For someone as rich and famous as Dwayne Johnson, I was shocked that he made a point to introduce himself to every new person he met, even if they didn’t initiate the interaction. He acted as if people didn’t know exactly who he was, which was both refreshing and impressive. Not only did my entire crew comment on his behavior after we were done shooting, but my friend and fellow YouTube creator Grace Helbig also pointed out this specific trait of Dwayne’s after she met him for a shoot. If two girls get together to discuss Dwayne Johnson and, of all things, end up talking about how he shakes people’s hands, something is very wrong. Or, perhaps, very right.
Since meeting Dwayne, I’ve met two other spectacular individuals who behave in a similar fashion. The king of soca music, Machel Montano, walked into my dress rehearsal when I was performing in Trinidad and Tobago. The first thing he did was walk around the entire stadium and shake hands with all my dancers, my stage manager, the AV crew, and even some random people I didn’t know who had probably snuck in. After rehearsal, all my dancers commented on how wonderful Machel was. They met many new people that evening, but it was Machel who blew them away. (By the way, if you don’t know what soca music is, you need to YouTube-search some Machel Montano right now. Your booty can thank me later.)
The other person whose impeccable manners and class have made a major impact on me is the star of The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon. He walked into my NYC dressing room the day I was scheduled to be on his show, and we instantly started chatting away about the show and my YouTube videos until he looked around and abruptly stopped. “Hi, how are you? I’m Jimmy!” he said as he shook hands with my hair and makeup stylists. Hit by a wave of admiration, I thought, “Of course you’re Jimmy! This is your show! You’re a superstar!” But superstardom didn’t stop Jimmy from shaking every person’s hand.
Now, you can call it a coincidence, but three of the most successful people I’ve ever met have all had this distinctive tendency. Not only do they introduce themselves, but they extend a hand to new people because they understand that a good handshake can say a lot about who you are.
After taking note of this, I tried it out for myself. I was in Anaheim, California, for VidCon, which, if you’re not familiar with it, is a convention that brings together YouTube creators and fans in the most Armageddon-type way. YouTube creators literally have to swim through a sea of screaming fans to get from panel to panel, and it’s exciting and borderline terrifying all at the same time.
After finally making it from my hotel room to the convention center, I was a little drained and not my usual high-energy self. But it was time to shoot “YouTubers Read Mean Tweets” for Jimmy Kimmel’s show, and being tired wasn’t an option. I walked into the room with a huge smile on my face, and the segment director instantly approached me, introduced himself, and directed me to take a seat in front of the camera. This guy probably had to do a hundred more of these segments, and I could tell he was sticking to a routine. But I had a different plan. Before sitting down, I went around the room and introduced myself to the writer, the assistant, the sound technician, the cameraman, and the security guard. I was shaking what my mama gave me—and that’s my hand. I got more stares and shocked looks in that moment than all the other times I’ve shaken other things my mama gave me. I’m serious. What? I like to have fun.
After recording the segment, I thanked everyone and started heading toward the door, only to be stopped by the director. He gave me a smile and said, “Hey, you’re really cool. Do you want to check out the show sometime? What’s your email?” Fast-forward to three months later, and I’m sitting in the greenroom at a Jimmy Kimmel taping, eating delicious cake and mingling with some pretty rad people. And at that moment I knew: if a behavior results in free cake, one must always perform that behavior.
Since then, introducing myself to everyone in a room has become my mantra. Of course, I do this within reason. I don’t walk into a Forever 21 and shake hands with all the customers, because who has any free hands when shopping? And Forever 21 is usually three floors and I simply do not believe in that much cardio. But whenever I walk onto a set or into a meeting, I make it a point to introduce myself, and every single time I do it, I see a flicker of appreciation in people’s eyes.
The way I see it, it’s on you to create great opportunities. Whenever you meet someone for the first time, you have the opportunity to make a killer first impression and ensure they remember you. So you have two options. You can walk into a room and blend in with the crowd. I mean, this is cool too, you know, if you want to be all those other characters in a Where’s Waldo? book that people skim over. Or before you enter a room, you can take a deep breath and commit to making a great impression. Yes, it takes a lot of energy and time to make people feel important and valued. And to that I respond, “Boo-effing-hoo.” You’re a Bawse now, and you need to spend less energy stalking your ex on Instagram and more energy making phenomenal first impressions. Plus, there are so many famous puppies on Instagram now who are way cuter than your ex. Get your priorities straight.
IF YOU SKIPPED straight to this chapter, I’m sorry about your recent breakup. Read this chapter, and then when you’re ready and have finished eating your ice cream, you should read the rest of the book too. But now that you’re here, welcome to what is probably the most specific chapter of this book. The title implies that your ex, specifically YOUR ex (if you have one; if not, then la dee da), wasn’t right for you. That’s pretty ignorant of me to conclude since I don’t personally know you or your ex (unless I’m your ex, in which case, awkkkwarddddd, because I’m awesome). I don’t know why you broke up or whose fault it was, if anyone’s. But I do know that if someone is no longer in your life by choice, then they are not right for you. Allow this chapter to be pizza for your heartbreak. Toppings include extra cheese, mushrooms, and a whole lot of truth.
Human beings do this silly thing where they get into relationships. Not all species do that. A lot of species understand the importance of procreating, and so they pee in certain areas, meet up, get jiggy with it, pop some kids out, and move on in life. Maybe they howl at each other every once in a while. But most humans form relationships and are heavily impacted by them. For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to split people who experience breakups into two categories: the people who get over things relatively quickly and move on with life, and the people who are glued to their bed for three months, wearing clothes covered in BBQ sauce stains. This chapter is for group number two, because for them the chances are that a breakup results in them being unproductive, unmotivated, and the opposite of what a Bawse should be. Why? They are devastated, miss their ex-partner, and are confused by how they can ever fill the hole this person left in their heart. Let’s talk about that.
“YOU SHOULD BE SAD ABOUT MISSING SOMEONE AND BEING HURT, BUT YOU SHOULD NOT BE SAD BECAUSE YOU BELIVE THAT PERSON WAS RIGHT FOR YOU. I’M 99 PERCENT CERTAIN THEY WERE NOT.
It’s necessary to feel your emotions. So if you’re devastated due to a breakup, by all means cry it out, stay in bed, and scream at his or her picture. We all know that time heals wounds, so I’m not going to convince you not to mourn. What I want to convince you of is that you should be sad about missing someone and being hurt, but you should not be sad because you believe that person was right for you. I’m 99 percent certain they were not. And if you’re in that remaining 1 percent, then just play along anyway. In fact, I might change your mind too. I’m feeling myself!
This entire chapter was created as the result of a conversation I had with one of my friends. I was consoling him about his last breakup, which happened quite a while ago, but he was still affected by it. For the sake of time and everyone’s sanity, allow me to summarize the conversation for you. There’s no need for trees to die because of this hot mess of a relationship. Let’s call my friend Bob and his boyfriend Steve. Yes, welcome to 2017, where love wins.
??Bob and Steve meet. They fall in love.
??Bob and Steve move in together.
??Bob and Steve also work together.
??Bob and Steve spend almost all their time together.