I wasn't oblivious to the fact Jess was an attractive guy. He was probably the cutest guy in our high school. Most of the time, I just didn't give it a second thought because it wasn't relevant to our friendship. Despite being the object of every Arlis girl's fantasy, he’d never dated anyone after Ashley. I teased him about a few of them, but Jess said he wouldn’t float that crazy creek again until he was far out of Palo Pinto County.
Once we got to Austin, it wouldn't take long for that grin and baby blues to snag a new girl. That’s when things would get different between us. I would focus on my career goals and he would find other interesting people to fill his time.
Sitting up, I grabbed another cold one from the cooler. It was just Dr Pepper and A&W root beer today. After a couple of swigs of DP, I eyed the large bag of Skittles propped up against the side. I swear Jess bought a sack big enough for an industrial-sized candy bucket that would feed all the trick-or-treaters in a tricity area.
My lips pursed in contemplation and I shot Jess a glance out the corner of my eye. Boredom brought out the pestery side of me I tipped the red bag and got a big handful. With a quick toss forward, multi-colored splatters filled the pond with small ripples. I giggled before he even had time to react. I knew it would piss him off, which was the whole point.
“Alex, stop that!”
He reached over to take away the bag just as I fired off another fistful. Jess tossed the rod to the ground. I pulled my elbow sharp to the right to keep the candy out of his reach. Before I knew it, my arm knocked his phone off the tackle box into the depths of the murky pond water. The small, black square made a solid plop then disappeared from sight.
Oh, shit! I was dead.
With the bag still clenched in my hand, I scampered to my feet and sprinted out in the meadow. The soles of my gray shoes pounded in no particular direction through the grass. I had a head start but his long arm circled around my waist, taking me down in a rolling tackle.
A rainbow of candy rained down from the sky, pelting my face. As Jess pinned me down on my back, I felt the meadow grass poking through my shirt. I struggled to get free but his hands held my arms down on each side of my head. His legs trapped my lower torso to the ground.
Jess smirked at me, “Why do you always have to be such a pain in my ass?”
“Let me go!”
“If you’re so bored, I should haul you right back over there and toss you in the pond. Let you dig ‘till you find my phone.”
“You wouldn't!” I spat, feeling a little panicked. He would do something that crazy, thinking it was so damn funny. I tried to pull a leg free only to have it pinned down by his thigh. I looked back up and tried to reason. “Besides, it’s not like it’s still gonna work.”
“I might do it anyway, just to watch you in that nasty water,” he smiled an evil grin, his eyebrows arched over his eyes.
I stopped struggling since it was pointless to fight one of his vice grips. Instead, I mustered up a pathetic, sad look to plead for some mercy.
“Jess, I'm really sorry. It was an accident.”
“An accident?” He leaned a little closer with his ornery smile. Jess was enjoying the fact he could still torment me.
“Yes, please…I’m sorry.”
Jess leaned a little closer, then in the space of a nanosecond, ten years of friendship changed forever. The grin disappeared as I felt his pink lips. They pressed softly against mine. As quickly as they touched, he pulled back.
I could barely breathe. Jess remained still; his face displayed a hesitant, uncertain look. His black hair fell slightly over one eye but he didn’t move to brush it away. I knew he was waiting for my reaction to this sudden event that petrified us both.
My mind screamed at my lips to say something. I needed to stop this before it became something it could never be for us. Yet, I froze. My arms didn’t push back. My mind didn’t stop the thoughts that tumbled from a dark, hidden place. No, instead I stayed completely still as my non-reaction gave Jess the answer to his nervous, unspoken question.
Slowly he leaned down, never taking his blue eyes off mine. His bottom lip touched first and my eyes closed. Jess kissed me slowly. His lips were soft and warm and tasted sweet. I stopped breathing all together as he pushed my mouth open with his tongue. I forgot I was in the meadow. I forgot the sun burned down from the sky.
His kisses trailed over my cheek and down my throat. The soft lips touched my bare skin in the neckline of my tank top. My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to catch my breath. Leaning up, Jess looked at me again. The blue eyes seemed darker and a little nervous. He didn’t get that way very often. He ran his hand over my stomach and hesitated before he touched my breast. My cheeks were already red, or I would have turned deep crimson. Jess leaned in, kissing me softly before slipping his tongue back in my mouth.
He moved his hand under my gray tank top and across my bare stomach. I got all warm and tingly as his fingers skimmed the lace trim of my bra. I wanted him to take it off. I wanted his mouth to kiss me there too. My heart beat under the palm of his hand as he touched me through the fabric. His hand slipped around to my back and fumbled with the clasp.
Jess will see me naked. The thought flashed from somewhere in my subconscious. What am I doing! The remnants of sanity pulled themselves out of the ditch. I needed to stop this. My palms touched each side of his cheeks, pulling his face from my body.
“We really can't do this,” I whispered, our faces only an inch apart.
“It's ok.” His voice was a little deeper than usual. “We don't have to do anythin’ right now. I don't want to have sex with you. No…I mean I do want to have sex, but that's not what I'm tryin’ to do right now. Shit, I’m screwin’ this all up.”
“No, it’s not that…it’s just… we can’t do this…this…you and me.”
“What are you sayin’, Al?”
I still had my hands on his cheeks as I stared into his sweet face. Leaning forward, his lips brushed mine again. He pulled back just enough to look in my eyes.
“We have to talk, Jess.”
“I don’t wanna talk.” He kissed me harder that time, and I let him. I let myself feel his lips again for just a few minutes then I pulled his face back up. His eyes were a deep, dark blue as he gazed back at me. Jess rolled off of me and stretched out on the meadow grass. Reaching over, he grabbed my hand, playing with my fingers. I couldn’t think straight. The intensity of his last kiss had left me breathless.
“Al, I know this is….I know it’s complicated.”
“It’s more than complicated. I grew up here…and your family…this can’t happen between us. It’s…me. You…you don’t even know what you’re doing.”
He let out a deep breath. “That’s not true. I’ve felt this way for a while.”
“You've felt this way for a while? How long?”
“I don't know. Maybe since we were fourteen.”
Fourteen? My heart might have actually skipped a beat. This wasn’t good.
“I think that’s ‘bout the time I realized you had boobs.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m serious. And to be honest, it started before then. I just didn’t understand what I felt for you.”
“But you dated Ashley…you had sex with Ashley?”
Jess rubbed his forehead, which I knew meant he was stressed. “You want the truth? I dated Ashley as more of a distraction. I didn’t know what to do with how I felt ‘bout you. I was a stupid kid. It’s not like I could talk to you. I wanted to tell you but honestly, I didn’t know how to even bring it up. And with Gentry, I knew you’d never do anythin’ with him. It killed me to see you together, but I knew it wouldn’t last. So I waited.”
“Waited for what exactly? For some moment to just go for it and catch me off guard?” My thoughts were jumbled. My world just changed forever with him and I couldn’t even think straight. My lips still burned from kissing him, from kissing Jess.
He placed my hand on his chest, right over his heart. It was beating fast under his shirt. “I’m scared too, Al.”