I rolled over in bed, groaning. “I’ll be all right.”
“Brought you some tea bags.” She tossed them at me. I knew how much she treasured her tea—it was something we all gave her on holidays.
“Hey, you don’t have to do that.”
“Of course I do.” Her face was angry. “You’re my daughter, and Helen just messed with the wrong family. She’s going to pay for this.”
I sat up. “Margaret, don’t do anything, okay? I can handle it.”
She looked conflicted, then said, “Fine. But we’re not leaving you alone anymore.”
*
For the next few days I kept out of everyone’s way. I could have asked to be put in segregation, for protection, but I hated it in there—locked up twenty-three hours a day without any windows, and only one hour in the yard. I just made sure I wasn’t alone and kept Brenda with me whenever I had to leave my cell—I knew she could fight like hell—and Margaret and Amber when Brenda had to work. We had to keep my ass covered until my suspension was canceled. I saw Helen a lot, when I was running the track or in the range, and she always gave me shitty looks, but she didn’t try anything as long as I was with the girls.
Finally, when I’d been inside for almost a month, Suzanne came for another interview. Our alibis had checked out but she wanted to assess my motivation to come back to the community and whether I’d follow my conditions. I told her all I wanted to do was live a productive life and stay out of trouble. She canceled the suspension and I’d be released the next day. Walking out of that room was the first time I’d taken a full breath in weeks. Margaret and the girls were happy for me. It had been hard on all of us, especially Margaret, whose arthritis had flared up from the tension. That night I avoided the cafeteria, the showers, and the yard. I packed my stuff and stayed in my cell. The only people I spoke to were Margaret and the girls, who made sure no one came near me.
I’d heard from Ryan earlier that week, a “kite” sent through other inmates. He must have found out that Suzanne was interviewing me. All the note said was, Are you in? I knew he wanted to know if I was committed to trying to clear our names. I’d been thinking about nothing else for the last month.
I didn’t want to live the rest of my life wondering if Shauna was going to get me sent back to prison at any moment. And Ryan was right, being on parole wasn’t a real life, everyone still thinking I was guilty. Like how I was fired for the theft, people were always going to see me as an ex-con. The second I was out of there, I was going to do what I should have done when Ryan first showed up. I was going to find out what had really happened that night, even if it meant putting my life on the line. I sent him a letter back saying, Hell, yeah.
I was walking downstairs in the morning with my girls when I saw Helen in the middle of the range, waiting for us. As we moved past her, Brenda and Margaret forming a barrier around me, Helen called out, “See you soon, Murphy.”
I turned back to look at her, but she’d already disappeared into the crowd.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CAMPBELL RIVER
JULY 2013
A couple of days after my parole was reinstated I was back at the campsite and trying to settle in, but I’d barely unpacked and had only bought a few groceries. When I had my first meeting with Suzanne, I told her I was going to start looking for a job right away and was careful not to show any anger about what had happened. But I was still pissed off, and she was smart enough to know it.
Just before she drove off, she said, “Remember, stay away from Ryan Walker and anyone else involved in your case.”
I said, “Of course.” But I had no intention of following any of my parole conditions this time. I had checked for a few jobs online, but I was going through the motions. Ryan was going to contact me soon. I was sure of it. Meanwhile, I’d been thinking about our next steps and how we could finally get to the truth.
I also thought about Captain often and hoped he was okay, but I couldn’t get him out yet, not until I knew I was safe. I called the shelter once. Stephanie got on the line.
“Hi, it’s Toni. Is Captain all right?”
“Are you coming to get him?” she said.
I wanted to cry in relief. He was still there.
“I can’t just yet. I have to take care of some things. Can you give me a little more time?” I closed my eyes, praying.
She paused and I wondered if she was going to tell me to fuck off, that I couldn’t have him back. The moment stretched out.
“Give me a call when you’re ready.”
“Thanks, Stephanie. I really appreciate it. I’ll be there soon. I promise.”
I hung up the phone, hoping I hadn’t just made a promise I couldn’t keep.
*
The night after my meeting with Suzanne, I was ready to put things in motion with or without Ryan, but I decided to give him one more day. Around midnight he finally knocked at my back window. When I let him in, he looked around.
“Where’s Captain?”