Chapter Forty
Anything that was delicate had a chance of breaking.
Severine kept her mind ready for the time when she and Thayer would break apart.
Only two weeks had passed since Tennessee. It wasn’t long at all. Her mind raced forward for the next time they could see each other, but time dragged by like someone stuck in quicksand. There wasn’t enough time in the day—not enough moments with Thayer to keep Severine sated.
“You’ve spaced on me again.”
Severine jerked her head in Anne’s direction. “Huh?”
Anne exhaled dramatically and dully glanced at Severine. “If you’re gonna make me take a walk with you, at least listen to me. Idiot.”
“I’m listening now!”
Anne tucked a short piece of her coal black hair behind her ear. “Barely. What’s going on with you lately?”
Severine kept her face neutral as she glimpsed at Anne curiously. Her friend could see too much. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’m saying you just seem different.”
“I changed face powders?” Severine provided. She’d say anything to keep them off course from what Anne really wanted to talk about. Anything but that. “I think this shade gives me a natural healthy glow,” she rushed on, “compared to blending in with walls. I can’t wait-”
“I’m not talking about the weather,” Anne impatiently huffed. Her breath came out and appeared in the cold air. “Or your makeup products. Your attitude is different.”
There was no way to know what her face looked like or what her energy projected. This had been the most carefree Severine had felt in months. Capturing her feelings so they wouldn’t show made her heart speed up in protest. “I- I’m just happy,” Severine stuttered out.
Anne turned her shoulder to stare directly at Severine. Her eyebrows slanted down in disbelief. “Really happy?”
“Yeah.”
“For yourself?”
“Why are you asking me so many questions?”
Anne shrugged and kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. “I talked to Lily today.”
“Are you kidding me?” Severine threw her hands up in the air before placing them on her waist. “She can’t keep a secret!”
“You might as well have called the local newspaper,” Anne calmly said.
“I know she gets diarrhea of the mouth sometimes, but I didn’t think she’d flap her jaw over this. Did you get her drunk or something?”
“Nope. We were at the library studying.”
Severine looked at her doubtfully.
“Seriously.” Anne held her pinky out and smirked deviously. “You want me to pinky swear? I promise we started out studying, and then the last hour we talked about you.” Anne’s blunt honesty sometimes came in handy. That time was now.
Severine stopped on the sidewalk and tucked her scarf more securely around her neck. “Anything else?”
“Relax. She didn’t have a microphone held to her mouth. No one else heard her.”
“I doubt that. I know when she really gets into a story, she talks like she’s in a stadium.” Severine started walking again. Anne’s short little legs caught up with Severine’s steps quickly.
“Can I tell you what I think?” Anne asked.
“No.”
“Well, I’m going to anyway. Then I’ll leave you alone.”
Severine groaned. “Don’t.”
“Sorry. I’m going to.” The two walked in silence before Anne finally spoke her thoughts. “I don’t know if you two together is messed up. Is it awkward? I’d say, probably.”
Severine wasn’t a crier, but Anne nailed her thoughts on the head. It felt good to have some of her thoughts validated. “But if Thayer knows your true self, and if bullshit comes your way and he still wants to be there, then it’s something to really think about. If he wants to invest time with you, to see inside your soul, then I say hold him tight. I can’t say I blame you for keeping this a secret. I think I’d do the same.”
Severine’s smile quivered as she bumped shoulders with Anne. Her words were too accurate. “That was a really thoughtful speech.”
Anne snorted, “Don’t get used to it. That about took it out of me.”
“Thanks.”
“Just don’t let it go to hell, or I might snatch him up.”
Severine laughed while Anne barely cracked a grin. “Totally serious. His voice has the potential to turn even me on. You know, he could make a killing off voice recordings. I’d buy an audio book just to hear him talk. Completely change my nonexistent zest for reading.”
“You concern me sometimes.”
“It’s the truth. You even have to admit that.” Anne wiggled her eyebrows and gave a quick wink.
Severine agreed. She was just thinking of him yelling her name.
Anne stopped walking as she glanced ahead. “You know, my ass is freezing and I’m tired of walking. I’m going back to the dorms.”
Severine looked in front of them and saw Thayer walking toward them. He smiled and Severine returned the gesture to him. Every step closer made Severine’s skin tingle in excitement. She wanted to touch him, wanted to have him all to herself. “You can stay, you know.”
“Yeah, right.” Anne turned around and hurried in the opposite direction.
Severine stared greedily at Thayer and waited for him to come to her.
She’d never share. Whatever was hers would always remain that way. When Thayer sauntered closer, Severine knew he was strictly hers.
Mine, mine, mine...her mind called out.
She wanted to wrap herself around him and hang tight. It wasn’t the place. Not with people walking on the sidewalk around them in the middle of campus. But she was close to not caring.
They stood across from each other, only inches separating them. Thayer smiled down at her and leaned forward on the balls of his feet before moving closer. “I want you to come to my game,” he declared.
“A game? Yeah, that’s probably not gonna happen.”
“You don’t want to see me play?” Thayer asked. He knew her answer. He knew every single time he asked.
“Didn’t you ask me this awhile back?”
“I did,” he confirmed. “But I’m gonna keep asking until you agree.”
“I’m picturing all the annoying people and the uncomfortable seats. Sad part is...I think I’d be the person carrying one of those huge bleacher pads around.”
“That’s okay. You could just tell people you were sore for other reasons.”
Severine punched him in the arm. “That’s nasty, Thayer.” Even so, she couldn’t get rid of the thoughts running through her head.
Thayer stopped walking and gave her a double take. He knew what she was thinking. His hands reached out toward her but quickly pulled back. He looked away, and Severine was given a glimpse at his profile. The sharp line of his nose, curve of his lips, the firm line of his jaw—it was all too much. It was starting to feel like torture, standing so close to him and not making contact with him.
“So do I get anything if I win?”
The wind picked up around them, and Severine brought her hood up to block the wind. “Do I have to reward you for playing good?”
He bent down close to her. His cologne wafted toward her, and Severine wanted to bury her face into his neck. With his cheek next to her own, he spoke in a hushed voice. It still rumbled through her and gave her chills. “I’m not above begging. If you don’t come to the game, meet me afterwards.”
Severine stood on her tiptoes to speak closer, as Thayer leaned his head down to help. One move of her head, and they’d be kissing. His eyes fixated on her lips and Severine could feel her lips tingling. “Where?”
“I’ll think of somewhere.”
“I’m not meeting you at your apartment,” Severine warned.
Thayer’s lips thinned slightly. “Hell, I wouldn’t ask you to.”
“Good, then we’re on the same page.”
“Our entire situation is messed up. But I’m dead on about one thing—you can’t get me out of your head as much as I can’t get you out of mine.”
Her eyes glinted back at him, and her lips slowly curved upward. “Sometimes I think together we are the worst kind of calamity.”
Thayer grinned back. Severine’s lips burned. “Then I’ve never wanted to be destroyed so bad.”