I shoved into my closet, I glanced over at the identical door. Curiosity got the best of me. I pulled the adjacent handle and peered inside her closet.
The contents were a little intriguing. Half the closet contained an assortment of suits that resurrected the ghost of the original Jackie O. The rest was rows and rows of the same pony embossed shirt, just in different colors. I wrinkled up my nose with confusion. Living with this Sadie would be interesting.
The door opened while I slammed the closet shut. It was just my father and Caroline with the last load. My father appeared a little lost with no more boxes to tote upstairs. It was that time. We made the last decent down to the parking lot for our official goodbye. I watched his face shift between emotions.
“Pumpkin, I guess this is it.” The tears glistened in the corners but stayed in place next to the wrinkles around his eyes. I never thought much about my father’s age. Today, he seemed old with tuffs of gray over his ears.
“Bye, Dad.” I put my arms around him for a hug. His familiar scent sparked my nose; a faint mechanical smell that soaked into all his clothes worn to the hardware store.
“I’ll be ok,” I said, quietly.
My throat tightened and burned. I clenched my teeth down on my lip to keep my composure. We would be apart for the first time in eighteen years. I truly loved my father. Tragedy has a way of bonding people different than a traditional relationship. My father and I were like Velcro in some ways; polar opposites stuck together, holding down the fort, even during those times our personalities clashed like oil and water. I released my grasp and backed away.
“Now, don’t stay out too late and don’t drive too fast. I don’t want to get a phone call saying you’ve been in an accident.”
“I won’t Dad. I promise,” I nodded, thinking of a night long ago in a Jeep that never came to his knowledge.
“And don’t drink and drive. No, just don’t drink period,” he babbled, while his boots shifted on the sidewalk in a nervous side step.
“I promise.” I glanced over at Caroline, looking for a little help.
“I think it’s time to let her go, Henry,” she smiled, putting an arm around his back. His fingers reached down to grab her hand. Just watching the jesters eased my sadness a little. I wrapped them both in one last hug then watched the truck drive away. Back in the dorm, I walked through the wooden door to my new home. This time I had company.
“Alex?” A shorter girl with long, blond hair greeted me. She had a grin as big as Julia Roberts and a set of emerald green eyes.
“Yeah, Alex Tanner. You’re Sadie, right?” She wasn’t at all what I had expected. Living in the honor’s dorm, I had a mental perception of a certain type of student that occupied the halls but this Sadie fit none of those.
“The one and only. Hope you don’t mind, but I picked the bed by the window. I got here early from Richmond, the one in Virginia.” The smile appeared to be stuck permanent on her face.
“No, that’s fine. I’m not very picky,” I said back with a shrug. It at least explained the whole random girl room assignment choice. No person in their right mind left that side of the country for Texas.
“Why did you come to school in Austin?”
“I’m a legacy on my mother’s side. She grew up in Dallas.”
“I was from there, once.”
I watched her fingers unhook the clasp on the ankle of her dress shoes that coordinated with the sundress; not the strapless type worn to the lake, but the beautiful, flowy kind, meant for a garden party. She exchanged the platform heals for a matching pair of flats.
“And now?” She looked up in interest.
“Oh, I’m from Arlis. It’s outside of Fort Worth, sort of.”
Sadie put the shoes away in a neat row then turned her full attention to me. In the glow of the sun, I realize her eyes were not green, but a shade of hazel that could change with every outfit or the tone of her mood.
“I guess we are both new to Austin. It’s a good school though. Do you have a major yet?”