Right now you might be thinking, “Listen, Mindy imposter, you know nothing about my life, so how can you tell me it’s awesome?” And to you I say, “Your life is a giant photo album and one sucky situation is simply a 4×6.” Even two or three 4×6s don’t make an entire album.
Let’s zoom out for a minute. I know your life is awesome because you’re sitting somewhere, probably in a house or a school, reading this book, which either you bought with your own money or was given to you as a gift. You’re wearing clothes on your body (or maybe not, in which case, me-ow) and you’re probably not starving. I’m going to also take a guess and say you took a shower today and tonight you will sleep in a bed. You may think this is all regular stuff, but don’t make the mistake of assuming that everything you have is dismissible just because you’ve gotten used to it. If you’re going to rate your life, rate the entire thing and don’t be selective.
But I get it—you’re human, and humans get used to things. We get used to the clothes we own, the water we drink, and the clean air we breathe. We forget about our privilege, and in my opinion, that is one of our biggest weaknesses. To be a Bawse, you must constantly remind yourself of all that you have to be grateful for and learn to truly appreciate those things. To do this, you need to rewire your brain. Here are a few ways to go about it:
One of the ways that I’ve been teaching myself to be more grateful is to CALL OUT ALL THE SIMPLE THINGS I usually overlook, saying them out loud. For example, if I’m annoyed about being stuck in traffic, I’ll say, “I’m driving in a car in a beautiful city on a hot summer day.” This sentence prompts me to realize that (a) I’m fortunate enough to have a car, (b) I live in a beautiful city, and (c) I’m really enjoying the weather. Then I take a good look around me and absorb the words I just spoke to myself. To make this a habit, try using this technique even when you’re not annoyed or bothered by something. When I’m out with my friends having a great time, I will say “I’m having fun with my friends and we’re eating a delicious dinner.” When you really pay attention, there is so much to be grateful for. Right now you can say, “I’m in a safe place, reading an awesome book before I eat my lunch.” DANG, you’re blessed!
Sometimes in order to BE GRATEFUL you need to WITNESS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY OF LIVING. It’s heartbreaking to say this, but it’s often hard to understand how blessed you are without realizing how rough some other people have it. After all, you can’t miss what you’ve always had. One day not long ago I was that person on an airplane very annoyed about not having Wi-Fi. I was on a fourteen-hour flight, and instead of getting work done, I had to sleep uncomfortably in a cramped space. Fast-forward twenty-four hours, and I was in the middle of Kenya. On the drive to my camp, I saw little children playing outside their huts wearing torn clothes and worn sandals. When our car drove by they ran to the road in excitement and waved to us with warm smiles. Seeing new people in a moving car was the highlight of their day. After witnessing this, I knew I could never complain about Wi-Fi ever again. Again, I get it—we all live different lives and we’ve come to depend on different standards of living. But sometimes it’s important to put yourself in situations where you get to witness firsthand how blessed you are. You can do this by traveling, watching documentaries, reading a book, or simply viewing a YouTube video. Be aware of your privilege.
If you’re just starting out in your career, getting into a new relationship, or beginning a new chapter in your life, it’s important to PAUSE FOR A MOMENT AND REFLECT on what reaching this milestone means to you. It’s sad to work so hard for something, only to become complacent once you’ve achieved your goal. Don’t let your brain do that! Write yourself a letter or create a video diary reminding your future self how much your past self wanted something. For example, if you’re a college graduate who’s struggling to find a job and is in a really bad financial situation, write yourself a letter that outlines exactly how you feel. Talk about how much a good job would mean to you. Then, down the line, when you land that amazing job (like I know you will, because you’ll work hard for it), read the letter and remember how far you’ve come.
I was recently talking to my friend David when he said something life-changing. He was actually repeating something his professor said to him: “There’s a lot of horrible things happening in the world, and to deal with it you have two choices. You can pretend it doesn’t exist and be numb to it. You can probably do this and live a long, happy life and still feel like a good person. Or you can recognize that you won the lottery with your privilege and do something with your winnings.”
Being appreciative is an important ingredient in the recipe for happiness, and happiness is an important ingredient in the recipe for being a Bawse. Surprise—there’s baking involved. Either you can focus on the one oddly shaped puzzle piece in your hand or you can look at the bigger picture and remember all that you are blessed with. It’s your lottery money, so how are you going to spend it?
For starters, you can go out and actually buy Mindy’s book. It’s so damn good.
Get Grateful
List five things you take for granted.
WHEN YOU THINK of the most important team in your life, who do you think of? Maybe it’s your hometown football team. Maybe it’s your co-workers who all work alongside you during late nights at the office. Or maybe it’s your family, the people who support you through thick and thin and know just how weird you truly are. Not the cute weird, the real weird. But while these teams are all important, none of them are as important as the team we have within us. This team governs our happiness, consciousness, and productivity.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Introducing your starting lineup for the home team! Up first, weighing in at approximately three pounds, sporting a fabulous thinking cap, give it up for your MIND!
Up next, weighing five pounds more than before you ate lunch, and the only player on the team that has scored any physical points in the game, give it up for your BODY!
And last, weighing zero physical pounds but feeling like a ton, the inspiration for an entire genre of music, give it up for your SOUL!
I’ll wait a moment for the crowd to settle down …
Conquering your mind, body, and soul and training them to work as a team allow you to align your thoughts, actions, and emotions. This alignment will not only result in genuine happiness but also provide you with the optimal conditions to be productive. After all, when a team works together, it can accomplish great things. BUT if even one member of the team doesn’t cooperate, the entire team will become inefficient and disagreeable. Think of your mind, body, and soul as members of a group project. You get the best grade when everyone does an equal amount of work. As soon as one person pulls the “my computer crashed” line, the entire project suffers.
If the thought of having little team members inside yourself terrifies you, then, first of all, you need to watch Inside Out because this concept is actually adorable. Second of all, you can also just think of yourself as a machine. (Because robots are less terrifying than cute cartoons?! Stop it.)