“Because we’re going to the beach in three weeks.”
“We’re what?” I asked.
“Holly’s rented a beach house for a weekend. Friday after work until Sunday and she’s making everyone go. Apparently, it’s her last few months of freedom and she wants to enjoy them. You up for it?”
No ‘are you going off on the deep end again’ question from him.
“Seriously? I’m definitely in. Who else is going?” Lucas finally turned to look at me but I didn’t look at him. We’d have that argument when I hung up.
“Me, you, Holly, James, Sophie, Mark, Adam and Ad’s girlfriend. I forgot her name.”
“Adam’s coming, too, wow.”
“Yeah. Sophie convinced him. I don’t know how and I don’t want to.” I laughed and rolled my eyes.
“Awesome, I can’t wait,” I said. God, I needed to get away for a few days more than anything. I had three weeks to convince Mum to let me go.
“Good. I gotta go, I’m meeting my dad. I’ll call you later,” he said, chuckling.
“Okay, bye.” I hung up the phone and took a deep breath.
“So where’s he taking you?” Lucas asked tightly.
“He isn’t taking me. Holly’s booked a beach house so we can all chill before she has the baby.”
“Right,” he said, staring forward still. Not once had he looked at me since I took the call. Supposedly he was ‘okay’ with Kai but he’d not done much to prove that.
“Would you be like this if it was Adam that asked me?”
He was silent so we both knew the answer.
“It’s different,” he said. I looked at him, waiting for an explanation. “You hadn’t spent months having sex with Adam.”
“No, we just went out for five months a couple years ago,” I mumbled. Lucas knew that and he also knew we were only fourteen and it was no big deal. I sighed and moved around so I was facing him and he finally looked at me. “Lucas, do you trust me?”
“I trust you, Tegan.”
“What do you think Kai’s gonna do? He’s a friend and I love you.”
His face softened. He put his arm around me and rested his forehead on mine. “I love you, too, and I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t do anything, I just get a little jealous.” A little jealous?
“We’ve talked about this before. I’ll always be friends with Kai.”
He sighed. “I know, shorty.” I think he wanted to say more but he kissed me instead, which I definitely preferred. “So, where are you going?” I smiled and kissed him again.
“To a beach. I didn’t ask which one but they’re all pretty much the same, right?”
“You didn’t ask where?”
I shook my head and shrugged. “It’s in England.”
He laughed and gently pulled me onto his lap. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, but it’s only for four days and you can catch up with your friends. I’ve been stealing you so much.”
He smiled. “Wanna go see them together now? There’s a race this afternoon.”
God, I really wanted to get out of this house and get some fresh air. “Heck yeah. I’ll grab my hoody.”
Lucas never took his eyes off me as I taped a smaller bandage over my wrist and slipped my hoody on. I hated the cut and hated even more that I’d have a scar, but at least I had something to show me where I never wanted to go again. The angry red gash kept me just above water.
Lucas left me getting my phone and putting a little make-up on and went to clear our outing with my mum. She’d say yes to him and we both knew we’d have a better chance if I wasn’t there. I couldn’t control my mouth when she questioned what I wanted to do. I felt like everything was an attack or a judgement.
I relaxed further when we were in Luke’s car and on our way. “So how are you gonna get your mum to agree to let you go to the beach?” he asked.
“I have no idea. Right now she won’t let me go in the garden alone.”
“Do they all know about what happened?”
“No, just Kai.” I thought about telling Sophie but I wasn’t sure how she’d react and I couldn’t handle her looking at me like I was made of glass or had gone insane. “I don’t want anyone else to know.”
“Of course,” he replied.
“You know they’ll all be too drunk to realise if they’ve left you at the beach, right?” he said. “Well, except for Holly. She’ll look out for you, won’t she?”
I nodded and he seemed happier about me going, not that he shouldn’t. If he was going away with friends I’d tell him to have a good time and have a drink for me.
I didn’t need looking after but I wasn’t in the best position to argue that. “I’ll be fine but Holly will definitely be looking our for everyone. She’s firmly in mum-mode now.”