Chapter Thirty-nine
Severine could sink her teeth into him. There was no certain sweet out there that was good for you. They were all bad for you. But if you searched long enough, you’d find a chocolate that was sinfully good.
You wouldn’t step away with one piece in your hands. No, you’d grab all you could get.
Thayer was Severine’s sinful sweet. After him, there’d be no salvation for her. Not when all she could see was absolution. The word gleamed Severine’s feelings brightly. Guilt stepped in every time she hurriedly drove to meet him. It’d be forgotten the second she saw him. There was a sense of obligation her body felt toward him and for a few hours, everything would be forgotten.
But her conscience would instantly punish her instincts. Over and over it repeated that she was addicted and that she was bound to get hurt again.
The sneaking around had started the minute he dropped her off at her dorm. She saw him that night. He came to her, pounding on her door without caring if everyone in her dorm heard him.
“I can’t give up without a fight.” His declaration still gave her chills—still made her heart go into overdrive. After that, everything became a domino effect. It’d probably always be this way.
But it was hard to think of the wrong when something so right lay underneath her.
Her palms glided up his stomach. Thayer smiled and crossed his hands behind his head. His biceps flexed at the action. Severine’s fingers trailed across his pecs toward the expanse of muscles in his arms.
Underneath her, Thayer’s body jerked. A slow smile spread across Severine’s face. “Are you ticklish?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“A viable question when your body jerks around.”
“Maybe it’s because of you?” Thayer provided.
Severine wrapped her hand around his jaw and kissed him slowly. “You should stop fighting then.”
When she pulled her head back, Thayer blinked repeatedly. “I swear, you’re gonna f*cking kill me,” he muttered.
Her heart raced as Thayer’s hands moved from her hips up to her waist. His movements were slow, like he was an artist and was trying to trace her figure. If she could halt time from continuing, she would.
Severine let her vulnerability show, just for a second. That was all she could show. She intersected his hands from going any further and linked them with her own. “Add a little poison to your kiss, and you’d be my forbidden fruit.”
Thayer arched a single brow. “Getting religious on me, Blake?”
“We both know we shouldn’t be here, and yet, we keep meeting.” His eyes briefly looked fearful. Severine continued with the truth, knowing that it’d hurt her more than him. She glanced at him and whispered out her response, “Sometimes I think I border on worshipping you.”
He slowly nodded his head. They may be alike in so many ways, but there was one thing different about them. Thayer was obstinate. He concentrated over his words with such determination that when he spoke, you knew it was the truth. It made Severine feel heedless—completely out of control.
His eyes drifted down to where they had connected intimately minutes ago. She could go again. Just by him looking at her body, her skin started to tingle with awareness. Severine released his hands, and he immediately cupped her breast. Against her leg she could feel that he was getting hard again. “When we part, what do you feel?” he asked.
It was his eyes she could feel. They traveled across her skin, slowly. He acted as if her body was the map that would lead him to every right direction. Severine’s fear was that he’d lead her toward a cliff. She’d plunge into a dark hole and never see the light of day again.
“It’s a struggle—a tug of war between my good and evil side.”
Her comment was meant to be a joke. Thayer didn’t crack a smile. “What do you feel?”
“I feel like I should seize every moment I have with you before it’s taken away.”
“What does the evil side of you feel?”
Severine shrugged slowly. It was a slash to her heart. Truths weren’t something she was used to coming out of her mouth. Unveiling the sensitive side of her soul was a strange feeling. It made her heart race out of fear—fear that he would reject all her answers. “The same thing.”
Thayer exhaled a breath and nodded his head. “I think you should listen to both the good and evil side of yourself. They seem extraordinarily smart.”
A smile was planted firmly on her face as she stared down at him. When she looked at the clock, her smile dimmed. They’d have to leave soon.
She moved quickly off of him and searched for her clothes on the floor. Severine slipped on her underwear and snatched up the barrette on the dresser. She knotted up her hair and glanced at his jersey hanging up in the corner.
Thayer rolled to his side. The sheet inched down, and she was close to seeing his entire body. “Where are you going?”
She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms underneath her breasts. It was a powerful feeling having Thayer’s gaze focused solely on her body. For a quick second, he glanced at his jersey and then back at her exposed skin. “Are you going to my game?”
Her right hand reached out and moved a piece of material away from the hanger. One tiny slip and the rest of the jersey would fall to the ground. Severine caught it with deft fingers and looked down at the letters stitched on the back. It spelled out Sloan. Severine stared at the jersey as she answered him. “I’ll probably never go to one.”
“Ever?”
“I like the way it is here. People cheering and screaming your name would just be...”
“Too real?” Thayer provided.
Severine let out a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Maybe I’ll play shitty,” Thayer offered. Severine smirked and gripped his jersey tighter in her hand. She knew he wouldn’t. “Then you wouldn’t have to worry about cheers. It’d be a lot of booing and people yelling at me to get my head in the game. Would that make you feel better?”
“What would make me feel better is if we just stay here.” Severine paused and lifted the jersey over her head. When it covered her body, Thayer sat up quickly. Instantly, he was alert.
“Who else has worn your jersey?” Severine asked.
Thayer looked her up and down and smirked. “Just you.”
Severine nodded. The wicked gleam in her eyes made Thayer throw his feet over the edge of the bed.
“What about that Vanessa girl?”
“Vanessa?”
“That girl at the club.”
Thayer stood and slipped on his boxers. He smiled widely and walked closer. “You seem jealous.”
“I am,” Severine confirmed. “And I’ll probably always be that way. Consider it one of the many perks of being with me.”
