I take more painkillers as soon as we get home later in the afternoon. I had planned on doing some work on the Palmer job but I just can’t be arsed and get into bed instead. I must doze straight off to sleep.
I wake and it’s dark. I can hear Gabe playing music in the family room so I decide to have a nice hot bath. I light candles and pour in lashings of my favourite bubble bath; I climb in lay back, soak, and unwind. I have so many questions, I want to ask him about what happened between him and Jackie but I need to pick my moment and I need to be mindful of the fact, he might not want to talk about things, that would be understandable, I feel the same about discussing the bad side of my relationship with Jay, but what he went through is much worse, isn’t it?
I know he's there without opening my eyes and I smile as I feel him squeezing in behind me. He doesn’t say a word. I hook my legs over his and lean back into him. He puts lotion on his hands and starts massaging it into my back, my shoulders, and my breasts. It feels heavenly and I can feel the tension from yesterday ease and float away into the water, along with my muscles and bones. I feel limp, languid, and totally helpless. His hands move down and over my belly then between my legs. I can feel his hard cock pushing into my back but I just don't have the energy to try and touch him. He strokes so, so softly up and down the inside of my open legs and then he pushes his fingers into me with one hand and rubs my clit with the other. He stops and picks up my hand and places it over my sex and rubs my fingers over me, intertwined with his. We rub and massage me together, over me, in me, I moan and sigh with absolute pleasure, my eyes refuse to stay open, but my mouth won’t close, my hips move up and down, gently to the tune his fingers are conducting. His hips are matching the movement of mine. We are moving so gently the water barely moves but the sensation is heavenly, I feel like I am floating, floating in a pool filled with desire and it’s washing, lapping all over me, every part of me is all tingle, sensation and so, so aroused. I put my left foot up on the edge of the bath, opening myself wider to him and he moans into my ear as he pushes the fingers of one hand deep inside of me, whilst he presses the palm of my hand over my clit, with his other hand. I am not going to last much longer, but I feel bad, I have done nothing for him and I can feel his erection pressing into my back. I arch slightly, putting pressure on his cock and his balls, hoping this might help him out in some way. It obviously does something as he pushes his fingers into me harder and deeper and I can’t help but lift and tilt myself up to meet them. I am beginning to jerk and spasm uncontrollably but I am not quite there yet, he kisses my hair and my temple and whispers into my ear...
“This is for you baby, just for you, I'm so sorry for yesterday, I should have told you before about my past, but I didn't know what you would think. I felt too ashamed, but I should never have let you walk in there unaware. I forget how well you can read me, I should have realised you would work things out, I’ve never had anyone that could do that before. I love you and I am truly sorry”
What? No. Ashamed? Ashamed of what for fucks sake? Why should he feel ashamed? I swear to God, next time I see that woman, so help me, I will swing for her.
I turn around in the bath, sending water over the sides and face him. Beyond angry, ropeable is the word they use here and I know who it is I would like to hang, that fucking green eyed cat witch!
“You listen to me, just fucking listen, you have nothing, no reason to feel ashamed, you did nothing wrong in all of that, nothing”
I'm kneeling between his legs, my hands holding either side of his face. I kiss his forehead, his nose, and eyes.
“She is the one that should be ashamed. I cannot believe the front of the woman, that she stayed around and married your dad, knowing that his children knew what she had done. I meant what I said to her yesterday Gabe, she's a rapist, she's a fucking sex offender, a pedophile of the very worst kind, she is your step Mother, you were a minor, she abused her position and she abused you. You should have been able to trust her and she let you down. She should have gone to prison”
I'm crying now as I speak, out of anger, frustration and because I hate the fact that he felt too ashamed to tell me about it.
“Gabe. Imagine and this sounds awful and god forbid that it would ever happen. What if you found out Ava's step dad was doing the same terrible things to her, I know you would kill him, slowly, I know that, but taking that option out of the equation, you would have no hesitation in getting the police involved and having him sent to prison and you would never, not for a Nano second ever consider that it was Ava's fault. I totally understand why your brothers handled things the way they did and quite possibly, under the circumstances, at the time, it was the right thing to do”