She offers me another cigarette and I take it, my mind is reeling, I cannot believe what I am hearing. I want to kill her, Jackie, I want to inflict pain on her in a way that I have never, ever wanted to hurt another person.
“So we all go to bed that night, in agreeance that we would deal with it quietly when they get back and that she had to go. We let Gabe get thoroughly pissed, we all had a good cry as we said our good nights but he seemed okay, in a much better place. Three o'clock that morning, Coop gets a phone call; Charlie's had a heart attack and is critically ill in hospital. We all end up flying up to the Goldie. Give Jackie, her due, she was good, she never left his side, and she did seem to be truly devastated. As soon as he started to get better, he proposed to her and she, of course, said yes. We realised then, there was no way we could get her to leave him but we still told her that we knew what she had been doing, that we had evidence and that if she ever went near him again, we would have no hesitation in going public and this news would possibly cause Charlie to have another heart attack, or worse. It was harsh but, we felt, our only option, we had to protect Gabe at all costs. There was weeping and wailing, begging and promises, apologies and excuses from her. So it all came to an end. She left him alone. But he was left fucked up, seriously fucked up. He has had anger management issues since he was small, it all started after his mum died but nothing like this, he was fighting all the time, I lost count of the amount of times the police bought him home drunk or because he'd been in another blue. Everyone thought he was angry at his Dads’ marriage and he was but little did they know the reason why he was so pissed off”
She rubs her hand over her jaw and her mouth as she speaks; this is as painful for her to talk about as it is for me to listen to
“In the end the boys had to get him into therapy, all without Charlie finding out. Eventually it seemed to do the trick, he calmed down, he still wouldn't be in the same room as Jackie, but he was able to stay calm when he was around her. He's always been really bright so he took most of his VCE's in year 11 so Charlie agreed to let him leave school as long as he went back and finished any outstanding exams; he started working full time in the family business and hasn't looked back since. You would probably know more than me about how he is now but I think he's still affected by it, he still has serious trust issues, he has to know every detail of every situation, and he likes to be reassured all the time and can be quite self-destructive. He went through a stage of only fucking married women, like it was a revenge type thing, especially after he caught Nina with another bloke, even though he never loved her. That all stopped though, when he was about twenty five and Coops wife had an affair, he saw then, first hand, the devastation it caused”
She pauses and wipes the tears from her face and mine. “But you need to know it wasn't his fault, really and truly Lauren, it was rape, she raped him. If he had been a girl and she was a man, we would have gone straight to the police but because that wasn't the case, we didn’t. Whether that was right or wrong, I don't know, we were a bunch of kids and dealt with it the best way we could at the time, but we still worry about him, we all worry that we let him down, that we shouldn't have let it happen in the first place”
She lets out a very deep breath and drains her glass. I'm holding myself up on the balcony rail, my legs feel like they are going to go from under me and I'm looking around for somewhere to vomit. Sam moves closer and puts her arm around my shoulder.
“I'm sorry Lauren but I needed you to know how it was, he's told Zac how much he likes you and I am not having that bitch ruin any more of his life. He's kept women at arm’s length for all these years. Nina was an almighty fuckup, but that was just Gabe trying to do the right thing and also panic setting in when he thought he might lose his daughter. The only people he allows himself to get close to are all of us and of course Ava, who he loves with every fiber of his being but since he's met you, the boys have noticed such a change in him, how his eyes light up when any one asks about you, he talks about things you've said that he thinks are funny, the boys say it’s just been hilarious to watch, he really has no idea about relationships as I'm sure you’re realising but just watching him walk in here with you today, the look on his face, his body language, I have never seen him like that, ever. I hope you understand why I needed you to know, I'm probably going to be in so much trouble but he's such a good bloke, I love him so much, he’s like a brother to me, he really does deserve to finally be happy with someone”
We both have a good cry and I tell her about the recent events involving the breakdown of my marriage and how quickly things have moved along with Gabe. I admit how strong my feelings are for him.
“Can I ask something? Its personal so don't feel obliged but I'm curious to find out if the legends are true?”