“It is,” Thayer agreed. He stood in front of her, and Severine leaned her head back against the wall to look at his face. His fingers grasped the material of his jersey. He wrapped it around his fist and jerked her towards him. “You know the biggest perk?”
“What?”
“When I play tonight, I’m gonna smell you on me.”
* * * * *
Severine could play with the best of them.
Sneaky was her middle name in high school. Her mom used to say that when she was quiet, that meant she was up to no good. Severine smirked and looked down at her coffee. This past week had been filled with nothing but Thayer. It was a good kind of quiet.
“You’re here before me.” Lily held her coffee in between her hands and stared down at Severine. “This must be serious.”
Severine shut her book and scooted over. “We haven’t seen each other since school started back up.”
Lily shrugged off her jacket and draped it over the edge of the couch. “It’s only been a week.”
“For us, that’s like a lifetime,” Severine pointed out.
“That’s why you should’ve agreed to stay with Ben and me for a while.”
“That would’ve been too much.”
“So...what’s up?” Lily finally asked.
Severine pushed her book aside and laughed at Lily’s calm demeanor. “I can’t believe this!”
Lily paused, her drink held mid-air, “What?”
“You’re not begging to know how my trip with Thayer went?”
A wide smile transformed Lily’s face. “My New Year’s resolution was to be...less nosey.”
“And how’s that working out so far?”
Her coffee slammed onto the table in front of them. The brown liquid sloshed over the rim. “I’m dying over here! Just tell me what happened before I piss my pants!”
“It was fun.” Severine couldn’t keep her grin off her face for longer than six seconds.
“Just tell me, did you..?”
“Did I what? Meet his parents? His older brother, Mathias? Yeah, I did.”
“He has an older brother?” Lily’s jaw popped open before she tightly shut her mouth and scrunched up her face. “I’ll get back to that later. I need to know the good stuff right now. I wanna know about you and Thayer!”
Severine gave Lily a stare that said everything she couldn’t and sipped her coffee.
Lily’s jaw practically dropped to the floor. “Holy. Shit. If I didn’t know you, I’d kind of hate you right now.”
“You have Ben, you freak show.”
“I’m not blind. That is prime real estate right there.”
“Never use that phrase again.”
“It’s the truth,” Lily anxiously stated. “If anyone finds out about this, the female student body is going to light up torches and stand outside your dorm, just waiting to light your ass up! Right now I’m really glad I don’t live with you.”
“You’re not going to say anything. No one is going to know.”
“Oh.” Lily made a look of disgust. “Ugh. Don’t tell me you’re going to pretend that it never happened?”
That would be physically impossible. Severine’s heart sped up at the thought of pretending. She couldn’t go through with it. “Why would I do that?”
“Thank God.”
“We’re just being quiet about everything,” Severine finally admitted.
“And what is everything?” Lily prodded bluntly.
“Just quiet.” Lily opened her mouth, and Severine covered her friend’s mouth quickly to finish her sentence. “I don’t want anything to fall apart. So we’re going about this calmly, with both our heads on straight.”
“This is all because of Macsen, isn’t it?”
“What else would it be?”
A gentle expression crossed over Lily’s face. She placed a comforting hand on Severine’s leg. “You have to break away from all of that.”
“I’m over it.”
Lily gave her a doubtful look.
“I mean it,” Severine insisted. “It’s like that time in fifth grade when Cody stabbed your hand with a pencil. You bitched about it forever.The pain went away, but you were left with a really strange scar.”
“I didn’t bitch. That hurt. Badly.”
It was Severine’s turn to look skeptical.
“If you’re going to use any of my wounds, use the door slam.”
Severine stared down at the floor in thought. When the memory came to her, a look of horror came across her face. “Gideon slamming your hand in a door at church and your nail falling off, is not something I want to think about.”
“Now I cried like a bitch over that.” Lily conceded.
“Your brother was evil then.”
Lily nodded her head in agreement. “I agree. I give him slack now. He’s just trying to survive our parents.”
“Which brings me to my next point…where the hell were your parents during all your accidents?”
“I’m a church kid. I spent more time running around pews and in Sunday school rooms than anything else.”
“You Partlows are psychopaths.”
“Enough about my wounds that you weirdly used as an example. I understand that you’re cautious. But sneaking around?” Lily looked apprehensive. “How does that help?”
Severine’s expression showed her indifference. Nothing was for certain. But there was always the voice in the back of her head that warned her to remain careful. The same thing that happened with Macsen could happen with Thayer. “It doesn’t. But the last time I jumped into a relationship, it was a disaster.”
“I’ll say it again, it wasn’t your fault,” Lily firmly stated.
“I know that. But you can agree, having any type of connection with someone has the potential to eat you alive.”
“Well, yeah. Unfortunately, your past relationship had a nasty appetite.”
“It’s over, and I’m not gonna think about it.” Severine turned her attention to her book but she could still feel Lily’s focus on her.
“I can’t freaking believe this. I mean we all thought it was going to happen, but I was doubtful.”
Severine turned her head back to Lily. “Who’s we?”
“You know...Ben, me, Chris. A few other people.”
“I’m not even going to ask what was said. You just need to keep your mouth shut and tell no one about this.”
“Mmm...” Lily nodded her head and looked away. “Sure.”
“Seriously," Severine pleaded, "for now, this stays between you and me. Not even Ben needs to know.”
“Is this always going to be a secret?”
“I don’t know.”
Lily’s foot tapped against the coffee table as she stayed silent. “You two can only stay a secret for so long. Someone’s going to uncover you. Just don’t sabotage yourself.”
Severine saw the merit in Lily’s words. She gave a brief nod. “Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime, my friend. Anytime.” She rubbed her hands up and down greedily. “Now, tell me about this other brother!”