I added as much venom as I could into my unspoken words but the erratic beat of my heart betrayed me. It was the first time I hated the way he made my body react. Even as he stood on the other side of the door, my anger ebbed away, hoping for the warm and solid embrace of Marren’s arms.
My warning must have worked because a shuffling’s quiet whisper faded in the distance. I hated myself for making him heed my warning.
That didn’t mean I didn’t want to listen to your explanation for keeping me prisoner! It was a long shot, but I figured, why not test the distance our little gift is limited by?
The door clicked and opened a crack, assuming he paused long enough to see if something would fly through the air and hit him. When nothing happened, he opened the door the rest of the way and step through. He closed it then locked my eyes into his.
I forced myself to hold back. It took all my will to command my body to stay put and not run into the arms that melted away all the cares of the world as soon as they touched my skin. I needed him to understand I was serious, hurt, and a little betrayed by his insistent need to keep secrets from me and drop them in my lap on a whim.
And then, it only took one glance from his eyes. Black as onyx, absorbing all light, and full of intense sadness. He didn’t need to say it for me to see it in his eyes. His brows arched a little higher and pinched together, his mouth pulled down at the corners, even his shoulders seemed somewhat slumped. Yet, it still shocked and amazed me. Though a very proud man, he wasn’t too proud to hide his remorse—even from me.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything that would let him experience the heat of my anger. But the hundreds of words that swam around in my head shouting so loud they nearly drowned out the sounds of the world around me, had fallen mute and still—leaving a silence so thick in the air, a faint hum played in the distance. I wasn’t sure what the sound was, but at that point, everything around me remained quiet.
“What happened?” His voice didn’t come out frustrated, but resigned. Almost as though he gave up whatever struggle he intended to keep from me, deciding surrendering was better. His eyes fell along the destruction that reduced the room to shreds and hints of what it once was. A room full of rubble.
I had to say something instead of staring at him, drained and lost. My mouth was dry, and my throat felt scratchy. I tried my best to swallow and form the words as calm as possible. “I was angry that brute of a werewolf forced me to stay in here.”
“By my orders,” he said with patience, almost as if he was too drained to be upset.
“About that,” I sat forward on my knees. It felt uncomfortable, like a small grapefruit sat stuck inside my stomach, and for a brief moment, I wondered how that could be. I sat back up and resumed my previous position. “Care to tell me what that is about?”
He sighed, long and heavy. “Does it matter? You’re so stubborn, you’ll just run head first into something so far over your head…you’d get yourself killed before you realized how far over your head you were.”
He maintained the same calm, resigned tone that matched his face, and I realized he wasn’t sorry for his actions but surrendering to mine.
“It does matter. Why do you insist on keeping secrets from me? You keep me hidden under this apparent protection knowing full and well I can’t stand to be kept within four walls and having just escaped a very narrow space…” I paused to force back the tears nipping my eyes and caused my throat to swell. “I can’t help but wonder if you worried at all when I was in that Tombcell. You should have been the one to rescue me, not your friends. You, Marren!”
“I—couldn’t,” he said, barely above a whisper.
“Right, because the mere sight of me or touch from me is unbearable!” The last word came out muffled in a sob. I stood up and walked to the window. I forced myself to take a deep breath. “Tell me something, and for once be honest with me. If I’m your heart song, why do you act like you regret the day I came into your life? Why don’t you want me anymore? Why did you keep our child from me?”
I glanced over my shoulder, not even bothering to hide the tears flowing down my cheeks in a steady stream. My heart broke, and if he really was my heart song, he experienced it too. It made no difference in hiding tears when he experienced my pain. He stared at a spot on the floor, with most of his weight on one leg. His other slightly bent at the knee. His hair dangled in front of his face, shadowing it from the light in the room.
When he didn’t answer I added, “Why do you only pretend to love me?”
His eyes shot straight to me, quicker than an arrow and sharper. I had hurt him now. That much evidenced by my own heart with how it shrunk back with the painful pierce. “You think I don’t truly love you? You don’t know me as well as I thought.”
“Nor do you know me, keeping me here in this room, not letting me see you or be around you and barely acting like you even cared I almost died. But then, was that what you hoped? So you didn’t make your people suffer?”