The words barely reach my ears, when I hear, very loudly,
“Boom and there it is, I told you, didn't I fuckin tell you, our baby bro's in love, finally, finally Gabe, welcome to the world of never knowing if you’re saying the right thing, accepting your wrong when you know you’re right, taking the blame when you didn’t do anything and generally losing any dignity and respect you may once of had for yourself, just to make her happy”
Gabe’s just shaking his head and smiling.
He loves me.
All around us, Cooper, Sam, Stella, and Jenny are saying cheers and whooping, he loves me; they are noisier than when the horse was running.
He loves me
“What's going on, what's all the noise for?” Charlie has moved away from the racing on the TV, he has his arm around Jackie.
“Gabe’s in love” Zac shouts loud enough for most of Melbourne to hear. He lets me out of his arms but pulls me into his side, I'm crying happy tears; he loves me, I look straight at Jackie, raise my glass, still looking her straight in the eye and say “cheers”
I want to kill her, in that moment, I don't think I have ever felt so much dislike for another human being in my life. My jaw aches its clenched so tight. Sam is at my side and whispers in my ear “Let it go, she’s not worth it”
I look up at her and finally breathe, I turn back to Gabe, he's watching me, studying me, I think just for a change he's unsure of what I'm thinking. I have no idea what's going through his mind but I can almost feel his brain ticking as he looks at me, I feel bad that he is feeling so unsure, he’s told me that he loves me and I have said nothing. He kisses me as I say into his ear
“If you really loved me, you would get me another very large drink” he kisses my temple, takes my glass, and is gone. The instant he leaves my side she's there.
“Well this is a first” Everyone has moved off to the telly, the footies kicked off “Gabe thinks he’s in love does he?” she continues in an almost amused tone. Is she mocking him? Us, what we have? I can't resist, I can't hold back, I lean into the bench top with my hip, fold my arms across my chest and stand sideways on to the rest of the room so they can’t see or hear what I’m about to say. I look her up and down with what I hope is a complete look of contempt on my face and say very quietly “no thanks to you, you fucking sick, twisted pervert , stay the fuck away from us or so help me, I will fuck up your life, the way you fucked up his”
I am so angry, every emotion I have suppressed the last, however long, has surfaced and I just want to rip her head off, what she did goes against everything, that as a woman I stand for, we love, nurture and protect children, all children, whether our own flesh and blood or not, it's what we do, we do not rape and fuck children!
The look on her face doesn't change, remaining cold, impassive, as she says, “Oh so he told you about our little bit of fun did he?” her lips almost curl into a smile as she speaks. She reminds me of a cat and I've never been a cat person.
“He didn't tell me anything, he can’t even bear to speak your name, I was just curious as to why he’ll do anything not to be around you, why you repulse him so much, why he pulled his arm away from your touch earlier, so Sam filled me in on your sordid little secret. She gave me all the details”
“Before you carry on, you should get your facts straight, he enjoyed it, he never said no, ever”
That's it; I swing round and get right in her face, barely holding on to my temper.
“How fucking dare you try and justify what you did. You raped a child; you are a pervert, a pedophile, and a sex offender. If I had my way, you would be locked up. He was fifteen for fucks sake. Just remember that I know. I know all about you. Your card is marked. Come anywhere near us, unnecessarily or uninvited and I will have you, now fuck off out of my sight, I cannot bear to look at you”
She swallows, her eyes wander all over my face, she looks over my shoulder and says,
“Control your new little pet will you Gabriel” and turns and walks away from me.
I take a step forward, intending to grab her hair, so I can swing her around and smack her as hard as I can on the nose, but Gabe is quicker and pulls me back to him.
“Not here Lauren, this is Charlie’s home, he doesn’t know any of what went on, it would kill him if he ever found out”