Imagine you’re driving your car and you turn the steering wheel left, but the wheels end up turning right. And when you step on the brakes, the car accelerates. If all the parts of a machine aren’t working together, the machine will fail at performing a task. The best results come from a well-oiled machine. And that’s what you should strive to make your mind, body, and soul—a well-oiled, fully functional machine that allows you to perform your best.
How can you tell if your team members are in sync? Well, is your Facebook status reflective of your actions in real life, and are those actions reflective of what you truly believe in your heart? Do you perform certain actions throughout your day that you constantly feel guilty about? Do you say you’re going to do something, but then just can’t get yourself to do it? If your thoughts, actions, and emotions are not all in line, then your team is not in sync. Discovering your team is not working together is an indication that you need to make some changes.
When people ask me if I’m dating anyone, I reply very honestly by saying, “No, because I’m a bad girlfriend.” Chances are by the time you’re reading this, nothing will have changed because artificial men don’t exist and Chris Hemsworth doesn’t know I exist. I discovered I was a bad girlfriend when I realized that my team wasn’t in sync during my last relationship. I’d been dating my boyfriend at the time for about two years (basically, an eternity), and aside from a few incompatibilities, he was a great guy. In my mind I told myself, “He checks all the boxes, and so I definitely care about him.” When people asked me about him, I would tell them the same thing. When we would argue about me not giving him enough attention or time, I would reply, “That is ridiculous. OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT YOU.” Here’s the thing, though: I FELT like I cared about him and I SAID that I cared about him, but I never ACTED like I cared about him. I kept prioritizing other things above him, and thus my body wasn’t in sync with my mind and soul. My machine wasn’t able to produce the love and dedication required for a successful relationship.
Eventually I ended things because I knew something was not right. My team didn’t agree about that relationship, but it did agree about my career. Pulling an all-nighter to work on videos INSTEAD of having a conversation with my boyfriend was something all my team members agreed on. I said I would work, I felt like working, and then I worked. When I realized that my team was in alignment regarding my career, I also realized that I wasn’t ready to prioritize a relationship. Basically, my mind, body, and soul were like a gold-medal-winning synchronized swimming team.
Your team is there to help you make life’s toughest decisions. When I was applying for graduate school, I remember THINKING I wanted to get in and ACTING like I wanted to, but my soul spoke up and got me to stop writing the essay for the application. I didn’t truly FEEL good about going to graduate school, and that feeling led me to pursue my current career. Your team members will give you hints, so don’t ignore them. In addition, don’t ever feel like your mind, body, and soul are wrong if other people have different ideas about what you should be doing. It’s your team. They play FOR YOU.
The next time you do something, pay attention to the feeling you have afterward. If you feel guilty about your actions, chances are your team is not aligned. If you regret saying something, chances are you’re not in sync. If the 140 characters you type on Twitter don’t reflect your character offline, you have some team building to do. It’s a beautiful feeling to have your mind, body, and soul all working together to achieve a common goal. When everything is in harmony, you’ll never have to lie or be fake. You can just be unapologetically yourself. Talk about #SquadGoals.
Listen to your mind. Work with your body. Feel with your soul. Be in sync. Be so N’sync that when you leave a room, you say, “Baby, bye bye bye.”
Get in Sync
Think of a big decision you have coming up and answer these three questions.
What do I think I should do?
What do I feel I should do?
What will I actually do?
OUT OF THE BLUE
2007 I am nineteen years old and I’ve been calling myself Superwoman for years now. I’m not really sure I’ve earned that title, though. I think it just sounds cool and makes me feel empowered. The name helps me believe that I can get through anything, but that might just be silly of me.
I’m listening to Alicia Keys’s song “Superwoman” on repeat, completely mesmerized by the music video. It features strong women who have overcome challenges and exude confidence. They deserve to be called Superwomen. No one would dispute that. I watch them with admiration, dreaming about the day when I’ll be truly worthy of such a title. I want to be strong like them. I want to fight like them. I want to stand for something, like they do.
I’m inspired by the lyrics, but the feeling I have listening to the song is also bittersweet. Deep down I’m fearful that none of these words will ever apply to me. What if I’m destined for nothing great at all? What if my cape fades away and the S on my chest is just a teenage delusion? I don’t know where I want to go in life or what I want to be. All I know is that I want to do something special and be known for something.
That would be a dream come true.
2016 I’m twenty-seven years old and I’ve been calling myself Superwoman for years now. In fact, millions of people around the world also know me by that name. Superwoman is a symbol for strength and empowerment. Young girls and boys make an S symbol with their fingers and beam with pride. I guess it makes them feel like they can get through anything.
My journey as Superwoman has taken me to a lot of cool places, but tonight I’m definitely at one of the coolest. I’m in Sicily, Italy, and we’re heading to a private dinner at an ancient temple. We arrive, and it’s absolutely stunning, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I have a delicious meal while surrounded by amazing people and engaged in great conversation. I didn’t think the night could get any better, but then it does.
Beneath the stars, I stand by the ancient ruins and listen to Alicia Keys perform live. Her voice is like food for my soul. I am captivated by her energy. I close my eyes and live the moment as thoroughly as I possibly can, feeling blessed for this opportunity. She finishes her set with power and grace, and I feel as if her performance has added years to my life.
I go back to my table and start gathering my things to leave. I’m feeling so overwhelmed that I almost don’t notice the tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see the gorgeous face of Alicia Keys smiling at me. She says to me, “I was going to sing ‘Superwoman’ for you.” A wave of emotion overcomes me. In that moment, I’ve officially been dubbed a Superwoman. She goes on to say how proud she is of everything I’m doing, with my book, lipstick, and #GirlLove campaign. She knows I stand for something, and those things are special.
This moment is a dream come true.