I woke up still feeling absolutely exhausted. I’d not slept all that much in the past few days and it was taking its toll. Lucas was leaving tomorrow and I wanted to ask him to stay a bit longer. But he had to work.
I found myself back in the music room at five in the morning, staring at the piano. Dad’s aftershave filled the room, or I was imagining it was. It was comforting and painful at the same time. When it finally faded away that would be it forever.
The room felt smaller, the walls crept in inch by inch until I felt like I was in a prison cell. My heart raced and I braced myself against the piano. Shit, I can’t breathe properly.
Someone touched me and I guessed Lucas because the arms curled around my waist. His chest was pressed to my back. I concentrated on staying in reality and not letting my mind pull me under.
“Hey,” he said. “You alright?”
He didn’t sound all that concerned so he obviously missed my near-meltdown. I wasn’t alright, I felt like I was going to collapse in a ball and cry for hours but instead I nodded. Calm down. Push it away. I forced Dad out of my head and heightened the wall around my heart. Fuck feelings.
“What’re you doing up so early?” I asked. I have got to get out of here soon.
“I went to sneak into your room but you weren’t there.”
“Oh. Well, give me a minute and I’ll go back up.” Walking out of his arms, I gave him a flirty smile over my shoulder and went back to my bedroom.
No less that ten seconds after I’d gotten back in bed Lucas came through the door, quietly shutting it behind him.
I gasped. “How dare you sneak into my room and break the house rules.”
He rolled his eyes, smiling, and climbed onto the bed. I waited for a smart arse reply but it was clear that wasn’t his next move when he kissed me, laying me down on the mattress. I preferred his plan.
His tongue slipped in my mouth and the kiss became a little more urgent. He pressed half of his weight down on me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Being with him like this felt more than it had done with anyone else but I still felt like something was missing. That something was probably me, though.
“Lucas, I’m ready,” I whispered against his lips.
He pulled back and rested on his arms. His blue eyes were filled with lust and uncertainty. “I don’t think you are, Tegan. You might want it right now but I think you’ll regret it after. I’m not taking that risk, I can wait.”
“You’re so sweet, you know.” I wasn’t not ready for sex, especially not with my track record, but perhaps he was right and I didn’t want to rush yet another thing with him.
I ran my finger along the edge of his jaw and bit my lip. “Just because we’re not gonna have sex doesn’t mean we can’t fool around a little.”
His eyes darkened. “Really?”
I nodded and pulled his head down so I could kiss him. He was back into it in an instant, tongue wrestling mine and hand wandering down, caressing my sides as he headed for the ultimate goal.
My body was on fire. I was so definitely ready for fooling around. Lucas’s hand reached my pyjama shorts and I gasped as he lightly brushed his knuckles between my legs. I arched my hips, needing more friction and moaned his name into his mouth.
When his hand dipped under my shorts I thought my heart was going to stop altogether. I was so turned on, so needy, that all I wanted was for him to get me off, like right now.
He kissed me harder and slipped his finger inside. His tongue moved quicker against mine as he swirled his finger around inside me. I arched my hips, meeting him thrust for thrust. My fingernails clawed the fabric covering his back as he took me higher and higher.
He added a second finger and I bit down on his lip as I fell apart, clamping around him as I climaxed. “Shit,” he murmured against my mouth once the aftershocks of my orgasm had worn off. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”
I’d wanted him to do that for a while.
My chest heaved and I groaned at the loss of him as he pulled out and sat up.
“You can do that anytime you like,” I said. Smirking, Lucas got off the bed and rearranged his erection so it was less obvious. “What’re you doing?” He was off the bed. Shouldn’t he be taking his jeans off?
“Going back to my room before we’re caught.”
“What? But I haven’t even played with you yet.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Plenty of time for that, shorty. You can owe me one.”
Smug bastard wasn’t getting anything from me. I narrowed my eyes as he laughed again and left.
Lucas was sitting in the lounge drinking coffee with everyone else when I walked in after my shower. I sat next to him, making sure he saw me glare at least once.
“You still want me to come with you today?” he asked, trying not to smile.
No.